Authors: Elle McKenzie
“Different how?” he urges.
“There was someone else in the room, a door opened and then I heard footsteps booming towards me. I have never felt fear like it. I felt threatened, like my life was in danger then I woke up and I was screaming, and gasping for breath.” He turns me to look at him again. That stray lone tear appears on my cheek again. I watch as Damon reaches up and brushes it away. “I’m so scared,” I admit.
“What are you scared of?” he looks confused.
“I’m scared that you make me happy, you make me feel again.” He tries to cut me off but I hold my hand up to stop him. “I’m scared that I have fallen for you so fast. I’m scared of my feelings towards you because I don’t know if they’re real or if it’s because of my depression. I tend to have a habit of falling hard for people because I enjoy the love and attention that I feel when someone wants me. When my mom died I felt so alone for such a long time, that now when someone shows me a small piece of affection I grab hold of it tightly and I don’t want to let go. But because of this I feel like our relationship is heading for disaster, that you will get tired of all my insecurities and my fucked up mind and you will leave me. It will kill me for sure if that happens.” I’m looking into his eyes trying to read him but I don’t know what he is thinking.
“Iz, I promise that I won’t leave you.” I open my mouth to cut him off but he stops me by placing a finger over my lips. “I want to help you, make you better and I would go against my vow if I left you.”
“But,” I start and he stops me again.
“No but’s babe. I can’t promise that this relationship is going to be plain sailing because it’s not. We need to work at this, but as far as I am concerned you’re my girlfriend for now and for as long as you want to be.”
Did he just say Girlfriend?
“As for you being scared about your feelings for me, that’s only natural. But let me say from my part, that first time I saw you it was like something clicked into place and my world became whole.” I nod my head because I know exactly what he means. “I am not sure if you believe in soul mates, but I believe we were meant to find each other. I believe that I am the other piece of your heart, the piece that is meant to fix it again. I promise you that we will do this together, we may have our ups and downs and we may stumble, but as long as we stick together and we talk about our issues we will get there in the end.” My heart rate quickens with each word. He pulls me close and kisses me quickly. I need to put all my insecurities to one side and go with the flow. I have never met anyone like Damon before; I have never had these feelings before. I know deep down that they are real, but it still scares the crap out of me.
“Can I come around tonight?” I ask hopefully. “I have to work until 8 p.m. but then I’m free.”
“I’m sorry princess, but I have some things I need to sort out. I can’t put them off any longer but I will call you and I promise I will see you tomorrow. Is that okay?” I feel deflated but I know I can’t rely on him being around twenty-four-seven. I can’t get clingy or he really will get sick of me.
“Okay, that’s fine.” I put on a brave face. He kisses me hard on the mouth and I relax into his kiss. His hands fist into my hair and I grab the nape of his neck. The phone rings. Crap!
“Fuck.” He stands up and walks towards his desk, adjusting himself before he answers. “Yes?” he snaps. “Oh sorry, yes that’s fine tell him I will be five more minutes, just finishing up here.” He hangs up and turns to face me. “I’m sorry Isabelle, my next appointment is here,” he says, apologetically. I stand wiping my eyes and smooth my top down.
“It’s fine. I will see you tomorrow.” I am really trying not to sound disappointed. I really don’t want to be the over dramatic, clingy, jealous girlfriend. I just get so scared when I leave him, that I might not see him ever again. I walk towards him and kiss his cheek. “Bye.”
“Bye, Babe.” My insides clench as he runs his hand down my cheek and across my jaw. I turn and head out of the door.
“See ya,” I call to Candy as I walk past her desk.
“Goodbye Miss Riley,” she murmurs. I turn once just as Damon is greeting his next client, a tall man in a suit, not the type you expect to see in a shrink’s office but I guess even smart businessmen have issues. The cool air hits me as I walk out onto the street. I dig into my bag pulling out my iPod and headphones. I hit shuffle on the screen and Mister Mister’s ‘Take these broken wings’ comes on. I laugh to myself thinking how appropriate, it’s like my iPod knows exactly how I feel at any given moment.
After the short tram ride home, I have a nice long soak in the bath. I think about all the things that Damon has said to me over the last week and a bit. Wow has it really only been just over a week since I first met him? It feels like I’ve known him forever. I think about the last thing he said to me, about us being a piece of a jigsaw puzzle, which was meant to fit together perfectly. I don’t believe in fate, but I do believe that we were meant to be together. I want to be a stronger person; I want to do it for Damon and for our relationship. I get out of the bath feeling a lot lighter. For the first time in such a long time, I can finally see a future for me and it’s looking amazing.
The next seven weeks go smoothly. Damon and I go on a dinner date with Jack, Jenny and their new men. We have a really good night, the wine flows and we end up at a club dancing the night away. Things seem to be going really great between Jenny and Jared, I have never seen her as happy as this. I couldn’t say the same between Jack and Josh. Their relationship seemed strained and uncomfortable. I guess only time will tell. Things between Damon and I have really picked up pace. I spend every other night at his apartment, I would be there every night but we agreed to set boundaries so I wouldn’t become too reliant on him. The meetings have been helping; I am busy concentrating on reclaiming my life back. Being in control is important and I am finally grieving. I realised that I had blamed myself for my mother’s death and that’s what has been holding me back. I still haven’t gone into the details surrounding the day my mom died with Damon, but we are getting there and he knows I will tell him in my own time. I have been having my figure 8 dreams more regularly, and often when I am sleeping next to Damon. I wake in a cold sweat and he is there to soothe me and make me feel better. He bought me a book on dreams and numbers and I have been reading through them to try and make sense of them. The conflicting articles on the dreams are making it harder to determine the cause. I think maybe the conclusion is that they’re just dreams and have no other significance.
Today is Saturday and we have made plans to go clubbing with Jenny and Jared. Jenny and I spent the day being pampered and shopping for new outfits to wear. Damon insisted on paying for it all. Well, I say he insisted I refused at first, which led to him tying me to the bed and refusing to let me come until I agreed.
We arrive at the club just after 11 p.m. I am already buzzed after our vodka bombs in the toilets. Jenny, is wearing Jeans and a hot pink baby doll top with pink stilettos, her hair is tied up on top of her head in a messy bun. I went with black leggings and knee high boots, with a blue strappy top and matching accessories, I decided to keep my hair down but curled it into tight ringlets. I smile as I remember the conversation I had with Damon while I was getting ready.
“I don’t understand you women,” he stated, while I was sat on the bedroom floor in front of the full-length mirror. I turned and flashed him a confused look. “I mean you spend hours straightening your hair after a shower to then go and curl it again.” I smile at his statement.
“You wouldn’t understand. You men just get out of the shower, give it a rub with a towel then leave it.”
“That’s because it doesn’t take much to look this handsome.” I roll my eyes at him. He laughs at me as he turns to leave me to get ready.
I look around the club, it’s busier than the last time we were in here. Damon has put us on the VIP list, as his friend Jay owns the place. It felt amazing to walk past all the people queuing outside and walk right in. Damon had arranged to meet up with us later in the evening, as he had a few things to take care of at work before he could relax. I had arranged to meet up with Jenny and Jared and have a few drinks beforehand. There must be hundreds of people in this club but I can sense him watching me. I look up across the balcony and spot him, my heart flutters. Will I ever get enough of this man?
Not when he keeps giving you exploding orgasms, no!
I nudge Jenny to make our way over towards the stairs. I smile when I see him stood at the top of the curved staircase, waiting for me. My knickers melt when I am greeted with his thousand-megawatt smile. He is wearing dark blue jeans and a black shirt opened at the collar with a black jacket, which he currently has slung over his shoulder. I feel myself dampen as he stalks towards me, taking each step methodically. I swallow hard as I see the lust in his eyes. Rudimental’s ‘Feel The Love’ is thumping over the sound system, as I stand transfixed on the man in front of me.
“Will you two stop eye fucking each other, so we can go and get some drinks please.” Jenny laughs, while slapping me lightly on the arm. She whispers something into Jared’s ear and he suddenly looks angry. He walks off towards the bar and I watch as she follows behind looking deflated. I should really ask Jenny if everything is okay but I am too hung up on my own relationship. I turn back to the man who is now standing in front of me.
“Hi babe, did you get everything done at work?”
“Yep, all sorted so we can relax for the weekend now.” he smiles at me and those dimples make my knickers disintegrate. The effect this man has on me just by his look is totally unbelievable. I used to laugh when reading books, where the heroine would say she would get wet just from one look. I used to think ‘what total bullshit’ but here I am doing the exact same thing. We make our way to the bar where Jenny has ordered the drinks. We collect them and make our way to a table.
“So how’s things with you and Jared?” I say as we are walking, the men lagging behind, probably chatting about some boring stuff.
“Yeah, it’s good.” I can sense by the tone in her voice that it is anything but good. There is something wrong.
“Are you sure? I saw his reaction before, he looked angry at something. Is everything alright?” I watch her shoulders slump.
“Yes, we just had a little argument before we came out. It’s nothing really, honest we are fine.”
“Okay, let’s go dance,” I drop it. I know if there is something wrong she will tell me in her own time.
We head down to the sunken dance floor, leaving Damon and Jared chatting about football. After a while I feel arms wrap around my belly, I lean back into his chest and breathe him in. He smells delicious. I grind up against him in time with the music. I am feeling that buzz and I am incredibly horny. I could fuck him right here on the dance floor right now, in front of all these people and I wouldn’t care. He kisses that spot on my neck that drives me wild and I tingle from head to toe.
“I really want to take you right now,” he whispers in my ear. I turn around in his arms and face him, finding his lips I kiss him deeply.
“I want you to take me right now,” I breathe into his mouth. He pierces me with his beautiful eyes and then he grabs my hand pulling me through the crowd of people and up the stairs.
“Wait here,” Damon commands when we reach the top, I watch him walk over and talk to someone, he then walks back towards me with a determined sexy look on his face. “Come on.” He grabs me by my arm again and pulls me through the mass of people. We enter a door that says ‘Staff only’ and walk through a corridor.
“Where are we going?” He turns around and flashes me his beautiful dimpled grin, his eyes full of desire, and winks. We enter another door and I walk in as he closes it behind me, locking it in the process. I look around, we are in an office, I assume it is Jay’s office and I assume that it was Jay that he spoke to.
“Turn around,” I immediately do as I am told. He strides towards me with hunger in his eyes, like a predator stalking his prey. When he reaches me he takes my mouth with force, capturing my kiss, and taking my breath away. He backs me up until my legs hit the big wooden desk behind me. “Take off your top,” he stands back and watches me. I slowly and seductively take the straps of my top down my arms and then lift it over my head. I undo the clasp of my blue lace bra and drop it to the floor. “Take off your boots.” I bend down, taking the zip down on each boot before removing them. All the time Damon is watching me closely. I start to take my leggings off. “I didn’t say take them off,” he stops me. I look at him and he walks back towards me. He leans down and takes my breast in his mouth his hand squeezing and tugging my other nipple. I am so wet right now. I love him taking control of me.
“Damon, please!” I want him. No. I need him. Right. Now. The ache inside me is so painful. His hands move lower and he slowly takes down my leggings along with my knickers.
“You’re so wet baby,” he says as he swipes a finger along my clit. My legs almost give way. He catches me and picks me up, placing me on the top of the desk. He positions me so my legs are straddled on top of the wood. Standing back, he stares at me. He looks predatory, it is such a turn on. I can feel my wetness dripping down. “Look how wet you are. I think I need to clean that up before you drip on the desk,” he says with the biggest smirk on his face. He moves closer and then lowers his head in between my legs, licking all the way up my slit. My head falls back and I struggle to keep myself up on my shaking arms. He places a finger inside me and licks my clit, my head starts to spin and my arms give way. I fall back on the desk as my orgasm explodes inside me. I feel him shift, then I feel his stiff length fill me.
“Oh my god Damon, fuck me, fuck me hard,” I beg him.
“Hold onto the edge of the table baby.” I do as I am told, I grip hard, then harder as he rams into me with force. It is almost painful, he is punishing my pussy with his hard dick, and I love it. Another mind shattering orgasm rips through my body and I feel the throb and warmth of his orgasm leak out of him. He reaches down for me, his flaccid cock still inside me and lifts me up, he holds me tight, stroking my now damp hair.
“Wow,” Is all he can say, and I know how he feels.
We clean ourselves up and wipe down the desk before we leave. We head back into the club and find Jen and Jared.
“Where the hell have you....” Jen starts then stops herself when she looks at us. “I don’t even wanna know,” she looks us up and down, and then turns back to Jared. We both laugh.
“Do you want a drink babe?” Damon asks.
“Yes, please. Jen, do you want a drink?” she turns back around.
“I will have a screaming orgasm please, don’t bother getting Izzy one though, she looks like she’s already had one.” I laugh and I’m sure I turn a lovely shade of red.
Before we know it, it is 2 a.m. and we are ready to go home. Jenny had decided to stay the night at Jared’s house so we opt to go back to my flat, as it is closer to the club than Damon’s apartment. We head out into the cool night air, it’s a beautiful night for a stroll through the city. We make our way towards the flat hand in hand.
“I’ve been thinking,” Damon interrupts the peacefulness.
“Did it hurt?” I laugh. “Sorry couldn’t resist,” I say shamefully when I look at his expression.
“I’m serious Isabelle, I was thinking, why don’t you move in with me?” I stop walking and stare at him. “I’m sorry. It’s too soon isn’t it?”
“No, no, sorry, you just caught me by surprise. I wasn’t expecting it, that’s all.” Am I ready for this? I know I spend a lot of time there anyway, but I would miss Jenny and I would hate to leave her, especially with double rent. “Can I think about it?” he looks deflated and I immediately regret my decision.
“Yes sure, no problem, it was just a thought.” We carry on walking but I can sense the tension in him. It’s a big decision and not something I want to make lightly. It’s only been just over eight weeks and yes, it feels like we have known each other forever, but it’s a massive step.
As we walk up to the flat I notice that the lock has been broken on the front door. I look at Damon and he pushes me aside, stepping in front of me to enter first.
“Stay here,” Damon commands. I do as I am told, I watch Damon enter the flat, and my stomach twists into knots. I can feel my windpipe closing, I think I am having a panic attack. I gasp as I struggle to breathe. I feel a sharp pain in my shoulder and a cool sensation hits me as I reach the stone floor just before my mind fades to black.