Fighting Temptation (Men Of Honor) (8 page)

Both men are extremely attractive. Sawyer reminds me a little of a surfer with his shaggy dirty blond hair, green eyes and tanned skin. I realize he’s the one Jaxson was laughing with when they sat down. Where Jaxson and Sawyer are long and lean, Cade is a little bigger, more muscular, but they’re all close in height. His hair is a little shorter and much darker. He looks like he has some Mexican heritage in him with his dark skin color and hazel eyes. I can tell he has a past, his eyes have the same haunted look in them that Jaxson gets sometimes.

“Hi, it’s very nice to meet y’all,” I wave shyly.

Cade just nods whereas Sawyer grabs my hand, “Believe me Jules, the pleasure is mine.” I look at him in shock when he calls me Jules. He’s about to kiss my hand when Jaxson slaps him upside the head and rips my hand from his, glaring at him. Sawyer laughs, “What? I’m just trying to be nice to your Jules.”

I look at Jaxson raising my eyebrow, “Your Jules?”

“Shut up Evans. Never mind, he’s being an idiot.”

Chuckling, Sawyer asks: “We still hitting O’Rileys tonight to celebrate?”

Jaxson looks at me questioningly, “How long are you here for?”

“I leave tomorrow morning.”

Before I can say more he turns to Sawyer, “No, I’m out.”

“No Jaxson, it’s ok, don’t worry about me. Go ahead and celebrate, really.” Of course I’m only being half truthful, I really want to spend time with him, but he deserves to celebrate with his friends.

“No I’m staying with you,” his tone brooks no further argument.

“Why don’t you just bring Julia man? Come on, obviously now that she’s here we expect you to bring her.” Jaxson shakes his head. “What’s wrong? Worried one of us sexier Seals are gonna steal her away?” Sawyer asks smugly.

I can’t help the small giggle that escapes. I don’t know why Sawyer seems to think Jaxson feels more for me than a friend. If he only knew the truth…

“We can go for a bit if you want. I don’t mind,” I say truthfully. As long as I’m with him I don’t care what we do.

“Fine, we’ll go for a bit.”

Sawyer claps him on the back, “That’s what I’m talking about. See ya in an hour?”

Jaxson agrees, then we’re by ourselves again.

“You sure about this Jules?”

“Yes really, it’s fine.”

“Ok we’ll only go for a bit, then we’ll catch up, just the two us.”

“Perfect,” I can’t stop the big smile that takes over my face especially when he grins back.

We walk into O’Rileys almost an hour later. Sawyer waves us over to a table filled with guys, some with girls on their laps. I start to feel nervous, I’m pretty shy around new people. Jaxson guides me towards the table with his hand on my lower back and I shiver from his touch.

“You cold?”

Oh boy, how humiliating. This is going to be a long night if I don’t get a hold of myself. I shake my head, too embarrassed to speak.

“Well hi again Julia!” Sawyer says slinging an arm over me when I sit beside him, of course Jaxson quickly throws it off.

“Knock it off Evans. I mean it, you’re pissing me off!”

Most people would have been intimidated by Jaxson but not Sawyer, he just seems amused. I can tell he likes bugging him. If he only knew Jaxson wasn’t jealous, just protective, I’m sure he’d stop. I wish it was because of jealousy.

“Whatcha drinking tonight Julia?” Sawyer asks.

“Um,” I pretended to think about it but I really don’t want to drink.

“Don’t worry about it, I’m getting it for her,” Jaxson says getting up to order our drinks. Sawyer goes around the table introducing me to everyone. The girls aren’t friendly at all, but I realize they aren’t girlfriends they’re just hitting on some of the guys, so I don’t let it bother me. All the guys seem nice and they’re all extremely attractive. Sheesh! What the hell is in the water here?

I look over at Cade, staring at his drink with his typical hard expression. “Hi again Cade,” I say softly. I worry he didn’t hear me but then his head jerks up in surprise. Is he surprised that I acknowledged him? Does everyone just ignore him? That thought makes my heart squeeze.

His expression softens a bit, “Hi Julia.”

I give him a big smile, appreciating I got words this time and not just a nod. He stares at me confused, as if trying to figure something out.

Jaxson comes back with our drinks and when I take a sip I realize it’s only soda. I smile at him showing my appreciation when he gives me a wink.

Conversation flows well and as the night goes on I start feeling more relaxed. I get a lot of glares from the girls every time one of the guys asks me a question but I just ignore them and am as nice as I can be about it. Lots of the guys were ribbing Jaxson on his special recognition, which pissed him off, but I knew it was because he was uncomfortable about it. I tried not to laugh but a few giggles slipped out here and there which, in return, just moved his glare in my direction. When he gets up to use the bathroom Sawyer leans over to me.

“So what is it with you two?” he asks nodding over in Jaxson’s direction.

I look at him curiously, “What do you mean?”

“I’m trying to figure you guys out. Are you friends or more? I’ve tried asking Jaxson but he’s closed mouth when it comes to you.”

I shift in my seat feeling uncomfortable. “There’s nothing to figure out, we’re just friends. Actually he’s my best friend,” I say the last part softly.

“I didn’t know best friends carry pictures of each other with them,” he says with a smirk. At first I wonder why he thinks I have a picture of Jaxson when I realize he’s talking about Jaxson.

“Jaxson has a picture of me?” I ask in surprise.

“You didn’t know? I thought you gave it to him.” Now it was Sawyer’s turn to be surprised. “Unbelievable,” he says chuckling, shaking his head.

“Leave her alone man and shut up.” Sawyer snaps his gaze to Cade looking shocked by his little outburst.

“What? I’m just asking about the picture. You’re my best friend and I don’t carry a picture of you,” Sawyer jokes, but shuts up fast when Jaxson returns.

I look back at Cade giving him a kind smile, to thank him for sticking up for me, even though he didn’t need to. I know Sawyer didn’t mean anything bad by asking and was just curious. Heck, I’m curious now about this picture. I wonder what picture it is?

I’m brought out of my thoughts when Jaxson leans in close to me: “You wanna get going soon?”

“Sure,” I say easily, acting as if I don’t care either way. When I actually want to say ‘hell yes’.

“I didn’t even ask, what hotel are you staying at?”

“At the Delta. It was just a few minute cab ride from the base.”

Jaxson nods, “I know which one.”

We are just about to say goodbye when I see a girl stumbling towards us. Clearly she’s had too much to drink and her dress leaves nothing to the imagination; it makes me wonder why she even bothered with clothes at all. I quickly realize she’s walking up to Jaxson. I feel him tense when she runs her finger along his arm.

“Hi Jaxson baby, I didn’t know you were going to be here tonight. Lucky me.”

I immediately stiffen and feel like I’ve been slapped. I know I shouldn’t, but I do.

Jaxson quickly stands, pulling me with him.

“Kat. We were just leaving,” he says easily, when I know he’s feeling anything but.

We turn to say goodbye to the group when she yells: “Who the fuck is this whore?”

I whip my head and glare at her. Who is she to call me a whore? I hear the other girls at the table laugh then both Sawyer and Cade tell them to shut up. Before I can say anything to stand up for myself Jaxson steps in front of me, getting in her face.

“Back the fuck off Kat! You don’t know anything about her. You gotta problem with me fine, but you fucking leave her out of it,” his voice is low and dangerous. I can tell she’s scared by the big swallow she takes.

“I’m sorry Jax, I’ve just missed you. I was hoping you would come home with me tonight.”

Did she just call him Jax? That’s it, now I’m pissed. I’m mad that I’m caught up in this embarrassing scene and everyone is staring. I’m mad that she called him Jax because no one calls him that but me. I’m mad that I’m jealous and most of all I’m mad that Jaxson is nothing but a big man-whore.

I turn to the table of guys: “Well it’s been fun, nice meeting y’all and good luck with your new career,” then I quickly get the hell out of there.

As soon as I make it outside I breathe in the fresh air and try to calm my pounding heart. When Jaxson comes bolting out the door I quickly pick a direction and start walking as fast as I can.

“Julia wait!”

I keep my pace, ignoring him.

“Goddammit Julia. Get your sweet little ass back here.”

Oh, if he thinks by calling my ass sweet that I’m gonna come strolling back he’s got another thing coming.

When he catches up to me he grabs my arm and swings me around to face him, “Where the hell are you going?”

I rip my arm out of his grip: “To my hotel!” I snap and start walking again.

“You’re not even going the right way dammit!”

Darn!
I stop and turn back around then start walking in the opposite direction.

“Why the hell are you mad at me?”

He’s so oblivious it makes me wanna hit him. Instead I stop and turn on him fast, “Did you screw her?”
Ugh, why did I have to say that
. I put my hand up at his stunned expression: “Never mind, don’t answer that. I already know the answer because you’re a stupid man-whore! I’m glad to see how easy it’s been for you to start a new life.” I know that isn’t fair to say and I’m acting ridiculous but I can’t seem to stop.

“What the fuck does that mean!?”

“It means that all of you have moved on but me. For the longest time it was always the 4 of us: Kayla and Cooper, you and I. Kayla still has Cooper. You move here and make new friends and a new life so easily. I just had it thrown in my face that what happened between us 6 months ago means nothing to you. While back home I can’t move on because I can’t stop thinking about you and missing you. I know it’s not your fault that you don’t care for me the same way I care for you but it still hurts dammit!” I can’t stop the small sob that breaks free.

“God Julia,” Jaxson pulls me roughly against him, wrapping me in his arms. “I’m sorry, but you’re wrong. Yes I’ve moved on in some ways but don’t think for one second that I’ve moved on from you. I think about you every goddamn day. That night, with you on the beach, fucking haunts me and that bitch means nothing to me just like the rest of them. I know you don’t understand that but it’s the truth.”

“She called you Jax,” I whisper tearfully in his chest.

“What?”

“I said she called you Jax? What’s with that? Only I call you that.” I know I sound immature but it really bothers me.

“I didn’t even notice; she’s someone I went home with months ago when I was drunker than shit and she hasn’t left me alone since. You know I don’t repeat women. She means absolutely nothing to me and she knows now to stay the fuck away from me.”

“I’m so humiliated.” I’m wondering what most of them think about me. I know I shouldn’t care but I can’t help it. I’ve always cared what people think about me.

“I know, I’m sorry, but the only one who should be embarrassed is her, not you Julia.” It feels so good to be held by him that it’s hard to stay mad.

“I’m sorry I called you stupid Jaxson. You’re not stupid, you’re the smartest person I know. And I’m sorry I called you a man-whore, even if you are, I shouldn’t have said it. I was just jealous,” I say crying into his chest again.

Chuckling he rubs his hands up and down my arms, “It’s ok Jules. Believe me you have nothing to feel jealous about, no one will ever mean more to me than you.”

I wish he meant it the way I want him to but I know he doesn’t.

“I knew you liked me more than Cooper,” I say, hoping to lighten the mood.

He grunts, “Believe me Jules, what I feel for you is completely different than what I feel for Coop.”

Before I have a chance to think about that he puts his arm around me and kisses my forehead, “Come on, let’s get the hell out of here.”

We arrive at my hotel 15 minutes later. I go into the bathroom to freshen up and wash my tear-streaked face. I look terrible. I’m exhausted from the flight and the emotional roller coaster that came from seeing Jaxson after six months. I’m still a little upset about what happened at the bar but I know I don’t have a right to be angry with Jaxson. I decide to put it aside and enjoy the rest of our time together. I wish I was staying longer, I’m not ready to leave him in the morning and I’m hoping he’ll stay the night. My heart races at the thought but I tamp it down.

Just friends Julia, just friends
, I repeat the mantra to myself. Hopefully one day my heart will start believing it too.

I change into my typical shorts and tank that I sleep in. When I walk out I turn off the main light but keep the lamp on, leaving a soft glow in the room, hoping to mask some of my exhaustion. When I look up, Jaxson is pacing, looking edgy.

“What’s wrong?”

His head snaps up and he sucks in a breath when he sees me, “Why aren’t you wearing any clothes?”