Fighting Temptation (Men Of Honor) (40 page)

Oh mother fucker, that hurt.

The bastard next to me sends a blow to my spine, making my legs give out from underneath me.

I grind my teeth and try to breathe through the pain. “Get up!” the asshole yanks me back to my feet, “now answer Allah.”

Allah? The dickhead named himself God?

I shake my head and answer, “No.”

Allah laughs, “No? There’s nothing that would make you kill this man in front of you? Nothing? What if it was to save this woman here? His woman?”

I shake my head again.

“Give him the knife,” Allah orders Akram. Faith whimpers. Akram stands behind me and hands me a dagger.

Sawyer’s right, they’re fucking idiots
.

“Now don’t go getting too excited and fill that head of yours with any ideas,” Allah pulls a knife and holds it to Faith’s throat. “Now, let’s just see how loyal and honorable you are. I want you to end this so-called broken soldier’s life. If you don’t we will fuck this beautiful woman again, but in front of you, all of you. And we will make you all watch her beg until the exact moment I end her life.”

“No!” Faith sobs hysterically.

“Shut up bitch!” Faith takes another backhand to the face.

Cade’s jaw clenches. Fury like I’ve never seen rages in his eyes. “Do it! Just fucking do it!” Cade seethes through clenched teeth.

Wait, not yet.

“No! No, don’t. Please don’t hurt him. I don’t care what they do to me. Don’t hurt him!” Faith screams through her sobs.

Allah laughs, “He is even telling you it’s okay. You must choose soldier: this bitch’s dignity or your honor to your brother?”

I raise the knife over my head, the blade pointing down at Cade. He stares into my gaze, nodding his head.

Not yet, wait for it.

“No! Stop, oh god, please don’t!” Faith pleads again.

“Bitch, if you don’t shut the…”

Now.

It happened so fast, catching everyone off guard, My dagger going right in the center of Allah’s forehead. The knife he was holding to Faith’s neck goes slack and falls from his hand. Before the sons of bitches have time to react, Cade and I are on them. As soon as the dagger left my hands, I turned around and grabbed the bastard behind me. My chains going around his throat, pulling tight. I briefly see Cade taking down the guy who was holding him.

Grabbing the keys from the one I just strangled, I run to Sawyer. I hear Faith scream and Cade’s roar behind me.
Shit!
Quickly freeing myself and Sawyer I turn around to see who else I need take down and see nothing but a fucking blood bath.

Ho-ly fuck!
Every single man that was in here is massacred. Most of their insides lie on the cold cement floor, including Allah who I had already killed with the dagger. Cade is holding a hysterical Faith in his arms while she kisses him and hides her face in his neck.

Irina comes running in and sees the mess. She doesn’t bat an eye at the gory scene, “This way.”

“Wait!” I yell stopping her in her tracks, “The girl, Anna, where is she?”

“You don’t have time. There are 2 other guards who are going to come in here any…”

I grab her arm and yank her to me, “Listen bitch, I’m not leaving here without her, so tell me where the fuck she is.”

She points, “Down that hall and to the left, then it’s the 3rd door on your right. You will not make it out of here in time if you do this.”

I look to Sawyer and Cade, “Go! You guys get Faith out of here. I’ll go get Anna and meet up with you.”

“I’m not fucking leaving you,” Sawyer says.

“I’ll be fine,” I say holding up the two guns I grabbed from the floor. I throw one to Sawyer, “You cover Cade so he can focus on getting Faith out. I swear I’ll be right behind you guys.”

Then I’m running, faster than I thought possible in my condition. My thoughts only on Anna now.

God please let me make it in time.
Within less than a minute I’m at the end of the hall turning left and then I hear her: screaming, crying and begging for it to stop.

“Fuck!”

I make it to the third door, her screaming getting louder. “Anna!” Twisting the knob to find it’s locked I back up and kick the fucking thing in. What I see will forever be ingrained into my head. Some dirty mother-fucker on top of her, raping her.

I was too late.

He turns around making eye contact with me, “Wait your turn asshole.”

A white hot fury fuels a rage so deep inside me, it coils around every part of my body like a snake and I completely lose control. A loud roar fills the air before I make the connection that it’s my own. I pull the son of a bitch off her and start landing blow after blow to his face. I think about every other little girl he has probably done this to and beat him harder and faster until my arms start to give out.

“Ja, Jaxson?”

Anna’s panicked voice snaps me out of my rage, and I quickly realize I’m beating a dead guy.

I drop him to the floor and turn around; Anna is huddled in the corner of the bed, a bloody sheet pulled around her naked body. Her face swollen and bruised, tears mixing with blood down her face. Her innocence stolen. I swallow past the lump in my throat and push aside my emotions, getting my ass in gear.

I look around the room, “Where are your clothes?”

She cries harder, “They took them from me. I don’t have any.”

“Can you walk?” I ask her.

“I don’t think so. The fat guy hit my ankle with the baton, I think it’s broken.”

I clench my jaw so tight, I’m surprised it didn’t snap. “Alright, it’s going to be okay.” I look around again and spot another gun, clearly the customer’s. I pick it up and make my way over to Anna, “Let’s go, we’re getting out of here kid.”

She starts crying and launches herself at me, keeping the sheet around her. “Thank you, thank you so much for not leaving without me.”

My heart clenches in my chest, I feel like a dick because I pull her back, knowing we don’t have time. “Tie the sheet around you, I’m going to carry you out.” I hand her a gun and she takes it with no questions. “Have you shot one before?” She shakes her head. “Okay Safety is off, you’re going to have to wrap your legs around my waist for me to carry you out. It’s the only way I can cover what’s in front of me. I need you to point this gun behind us. If you see anyone you aim and pull the trigger. Do you understand?”

She’s shaking and crying but nods her head and does what I ask. “Wait!” she yells, stopping me from lifting her. She unwraps her arms from around my neck, reaches under her pillow and pulls out my mother-fucking pendant.

“I got it back from that guy. I saw it hanging out of his pocket when he was dragging me so I grabbed it. He thought I was trying to get keys, that’s why he hit me with the baton.” I shake my head, emotion clogging my throat, my chest clenching so tight that I have a hard time breathing. She wraps it in her fist and wounds her arms again around my neck. “Okay, I’m ready.”

I wrap my arms around her and hug her before I pick her up, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” she whispers into my neck.

I pick her up and we get the fuck out of there. I start running the way Irina told me. My limbs feeling heavy, the strain of my broken body fighting against me. I clench my teeth and push through it. I will not stop now.

Suddenly Anna’s scream fills my ear, instinct has me turning around and pulling the trigger. A guard drops, the bullet hitting him in the head.

I turn back around and push myself harder, faster.

“I’m sorry,” Anna says crying, “I froze.”

I don’t answer back not wanting to waste any energy I have left. Finally I hit the side door and push through it into the night. I try to train my eyes in the darkness.

“Jaxson, straight ahead,” Sawyer yells from a distance.

I run, trying to keep a steady pace, my lungs burn and my broken limbs try slowing me down. Out of nowhere Irina comes running up to me, “Over here you have to… “

THWACK!

Irina falls right in front of me, a bullet hitting her in the chest.

“Fuck!” I drop to the ground on top of Anna, not knowing what direction the bullet came from.

“Shit!” Sawyer comes running over, his gun shooting wildly over top of me.

He leans down to pick up Irina, “Leave me,” she chokes out.

“No!” Sawyer picks her up, “Come on man, we have no choice we have to make a run for it. I think I hit the fucker.”

Somehow I find the strength to get Anna and I both up. I run with heavy limbs and soon come up to bush. Just before I enter it another shot goes off…

“FUCK!” I shoot up in bed, my body covered in a cold sweat, my heart pounding wildly.

“Jax?” Julia says softly sitting up beside me, her hand going to my shoulder.

I throw her off, “I’m fine. I just need a fucking minute.”

Getting up I head to the bathroom.

I jump when the bathroom door slams, hurting that he’s shutting me out again. I lay back down and let out a heavy breath, this nightmare was by far the worst one yet.

Do I go to him?

I get pulled from my inner torment when I hear the shower turn on. Glancing at the bedside clock I see it’s only 4 am.
That’s it
. I throw the covers off me. All I can do is try, if he shuts me out then I’ll try again next time.

Walking into the bathroom I close the door behind me and watch Jaxson through the glass shower door. His hands are braced on the wall in front of him, his head hanging low in defeat under the pounding stream of hot water. My trepidation vanishes when I see how much he’s hurting. I pull his shirt from my body and take off my panties. Opening the shower door I step in behind him. Hot steam enveloping me as soon as I enter. I know he’s been aware of me in here the whole time but he still tenses when I wrap my arms around him. I ignore it and kiss his back, his scars, the angel.

“Not a good idea Julia. I don’t have a lot of control right now.” The pain that laces his words has me coming around to stand in front of him. He keeps his head down under the spray, avoiding my gaze.

“Look at me Jaxson,” I say softly.

He shakes his head. I step in closer and grab his face with both of my hands forcing him to look at me. And what I see shatters my heart: despair, guilt and most of all, self-hatred. His eyes are brimmed red with tears that desperately want to be shed but he won’t allow them.

“Oh Jaxson baby, talk to me. Don’t shut me out.”

His pain becomes my own but I hold in my tears to be strong for him. Stepping closer so I’m right under him, I stare up into his face that I cradle in my hands. Water drips from his dark hair and thick lashes, falling onto my face. His guilt and despair lay heavy in the humid air.

“It’s me Jax, let me in, let me help you.”

He clenches his jaw, “I tried to get to her in time. I tried so fucking hard. But I didn’t make it, I was too late.”

Oh no.

Every word is through clenched teeth as he tries to hold his pain in. My heart aches so bad that I have a hard time taking a breath.

Be strong Julia he needs you now.

“Who baby? Cade’s girl?”

He shakes his head, “Anna,” he chokes out, as if I should know who this person is, “fuck Julia, she was only 14.”

Oh God!

I swallow past the bile that tries to choke me, “Did she die?”

He shakes his head again, “No, but they took her innocence, they robbed her of something she will never get back. I almost made it in time, if I could have gotten there ten minutes sooner I would have made it… Fuck!” he breathes out the curse through his still-clenched teeth. His chest heaves rapidly from holding in the pain that desperately needs to be let out.

“Jaxson. Cry. It’s okay to cry. You’re hurting yourself by keeping it in.”

He looks panicked as I say this, he squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head frantically and I know I’m about to lose him.

“Did you get her out in the end?” I ask, hoping to pull him from his panic.

When he opens his eyes they’re flat, with less emotion raging in them.
Damn!
He nods his head once in response.

“Then that’s what matters. I know I don’t know the whole story and I probably couldn’t even begin to understand it if I tried. But Jaxson you need to understand, you’re only human. You can’t control other people’s actions. You did the best you could and in the end it turned out to be enough because you saved her life.” He shakes his head, not believing me. “Yes. You have to work through this or it’s going to kill you.”

He hangs his head again in despair. I wrap my arms around his body, my breasts pressing against his hard chest. I hold him close and give him all the comfort I can. I kiss his chest right over his heart while the hot water pours down on us, catching the rivulets that run down his body with my tongue. His cock swells against my stomach and his arms come around me, holding me tight.

“I need you,” he rasps in my ear, “I need you to remind me of the good.”

He picks me up by my ass then turns around and pins me against the wall. He stays still for a moment and we watch each other through the steam that billows heavy around us. It’s as if we are in our own world and no one else can enter it but us.