Finding You (13 page)

Sometime in the wee hours before dawn he carried her to his room and laid her down in his bed. 

“Don’t leave me Nova.” 

His words were barely above a whisper but their meaning was as loud as if he had screamed them. 

“I’m right here Ian, you just have to let me in.” 

Her curled her into him and let out a breath that seemed to carry the weight of the world with it.  “I have never wanted to let anyone in before Nova, not until you.”

She kissed his chest.  This big strong man was crumbling at her touch.  She lifted her head and looked at him.  He had made her feel safe, she needed to do the same.  “I won’t judge you Ian. No matter what it is, I won’t run away from you.”

He stared at her.  It was the most honest and vulnerable she had ever seen him. 

Finally, he spoke.

“I had a twin brother, did you know that?”

He had never mentioned any family and I had never asked but I didn’t miss that he referred to him in past tense.  “No.”

“His name was Brandon.  He died when we were twelve.”

“You must have been really close to him?”

He smiled. “Yeah.  Brandon and I were identical in almost every way possible.  We were inseparable.  We shared the same room even finished each other sentences.”

My heart broke for him but I had to ask. “What happened to him?” 

His lips pressed thin, the smile no longer there.  “My father killed him.”

I thought my heart was going to come out of my mouth.  I tried not to gasp but I couldn’t help it.  “Oh my God Ian!  What happened?”

He cast a glance at me.  His eyes searching for some reassurance that I wasn’t going to hurt him, that I wouldn’t judge him.  I crawled behind him holding him in my arms.  I kissed his head, his hair, down the side of his neck.  He needed to know he was safe and I pulled him as close to me as I could.  I relaxed my grip only after I felt his breathing relax.

“My grandfather was Norman Strong, a steel industrialist and self-made millionaire.  He was a complete rags to riches story, worked for everything he had.  My grandfather died when my dad was twenty two and left everything to him.  He was an only child.  My dad expanded the business and dabbled in the shipping industry transforming my grandfather’s millions into billion’s.”

Holy shit.
  “Wow Ian, I had no idea.”

“My dad was a good man when we were little.  He adored us and my mom but when Brandon and I turned eight something started changing.  His personality changed into something dark.  That year he beat my mom for the first time.  I honestly can’t tell you what it was that set him off but after that he was like a short fuse on a bomb.  Eventually his brutality moved towards me and Brandon. One night he came home in a drunken rampage.  My mom told me and Brandon to run and hide.  She always protected us.  We listened as he screamed at her. She usually tried to lead him away from wherever we were hiding but that night her voice started getting closer to us. 

We were hiding in an upstairs linen closet.  When Brandon heard him hit her he went to her rescue.  My dad pushed him down and I ran after him because I knew he would only make it worse on my mom but my mom started hitting my dad trying to fight him off Brandon and in a fraction of second my dad pushed her and she and Brandon both fell down the staircase.”

My heart raced as I listened.  

“Brandon broke his neck in the fall.  He was killed instantly and my mother…the fall broke both of her legs. She has to walk with a cane now.”

I pulled him close.  He didn’t need my sympathy.  He just needed me to hold him. 

“My dad made life hell for me after that.”

“Why?” I asked not at all understanding him.

“I don’t know why he blamed it on me.  Maybe I was just the face of a son he buried.  A constant reminder of what he had done.  Maybe it was because he hated me.  I honestly don’t know.”

“Where are your mom and dad now?”

“My mom is in New York.  She lives in our family home.  My dad died just before I graduated from Harvard.  I decided to stay in Boston instead of going back to New York.  That same year I sold off several of his businesses and turned around and invested the money in I.S.C.  I built I.S.C on my own.”

“I honestly didn’t recognize you when I met you at the club.  I never put two and two together until I went with you to your office.  I can’t tell you how inspiring you are to me.  You built a company right out of Harvard which is now a billion dollar company.  That’s not an easy feat you know.”

He seemed completely unaffected by his success.

“Business is easy for me Nova.  I guess it’s in my blood.”

“No Ian.  You’re a fighter.  There is a huge difference.  You persevered.  I.S.C is your accomplishment.  You succeeded on your own and that’s what matters.”

He pulled my legs around his waist. “A fighter, I like the sound of that.”

I crawled out from behind him and straddled his waist.  “We are both fighters Ian.  That’s how we survive.  That’s how we
have
survived.”

He sat up and pressed his face against my chest.  “Nova, why do you see me for my strengths and not for my many weaknesses?”

“Because if I didn’t, how could I stand and look at myself in the mirror.”

I pulled him close against my chest resting my chin on his shoulder.  I traced the tattoo with my finger.  “What does the tattoo mean, Ian?”

I felt him tense. 

“It’s a reminder.”

“A reminder of what?”

“Between me and Brandon, I always thought I was the stronger one.  I wasn’t though.  Brandon stood up for my mom that night when I wanted us to hide.  He died trying to protect her while I did nothing but watch my dad push them.”

“You are using the snake as a metaphor?  You think that’s what you are, evil for not protecting them?”

“It is what I am Nova.  Even after Brandon died, I kept my mouth shut.  I never told on my dad.  Brandon was my brother and my best friend, I should have told the truth after he died.  I should have protected him.”

Oh God,
she thought.  “You are so wrong Ian.  The tattoo is only your perception.  It’s how you have dealt with the pain.  You were a little boy Ian.  You weren’t programmed to defend.  None of us are at that age and it didn’t make you any less of a person because you didn’t tell.  None of us want our deepest, darkest secrets out there for the world to judge us.”

“I told you that Hartsen wasn’t the only monster in the club.  Do you believe me now?”

I pulled his face right in front of me.  “You aren’t a monster.  The only monsters are that son of a bitch in Georgia and that pathetic excuse of a father that you had.  Don’t let yourself believe any less.  If you do,
they
win.”

The next day sitting in class proved to be a challenge for my still stinging ass.  Every time I shifted positions I had a constant reminder of the confession he drug out of me.  I wasn’t sure what it said about me that I liked being punished by him but one thing I did know, Ian loved it just as much as I did.  Maybe we were just two fucked up people who managed to wind up in the same boat but as I thought of how he made love to me after, there wasn’t another boat on this earth that I would rather be in. 

We didn’t speak about it this morning but things had changed between us last night.  This was becoming more than we had set it up to be.  Even though I was too afraid to say the words, I was falling in love with Ian and I desperately hoped that when he asked me not to leave him that he meant it.   The idea of walking out of his house, out of his life when our contract ended was more than I could handle. 

I was a mess of emotions, optimistic that my feelings for him weren’t one sided, scared to death of what I would do if they were, angry that his father had hurt him.  It made me wish he was still alive so I could hunt him down.  I had no doubt that I could figure out how to hide a body.

Worst of all was the guilt I felt for keeping my secret from him
.
Even though our conversation was just a condensed version of what he could comfortably confess it still meant something to me that he trusted me enough to tell me something that I was sure no one else knew.  I didn’t really know if I could ever confess everything to him, maybe that was wrong but what I did know was that I risked losing him if I told him the truth and my heart was too invested now to chance it.   

My phone whistled the minute I walked out of class. 

Ian:
How is your pretty little ass feeling today?

I couldn’t help but smile.

Nova:
Lesson learned, sir.

I waited in the hall for a few minutes but he didn’t reply so I walked outside heading towards my car.  The air was warming up.  April was on us.  It made me happy for spring.  I loved the spring and summer in Boston. 

My phone whistled again. 

Ian:
Have I ever told you what a beautiful smile you have?

I looked up.  The Porsche was pulled in next to my car and Ian was propped against the back of it, phone in hand.  I felt the smile on my face widen and I picked up my pace to get to him. 

“What are you doing here,” I asked puzzled that he was standing in front of me in faded jeans and a t-shirt.  Where was the business man?

“If I had known you would have looked so happy to see me I would have done this before.” 

I melted into his arms. No way was I telling him the truth, this felt too good to give up.

I heard a few giggles and turned to see some girls from my class staring at me and Ian. 

“Do you always draw this much attention,” I asked nuzzling my head into his neck?

“It’s just the car sweetheart.”

“Yah, right,” I said playfully pushing him away.

He glanced at the girls then run his hand under the back of my hair and pulled me to him.  For one second I thought I saw Seven but before I could stop to reanalyze his eyes he engulfed me in the most passionate kiss.  I heard the girl’s huff and the sound of their feet as they hurried away. 

“Wow,” I said when he finally let go of me.

“Nothing wrong with an audience sweetheart.” 

Yep, definitely Seven
.  “If I had known, I could have worn my short skirt and let you bend me over in the parking lot.”

An unmistaken fire burned through his eyes.  Rolling his hips against mine, I whimpered.  He was hard as steel and I was taunting him in the middle of a parking lot, not very smart on my part.  Finally releasing me he kissed me on the tip of my nose. “I think I may be corrupting you baby.”

And just like that, Seven was gone.  Seemingly I was a little relieved. 

“So you still haven’t told me why you are here.  Who is running the empire?”

Pinching me on my sore butt, I yelped as he ushered me around to the passenger side.  “I decided while I was sitting at my desk today that I don’t take advantage of one of the perks in being the boss.”

I laughed at that.  “I don’t know Ian, getting to fuck on your desk is a pretty good boss perk.  I don’t think you can get away with that sort of thing if you worked in the mail room.”

He smiled.  “Be careful sweet heart or I will put that desk in my office and your sweet little ass will be parked right next to me all day except when you are in class.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Back to the perks of being the boss.  Taking the day off just because I can is a perk I never take advantage of.” 

“So today you decided to take the day off?”

Opening the door he motioned for me to get inside. “Come on baby.  I have plans for you.”

“What about my car?”

“I’ll have it picked up for you and brought back to the house.”

We left Cambridge and went back to Boston.  He refused to tell me what he was up too until we got back to the city. 

“How do you feel about surprises Nova?”

I furrowed my brow.  “I don’t know,” I answered reluctantly.

“It’s not a difficult question.  Either you like them or you don’t.”

“I don’t really know how I feel about it because I don’t think I have ever had a surprise.”

My response wasn’t meant to pain him but I saw in his eyes that it did.  I was just trying to be honest with him.

“You’re out of school next week aren’t you?”

“Oh my God, please tell me you aren’t serious about putting me a desk in your office.”  Certainly he wouldn’t.  He had to know he wouldn’t get any work done and my ass couldn’t take daily punishments if I messed up.

Starting the engine, he turned to back out and gave me a devilish smile.  “Actually I had something else in mind.  How about you and I take a trip down to the Keys for a few days?”

I went completely giddy.  “Are you serious,” I asked almost bouncing in my seat.

“Well that was easy baby!”

“Don’t make fun.  I love the beach.”

“Good, because you and I have our own private island next week.”  

“Really?” I was completely shocked.

“Sweetheart, I couldn’t risk having our neighbors hearing you scream from all the things I am going to do to you so I thought it best to put you and me on an island all by ourselves.”

“Why the decision for us to take a trip?  You said yourself you are always at work.”

“You have been with me a month.  I thought I would reward you since we tend to spend a lot of time punishing your little indiscretions.”

The wicked smile on his face made me wet instantly.  Had we not pulled up outside a spa I would have crawled over the arm rest and figured out how to make the best of the confines of the Porsche. 

He turned the engine off bringing my attention back to something other than me pulling off my clothes.  I stared at the sign.  “What are we doing here?”

“How do you feel about hair?”

“What?” I asked staring back at him for clarification.

“I personally think it’s over rated.”

“What?  I wax all the time Ian.”

“Baby, I want all of it gone.”

He got out and opened my door.  I protested walking in the door of the spa but as soon as smiling faces welcomed us in, I quieted down. 

“Ms. Drake, I presume.”

“Yes,” I replied trying to offer up a fake smile instead of the daggers I wanted to shoot from my eyeballs at Ian.   

“Both of you follow me.”

I turned to Ian and whispered.  “You aren’t coming with me are you?”

“Just another perk of being the boss sweetheart.”

In the four minutes she gave me to get undressed and on the table Ian and I bantered back and forth about whose decision it was on me having hair or not. 

“It’s mine Nova.  Did you forget that?”

“No,..but!”

“But nothing, I want it as smooth as your sweet little ass.”

“Wait, how about if we at least leave a little landing strip,” I protested as the lady walked back in.

He leaned down and whispered in my ear.  “Baby I know where to land.  I don’t need a strip to guide me in.”

I leaned back on the table.  If this wasn’t going to be humiliating enough, him making me wet would only add to my humiliation. 

“So what would you like today Ms. Drake?”

I looked back at Ian with one last begging gaze and when she turned around to check the wax he mouthed, “Mine.”

I threw me head back on the table and covered my eyes.  “Take it all.”