The night I did finally get to meet Jaxson, well… it was the scariest night of my life. It was two weeks after seeing him at the ice cream shop. I had snuck out my bedroom window after Grams went to sleep and walked to the cemetery to see my mom. I sat at her grave and talked to her, something I always found comforting, I still do. I told her how scared I was to be starting a new school, worried people weren’t going to like me and more than anything I told her how much I missed her which made me break down. My mother was my best friend. The pain I felt when she passed hadn’t faded and I’d wondered if it ever would.
I don’t remember how long I cried before I heard some rustling and laughing. I turned around and found two guys walking up behind me. They were big, their builds reminding me of linebackers. By looking at them I had guessed they were a couple years older than me. They smiled at me dangerously as they approached; it was a smile that caused my stomach to fill with dread and my heart to pound in fear. I stood up quickly, my shaking legs barely able to hold me up…
“Well aren’t you a pretty little thing. Isn’t she Jase?”
Suddenly feeling exposed in my yoga tank and shorts, I fold my cardigan over to cover my breasts that they’re openly staring at; this only seems to amuse them.
“Ya, she’s real pretty, I’m glad we stumbled upon her.”
I ignore them and start forward when the one referred to as Jase walks out in front of me, blocking my way. I swallow nervously and attempt to calm my pounding heart while figuring out how I was going to get out of this mess. I know I won’t be able to outrun them but if I could just make it to the street surely someone would hear me scream for help.
Deciding I have no other choice I try and run for it. It was exactly what they were anticipating. I don’t make it far before the other one grabs my hair and pulls me back against him. He claps his hand around my mouth, muffling my screams.
“You stupid bitch. Shut the fuck up!” I kick and fight with every bit of strength I possess, but none of it makes a difference, he’s too strong.
He starts dragging me back to my mom’s grave while his friend Jase stands in front, watching us with a sickening expression. When he starts rubbing his crotch I close my eyes and try to swallow the bile that’s rising in my throat.
“Come on, fucking help me man, this bitch is squirmy.”
Jase snaps to attention and grabs my kicking legs to help carry me back. They drop me roughly on my mom’s grave, knocking the breath from my lungs. The one behind me pins my arms above my head while Jase sits on my legs. Jase wraps a hand around my throat then leans in with a malicious smile: “I’m gonna fuck you right here on your mother’s grave, you little bitch.”
For the first time since they showed up I feel something other than fear. I’m so angry at the way he spats my mother’s name that I spit in his face.
He looks at me in shock and, to be honest, so am I. “You’re a brave little whore,” he raises his hand and slaps me across my face. The metallic taste of blood fills my mouth and black spots dance in my vision. “After I’m done fucking you, my buddy is gonna fuck you, and after he’s done I think we’re gonna have to beat some manners into you bitch.”
His hands start tearing at my tank top, ripping my strap. “No! Please don’t do this, please,” I plead, but then I quickly become quiet when I realize he enjoys my begging. When he starts to undo his belt I close my eyes and start to pray. It’s the first time I have prayed since my mom died. I’m praying so hard that I don’t realize when my legs are suddenly free. Soon though I clue in to the shouting and grunts that are happening. Opening my eyes I look to the left to see Jase on the ground with another guy on top of him, beating the ever livin crap out of him. Finally the guy holding my arms lets go and runs to help his buddy.
“Watch out!” I scream warning the mystery guy. He turns around just in time to land a solid right hook which causes my attacker to hit the ground unconscious.
Whoa, the guy packs a serious punch
. When he fully stands and looks at me I realize that mystery guy is none other than the town’s local bad boy, Jaxson Reid. Jaxson’s expression is so full of rage that my body spikes again with fear. As he starts towards me I shirk away, against my mother’s headstone. He slows down realizing I’m scared of him and cautiously approaches me.
“It’s alright, I’m not going to hurt you. Are you ok? Shit! Never mind, that was a dumb fucking question! Everything is going to be ok. I’m gonna call the police now.”
After he calls the police he sits a little distance away and waits with me. Awkward silence surrounds us. I want to say something, to say thank you, but I can’t seem to form any words.
He catches me off guard when he leans over and gently brushes his fingers across my bruised cheek. “Sorry I didn’t make it in time before this happened.”
His tenderness surprises me. I was told Jaxson was dangerous and he was someone you didn’t want to screw with. After seeing what he just did to my two attackers I can see why.
I swallow nervously, “Don’t be sorry. Thank you for coming when you did, because if you hadn’t, well… you know what was about to happen.”
It all comes rushing back to me. Wrapping my arms around my legs I bury my face in my knees and start sobbing. Jaxson moves a little closer to me and pats my shoulder awkwardly, “It’s over, everything is going to be ok now.” I can tell he’s uncomfortable trying to console me, not knowing what to say. “Listen I know now is not the time to be a dick, but what the hell are you doing at a graveyard late at night by yourself?”
“I was visiting my mother. I didn’t think coming here would almost get me raped,” I snap, then instantly feel bad, his question is legitimate. “I’m sorry, you’re right it was stupid. I won’t be doing it again, at least not in the middle of the night.”
“I don’t recognize those assholes. I’m assuming they were driving through, maybe back to Charleston,” he shrugs, “either way, probably a good idea if you come during daylight.”
“I will,” I say quietly.
Then he sticks out his battered hand to me, “I’m Jaxson Reid.”
I put my shaking one in his: “Julia. Julia Sinclair.”
I pull myself back to the present and try to shake the memory. What had started out to be one of the most awful nights of my life turned out to be one of the best. Because the sexy, dark and mysterious bad boy I was warned to steer clear of became my best friend. Since that night Jaxson has taken care of me, protected me. He brought me back from the brink of pain and heartbreak after losing my mother. He reminded me what is was like to be happy again.
Jaxson is very misperceived by people, mainly due to the reputation of his father. Grams once told me his father was a terrible man and Jaxson was better off without him. That’s all she had said but I didn’t need her to elaborate because I could tell just how deeply his father had hurt him. At times I could see flashes of it when, for that brief moment, his guard slipped and he didn’t realize anyone was looking. I know any physical scars that he bared are incomparable to the ones that were left on his heart.
Don’t get me wrong, Jaxson has earned some of his reputation. He can be arrogant, aggressive and angry. He’s guarded and damaged yet he’s also beautiful, strong and honorable. Our friendship surprised a lot of people because, other than Cooper, Jaxson never befriended anyone else and he definitely didn’t have any friends that were girls. But Jaxson and I formed a bond, one that was so strong it was unbreakable. I unconditionally and irrevocably loved every damaged part of him. And for the boy, who didn’t believe in love, he would always and forever have mine.
I come up to Jaxson sitting by the fire, staring into the bright flames, lost in thought. I watch him a moment, his troubled expression glowing from the firelight.
When he finally realizes I’m here he looks up at me and his face transforms, his harsh expression softens and he looks almost relieved to see me. Sometimes when he looks at me like this I think maybe he does love me the way I love him? But then whenever I get that silly thought I shove it away and remember whom I’m talking about.
He gives me his usual sexy smirk as he stands and walks over to me, “Hey Jules,” he says leaning down to kiss my forehead. For whatever reason Jaxson has kissed my forehead from the moment we became friends. It’s something that he’s reserved just for me and I savor the intimate contact with him. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me against his hard body.
“Hey Jax,” I wrap my arms around his waist and breathe in his delicious scent.
Stepping back Jaxson takes my hand and leads me to sit next to him by the fire. His expression causes my heart rate to spike again and I know whatever he’s going to tell me it’s going to be bad.
Leaning back against the log behind us I wrap both my arms around one of his and lean into him, needing his warmth.
“You cold Jules?”
Although the evenings here are warm in July it’s always a little cooler by the water. But the chill I have now has nothing to do with the breeze from the ocean and everything to do with the dread that’s rushing through my system.
“I’m ok,” I say quietly, then I look at him nervously, “you’re going to tell me something bad aren’t you?”
He’s silent for a moment but his expression says it all. He lets out a heavy breath, “It’ll be alright Jules, it’s not that bad.” There’s sadness in his expression but also some excitement, “I’m leaving town. I have decided to enlist in the Navy, I want to be a Seal.”
My heart plummets as we stare at each other silently for a moment, “Ok, and what does this mean exactly? Where would you go? Don’t you have to qualify first before you can even be accepted?”
He clears his throat, “I have already been accepted. I had to do some written exams and evaluations but I passed. I actually scored really high on them. I’m going to their training facility in Coronado, California.”
“What do you mean you have already been accepted? Just how long have you thought about this?”
He clears his throat cautiously, “I started the process about 6 months ago Jules.”
I stare at him in shock, “What!? Six months? You have known about this for 6 months and never said anything to me?” Hurt strikes deep in my chest replacing my shock, “I can’t believe you kept this from me.”
“Shit. I know, I’m sorry Jules. I didn’t want to upset you if I wasn’t going to make it and pass the exams,” there’s a moment of silence between us before he continues, “I need to do this Julia. I need to get out of this fucking town, I don’t belong here. I had always planned on leaving one day, I just didn’t know it would be for the Navy. The only thing that has been keeping me here this long has been you, and well, maybe Coop too.”
I stare at him dumbfounded, “How can you say you don’t belong here Jaxson? You grew up here for heaven sakes.”
“That’s exactly my point Julia, everyone knows my shit. They know what I come from. Don’t tell me you don’t see how many people look down their fucking noses at me, especially when we’re together. Every one of them wonders what sweet little Margaret Sinclair’s granddaughter is doing being friends with a fuck-up like me.”
“I know some people are stuck-up in this town but I’m sure it doesn’t happen as much as you think it does. Please don’t do this! Don’t leave because you think you need to prove yourself.” The thought of him leaving and not being able to see him everyday kills a small part of me.
“I’m not doing this to prove something to them Julia. I don’t give a fuck what they think of me, I’m doing this for myself. I think I’ve found something that I’m going to be really good at. I did so well on the evaluation that the superior officers are excited to meet me.”
“Can’t you choose something else? Something that isn’t so dangerous? How about being a mechanic? Or owning your own motorcycle shop, you would be so good at that and that would be fun!” I try to sound upbeat at the last part, hoping he takes the bait, but he doesn’t.
He watches me with amusement and I can tell he’s holding back a laugh.
I sigh in defeat, “It was worth a try.”
He chuckles and puts his arm around me. When he looks down at me his expression becomes serious again, “I have a chance to do something good with my life. I can’t give this up. Tell me you understand,” he reaches out and brushes a piece of hair out of my face.
“I’m trying, it’s just hard. I don’t want to lose you,” my voices cracks as I struggle to hold in my pain.
He leans his forehead against mine, “You won’t lose me Jules, we’ll still see each other, obviously not as much as we do now, but we’ll work something out.”
“When do you leave?” I whisper sadly. He lets go and looks wearily at me. “Jaxson?” I ask, feeling panicked again.
He clears his throat, “Saturday morning, I take the ferry to Charleston and fly out from there.”
“What? This Saturday- as in three days from now!”
“I know, I’m sorry. I just found out yesterday. They don’t give you much time.” We sit in silence for a few minutes then he turns to me and cups my cheek, “Are we ok?”
We are ok, I am not,
but I don’t tell him that. Instead I cover his hand with mine and nod because my throat is too tight to speak.
“Listen, I have a lot to get done before I leave but how about we go out Friday? We can grab supper and then come hang out here for the night.”
“Sure, that sounds good. Anyways I better get home. I am later than what I told Grams I would be and I don’t want her to worry.”
And I really don’t want to completely lose it in front of you.
“Alright, come on, I’ll walk you to your car.”
Crap! Now it’s my turn to be nervous, “Um, I didn’t drive here, I walked.”
He tenses and glares at me, “Julia! What the fuck are you thinking!? You know better.”
“Calm down! It was a beautiful night and I wanted to walk. It’s not that far, sheesh!”
“I don’t give a shit! You know not to ever walk at night by yourself!” He lets out a deep breath and runs a hand through his hair, “Let’s go, I’ll take you home.”
“Jaxson, I want to walk and besides I don’t have my helmet and I’m wearing a dress.”