Final Score: Part One (Game On #5) (4 page)

Chapter Four – You’ve Got To Be Prepared For The Consequences

“Oh my God, Leah.” Deanna stared at my wedding dress, tears filling her eyes. “It’s beautiful.”

I’d laid it out on her bed for her to see and we were both mesmerised by its beauty. I still couldn’t believe it was mine, and that in four months I’d be wearing it to marry Radleigh. Butterflies flapped around my stomach as I closed my eyes, picturing myself in the stunning gown, walking down the aisle towards him. Sometimes it still floored me to think this was really happening.

The dress had brought Bree, Freya and I to tears when we found it in one of the many shops we’d been to. I’d always heard that you just know when you’ve found the right wedding dress, and that had certainly been the case for me. I saw it amongst all the others and it made me shiver a little as I touched it for the first time. But it wasn’t until I tried it on that I truly knew. It was dainty and classic, the kind that could be handed down through generations; pretty without being over the top. The white dress was embroidered with the most stunning floral detail that ran from the V-shaped neck down to my hips, and then down the front and half way down the back of the train. It wasn’t a huge meringue-type train but a soft floaty train. The dress hugged my figure for the most part, but was looser at the bottom, giving me room to move my legs. The shoulder straps were made from delicate white lace and the back was open, with tiny white buttons to fasten it up the bottom of my spine.

I nodded and smiled. “I can’t wait to wear it.”

Deanna turned to me, shaking her head in amazement. “It’s so perfect for you.”

“I know. I couldn’t wait to get over here to show you.”

She smiled, pulling me into a hug, and a happy sigh left my lips. “You’ve been a part of the family since the moment Radleigh brought you home, but I’m so proud that I’ll soon be able to officially call you my daughter-in-law.”

A tear slipped down my cheek – clearly my emotions were all over the place. “Thank you. I can’t wait either.”

Deanna was the best mother-in-law I could have asked for. As much as I loved my mum, we were never as close as I hoped we’d be. She never understood me, or my need to break out of life in the remote Cornish village I’d grown up in. She was a homebody, loving life in the English countryside, and I’d wanted… more. I wanted everything I now had. Deanna
got
me. She didn’t try to make me fit into a mould. While my own mother had tried to make me feel guilty for wanting to break away, Deanna understood and encouraged me to be who I am.

“Look at us getting all emotional.” Deanna laughed, wiping away a tear as she let go of me. “If this is how we are now, we’re going to be a mess on the day!”

“I know.” I chuckled. “I’ve already told Bree my make-up needs to be waterproof otherwise I’ll look like some kind of zombie when I walk down the aisle!”

“Bree’s very talented. How’s her new job going?”

I smiled. “It’s great. I think she’s actually a little sad she’ll have to give it up for a while when the baby comes.”

That was an understatement. She’d recently begun working at a small television studio, applying make-up to local news reporters so they looked flawless on camera. She still worked occasionally at the photography studio where she’d once done work experience, too. Her ambition was to work on movie sets, and with her skills, I figured she’d achieve that dream with ease.

“So she’s going back to work when the baby’s born?” Deanna asked, as, with a sigh, we began carefully putting my wedding dress back inside its protective cover.

The question hit me harder than it should have in light of my conversation with Richard. Deanna’s question was conversational rather than judgemental, but I couldn’t help but wonder about her opinion of working mums.

“Yeah, she is.” I carefully slid the zip up, watchful not to snag the material. “I think she spent so long not working that even with a baby, she’d still prefer to at least work part time. She really loves her job.”

“Good for her.” Deanna smiled as I handed her my now fully enclosed dress. She turned and headed for her walk-in wardrobe to hang it up, and raised her voice so I could hear her from the depths of the closet. “Seems like working was the best thing she ever did. I can understand why she wouldn’t want to give it up completely. Besides, she’s not the kind of girl who should be stuck at home waiting for her husband to come home. She’s got way too much personality to waste it lounging around the house.”

I laughed as Deanna came back into the bedroom. “You’re right about that. But… do you think… I mean, I know it’s not wrong for women to work when they have kids, it’s just…” I trailed off, unsure how to end the sentence. Shaking my head, I said, “It doesn’t matter.”

Deanna tilted her head to one side. “Do you want to talk about something?”

“I don’t know. I should probably talk to Radleigh first, I guess.”

She knew me too well. My hesitation was genuine, but we both knew I could trust her not to tell him anything I divulged, so she smiled and walked towards me, resting a hand on my shoulder. “Come on. It’s time for coffee, pastries and a talk.”

I nodded. I popped my head into Jessica’s room – yes, although she rarely stayed over, Deanna and Mitch had given her her own room, and since she was asleep, I’d placed her in her crib so she’d be more comfortable. I scooped up the baby monitor and we went downstairs to the kitchen.

Within a few minutes, Deanna had made the coffee and put our pastries on plates. We sat down at the kitchen table and tucked in.

“So, what’s going on?” Deanna asked in between mouthfuls of pastry.

“It’s not really a big deal until I figure out what I want, and if it would even work, but… Richard offered me my old job back.”

Deanna’s eyes widened. “That’s a pretty big deal.”

I shrugged. “It is and it isn’t. I love that he asked me but I’m not sure if it’s the right thing to do. I feel guilty for even considering it, to be honest.”

“Why?”

“Because the job involves so much time away from home. It would mean leaving Jessica for a couple of nights every couple of weeks or so for most of the year. It would mean not being able to put her to bed every single night, and just… not being there for her all the time like I swore I would.”

“You want the job?”

I blew out a breath. “I’m not sure. I haven’t had enough time to process it just yet.” I looked up Deanna. “I loved working for the Warriors. Loved the job and the people and the travelling. But things aren’t the way they used to be. Before, I was free to do all those things because I didn’t have a family to think of. It was just me. Now there are a lot of things to consider.”

Deanna smiled. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

I shook my head. “I’m a terrible person, aren’t I? First hint of a job offer and I’m ready to throw away all the promises I made to myself and to Jessica and Radleigh. I want to be good mum to her.”

“Being a good mom doesn’t mean you can’t have a career. You can do both.”

“I don’t know if
I
can. Not with this job. I also don’t know if I could stand leaving her. Saturday night was amazing, and it was
so
good to have some time with just with Radleigh, but I missed her so much. And then there’s the drama of finding someone we trust to take care of her.”

And who I can trust not to hit on Radleigh.
I didn’t mean to sound paranoid, but I read the newspapers. I’d seen stories of childminders hired to look after the children of famous people who abused their position. Whether it was by hitting on the father of said children, or stealing things from the house, or making up horrendous accusations about the family who paid their wages. I liked to think the drama in our lives was over. Could I really consider inviting more in?

“We’ll take her, Leah,” Deanna said. “Mitch and I promised you we’d do whatever we could to help you, and we love having her here. So… if that’s one of the things that’s worrying you, please don’t.”

I’d never loved her more than in that moment, and I reached over and squeezed her hand. “Thank you. I appreciate that. But it is a lot to ask of you.”

She smiled. “It’s no trouble at all. Just take some time to really think this through before making any decisions. But don’t let a misplaced sense of guilt colour your choice. If you want to go back to work, do it.”

I really thought about what Deanna said for the rest of the day. She was right, as always. I shouldn’t let my fears about how I’d be perceived, or how I would perceive myself, dictate what I chose to do. Of course I could go to work and still be a good mother. I could make it work if that was what I wanted. And the more I thought about it, the more I thought it would be great. To be back in the job I’d loved more than any other, with my best friends. Plus, in a weird way, being on the road again would give Radleigh and I more time just for us. In between work, we’d have time to sit down and have dinner together, and we’d have more nights like Saturday night – just the two of us with no interruptions.

I needed to talk to Radleigh about everything but it would have to wait until much later. We had guests, and when Radleigh and Bryce walked through the door it was immediately clear he wasn’t in the mood for talking. He wandered into the living room to kiss me on the cheek, but his posture was all wrong - his face stony, his jaw tense. His dark hair was spiked up at the front as if he’d just run his fingers through it.

“Are you okay?” I asked, uncurling my legs from beneath me and placing the magazine I was reading on the sofa beside me.

He forced a smile that didn’t reach his eyes and nodded. “Yeah. Fine.”

He didn’t look directly at me, but before I could question him further, he turned and left the room. My eyes followed him then landed on Bryce who stood just outside the door, his dark eyebrows drawn together.

“What the hell?” I asked, standing up.

Bryce shrugged. “I’ve no idea. He was fine all day, then we showered and changed and he got out before me, and when I joined him outside… he looked like he wanted to murder someone. I asked him what was up and he just got in the car. Hasn’t said a word.”

My eyes narrowed. Radleigh could be a moody git at times, but not so moody that his attitude changed in the time it took for him to shower and change. And if something
was
bothering him, he would almost always tell either me or Bryce, so the fact that he was being grumpy with both of us took me by surprise.

“Take a seat,” I said, nodding towards the living room. “I’ll go check on him. Do you want something to drink?”

“A coffee would be good.” Bryce rested a supportive hand on my shoulder before I headed to the kitchen. The smell of the roast beef I was cooking wafted down the hallway, making my stomach grumble and I hoped Jesse and Kayla wouldn’t be too long because I was starving. Radleigh was leaning against the kitchen table, a half empty bottle of water in his hand. He stiffened as I walked over to him and rested my hands on his waist. He still wouldn’t meet my eye.

“What’s going on?” I asked, slipping my arms around him. I tilted my head up in the hopes he’d acknowledge me, but he didn’t make any move to touch me or look at me.

“Nothing’s going on.”

“Radleigh, come on.”

“It’s just been a long day, that’s all.” Finally, he lowered his gaze to me and as his eyes met mine he gave me a small smile, a little more genuine than the last. With a sigh, he placed his free hand on my cheek before sliding it to the back of my neck, my own tension lessening ever so slightly with his movement. “Sorry for being a grouch.” He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine.

I could still feel my eyebrows pulling together in confusion, but I kissed him back, glad he’d at least partially snapped out of his weird funk.

“I’m going to make some coffee,” I said, and Radleigh shook his head.

“I’ll do it. You carry on with dinner. Jesse and Kayla will be here soon.”

“Thank you.” I placed another kiss on his lips just as the doorbell rang, signalling their arrival, and I smiled. “I’ll get the door first.”

Thankfully, Radleigh’s mood fully shifted over the course of dinner; apparently food and fun with his friends was enough to cast away whatever had bothered him earlier. Once we’d eaten, Kayla and I left the boys to do the washing up, and we went upstairs to talk bridesmaids’ dresses.

The two of us sat on my bed and Kayla was practically giddy with excitement. I chuckled at her enthusiasm as she grappled my phone from my hands to look at the photos from my shopping excursion with Freya and Bree. Kayla was sixteen now, and getting more beautiful every day. Not only that though, she’d grown a lot from the shy, under-confident girl I’d first met. I knew this was, in part, thanks to Bree’s influence on her. Much to Bree’s amusement, Kayla looked on her as a role model, and watching Bree transform from housewife to make-up artist seemed to have inspired Kayla.

“This is so unfair,” Kayla said, scrolling through the photos we’d taken of our favourite dresses. “How am I supposed to choose?” She looked up, her face serious. “I’d like to recommend all of them, and we just change through the day so we get to show them all off.”

I laughed out loud. Yeah, she was starting to sound like Bree too. “I think Radleigh might kill me if I spent that much money on dresses.” He was generous with the budget but with seven bridesmaids and five favourite outfits, he’d most certainly think we’d taken things a few steps too far. “If it helps, we all liked the purple and blue the best?”