Final Score: Part One (Game On #5) (10 page)

“Did Radleigh send you?” I mumbled.

“Yes. But if he hadn’t, I would have come anyway.”

With another sigh, I pulled away from him. “Aren’t you supposed to be with him? Supporting him?”

Bryce shook his head. “I think you need me more than he does.”

“I’m fine, Bryce.”

I turned away from him and walked back towards the kitchen, back to the temptation of my glass of wine.

“Sure you are,” I heard him mutter as he followed me.

Before I sat, I nodded towards one of the kitchen cupboards. “Wine?”

“Not for me.” Instead of reaching for a glass, he went to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water then we both sat down at the kitchen table where I quickly picked up my own drink and took another gulp.

“Okay.” I swirled my wine around in the glass, watching the ruby liquid as it splashed gently against the sides. “Say it. Tell me I’m an idiot and I’m making things worse.”

I risked a glace up at him, and he raised his eyebrows. “I don’t think things could get much worse, Leah. But now you mention it, I think the last thing you and Radleigh need is to be apart right now.”

“I appreciate your honesty, but… he told you why I’m upset, right?”

He nodded. “He told me. And in spite of what you might think, he does understand. And he knows he was wrong. But he wants more than anything to be back here with you and Jessica.”

“It’s just a couple of nights, Bryce. Just so I can think. And so he can think, too.”

“About what? He knows where he wants to be. That’s never been in question.”

“Maybe you think that.” I placed my glass on the table, sickness creeping over me and taking away the desire to drink another drop. “But the truth is, I don’t know. And I’m not sure he knows either.”

Bryce placed his hand on mine and I looked up at him. “You’re not being fair.”

“Fair?” I snatched my hand away and stood up. “Nothing about this is fair. Least of all him lying to me.”

“Fine. He lied. That was a dick move. But don’t let Jen come between you. That’s what she wants, Leah. It’s who she is. For her, nothing’s worthwhile if it doesn’t cause maximum destruction.”

“
She
didn’t do this to us. I mean, yeah, she didn’t have to come here and say what she did, but it wasn’t her who tried to hide it from me. We promised each other, Bryce. No more secrets. Ever. But he lied to me. Twice.”

“Leah, you’ve got to understand how hard this is for him. How would you feel if the first person you ever loved came back into your life with a huge bombshell? Wouldn’t you have wanted to some time to process before talking to Radleigh about it?”

Bryce’s question stopped me in my tracks. Luke. Maybe he wasn’t even someone I
truly
loved. But he was the first person who popped into my head, and the only guy aside from Radleigh who had ever had the power to get under my skin. If he rocked up in Westberg with apologies, telling me he’d made a mistake and that he regretted the way he treated me, would I have told Radleigh right away?

“Maybe,” I said. “But I wouldn’t have taken so long about it, especially knowing that person had the power to make the situation worse if he got to Radleigh before I did. She’s poison, Bryce. And he should have known better.”

Bryce nodded. “He should have. And he messed up. I’m just asking you to see this from his point of view for a second. He’s just found out he has another child. And you threw him out.”

“Is that what he said?”

“No. He said you wanted some space, but what’s happened is that you’ve thrown him out. So now he’s at his parents’ place trying to deal with all this shit on his own.”

I fixed Bryce with a glare. “Don’t turn this on me. I never said he couldn’t talk to me about that. I never said he couldn’t talk to me. Me needing space has nothing to do with Jayden.”

“No?”

I wasn’t absolutely sure I recognised the man in front of me. Bryce had played mediator between Radleigh and me more than once. And he usually did so impartially. By being there for both of us without judgement. Without taking sides. He smoothed over the cracks and made it easier for us to find a compromise. The need for him to do so was rare, but every other time, I’d believed he was supporting us both. This time I didn’t feel supported or understood at all.

“I’m just asking you to be honest, Leah.”

“I have been honest,” I replied calmly. “I haven’t hidden the fact that I would have preferred that Jayden belonged to Gary. I haven’t hidden the fact that this terrifies me. That Radleigh having a lifelong connection to Jen makes me edgy and unreasonable, and that I wanted this whole scenario to play out a different way. But deep down, before the results came, I had already accepted that Jayden is Radleigh’s son. Jen isn’t stupid. She’s many things, but she’s not stupid, and she wouldn’t have come back here parading her kid around if she wasn’t damn sure she already knew the answer. And with my acceptance came the understanding that Radleigh will have Jayden in his life. That part is fine with me. What’s not fine is him lying. So… whatever you think is going on in my head, you’re wrong. This is solely about Radleigh hiding things. If I can’t trust him to be upfront about something so small, and according to him, insignificant, how am I supposed to trust him with anything? That’s why I need a break. I need him to take a look at what’s going on and think about why he did that.”

Bryce let out a humourless laugh, shaking his head. “Right. So… what? What if this space you’ve given him makes him think he still has feelings for her? What then?”

His words stabbed into my skin like knives and I swallowed hard so I could breathe past the lump in my throat. “If it’s really that easy…if just seeing her makes him re-think how he feels then marrying me would be a huge mistake.” When he didn’t speak for a few moments, I stared at him. “Why are you asking me all this anyway?”

“Because I want you to think about what time apart could do to you both. You give her an opening to get to him and she’ll crawl into it and fuck with his head.”

“And like I said, if he lets her do that, if he lets her in, then he shouldn’t be with me. I can tell you right now, Bryce, there is not another person in the world that could convince me that Radleigh isn’t the person I want to be with. I have loved him since the first time his lips touched mine. I loved him when he tried with everything he had to push me away, and I loved him even when I forced myself to pretend I didn’t. So… if she is important enough to come between everything we have, and if she can really get into his head so fast, what chance do I have whether he’s here or not?”

Blinking to clear the tears that filled my eyes, I picked up my glass, walked across the room and dumped what was left of the wine down the sink before resting my hands on the draining board, my breath coming fast and heavy as I tried to fight off the sick feeling that washed over me.

What if I’m not enough?

Before I knew what was happening, Bryce turned me around and pulled me into his arms again, holding me tight. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

Once again, I clung to him as the tears started to fall. “I’m scared, Bryce. I’m so scared.”

“It’s gonna be okay. Things will work out, just… don’t shut him out, okay?”

“I haven’t. I won’t.”

Chapter Nine – I’m Coming Home

Bryce stayed with me for a couple of hours before heading home, and after he left I felt significantly more hopeful than I had when he’d arrived. I wasn’t mad at him for pushing me so hard. He did it because he didn’t want anything to come between me and Radleigh; he’d been an incredible friend to both of us and although I had my girlfriends, sometimes Bryce was the best person because he knew both Radleigh and me extremely well. Well enough to know when to step in. Before he left, he persuaded me to go to the Warriors match the next day, and I agreed. It would do me good to go outside and face the people. Nobody knew the results of Radleigh’s paternity test yet, and as much as I wanted to hide from it a little longer, my friends would ask and I would have to tell them eventually. Might as well rip off the band-aid.

I left it pretty late to get to the stadium because I wanted to sneak in without it being a big deal. If I’d got there before the match started, Radleigh would have spotted me sitting with my friends on the benches and I didn’t want to distract him. I’d left Jessica with Radleigh’s parents. My plan was to ask Radleigh if he wanted to keep her overnight since he had the next day off work. Maybe it seemed silly since he’d be home again once the weekend was over, but I knew how much he must have missed her, even after only one night. I didn’t want him to feel like I was keeping her away from him. I didn’t want him away from us anymore really, but as much as I wanted him to come home, I still needed a little more breathing space.

“Leah!” Freya hugged me as I perched on the end of bench beside her. “I didn’t know you were coming today.”

“Me neither. Kind of a last minute decision.”

She gave me a soft smile. “I was gonna call you later. I didn’t wanna interrupt anything last night.”

I probably should have called her after Radleigh left to let her and Miguel know the news, but I’d been too busy uncorking the wine and drowning my sorrows. Well, until Bryce stopped me.

I glanced over her head at the people around us. The benches were full of Westberg staff and players, and although they were either engrossed in the game or talking quietly amongst themselves, I didn’t want to go into it with her in front of everyone.

In her eyes, I could see she understood, but she asked me the question with her eyes.
Is Radleigh the father?
I gave a single nod and she gasped, her hand shooting up to cover her mouth.

“I’ll tell you everything later. Are you free after the game? Jessica is with Mitch and Deanna so I’m child free.”

“Are you kidding? If I wasn’t, I’d make time. Genie’s?”

I smiled. It had been a while since I’d been to the surfer bar on the beach near Freya’s apartment. I used to go there a lot when I lived with her, and occasionally we enjoyed their Sunday morning breakfasts if we’d had a heavy night before. “Sounds like a plan.”

I watched the first half of the game with only a fraction of my attention on the pitch. Radleigh had spotted me pretty early on, and he’d given me a kind of relieved smile. Somehow, just that small gesture relaxed me, just as I knew seeing me there had relaxed him too. It was a long forty-five minutes until half time, and I knew I wouldn’t get much time with him, but… I needed to connect with him. I was more than used to spending a night apart from him, but it was easier to handle when he was away for work, and not because things sucked between us. The night before was long and restless, spent wriggling around the bed trying to get comfortable. Impossible. The only thing that would have made the night comfortable was having Radleigh’s arms around me, the two of us holding on to each other in a silent promise that everything would be okay.

As Radleigh came back through the tunnel with his team mates, my heart began to speed up at the sight of him. The other players called out hellos to me as they went into the locker room for the mid-match pep talk, and while I answered them, my focus remained mostly on my man. He didn’t bother to usher me away from the hordes of people swarming around, he just wrapped his arms around me, taking in a long breath as if breathing in my scent. I did the same thing, even though he was hot, sticky and sweaty from running around for the last three quarters of an hour. I didn’t care about any of that, I just held on to him, my head resting against his chest, listening to the pounding of his heart.

“I’m glad you came,” he whispered.

“I just… I needed to see you.”

He smiled down at me. “I missed you, baby.”

“Missed you too.” I let out a sigh. “I’m sorry.”

“What for?”

“For everything that happened yesterday.” I looked up at him. “I stand by what I said about us needing a little breathing room, but I didn’t mean to make you feel like I don’t care about what you’re going through.”

He shook his head. “I don’t feel that way. I’m mad at myself for lying over something so stupid, and if a few days apart is what it takes to get us back where we need to be… it’s okay. I’ve done a lot of thinking since yesterday, and you were right. I do have some stuff to figure out, but it’s not about whether I have feelings for Jen. I don’t. I look at her, and I feel nothing. But I do need to get my head straight because when she’s involved, everything is like a whirlwind. She breezes in, waltzing through everything in her path and then looks back at the mess she’s made with a fucking smile. I can’t let her do that. I need to figure out how to deal with her, with all of this. First on my own, and then with you. Because I don’t want you to ever worry that I feel anything for her but indifference.”

His words should have made me feel better. In his mind, I understood why he thought they would. And I
did
believe him when he said he didn’t feel anything for her, but in his eyes, buried deep, I could see he remembered everything. Everything they went through before. Everything he used to feel.

I reached up and placed my hand on his cheek. “Radleigh, it’s okay to feel whatever you feel. She isn’t just someone you casually dated. Once she meant everything to you and she’s the mother of your child. Your
first
child. I can’t tell you that doesn’t hurt every second of every damn day, but it’s a reality. What I don’t want you to do is pretend. That’s why I wanted us to take this break. I need you to think what you’re thinking and feel what you’re feeling, and… while you’re doing that it’s better that you’re on your own. Just you, with no distractions.”

Radleigh turned his head and placed a kiss on the palm of my hand. “She means nothing, Leah. Nothing. On Monday, I’m coming home and I’m not leaving again.”

Tears stabbed at my closed eyelids but I blinked them away, wishing we could fast forward to a time when all this was settled and our lives made some kind of sense again. My fears eased a little when Radleigh’s lips met mine in a soft, sweet kiss.

“Okay,” I whispered. “Okay.” Taking another deep breath, readying myself to change the subject, I said, “I’ve left Jessica with your parents. I thought, if you’re not doing anything tonight, you could keep her overnight and spend the day with her tomorrow.” He stiffened, and my guard instantly shot up. “What’s wrong?”

He shook his head. “No, nothing’s wrong. I’d love to have her tonight, but… I do have to tell you something.” I said nothing, just watched him shift awkwardly before he began. “Jen wants me to meet Jayden tomorrow.”

Fast mover
. Not that she hadn’t made it clear she wanted this to happen as soon as possible.

“Okay,” I said, trying to control the shakes that were trying to overtake my body. Obviously, I knew it was going to happen, but this was the first step in a massive change in Radleigh’s life, and subsequently mine too.

“Jen said it’s okay if you want to come too.”

My eyes widened. Didn’t see that coming. I couldn’t help but wonder if there was some underlying motive in her generosity, because it seemed to me what she really wanted was to drag Radleigh away and re-plant him in her life.

“Do you want me to come?” I asked, gently.

Radleigh nodded. “I do. But I understand if you’re not ready. I’m not sure
I’m
ready but…”

He didn’t need to finish the sentence. I heard him. Jayden was his son. No matter how much of a shock, he needed to see him.

Running my hands down his arms, I took his hands in mine and squeezed them. “If you want me there, I will be. But, honestly, I think for the first meeting, maybe it’s better if it’s just you.”

Radleigh nodded again, and I watched his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed. “I think you’re probably right.”

“Do you want me to pick Jessica up in the morning, or…?”

“If it’s okay, I’d like to spend the day with her. I won’t be out for long when I meet Jayden. Jen thinks it’s better to keep it short, and I don’t know how long I can handle it for. I’ll leave Jessica with my parents when I go, and I’ll bring her home in the afternoon.”

With a nod, I said, “Okay. That works.”

After staring at me for a moment or two, Radleigh sighed. “There’s one more thing.”

“What is it?”

“Tomorrow is going to be low key, but I’ve had to talk to our PR people because if we’re seen, and we probably will be, questions will be asked. The truth is going to come out and I want you to be prepared. News outlets will probably call the house, they might even be outside and they’ll be looking for a reaction from you. You know the drill; don’t speak to them, and let our management take care of it. Annie said she’ll send extra security over to keep us safe while we’re getting in and out of the house, and there’ll be people stationed at my parents’ place too.”

My heart sank. Obviously, this wasn’t the first time paparazzi had camped outside our house to take photos and intrude on our lives but something told me they would be especially intrusive over this. And it wouldn’t be over in a day, either.

“Okay,” I said. “I’ll be ready for it.”

Radleigh placed his finger under my chin and gently tilted it upwards. “It’ll be okay. I promise.”

With a deep sigh, I nodded. “I know.”

He leaned down and kissed me softly. “I have to go. Will I see you after the game?”

“I’ll be here. I’ve scheduled in some girl time with Freya. We’re gonna go down to Genie’s and catch up.”

Radleigh smiled. “Sounds good.”

“If I don’t see you again today… good luck for tomorrow. I hope it goes well.”

He kissed me again, his lips lingering on mine, and as he pulled away, he looked deep into my eyes as if trying to reassure me. “Thank you. I love you, Leah.”

Closing my eyes, I kissed him one more time. “I love you too.”

**

As it turned out, I didn’t see Radleigh after the match. At least, not to spend any amount of time with. Probably for the best since our last goodbye was awkward and I wanted to avoid going through it again. What I needed more than anything was to hang with Freya. The only thing that would have made it better was if Bree was there, but she was working, so Freya and I entered Genie’s at around five p.m, which was the ideal time of day for a quiet conversation. Most of the beach bums had gone home, and it was still too early for the evening revellers to be out; the place was perfect.

After grabbing a latte each, Freya and I settled into our favourite booth in the back. Freya sat opposite me, her eyes heavy with concern, making me wonder what my own face portrayed. Honestly, I didn’t have the slightest idea how I felt. I was lost somewhere between missing Radleigh, worrying about how he’d get along with Jayden, worrying about whether Jen was playing some kind of game – I mean, asking me to go meet Jayden too? That was way too considerate. The whole situation made me want to throw cocktails down my neck until I didn’t have to deal with it anymore.

“I don’t even know what questions to ask,” Freya said, after a while of just watching me.

I gave a soft laugh. “I’m not sure I’d know how to answer, but I’ll try to explain. We found out yesterday that Jayden is Radleigh’s. Jen was almost giddy with glee, but instead of giving us a second to process, she not-too-subtly dropped in the revelation that she and Radleigh had seen each other the day before. Something he’d failed to mention. And… I pretty much lost my shit and now he’s living with his parents until Monday.”

Freya’s eyes widened. “Whoa. Back up. I… what?”

“Yeah. It’s been a crazy couple of days.”

“Wait. So, first of all… Jayden really is Radleigh’s son? There hasn’t been some horrible mix up?”

I shook my head. “As much as Radleigh tried to tell me it was impossible, I knew. I don’t understand why she waited until now to spring this on him. Maybe I’ll ask her if I can ever stand to be in a room with her for longer than five minutes. It doesn’t really matter, though. What matters is that Radleigh suddenly has another child.”

“And you and he fought about this so badly that he left?”

“Not exactly. I was pissed off with him for lying about seeing Jen, so I told him I needed some space. He offered to leave.”

“Why did he lie?”

“He said it was because he knew I’d be angry, but since I’d already made it blatantly clear how I feel about him hiding things from me, that excuse didn’t work for me.” I sighed, leaning my elbows on the table and resting my head in my hands. “This whole thing is a nightmare, Freya. If some totally random woman had knocked on our door and said Radleigh was the father of her child, it would have sucked but it would have been preferable to Jen.” I looked up at Freya. “She is the devil in Louboutins.”