False Illusions (False #1) (11 page)

I didn’t let the tears fall until I was in the back seat of the dark cab. I felt stupid and used. The driver smartly didn’t ask any questions other than where I was going.

My phone vibrated and Yoel’s name flashed on the screen, disgust rolled in my stomach. Turning my phone off I stare out the window watching the buildings and lights pass me by. People walking the Strip drinking and laugh as my world falls apart.

I mindlessly pay the driver and make my way to our apartment. I was now thankful that Marcus stayed behind; I didn’t want him to see me like this.

Stepping out of my heels and throwing my clutch on the bed I run a bath as I grab a bottle of vodka. Fuck a glass, I won’t need one for this kind of pity party.

I wash my face off before sinking it the hot water, bottle in hand. My eyes are burning from my tears and I’m sure I looked like a red puffball. Taking a big gulp of vodka I wince as I swallow the burn. I just wanted to forget. Forget I ever met the Dominican boxer that stole my heart, that made me question my life. Bastard.

I was a fucking mission in his fucked up head. I didn’t know whether to be heartbroken, betrayed, or just pissed. I decided to be all three for the next hour sitting in a now cold tub. I cried and screamed while gulping down vodka.

I barely got my robe on before falling on the couch. Taking a deep drunken breath I turn my phone back on. I had several missed text messages and voicemails, all from Yoel ranging from ‘Are you okay?’ ‘Please call me back, I’m worried’ ‘Where are you baby doll’. I refused to reply.

Marcus had sent one text.

Don’t wait up.

Dragging my laptop on my lap I go to the emails I have been staring at for the past week.

Taking a gulp of liquor for courage, I hit reply.

Something-Drake

I have been going out of my mind since watching Madison leave with tears in her eyes. Something felt off, I feel in my gut something is wrong. She was fine in the restroom, she said she would come by later, but all my calls are going to straight to voicemail and my texts have gone unanswered.

Marcus left with the flirty reporter about thirty minutes ago so I knew he wasn’t going home tonight.

I try to call her again, this time the phone rings and I’m hopeful until it goes to voicemail. Again.

I rack my mind, trying to figure out what the hell happened between our kisses and when she ran out of here. She wouldn’t even look at me.

“Hey, you ready to get out of here?” Chris asks finishing his beer.

No point in sticking around. “Yeah.”

After putting Carla in a cab we grab another one for us.  I’m quiet and Chris knows me well enough to leave me alone.

I’m tempted to text Madison again, but I don’t want to make whatever is going on worse. Maybe I’m overthinking all of this and she could be on her way to see me at this moment or maybe she fell asleep and is waiting for me in my room. It wouldn’t be the first time that’s happened.

Relax. I tell myself, but even as we wait for the elevator something tells me she won’t be there and she won’t be coming.

“El, I know why your quiet.” Chris starts. “Look, I saw Rico talking to her at the bar and that’s when she ran off.”

I snap my head up to look at him. “What?” I grit out.

He takes a slow breath and shakes his head. “Fuck. I think he told her, El. Come on, think about it. She ran out like someone was after her.”

I think back to her glossy grey eyes and how she could barely look at me. She damn near begged Marcus to take her home. I wanted to reach out to her, fuck, I wanted to run after to her but I was stuck there.

Instead of pressing the penthouse button I hit the floor below it. I needed to know what was said.

Anger rushes through me as I stalk down the hallway, Chris right behind me.

“Calm down, El.” He tries to keep up, but I’m pissed. If Rico told her the truth I don’t know what I might do.

Bang. Bang. Bang.

It takes only a minute for the door to swing open and immediately I have Rico by his throat against the wall. Chris quickly closes the door.

“Shit, El.” He tries to pull me off.

I ignore him and glare at Rico. “What the fuck did you say to her?” I demand.

Rico is struggling to get me off him but I’m stronger. I tighten my grip.

“I said what the fuck did you tell her?” This time I say it slowly.

“Well he can’t reply if you’re cutting off his air supply,” Chris says dryly leaning against the wall.

I give one good push before letting him drop to floor gasping for air.

“What the fuck,” Rico struggles to breathe.

I squat to eye level with him. “Don’t fuck with me, Rico. What did you say to Madison at the bar.”

He stares at me like I’m crazy, but once he realizes I was getting impatient he starts scooting towards the wall.

“I told her the truth. You have been losing focus!” he blurts out. “I need you focused!”

I’m about to grab him again when Chris pulls me up and away from Rico.

I struggle against him, but he doesn’t let up.

“Who the fuck are you to say shit. I fucking pay you,” I snap at him. “You didn’t have the right to tell her shit.”

Rico stands himself up, straightening his shirt. “I did you a favor, El. She’s fucking engaged, do you think she’ll leave everything for you?” He laughs. “You’re not from her world. Do not forget it. Attacking your own blood over her.”

Chris pulls me back again. “It’s not even worth it, El.”

I stare at my uncle for a moment before I shake my head. “You’re not fucking worth it. Pack your shit, you’re fired.”

I turn and walk out before he can say anything. How could he do that when he knew what she meant to me? Did he have a point? Was I actually expecting her to leave everything for me?

I refrain from slamming my fist into the elevator door. When the doors to my room open I’m greeted to a cold feeling. Madison knows the truth and I knew what would happen, she hated me. I can’t get the memory from tonight of her blinking away tears. Tears that my selfishness caused.

It breaks me knowing she’s somewhere alone crying and I’m not there to hold her, tell how sorry I am and that I’m in love with her.

Yes. I fucking love her.

I just need to prove it.

Love Yourself- Justin Bieber

I play with my engagement ring, twirling it at the tips of my fingers. I loved this ring. I picked it out myself. I remember the bullshit proposal Marcus did in front of my family and half of LA. I remember faking my happiness and surprise. I remember everything.

After waking up this morning from the hangover of all hangovers I downed a cup of coffee and two Tylenols. Last night plays over in my head making my heart ache. I was tired of being played, tired of being unhappy. It was time to live for me and no one else.

Dropping the ring next to the note I wrote for Marcus, who didn’t come home at all last night, I grab the handle of my suitcase and slide on my carry-on on my shoulder. I spent the morning packing all my things in boxes that I had the doorman ship out not to long ago. 

Taking one more look out the large living room window, I take a deep breath and walk out the door, leaving my keys on the entryway table.

Chelsea was downstairs standing by her car. I called her early this morning with my new plans. I gave her a choked up run down on last night and my drunken pity party. I told her that I’m finally chasing my dreams. As happy as she was for me she was sad to see me leave, but she knew this what I needed to do.

I haven’t turned my phone back on since I turned it off when I woke up. Yoel has called me almost at every hour on the hour. I wasn’t ready to take his calls. I’m not sure I ever will be.

I had been played. I fell in love with him, just to find out he was just using me.

But it felt so real
.

I shake my head, clearing my thoughts as I throw my bags in her trunk.

“I can’t believe you’re actually doing it,” Chelsea says pulling onto the Strip.

“I know.” I couldn’t believe I was doing it either, but during my drinking fest last night I replied to a job offer and bought a one-way ticket to a new city. This morning I lucked out and my realtor found me a great rental.

“What did Marcus say when he saw your shit packed. I would have loved to see his face.”

“He doesn’t know I’m gone. He didn’t come home last night so I left a note along with the ring.”

She gasps. “Badass. I’m sure he’ll call me.” She purses her lips.

I’m sure he will call her, right after he calls my parents. That’s the conversation I can’t wait to have.

“So have you talked to you know who?” she asks softly.

I know who ‘you know who’ is. I can feel the tears forming just thinking of him again.

I shake my head and stare out the window for the rest of the drive.

Being the best friend she is she walks me to the security line after we check-in my suitcase. Tears are going and we’re hugging each other tight.

“I’m going to miss you so much.” She wipes her eyes.

I do the same and smile. “You’ll have to come and visit me.”

“Deal.”

It didn’t feel real until I was seated in my first class seat looking out the window to the runway. I was leaving. I was chasing my dreams just like Yoel wanted for me, or claim to want for me. This was happening.

It was time to make me happy and stop trying to make everyone else happy.

I had to take care of me now.

This view of Central Park was amazing. I’m not sure how my realtor snagged this last minute, but I was forever thankful. I wasn’t due to start my position at The New Yorker for another week, but I wanted to settle in first and learn my way around. New York is a lot crazier than Los Angeles and Vegas. 

My apartment is amazing, I feel like I’m Sex in the City. I was happy to find out it was furnished beautifully.

I curl up on the couch with the Thai takeout I ordered and a bottle of wine I bought at the little store down the street. Turning my phone on I decided it was time to face the music.

Five voicemails and thirty texts are popping on the screen. I frown. Damn.