Final Score: Part One (Game On #5) (5 page)

Kayla nodded slowly. “Yeah, I think I agree.”

“I need to call Izzy and Chrissie, but I’m sure they’ll agree. Chrissie will for sure.”

“I wish the time difference between here and England wasn’t so big.” Kayla frowned as she handed my phone back to me. “I don’t get to talk to Izzy as much as I’d like to.”

I smiled with understanding. The eight hour difference was challenging at times, and there were really only a select few windows of time we could talk. Sometimes this involved my family staying up really late, or getting up really early to talk to me, and vice versa. I’d gotten used to it now, but Kayla clearly hadn’t. Since meeting Isabelle, the two girls had gotten super close. Just as well, since in spite of the obvious potential problems, it looked as though Jesse and Izzy were destined to beat the odds and make their long-distance relationship work. I’d never before seen a couple who were so far apart so dedicated to each other, and so determined to make it last. I was certain that sometime in the next few years I’d be attending their wedding because as young as they were, they both knew what they wanted and that hadn’t faltered the whole time they’d been together.

“Izzy will be back over here soon, right?” I asked.

“Not soon enough,” Kayla grumbled. “She’ll be here for two weeks in July. Although…” she trailed off, and smiled.

“What?”

“I talked to Bree last night and she said maybe we – me, you, Bree, Izzy and Freya – could get together and have a girly day. She said we could try and book a session at the studio she used to work at. Kind of a bridesmaids’ fun photoshoot. I know your sister-in-law won’t be able to come, or your niece, but you could bring Jessica.”

Knowing how Bree was, it would be a little too crazy for a small child, but the idea made me grin. It would be fun to get as many of us together as possible and have a bit of pampering. I knew for sure my stress levels would be higher by July with the wedding getting closer, and Bree and Freya would never turn down the chance to get made up. How we’d make it happen with Freya and Bree working, I wasn’t sure. And maybe even I’d be working again by then. The thought caused my body to jolt a little. Me. Work.

Don’t panic about that just yet.

Smiling up at Kayla, I said, “You know, that sounds good. I’ll talk to Bree about setting it up.”

After spending a little more time discussing all things wedding, Kayla and I headed downstairs to the man cave in the basement to check on the guys. Radleigh’s “man cave” wasn’t really solely for him and his friends to hang out, it was just the name given to the place he could store most of his gadgets and crap we didn’t want cluttering up the living room. Aside from Jessica’s nursery, it was my favourite room in the house. It homed a leather sofa bigger than the one in our lounge, plus three enormous bean bag chairs, and there was also an enormous shaggy rug in the centre of the room for people to sit on when all the seats were taken. The television on the wall could have rivalled any cinema screen, and games consoles and games sat on shelving underneath. At one end of the room was a fully functional bar. Small, but ideal for get togethers. At the other end we had two classic arcade games: Pacman and Space Invaders, and there was also a pool table Radleigh and I most definitely never had sex on…

When Kayla and I entered the basement, Radleigh, Bryce and Jesse were gathered around the Pacman machine, clearly involved in some kind of high score battle as trash talk was flying all over the place, and out of respect for Bryce who was currently taking his turn, Kayla and I sat quietly on the sofa, waiting for them to notice us. In a few minutes, Bryce growled out his annoyance and Jesse slapped him on the back, laughing. “There’s no way you old dudes can beat me on this!”

It was true; he had held the high score for around three months, much to everyone’s frustration.

“We were playing before you were born,” Bryce said.

“But you no longer have the reaction speed to kick my ass!”

Bryce and Radleigh exchanged a look, both of them grinning. “
Shoud
we kick his ass?” Radleigh asked.

Bryce nodded. “Yeah. For the ‘old dudes’ comment, he sure deserves it.”

Jesse backed away as the three of them laughed and they finally noticed Kayla and I, both of us chuckling at their banter. They were like overgrown children when they got together sometimes, but I wouldn’t have had them any other way. Cody had transferred to Denver at the beginning of the new season and that had left them a man down but they seemed to be gelling just fine without him. I’d always liked Cody, but when he’d started dating the cousin of Radleigh’s ex, the infamous Jen, it had made me edgy. Ashley was actually incredibly sweet and had even gone to the trouble of apologising for being related for the woman who had broken Radleigh’s heart, and told me that she didn’t have a whole lot to do with her anymore. Jen had got what she wanted; a man with lots of money who gave her some kids, and she was living the high life in New York. Well, good for her. Perhaps I owed her a favour; if it weren’t for her being a cheating skank, Radleigh wouldn’t be mine now. I wouldn’t have had the life I had.

“How long have you been there?” Radleigh asked, eyeing us. They must have been engrossed in their game for a
long
time.

“Just a few minutes,” I told him. “We thought we’d come down and see what you’re up to.”

Jesse glanced sideways at Radleigh and Bryce. “They’re threatening me. Save me, Leah.”

Bryce and Radleigh did look kind of intimidating beside Jesse; not because they were in any way a threat to him, but because they were so much bigger. Beside them, Jesse really looked his age.

We all laughed and I said, “If you mess with the big boys, you’ve got to be prepared for the consequences.”

Chapter Five – Superficial Decoration

Because Kayla had school the next day, Jesse took her home a little after nine thirty, and Bryce left shortly after, leaving Radleigh and I alone again. Jessica was still fast asleep in her crib, so we curled up together on the sofa, him lying behind me, my back pressed to his chest. His arms were wrapped around me, my hands covering his. We’d had a great evening but my mind was still very much focused on the job offer I’d gotten earlier. Based on Radleigh’s earlier mood, I wasn’t sure this was the right time to bring it up, but leaving it any longer would have felt dishonest. We’d sworn that we would never keep anything from each other again; at least nothing that related to us as a couple. This very much fell into that category.

“I need to talk to you about something,” I said, after mustering up the courage to get the words out. It took a lot because I was almost positive I knew how he’d feel about me going back to work with the Warriors. But the more I’d played it over in my mind, the more sense it made. The more I thought it was worth at least giving it a try.

“What is it?” Radleigh moved one hand up to my face, lifting my hair back over my shoulder and placing a soft kiss on my neck. I closed my eyes, instantly wanting more just from that slight brush of his lips, but I pushed those thoughts aside. I had to focus.

“I didn’t just visit you randomly today.” I shuffled my body around so I could face him. This was not a conversation for him to have with the back of my head.

His eyes narrowed slightly. “What do you mean?”

“Richard called me. He asked me to go see him.”

“Why?”

“Because… he wanted to offer me my old job back. Johnny handed in his notice.”

“He wants you to come back on the team?”

I nodded. “He told me to think about it, and I know it’s a huge thing to consider but… I kind of want to go back.”

His arms loosened around me a little and I sat up. “Full time?” he asked, and again, I nodded.  “I thought you… I mean, we talked about this over and over, Leah. You said you wanted to stay at home with Jessica.”

“I did. I do. But… it’s just… it’s hard being here all day. Pretty much everyone I know works for the Warriors, and those who don’t work elsewhere. I don’t know any other mums to hang out with yet, so it’s just me and Jessica a lot of the time, and I love that. But sometimes…”

“What? This isn’t enough for you?” He gestured around the room, as if our incredible house represented everything I should have wanted from my life. Perhaps it should have. And in many ways it did. But when it came down to it, the house was just bricks. What mattered was the people inside it, and if they weren’t happy, everything else was nothing more than superficial decoration.

I shook my head. “That’s not what I said and it’s not what I meant. I have everything I’ve ever wanted, Radleigh. I have you and we have Jessica. But at times, it’s like I’ve lost myself a little. I love being a mum and I can’t wait to be your wife. I’m just considering that there are other options. I don’t have to
just
be Jessica’s mum or your wife. I could work again.”

“And what would we do with Jessica while we’re both at work? While we’re both on the road?”

“We could hire someone to watch her or…” I stopped abruptly, not wanting to confess I’d spoken to his mother about this first.

“Or what?”

I got to my feet and Radleigh sat up straight, waiting for my answer.

“Your mum said-”

“You talked to my mom about this?” He stood up too, pacing the room. “For God’s sakes, Leah! You didn’t come to me to discuss this. You’ve obviously already made the decision!”

“I haven’t,” I said, reaching out to stop him pacing, but he shrugged my hand off. “Radleigh, come on. Why is this such a big issue for you anyway? This is just an idea right now.”

“It’s more than an idea if you’ve figured out all the answers before talking to me about it.”

“You’re not being fair. If I’d tried to talk to you without considering the problems that would have been wrong too.”

He stopped, glaring at me for reading him so well. He wasn’t mad at me for thinking ahead, he was mad at me for springing this on him out of nowhere.

“Radleigh, please listen to me. I know this is sudden. I know I haven’t mentioned wanting to go back to work before, and the truth is, I hadn’t really considered it. I said I wanted to be here for Jessica and that’s what I wanted to do. I’m not saying that has to change, I’m just asking how you feel about it.”

For a moment my words hung in the air and I held my breath, waiting to see if he would calm down and listen or continue to yell. With a sigh, he sank back onto the sofa. “I don’t like it.”

His words were spoken, not shouted, but even though he’d said he didn’t like it, his tone told me he was willing to discuss it, and my muscles slowly unclenched.

“Tell me why?” I asked, softly.

“You know why. For all the reasons we talked about before.”

All the reasons I was hesitant.
Because we wanted Jessica to have a life that didn’t involve both of her parents working all the time in jobs that took them away from home. Because we didn’t want strangers taking care of her. Because me being at home was what we’d both agreed.

I took a step towards him. “I know. But you have to understand, no matter how much I love Jessica, I still need something for me. Something that means I have things to talk about other than Jessica. Our friends adore her but they don’t want to hear baby talk all the time, and I don’t want to only talk about that. I miss having things to say that don’t revolve around the inside of this house.”

“We’re supposed to do what’s best for Jessica, not what’s best for you.”

His words hit me like a fist to the face. “Did you just accuse me of being selfish?”

Was
I being selfish? Maybe. But whether I’d realised it or not, the things I’d said were all true. I loved my life but I did miss adult conversation; conversation that centred around more than Jessica’s daily routine.

Radleigh stared at me. After a moment he shook his head. “I’m sorry. That wasn’t fair. Selfish is the last thing you are.” He held his hand out to me and pulled me on to his lap, wrapping his arms around me. “I’m just surprised, that’s all.”

“Me too. I didn’t see this coming either.” I kissed him lightly on the lips. “If you really, really hate the idea of me going back to work, I won’t. But I’d like us to think about it.”

“We can.” Radleigh pulled me in closer. “But with the wedding coming up and… earlier you said we could talk about having another baby-”

“Is that what this is about?” I wrapped my arms around his neck, searching his eyes for the truth. A little like earlier, when he’d avoided my gaze, I couldn’t read him properly at first. But then he nodded, and his eyes sparkled.

“Partly. I want us to have the big family we both said we wanted. I know Jessica isn’t even a year old yet, but she soon will be and what if we’re not so lucky the next time we try? What if it takes longer to get pregnant?”

A smile tugged at the corners of my lips. On rare occasions, Radleigh’s strong façade dropped and the real reason I fell in love with him shone through. This guy who was concerned about our family was the guy I fell in love with. The guy who had flipped out wore a mask to hide the fact that he actually had feelings. After all the time we’d been together, he should have been okay with throwing that mask away because he knew I could see through it anyway.

“I want that too,” I told him. “And when the wedding’s over, yes, we can talk about having another baby. But I’m not sure we’re ready just yet. You know how tiring it is with just one. Jessica is better than I could have hoped for when it comes to sleeping, but we’re still tired a lot of the time because having a child is hard work. What if next time we get one that screams all night long? No two kids are ever the same, and I don’t know if we’re ready to face any potential challenges yet.”

“But if you go back to work, maybe you’ll feel like we’re never going to be ready. It’ll always be something. There’ll always be a reason why we shouldn’t try for another.”

I nodded. “That’s true. But I am promising you right now that no matter what decisions we make about me going back to work, we will have more children. And if I have to give it up again, I will. If things don’t work out with me being back at Westberg, I’ll stop. I’d just like a chance to go back to the job I loved.”

Radleigh and I talked things through for a long time. After we both laid out our concerns, we agreed that I’d talk to Richard again about the possibility of him getting a temp in for the rest of the season because working and planning a wedding would be a challenge, and me rejoining the team next year on a part time basis. Part time was the ideal compromise for me. It meant I could go back to work without feeling like a terrible person for palming Jessica off on my in-laws five or six days a week.

We went to bed happy with our decision, and as I lay beside him, arms and legs entwined, I let out a contented sigh. I loved that whatever life threw at us now, we faced it head on together. No more dishonesty, no more pretending.