Authors: Lisa Schroeder
Tags: #Juvenile Fiction, #Social Themes, #Physical & Emotional Abuse, #Love & Romance, #Friendship, #General, #Social Issues
“Rae,” Spencer called to me as he hung up the phone. “Death by guillotine or hanging?”
“Gross,” I said, taking a seat next to him. “Hanging, of course. But why are you in such a morbid mood today?”
He took my hand and held it up to his chest. He wore a festive, red-and-green-plaid sweater vest over a long-sleeve white T-shirt. My hand covered his heart. “Kevin and I got in a huge fight last night,” he explained. “It was awful. Is my heart still beating?”
I pulled my hand away and gave his shoulder a little shove. “Of course it’s still beating. You’re stronger than that, Spence.”
He sighed. “No. I’m really not. I’m a fragile flower, Rae. An orchid. That’s what I am.”
I stood up and put my arms around his shoulders, pulling him into a hug. “Well, what do you know? My favorite.” He wrapped his arms around me tight. We stayed that way for a while. He needed it. And maybe I did too.
“Thank you,” he whispered. “You’re the best, my little Rae of sunshine.”
I pulled away, my hands resting on his shoulders. “It’ll be okay. Take home some flowers. A bottle of wine. And apologize. A lot.”
“But—” he started to protest.
I held my finger up. “Doesn’t matter. Make it right. That usually starts with sorry. For something. It doesn’t have to be for everything, but for something.”
“I hate to interrupt, but could I get some help here, please?” Nina called to us as she came through the front door carrying a large box.
Spencer jumped up to help her. “Sorry, darling. I was just getting in a quick therapy session. Rae’s quite good at listening, you know.”
“I don’t doubt it,” she said as she placed the box into Spencer’s arms. “She’s good at a lot of things.”
“What’d you buy?” I asked.
“Stupid printer died this morning,” she told me, taking Spencer’s stool as he carried the box to the back room. “And, good heavens, it’s insane out there. You’d think Christmas was tomorrow. Speaking of which, young lady, I made up the schedule last night and I didn’t put you on it. I figured you’ve been working a lot lately, and you needed some time with your family and friends.”
I felt panic rising up in my chest. “Wait, what? You took me off the schedule?”
“Yes. Starting tomorrow, the twenty-second through the third of January. You know that once the holiday is past, it’ll be dead as a doornail anyway.” She patted my arm as she got up. “Spencer and I can handle it. Take some time off, Rae. Have
some fun. Do whatever it is kids your age do when they have nothing but time on their hands.” She smiled and winked at me.
I didn’t know what to say. How could I be stuck at home with nothing to do for twelve days? Not to mention that if I didn’t work, I didn’t get paid. Dean would throw a fit.
“Nina, look—”
“No buts about it. I’m paying you too. All good employees deserve a paid vacation once in a while.”
So that was that. I was taking a vacation, whether I wanted to or not.
I spent the rest of the afternoon helping Spencer put together some wreaths and flower arrangements for the Lutheran church in town. The time flew by, and when the clock struck six, my heart sank a little bit. Home. I had to go home. For almost two weeks. It made me shudder just thinking about it.
As I put on my coat, Nina walked over and handed me an envelope.
“Merry Christmas from me to you.” I turned the envelope over in my hands. “Well, go on,” she said. “Open it!”
The flap wasn’t sealed. I peeked inside. A hundred dollar bill was tied with a pretty red ribbon.
“Nina!”
She waved her finger in front of my face. “Uh-uh. No arguing. It’s a little Christmas bonus, that’s all. Buy yourself something nice, okay? I’m assuming finances are still an issue, since your planets continue to be in retrograde. It probably
won’t solve all your problems, but maybe it’ll help a little.”
I gave Nina a hug. She smelled like lilacs. When I pulled away, I said, “Thank you. For everything. You’re the best boss a girl could have.”
“Have a great holiday, okay?”
“I’ll try. You too. What are you doing, anyway? Please don’t say working.”
“My friend Linda invited me to spend Christmas Day with her and her family. The rest of the time, I’ll be here.” She shrugged. “What can I say? It makes me happy.”
When she said it like that, I couldn’t get upset with her. It made me hope that someday, when I had a full-time job, I’d love it as much as Nina loves hers.
We said good-bye and then I went out to the shop. Spencer was rearranging flower arrangements in the glass cases.
“Bye, Spence. Go home soon and make up with Kevin, okay? And have a happy Christmas.”
He turned around and held his finger up, then rushed to the desk, opened a drawer, and grabbed a package wrapped in Christmas paper.
“Merry Christmas, Rayanna Louise Lynch,” he said as he handed me the gift.
I felt like such a loser. “But I didn’t get anything for you!”
“What? Are you kidding me? You gave me the most amazing hug in the world earlier today.” He reached out and squeezed my hand. “The best gift I’ll get, I promise you.”
“Can I wait?” I asked him. “To open it? Do you mind?”
“Whatever you want to do is fine with me. I hope you like it!”
“I’m sure I’ll love it, Spencer. Thank you. Really.”
I gave Mister a little scratch behind his ear, and then I walked outside into the darkness. I turned around and took in the brightly lit shop, twinkling like a brilliant star in the night sky. Spencer waved and I waved back. I felt like I might cry, which seemed ridiculous. I’d be away for twelve days, not twelve years.
I drove home thinking about the hundred dollars Nina had given me. It was our little secret, which meant Dean couldn’t get his hooks into any of it. It was all mine. I started spending it in my head. I’d get my mom a little something. She loved chocolate, so maybe a box of chocolates. In the next few days, I planned on stopping by to see Maddie and Ella. I thought about them a lot. So maybe I’d get them a little something too. The rest of the money I’d keep, to supplement the measly forty bucks Dean continued to give me every two weeks.
The lights were out and no one was home when I got there. There wasn’t a single sign of Christmas, except for the brightly wrapped gift Spencer had given me. I grabbed a maple bar from the box of doughnuts Mom had brought home the night before and went to my room. I stuck Spencer’s gift under my bed so Dean wouldn’t find it and open it, hoping it might be something valuable. At least I’d have one gift to open Christmas morning.
When I got on the laptop and opened my e-mail account, Leo had already sent the video. I opened the file and watched.
A black screen appeared. Next, soft music from an acoustic guitar and the words
IN SEARCH OF FUN
appeared. And then images, one after another. Squishy ground. Tangled branches. Swirling sky. Each image was lovelier than the last. Leo’s editing was flawless, and the music a perfect accompaniment. When our friend the squirrel took the screen, he took us to new heights, until suddenly, the squirrel and the music stopped simultaneously, and the squirrel stared right at the camera. And then, a giggle, my giggle, edited into the video in that moment, followed by the words
I THINK WE FOUND IT
against another black screen.
I hit replay, and watched it seven more times.
And then I e-mailed him back with this message:
Best. Video. Ever!
He replied a few seconds later.
In other words, brilliant?
gifts
I GOT UP EARLY ON THURSDAY MORNING AND DROVE TWENTY miles to the mall. Even at nine o’clock, the parking lot was packed. I could have gone to one of the stores in Crestfield, but I was hungry for some Christmas spirit, even if it was the crazy kind you find at the mall two days before Christmas.
I had no idea what I wanted to get, so I wandered around aimlessly for a couple of hours. At one point I stopped and listened to a children’s choir. A sign said they were called Inside Voices, and they were so cute. Talented, too. It was exactly the kind of spirit I’d been longing for. They sang all my favorites—“Joy to the World,” “Silent Night,” “Little Drummer Boy,” and “Oh, Come, All Ye Faithful.”
I bought three of their CDs. Along with the music, I walked out with a custom assortment of See’s Candies with all of Mom’s favorites, and a couple of gift bags and cards.
When I got back to Crestfield, I stopped at Maddie’s apartment first. She looked much better this time and the baby wasn’t crying.
“Hi,” I told her. “I don’t know if you remember me, but—”
“You delivered the flowers. And bought me some formula.” Her cheeks flushed a little. “Thanks again for that.”
“You’re welcome.”
She glanced at the bag I was holding. “Do you want to come in?”
She led me to the family room and we sat on the couch. A short and stubby Douglas fir tree stood in the corner of the room, decorated with red and green paper chains and some candy canes. It smelled good. Like Christmas. The baby slept in a baby swing next to the couch.
“I’m Rae, by the way. I don’t think I ever told you my name.” I turned to look more closely at the baby. He looked so peaceful, his little eyes closed and his tiny red lips set in a dreamy almost-smile. “How’s he doing?”
She grinned. “He’s doing great. His dad is living here now, so he helps with the night feedings sometimes. He got a job, too, after school. A janitor at the hospital.” She paused. “It’s a lot harder than I thought it’d be. Taking care of a baby, I mean.”
For some reason I thought of my mom. She’d been just a couple of years older than this girl when she’d taken care of me all by herself. My grandma probably helped sometimes,
but she didn’t live with us. My mom never talked about those days. Maybe she wanted to forget about them.
“Well, I came by to wish you a merry Christmas.” I handed her the gift bag.
Maddie reached in and pulled out the CD. She studied the list of songs. “I love Christmas music. Thank you.” Then she looked up at me. “But I don’t have anything—”
“No!” I said, holding my hands out as I stood up. “Please don’t feel bad. You didn’t know I was coming. I just, I don’t know, sometimes I wish I had a big family. And since I don’t . . . ”
“You’re buying gifts for random strangers?” she teased.
I laughed. “But you’re not a random stranger! I mean, I know your name, right? Know where you live. Know you have the most adorable baby boy in the world. That makes us practically friends.”
“Hey, do you want to stay for a while? I was about to roll out some dough and bake some sugar cookies. I’d love some help. It’ll be fun.”
I agreed to stay, so we went into the kitchen. While Maddie pulled out a bag of flour from the cupboard, she asked, “Are you a junior or a senior?”
“Junior.”
She reached into a drawer and got the rolling pin. “Do you live around here?”
“Not far,” I said. “I actually lived in these apartments once. A long time ago.”
“You did? Too bad you don’t live here now. We’d be neighbors.” She wiped down the counter, then sprinkled flour all over it. “It’s hard, being here alone with Eli most of the time. My friends don’t come around much anymore. I guess I understand. What are they going to do, ask me to go party with them and have me bring him along?”
I didn’t know what to say. As hard as my life was sometimes, hers was probably ten times harder.
“What about your parents? Are they . . . supportive?” She shook her head. “I’m sorry,” I said. “That’s got to be rough.”
“Do you get along with your mom?” she asked as she grabbed the bowl of cookie dough from the fridge.
I shrugged. “Some days we tolerate each other. Other days, not so much. We’re so different, you know?”
She set the bowl on the counter. “Yeah. I know exactly what you mean.”
I decided it was time to lighten the mood. “All right, let’s get this cookie party started!”
Maddie held up two cookie cutters. “Which one do you want? Santa or the lobster?”
“A Christmas lobster? I must have missed that television special when I was a kid.”
She laughed. “My aunt, who lives in Maine and has a weird sense of humor, sent it to me one year for my birthday. Sorry, but these are the only two I have.”
I took the lobster from her. “It’s actually perfect, because
I’ve heard Santa
loves
lobster. Every year he asks Mrs. Claus to make a lobster dinner before he flies around the world. You’ve never heard that?”
“No. I thought Santa lived on fudge and sugar cookies.”
Now I laughed. “Just think, if we combine his favorites, lobster and cookies, he’ll be thrilled when he finds them Christmas Eve. He’ll probably give us a spectacular gift, like a diamond necklace or a sports car.”
She pretended to look shocked. “How did you get ahold of my Christmas list, Rae?”
• • •
After a fun afternoon, I left Maddie’s with a plate of cookies and drove to Ella’s. Her new place was nice. An old man in a wheelchair sat by the doors, looking outside. I smiled at him as I walked toward the front desk. A young woman with short hair greeted me. “Can I help you?”
“Yes,” I said, looking behind her, at a bulletin board full of pictures showing the residents participating in activities like aerobics, music, and bingo. I hoped Ella was joining in and having fun. “I’m a friend of Ella’s. She moved in a week or so ago? Could I have her room number, please?”
“Yes. She’s in room two forty-two. Take the elevator to the second floor, and it’s down at the end of the hall.”
I thanked her and proceeded to Ella’s room. I knocked softly on her door. She answered almost right away.
“Rae! What a nice surprise.”
Behind her I could see the studio apartment that now served as her home. A twin bed was in the far corner, and in the middle of the room, her two La-Z-Boys and a television. Along the nearest wall, just past the door, which I assumed led to the bathroom, was a short counter with a couple of cupboards and a microwave. I couldn’t help but wonder if it had felt a little claustrophobic to her at first. And what about all of Ella’s books? Where’d they go?