Figure 8 (6 page)

The rest of the week continues in a blur. I don’t venture out of my flat much, apart from going to work on Friday afternoon. Nothing much eventful has happened and I haven’t seen the white Range Rover since Wednesday night. It is now Saturday afternoon and I have spent the morning lying on the sofa, torturing myself with some film where the girl meets the boy of her dreams, they fall in love and live happily ever after. I am just about to get up and make a cup of tea when Jenny comes barrelling through the door and throws a bag in my face.

“Get up now,” she yells. “We are going out tonight and we are going to drink copious amounts of alcohol, hook up with some hot men and have a really great night. I’m sick of seeing them god damn pyjamas.” Jenny has been my best friend for what feels like forever. We met in our first year of college and we have been inseparable since. She knows almost everything there is to know about me and she can read me like a book. I glance towards the bag she has thrown on my lap. “Open it,” she shrieks. I look inside the bag, reaching in I pull out the most beautiful red dress I have ever seen, it’s a halter neck so it is has no back going all the way down to the top of where my bum would start. It’s stunning.

“Where did you get this from?”

“I’ve been to the Trafford Centre this morning, it was in the sale and I just knew it would look dazzling on you the moment I saw it. Plus it was a bargain, you know how I can’t resist a bargain.” It really is beautiful. I stand up and hold it out in front of me.

“It’s beautiful but I don’t think I’m in the mood to go out tonight, I’m happy to sit here in my PJs all week.” I really don’t want to go out. My mood has changed since my encounter with Damon on Wednesday and I know that I am slipping back into a state of depression. I know the signs, but I also know that Jenny can see the signs too and I know what she is trying to do. I love that she worries about me, but I need to sort this out on my own.

“I won’t take no for an answer, we are going out and that’s final. I’m going to make us some tea then we are pampering ourselves. I am going to do your hair and makeup perfect, you will look like a princess when I’m finished with you,” she squeals in delight, clapping her hands together. I let out a sigh, I know that there is no use fighting her on this one. Jenny has always gotten everything she has ever wanted, she has one of those pouty faces that will make everyone do as she says, it also makes men fall at her feet. We make tuna, pasta salad together and devour it whilst making plans. Afterwards Jenny starts prepping me for the night ahead. We enjoy a bottle of wine as we bathe, paint our nails, curl our hair and put on our makeup. I slip the dress on in my room, zipping it up at the side and turn around in the full-length mirror. ‘Is that really me?’ I murmur to myself. The dress fits perfectly, it hugs every inch of my too thin body. It stops just below my knee so it is still classy, I have found my hot red stilettos to match and they make my legs look longer. I turn to see the back and it’s none existent, the cut goes all the way down to my pert backside. I have to say I look stunning. My makeup has been done to match the dress, smouldering smoky black eyes and full pouty red lipstick. I have to say Jenny has outdone herself this evening, I feel like a princess. It’s amazing how a good bath and a bit of makeup can make you feel. This morning I looked like a sack of spuds, but tonight I could take on the world.

You’re still the same fucked up person Izzy, a bit of makeup won’t help that.

I try to quiet the neurotic voices in my head and head out into the living room. “Wow, you look absolutely gorgeous. If I didn’t like cock so much I would do you,” Jen gasps, as I enter the room. It’s a small flat but it’s our home, the walls are white and the carpet is duck egg blue, the couch is brown; a mixture of leather and fabric. We have a small dining table with two chairs that fit perfectly between the sofa area and the small kitchen island. It’s perfect for just the two of us.

“I feel gorgeous, you have really outdone yourself tonight, Jen.” I smile at her and it’s a genuine happy smile. She stands and I see she is wearing a figure hugging, light blue dress that is bordering on becoming indecently short, but she has the longest legs that I have ever seen and it makes them look longer, if that is at all possible. Her blonde hair is curled into a wave and left down to flow around her double D breasts. I’ve always been jealous of her ample bosom and tonight there is no exception. “You don’t look too bad yourself, hot stuff and if I didn’t like cock so much I would totally do you too.” I smirk at her. She puffs out her chest and does a little twirl.

“I know right, I’m gonna have them eating out the palm of my hand tonight.” I let out a little laugh.

“What’s new honey!” I fly back at her. We both giggle and head out of the door. We head into the bar that I work at - after a short stop at the local store for chewing gum and a small bottle of vodka. - We always grab a purse size bottle, so that we don’t have to spend as much on drinks in the bars. Sue would have a mini fit if she knew I did this, but nights out cost so damn much, and she doesn’t pay me enough. When we walk in the door Jack is behind the bar, his eyes nearly pop out of his head when he sees us enter.

“OH MY GAWD!” he shouts, and of course everyone in the bar turns to look at us. “Darlings, you’re gonna give some poor bloke a heart attack walking around looking like that. And Jen, wow, you will poke out an eye or two with those knockers.” We both chuckle as we pull up a stool and take a seat at the bar. “I swear, if I was that way inclined I would drag you both to the staff room and have my way with you right now.” We both laugh at his statement, knowing we had both said similar to each other earlier on.

“Like I’ve told you before Jacky boy you couldn’t handle
me,
what makes you think you could ever handle those tits?” I point to Jen’s breasts. “Now get us some drinks bitch and stop drooling a pool.” I am feeling good and I have the giggles bad. Jack pours us both a glass of wine and as the alcohol starts to flow my body starts to loosen up and I forget about Damon and his sexy arse.

“So when are you going to talk to me about what happened last week?” Jen starts. I knew this conversation was bound to crop up eventually. I have been putting it off all week. I don’t want her to feel that this is in any way her fault though. This is my problem, it’s been my problem for this long, and it will always be my problem. I know that I have never fully gotten over what happened to my mom. I’m just hoping that one day I can stop feeling like I want to be with her so much and enjoy my time with the people who are around me now.

“Tonight is not the time to discuss this Jen, but I promise you I will never ever put you through that again. I’m going to get help and I am going to get better I swear to you.”

“Well I will drink to that.” She clinks my glass. I’ve known Jenny long enough now to know she will never push me on this subject, she knows my demons and she accepts who I am.

“Cheers,” we both say in unison.

“To new beginnings.”

“And hot men.” We both laugh out loud. I manage to squirt my wine out of my nose. It isn’t a good look.

After a few more drinks and a few dashes to the toilet to fill up our cokes with the vodka we bought, we decide it’s time to head to one of the clubs in town. Jenny wants to get hot and sweaty up against some men on the dance floor and I am feeling that slight buzz that makes me want to get up and dance till I drop. We encourage Jack to come with us to the club, but we have had to promise him that we will end the night down on Canal Street at the gay bars, we all agree that as soon as Jen has pulled we will head that way.

As we make our way around the city centre we decide to choose the club with the least queue outside, it might be spring but there is still a real chill in the air and none of us are dressed to be standing outside. Jack managed to get changed quickly after his shift, slipping on a pair of too skinny, skinny jeans and a too skinny, skinny t-shirt. His hair is still a pink Mohawk and he has his trademark guyliner on. He really is a character but he is a genuine good guy and he has been a really great friend to me over the last two years.

“Call me old fashioned,’ Jack whispers as we stand waiting to go inside. There are only a few people in front of us, and it is moving pretty quickly. I turn to look at Jack as he eyes the girl in front of us up and down. “But shouldn’t your shorts be longer than your vagina?” he finally says. We both burst into a fit of hysterics, apart from Jenny, who stands there with a blank, confused expression on her face.

As we enter the club the music is pulsing and I can feel my heart beating to the rhythm. It’s not a club that I have been into before; I glance around noticing that there are two floors, upstairs looks like it’s a VIP area, I can just about make out several well-dressed people looking down over the crowded dance floor below as the lights shine in my eyes. I wonder to myself if there are any celebrities up there, I know the people from Coronation Street often come out to this area. We make our way over to the bar area. I perch my butt onto one of the stools and wait for the bartender to get round to serving us. Jack and Jenny are in deep discussion as I am taking in our surroundings.

“What can I get ya?” The bartender asks when it’s my turn. I order myself a whiskey and Red Bull, I get Jack a vodka and Coke and Jen a Southern Comfort and lemonade. We collect our drinks and head to one of the tables just above the sunken dance floor. Rudimental’s ‘Waiting all Night’ comes on and me and Jen both shriek at the same time. This is our tune. We practically run down the few steps to the dance floor, leaving Jack sat at the table like a lemon. He eventually follows, unhappy that we just ditched him and we dance and drink for what feels like hours. Jen, is grinding up against some random fella, dancing to Silence by Delerium. A few men have tried to dance with me, but I keep brushing them off, I can’t get Damon out of my head. I keep looking around me, getting a sense that someone is watching me. I can’t shift the feeling. Jack is sat down at a table chatting to some lad, I’m pretty sure he is gay too as he is looking at Jack like he wants to devour him.

After a few drinks I really need to find where the toilets are in this place. I tell Jen and Jack where I am going and I head off to search. I find the line to the ladies room that appears to go on forever, I reach the end and stand waiting. My body has gone passed buzzed and it is now well into full on drunk mode. I’m feeling really light headed and slightly sick as my dancing buzz starts to wear off. I’m so desperate to pee that if this line doesn’t move soon there will be a puddle on the floor. I crouch down trying to alleviate the pressure on my bladder, and the next thing I know I am laying on a couch.

I look up into deep blue eyes, I know these eyes, these eyes have taunted me in my dreams for a week. Concern is etched in his brow and he looks pained.

“Isabelle, are you alright?” Oh there’s that American raspy voice again that does desperate things to my insides.

“What happened? Where are my friends?” I ask confused. “What the fuck are you doing here?” I am confused and annoyed that he is once again here when I am at my worst.

Always at my worse!

“Sush, calm down. Jenny has gone to get your purse and Jack is right here.” He moves over and I see Jack behind him looking scared and breathless. I notice that he didn’t answer my last question. “You were in the queue for the bathroom and you must have passed out, we brought you up here to give you some space.”

“
Up here?”

“Yes, you’re in the VIP section.” I’m so confused. It’s then that I remember my urge to pee. I try to stand up but feel woozy again. “Please stay lying down until you feel a little better.” I am angry now, he is treating me like a child. Why is it, every time I see this man something bad is happening to me? He must think I am such a mental case, I’m not surprised he didn’t want to kiss me.

“I really need the bathroom,” I mutter feeling annoyed and embarrassed. I’m sure I’ve turned a lovely shade of beetroot. Damon turns around and says something to Jack, within seconds Jenny is by my side and helping me into the bathroom.

“Who in the hell is that delicious man out there?” she says as soon as we are alone, I can see her eyes are almost popping out of her head.

“Who, Damon?” I question with a smirk on my face, knowing full well whom she is talking about. She nods. “Yes, that’s my shrink,” I answer with a shrug, trying to play it cool, when I am anything but. Why does this man make my insides burn up like I could spontaneously combust at any given moment? I want to be angry with him for the way he brushed me off on Wednesday but that is failing miserably. I look back at Jenny who is stood with her mouth wide open staring down at me whilst I am sitting on the toilet.