Figure 8 (13 page)

Dad has made me breakfast, a proper English fry up. Bacon, sausage, beans, egg, tomatoes, mushrooms and fried bread. I get the feeling he is trying to fatten me up.

“You look too thin Isabelle, is that man of yours feeding you?” he asks me sternly.

“Of course he is feeding me Dad, he made me a lovely meal last night.” I think about last night and what happened during our meal, although we never did get to finish it. “I had a breakthrough last night Dad.” He turns and looks at me confused. “I finally opened up to him about the night Mom died.” His eyes light up but I can see the sadness in them at the mention of my mom.

“That’s great darling, I’ve been waiting for this day for a very long time. You should talk about her. It’s not healthy keeping everything bottled up. I feel partly responsible. I should have been there for you instead of falling apart. I should have been the one holding your hand, the one wiping away your tears at night. Instead I was selfish, too wrapped up in my own grief to even think about what you were going through. I’m so sorry Isabelle.” A tear streams down his cheek. I walk over to the chair he is sitting on and kneel down in front of him. He lowers his head to look down at me. I hate seeing men cry, but to see my big strong daddy fall apart is breaking my heart.

“Don’t ever blame yourself Daddy. You lost your wife, the love of your life, your other half. I will never blame you for grieving. I didn’t show how I felt, I kept it hidden, trying to be strong for you. I didn’t realise how much damage I was doing to myself by bottling it all up. But I am okay now. Damon has helped me.” I smile when I think of the man I love. “I want you to know that you did your best under the circumstances. I want you to know that Mom would be proud of you. I dreamt about her last night.” He looks up and smiles.

“What did she say?”

“She told me how proud she was of me, finally letting go.” He pulls me into his arms and engulfs me in his heat. We stay like that for the next half hour just holding each other, sobbing and letting ourselves grieve together for the first time.

After morning tea and a good long talk I leave my dad’s house and make my way to the tram station. I plug my iPod in and choose ‘Lifted’ by the Lighthouse Family.

I arrive at Bella Italia in Deansgate just after 1 p.m. Jenny is stood outside waiting for me, I spot her straight away. She is wearing an animal print fluted dress with brown Mary Janes. Her hair is pulled up into a high ponytail. She looks beautiful. My heart swells for my best friend. As she spots me walking towards her, she beams the biggest smile I have seen on her face in a long time. I reach her and she opens her arms, I step into her engulfing embrace. She smells heavenly. I breathe in her perfume, Marc Jacob’s Daisy. It’s her new favourite and the exact same one I was wearing the night I met Damon in the club.

“You look fantastic, Jen.” I smile at her when she finally lets me go. “Jared seems to have a wonderful effect on you.” I nudge her arm as we walk into the restaurant. “Table for two,” I advise the waiter.

“Oh Izzy, he is just dreamy. I think he might just be too perfect to be true.” The waiter shows us to our table, we sit and he hands us the menu.

“Two glasses of sauv please,” I ask before he leaves us. I turn my attention back to Jen advising her to go on before glancing back down at the menu.

“What’s going on Iz? You seem different.” She sure can read me like a book.

“I had a breakthrough of sorts. I feel lighter.”

“You had a breakthrough?” she smiles and the pride that lights up her face is almost unbearable.

“I told Damon about Mom, and then this morning me and Dad had a long talk and a good crying session.”

“You cried? Like full on proper crying?” she doesn’t hide her obvious shock. This woman has known me forever and knows that I don’t cry over my mom. Even when I told her about it, I never once cried as I told the story.

“I did, it was actually really great to let it all out finally.” The waiter appears with our drinks and we order our meals. “I felt like a huge weight had lifted off my shoulders. Dad has a lot of guilt for not being there for me when I needed him, we finally managed to get it all out in the open. I think I can finally move on, Jen. I think I can finally be happy.” A tear trickles down her cheek and a small sob escapes her lips.

“I am so happy,” she says wiping her nose on a tissue, and then blowing. I laugh at how unladylike her actions are. “Don’t laugh at me,” she snorts. “I have waited so long for you to be happy.”

“So tell me about Jared,” I try to change the subject. Her eyes light up when I mention his name.

“Oh, Iz, he is just so perfect, so dreamy. I can’t believe I have found my soul mate. I am so happy and I think I might love him. I haven’t told him yet because I think he may just freak out. We have had a few problems. The night we all went out, we had a massive argument about his commitment issues. His ex-girlfriend really did a number on him. We argued about it, I told him he had to get over it, that I wasn’t her. I think we are making progress though. He has been much better the past few days. Maybe I should send him to see Damon for some counselling?” she laughs. “I’m only kidding. But seriously, that is his only flaw other than that he is perfect.” Her eyes widen as she continues. “And he has the biggest cock I have ever seen in my life. I mean you know me, I have had a few dicks in my life, but seriously, like, wow!” I laugh thinking how lucky we are to have both found great men with huge cocks.

We finish up our meal, happily chatting about life and love. It really has been a perfect day, I head home happy and content in my own little bubble. I open the door to the apartment, it’s only 3 p.m. Damon won’t be home for a few hours yet. I decide to give Sue a ring to see about some daytime shifts at work.

“Good afternoon sunshine,” she answers the phone cheerily. “How are you feeling?”

“Hi Sue, I’m good thanks, in fact, I’m great. I’m still a little sore but I’m getting there. I was wondering if it was possible to grab some day shifts. I am so bored, I wouldn’t be able to do much but I can serve drinks and clear some tables?” I miss work, and I miss Jack, I’ve not seen him for ages. I’m upset that he hasn’t been to see me since the attack.

“I am so glad you called, Jack’s been off sick for over a week and I am desperate for staff. I didn’t want to bother you.” Well that’s news to me. I will have to give Jack a call and see what’s going on.

“Would you like me to come in tomorrow?” I ask hopefully. I know Damon won’t be happy but I am so bored sat here, waiting for him to come home every day.

“Sure sunshine, come in about eleven and work for a few hours, it will help me out immensely.”

“Okay Sue, see you soon and thanks.” We say our goodbyes and hang up. I am looking forward to getting some normalcy back. I grab a cup of tea and then sit down, scrolling through my phone I hit call on Jack’s name.

“Hi,” he answers, in an unfamiliar tone.

“Hey bitch, what’s wrong? Sue says you’re ill.”

“I’m okay,” he replies, but I can tell from the tone of his voice that he is anything but okay.

“Jack, what’s going on? We are meant to be mates, you can tell me” I encourage.

“I spilt up with Josh” he says, sounding deflated.

“Aww babe, that sucks. We need a night out, and then we can find you a new man.

“I am off men for the time being. I’ve had enough of being used. Izzy, why can’t I find someone who want’s to be with me for who I am?” He sounds so upset and down, instead of his usual cheery self, my heart breaks for him.

“Hey, don’t be so down on yourself. One day, you will find someone who will adore you, who will take you for who you are and will love every inch of you. I promise. Hey, if I can find someone to love me, then there is someone out there for you too.”

“Thanks Iz, you’re the best.” We have a good chat for the next half hour and make plans to catch up.

The next three weeks goes smoothly. My shoulder is healing and the headaches I had been suffering with have died down. Things have been going great, I feel happier and lighter. I think that my life has finally hit that point where I am happy and content. I have been going to work but only during the day, and light duties.

I have a rare day off today and I have spent the day cleaning the apartment. When I finish I make myself a cup of tea and sit on the sofa to read a book. My eyes are heavy and it’s not long before I drift off into a peaceful sleep. I wake up to the sound of keys in the door, wrenching my stiff neck up from the sofa, I smile when Damon appears in the frame.

“Go put your best frock on love, we’re going out,” I laugh at his attempt at an English accent. He failed miserably.

“Where are we going? And why?” I ask confused by his spontaneity.

“We are going to go and celebrate.” I am even more confused now, what do we have to celebrate? “You finally letting go, I know it’s been a three weeks since then but this is the first time we have had a chance to do something,” he elaborates when he sees my confusion. I smile up at him, stand and walk towards the bedroom, giving him a peck on the cheek as I go.

I decide to wear a short red shift dress with strappy heels and a black knit cardigan. It is summer but there is still a chill in the air. Damon opted for casual, wearing Jeans and a light blue shirt opened at the collar showing off the tiny bit of chest hair he has going on underneath, he completes the outfit with a dinner jacket. I can’t help but want to rip it off and lick him.

We enter the restaurant an hour later, it’s a cosy little Italian that we have been to before with Jenny and Jack. The waiter shows us to our table, it’s a private booth in the corner near the back. I look at our surroundings taking it all in. I like to remember nights like these, they are so important to me and my recovery, to remember the good times and forget about the bad ones.

The walls are painted in an oxblood colour, with a spectacular gold coving along the tops of the wall. There are hundreds of black and white photographs dotted all over the walls, pictures of Italy and the surrounding areas, famous Italians that have dined in the restaurant, even pictures of the owners family. The tables are all intimate, each one out of ear range of the other to provide privacy for the diners. It has turned into one of my favourite places and it is perfect for tonight.

“How are you feeling today?”

“I’m really great. I feel so much lighter lately. I think I am finally moving on.”

“That’s really good, you need to move forward. I’m not saying you have to forget about the past but use it to remind you that you have a future.” A small tear slips down my cheek at his words. “I have a surprise for you,” he blurts out. “I wanted to give it to you at the end of the meal, but I’m too excited, I couldn’t wait.” He has the biggest smile spread across his face and I want to kiss his little dimples so badly. He reaches inside his jacket and pulls out a brown envelope. He carefully passes it across the table into my waiting hands, I watch as he shifts nervously in his seat.

“What is it?”

“Open it and find out.” He looks like he is going to explode if I don’t open it soon. I smile at him and begin to open the envelope. I reach inside and pull out a wallet. I immediately realise what it is and start bouncing up and down up on my seat.

“Oh. My. God. Are you serious?” I blurt a little too loudly. I open the wallet and look at the tickets concealed. “This is in two day’s time?” I question.

“I spoke to Sue this afternoon and she thought it was a great idea, after what you have been through you need the break.” I am still grinning as I read the tickets. Return flights to Malaga. I haven’t been out of the UK since I was a little girl, and I have never been to Spain. “Are you happy?” he asks cautiously.