Fighting Temptation (Men Of Honor) (4 page)

My long chestnut brown hair falls in loose waves since I went against straightening it. Kayla says people pay big bucks to get loose waves like this so I should appreciate it more. Kayla did my make up tonight and made my aquamarine eyes really stand out with the smoky eye shadow she did. Her mascara makes my eyelashes twice as long and they already weren’t lacking in that department. Mama always used to tell me she loved my eyes, she said they reminded her of the Caribbean Sea.

Grams tells me all the time I look like mama, but I wouldn’t go that far. We do have some similarities but I don’t even come close. I have yet to see anyone as beautiful as my mother. Thinking about this makes me smile and remember the night I fell completely in love with Jaxson.

It was almost a year after we had met. I always had a little crush on Jaxson because he was so darn sexy. The more I got to know him I realized there was so much more to him then he let people see. We were at our usual spot on the beach where I would sneak out at night and meet up with him, just to hang out and talk. We would do this often and sometimes stay until sunrise. We were lying side by side staring up at the stars and out of the blue he asked if I was happy living in Sunset Bay…

“Ya, I guess I am. I think it’s a great town, I just wish the circumstances of what brought me here were different,” I say sadly.

“You’ve never mentioned your dad before. Tell me to mind my own damn business if you want, but I’m curious why you aren’t living with him?”

I get a little uncomfortable when I say, “That’s because I don’t know who my father is,” before he gets the wrong idea I rush to explain, “it isn’t because my mom slept around and doesn’t know who he is. To make a long story short, my mother fell in love with my father in college and got pregnant. He didn’t feel the same way and didn’t want a kid. He told her if she didn’t get rid of me he would leave. When she didn’t, that’s exactly what he did. She said if I ever wanted to know anything about him I could ask but to be honest I never thought too much about not having a father. My mother was everything I needed. She never dated, so I didn’t have any male figures while growing up. My pappi died before I was even born.

There were a few times I wondered if I was missing out, like when I was young, living in our old house. We lived in a pretty nice neighborhood, nothing big and fancy but peaceful and kid friendly. There was a girl close to my age that lived next door. She had this big tree in her front yard and her dad put a wooden swing on it for her. He would push her on it every night after supper, they would laugh and she would beg him to go higher. I’d watch them sometimes out my window and I’d wonder what that felt like. But I wouldn’t let myself dwell on it because I knew no one had a mom out there like I did.”

I turn to him with a soft smile and I’m caught off guard when I see him staring at me so intensely. I’m about to ask him what he’s thinking but then he looks away and says, “Well trust me when I say, sometimes it’s better not knowing your father than knowing him.” I see a quick flash of pain in his eyes before he hides it.

“Will you tell me about your mom?” his question catches me off guard. It was the first time he’s asked about her. We have become close and he knows she had died from cancer but other than that I never brought it up because it hurt too much to talk about her. But I was feeling stronger lately so looking back up at the stars I let out a breath and say: “She was beautiful Jax, not just on the outside, but the inside too. She was so graceful and sweet, she never judged anyone. She was the kindest and most forgiving woman you would ever meet. Sometimes I think God took her because he needed her as one of his angels.” I sense him staring at me again and I let out a frustrated moan, “I’m not making any sense, am I? I’m trying to describe just how amazing she was and no matter what I say you will never fully understand how beautiful she was.”

As a tear slips free, Jaxson leans over wiping it away with his thumb affectionately. “Actually I know exactly what you’re saying, she sounds just like you.”

Something shifted in me at his words, something monumental, and I soon realize it’s me giving Jaxson my entire heart.

I shake my head giving him a sad smile, “I’d give anything to be half the person my mom was.”

“Believe me Jules, you measure up, more than you will ever know.”

His gaze makes me feel breathless and I thought he was going to kiss me, I prayed for it. Instead he broke the moment by lying down, looking back up at the sky.

I get pulled back to the present by hearing Kayla rant about Cooper.

“I still can’t believe that fucker kept this from me. He said he knew I would have told you. Can you believe that?”

“Well, would you have?”

“Of course I would’ve!” she states as if I just asked the dumbest question in the world.

I chuckle, “Than why are you so mad at him?”

“Because he is supposed to tell me everything anyway, that’s why,” she says, as if the answer is so obvious. “I told him he is not getting a piece of ass for at least a week. Although I may have to take that back, it has been 2 days and I might die if I don’t get him naked soon,” she wiggles her eyebrows at me and we both giggle.

Kayla and Cooper are adorable, they are the all-American couple. Kayla with her long blonde hair, dark blue eyes and a body that girls only could dream to have. And Cooper, well… let’s just say that other than Jaxson, Cooper is the next sexiest guy I have ever laid eyes on. He has warm green eyes and keeps his brown hair short and neat. He’s built much the same as Jaxson, long and lean, an athlete’s body. Except he’s a little shorter, around 6’1” instead of Jaxson’s 6’4.” Together both of those boys are lethal to a girl’s hormones. I smile when I think of all the seductive tricks Kayla used to snatch him.

“Don’t be too hard on him, he was just being loyal to Jaxson. You would’ve done the same for me,” I say taking pity on Cooper.

“Ya, you’re right, I’m gonna make him sweat it for a bit longer though.” I shake my head and smile at her. “Are you ready for this?”

I take a deep breath, “As ready as I’m ever gonna be.”

I pull up to Julia’s house just a few minutes before six and try to pull myself together. I’ve been in a shit mood these last few days, leaving Julia is bothering me more than I thought it would. Even Coop has had enough of me. As I walk up to the door and begin to knock, Julia’s grandma, Margaret Sinclair, opens the door.

“Jaxson, I thought that was your bike I heard. Come here and give me a hug.” I do so, awkwardly. I’m not used to affection, especially with elders, but Margaret is a real affectionate lady and likes to hug a lot.

“How ya doing, Miss Margaret?” I ask as politely as I can. I never cared much about my manners but Margaret has been good to me. She never treated me like I wasn’t good enough to be friends with Julia, so I make sure to always be respectful to her.

“How many times I got to tell you to stop with the ‘Miss Margaret’ and call me Grams?” she says with kindness, and a slight hint of frustration.

“Sorry,” I mumble.

“You’re forgiven handsome. Now come on into the kitchen, Julia will be down in a minute, Kayla’s up there with her. They should be done soon.” I follow her into the kitchen. “Sit here and have a cookie,” she says grabbing a plate from the counter. “Julia and I baked them this morning.”

Sitting down next to me she cuts right to the chase, “Now what’s this that you’re leaving?”

“Yes ma’am, I am. I’m going to train and hopefully make it in the Navy, I wanna be a Seal.” She’s looking at me strangely, making me feel uncomfortable.

She goes to the living room and grabs a big photo album. Pulling a picture out she brings it back to me, “Julia’s Pappi, my Ben, was in the Navy. He was a sailor, a darn good one too.” Sure enough the black and white photograph was of a young man in a sailor suit who looked to be even younger than me. Which was confirmed when I turned the picture over and read
Benjamin Sinclair, 1952, 18 years old
. “He served 10 years and then was honorably discharged. He could have stayed but after I had Julia’s mother, Anabelle, I wanted him home with us, safe. Who would’ve known it would have been a drunk driver to take him from us.”

I stare silently at the picture because I’m not really sure what to say. I look up at her in surprise when she puts her hand on mine. “You remind me a little of my Ben, Jaxson. You’re fierce, loyal and strong. I think the Navy would be lucky to have you help serve this country.”

It was probably the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. “Thank you.”

“Now tell me, are you gonna come back to my Julia?”

Jesus, speaking of Julia…
Where the hell is she?
What am I supposed to say to that, when I don’t know the answer? “I’m not sure what will happen if I make it, but I do expect to see Julia again. I care about her; she’s a good friend. I’ll miss her but it will be good for her too. I know it’s been tough at times for her, being friends with me.”

Next thing I know Margaret comes to stand right in front of me. I look up wearily, wondering what the hell she’s gonna say now. This conversation is way too much for me. She takes my face in both her hands and gives me a kind smile, “You’re a good boy Jaxson, never think any different. Julia is lucky to have you; she’s much stronger than you give her credit for. She needs you in her life though, you make sure you come home to her, ya hear?” I swallow thickly and nod at her. I feel bad doing it because I’m not sure I will keep that promise.

Finally I hear Julia’s bedroom door open. Margaret pats my shoulder and yells, “We’re in the kitchen girls.”

I quickly stand up, thankful the conversation is over, and suck in a sharp breath when Julia walks in.
Ho-ly fuck!
All the blood from my head rushes south to my cock and I immediately regret that I’m standing. Every time I see Julia I’m always struck with the reminder of how beautiful she is, but right now, it’s more than that. I have never seen her look this way. She’s showing way more skin than I have yet to see and I don’t want anyone else to either. With her hair and make-up done like this she is not looking like beautiful wholesome Julia. No, she looks like a sexy vixen. What the fuck!?

“Oh Julia dear, you look beautiful.”

“Thanks Grams,” Julia kisses her on the cheek, then looks at me.

“Hi Jax.” She fidgets with the bottom of her skirt and my eyes are drawn to her long smooth legs. Legs that I wanna feel wrapped around my waist while I drive myself into her.
Fuck me!
I look back up at her.

“Hi,” I croak out. Shit,
pull yourself together man!
I clear my throat trying again. “Hey Jules, you do look nice,”
that’s a fucking understatement
. Then I notice Kayla staring at me with a sassy smirk as if she knows something I don’t.

“Hey Jaxson!” she says. “Well I’m outta here folks. Have fun and call me later Jules.” She gives Julia a hug and whispers in her ear something no one else can hear. “Good luck Jaxson, with the Navy thing. I’m sure you’ll do great.”

“Thanks Kayla. Make sure to keep Coop in check. Don’t let him get too big of a head while I’m gone.” She laughs then waves as she walks out the door.

“Are you ready?” I ask Julia.

“Yes. Um is it alright if we take my car instead? I’m not really dressed for the bike.”

No fucking kidding.

“Ya that’s fine.”

“Where are you two headed tonight?” Julia looks over at me not sure.

“I thought we’d go get a pizza at Antonio’s. Then go to the beach later?”

“Sounds great,” she says smiling. A smile that always hits me like a blow to the chest.

We start walking to the front door when Margaret grabs me again and wraps her thin wrinkly arms around my waist. “You take care of yourself now Jaxson, I have no doubt you’re gonna do great. You remember what I said, ok?”

I nod, “You take care too… Grams.” She smiles big as I add that last part.

“I’m not sure what time I’ll be home. Don’t wait up for me just in case I’m late,” Julia says blushing, looking away from me.

Jesus, what’s up with her?

“Actually dear, don’t wait up for me. My knitting club and I are partying it up tonight at Joyce Becker’s. She’s making monster margaritas.”

Julia snickers, “Ok, be careful, and call if you need a ride.”

“Oh you know me, I’ll be fine and I have a ride home. You kids have a good night, bye,” she waves as we walk out the door.

Once we’re outside by ourselves Julia turns to me with a smile handing me her keys, “I imagine you want to drive,” she rolls her eyes playfully. I take the keys from her, then before I can think better of it I grab her hips and pull her against me. She gasps when she feels my hard cock against her stomach.

“You look really fucking good tonight Julia.”

“Thanks,” her response comes out breathless.

I lean down and press a hard kiss to her forehead. Then I grab her hand and drag her to the car before I do something really dumb, like hike up that skirt of hers and fuck her right here on her front porch.