First and Only: Callaghan Brothers, Book 2 (28 page)

“Hey, Aidan,” she greeted when she spotted him at the door.  “What are you doing here?  I called for Fritz.”

The other man nodded.  “I know.  Fritz is off today, his wife’s home in bed with the flu, so I’ll be your ride.”

“Oh, that’s too bad,” Lexi said with genuine concern in her voice.  “I’ll make her some soup later.”

“I’m sure she’d like that.”

Feeling like the odd man out, Ian shifted slightly.  “Going somewhere?”

“Yes, actually,” Lexi answered without looking at him.  “There’s plenty of milk in the fridge.  I left a big bottle out on the counter.  It’s still warm.”  She took Patrick from Ian’s arms and rubbed her nose into his neck, making him giggle.  “Be good for daddy, sweetie.  Mommy will be home soon.”

“Where are you going?” Ian asked, hating the needy undertone of his voice.

“I have a few appointments.  Should be back by dinner.”

Ian glanced at the clock.  It was barely nine a.m.  “What appointments?  There’s nothing on your calendar.”  He knew, because he had looked.  Worried that Lexi might try to do too much too soon, he had taken it upon himself to ensure that did not happen.  Thankfully, he had found an ally in Aidan, who handled the business side of things.

Without answering, she handed Patrick back to Ian and looked at Aidan.  “I’m ready.  Let’s go.” 

“Lex –“ said Ian, but she was already out the door.  Ian turned to Aidan.  “What the hell was that all about?”

“Not sure.  But shot in the dark?  Lexi’s pissed.”

Ian nodded, barely managing to bite off the “no shit, Sherlock” comment before it made it past his lips.  “What appointments does she have today?”

Aidan shrugged apologetically.  “That, I honestly don’t know.  But when I heard Lex had called for Fritz, I figured something was up.  Don’t worry, Ian.  I’ll keep her out of too much trouble.”

And
that
grated against Ian’s nerves like steel wool on his skin.  Aidan shouldn’t have to be doing anything of the sort.  That was
his
job. 

“Maybe you should keep an eye on Patrick,” Ian said, surprising himself.  Aidan was probably the only person outside of his own family that he would trust with his son.  The man had proven himself more than enough over the past seven months.  “Let me take Lexi wherever she needs to go.”

“Do I
look
stupid to you?” Aidan said.  Then he shook his head.  “You still don’t get it, do you?”  Opening the door, he took one step into the hallway.  “But honestly, Callaghan, I hope you figure it out soon, because I don’t think either one of you is going to make it through another one, and you’ve got the kid to think about now.”

Stunned, Ian stood in silence as he watched Aidan insert his private key and step into the elevator.  Lexi was already long gone, no doubt waiting in the sleek limo.  As he closed the door, Patrick grabbed tightly onto his hair and pulled until Ian gently disentangled his fingers. 

“Yeah, I get it little man.  You’re hungry.  And Daddy’s an idiot.  Come on.  At least I know how to fix one of those things.  You might have to help me with the rest, though.”

With a smack of his little hand against Ian’s jaw and little gurgle of agreement, they headed for the kitchen.

* * *

“A
lright, Alexis.  You may get dressed now.”  Dr. Elena McKenzie put her hand lightly on Lexi’s shoulder, the slight crackling of the paper gown as loud as an Alaskan avalanche in the quiet space.  

Lexi sat up, holding the gown in place, which seemed kind of silly, really.  The doctor had just performed a thorough exam; there was nothing she hadn’t already seen.  It made about as much sense as folding her underwear and hiding it between the other articles of clothing when she undressed, yet she always felt a strange, prudish compulsion to do so.

She dressed quietly behind the silk paneled screen, hand-painted with a landscape scene while recessed lighting radiated a light, warm glow.  All around her, the walls were a brushed hue of – well, it was hard to describe, really.  Something between orange and pink, Lexi guessed, a solid attempt to recreate the hue of a perfect sunset, she supposed.  Soft classical music played in the background.  Water flowed gently over plates of colored glass in one of those zen-based sculptures, no doubt designed to instill a sense of calm and tranquility, just like every other feature of the room.  No sterile white walls and hard-on-your-butt exam tables here; it was first class all the way.  Considering that each office visit sucked a nice four digits out of Lexi’s bank account, it should be.

“Well?”  Lexi tried not to fidget, but it was difficult.  The doc had her head bent down over some device that looked like what an iPad wanted to be when it grew up.  As the specialist other specialists deferred to, Lexi had come to expect nothing but the best from Doc McKenzie – in everything.

Dr. McKenzie looked up.  It was a slight glance – her head didn’t move, only her eyes – but Lexi suddenly felt like a child about to be scolded.  After an eternity, the rest of the doc’s head followed.  The flat digital screen was placed on the carved mahogany desktop.

“I’m sorry,” Lexi said, the words coming out in a rush.  “I just – well, I –“.

If the doctor had a surprised look, Lexi knew she was witnessing it right then, though beyond the very slight rise of an eyebrow, there was little to distinguish it from any other.  This woman was the epitome of professionalism, her implacable face rarely giving anything away.  Lexi felt herself redden under her gaze, feeling more like an impatient child than ever.

“This is not like you, Alexis,” the woman said, her voice as smooth as the glass in her tranquility fountain, an unusual accent slightly coloring the enunciation, “to be so impatient.  Something has changed in your situation, has it not?”

Hell, yes
.  “My - ”, she started, then faltered.  How exactly should she refer to Ian?  What reference would be appropriate here?  Boyfriend sounded so juvenile in this distinguished space, and he really didn’t fit that mold anyway.  Husband was an even further stretch.  Every word she came up with seemed just as inadequate.  Friend? 
Um, no
.  Acquaintance? 
Uh-uh.
  Love of my life?  Soul mate?  Accurate, but probably not appropriate. 

“Patrick’s father is in town,” she blurted out finally.  Yeah, that would work.  The small sentence got a full quarter-inch tilt from the eyebrow.  Big-time stuff.

“Ah, I am beginning to comprehend.  He knew not of the little prince until recently.”  Lexi nodded, feeling a brief, momentary vibe of disapproval from the doctor before the atmosphere leveled out again. “And now?  How does he perceive the situation?”

Such an odd way of asking, Lexi thought, wondering for the hundredth time exactly from where the enigmatic Elena McKenzie had come.  Her manner of speaking, the slightest hint of an unidentifiable accent – it all gave Lexi the impression that the doctor was originally from somewhere in Eastern Europe, but she’d been unable to pin it down to one specific region.   

At least she could answer the doctor’s question pretty easily.  “He is the world’s proudest father,” she said with a smile.  “He and Patrick – they’re inseparable.  Ian feeds him, bathes him, talks to him.  And Patrick – he just adores his father.”  The words tumbled out in a rush, but they were all true.  Ian was an incredible father.   

Dr. McKenzie’s head bobbed just slightly, a single nod of comprehension.  “And what about you, Alexis?  How does the prince’s father perceive you?” 

Well, that was the million dollar question, wasn’t it?  One that wasn’t quite so easy to answer.  “I think he’s... afraid.”  It felt like a betrayal of sorts to suggest that her hard, strong ex-SEAL was scared, but even as the words left her mouth she felt the truth of them. 

Green eyes studied her with more than just clinical interest.  Lexi could practically sense the doctor’s brain processing the situation behind them, connecting the dots at inhuman speed.  Lexi was used to that.  But what weirded her out a little was the very subtle emergence of a woman from behind the impeccable clinical façade.  The sharp edges softened, just a little. 

“He should be,” Dr. McKenzie said softly, her words a carefully metered cadence.  “As any male of worth should be.  His dalliance nearly killed you.”

A surge of irrational anger rose up within Lexi quickly, rolling over her like a wave.  “It was no dalliance!” she said defensively, surprised at her own vehemence.  The mere thought that what she and Ian had shared was anything less than the realization of a life’s dream for her was completely unacceptable.  “Ian is the most honorable, loving, good man I’ve ever known. 
I’m
the one that left him, Doctor.”

“And yet one must wonder, if he is as good a man as you profess, why you would do such a thing.” 

They were way beyond the typical doctor-patient conversation here, but Lexi didn’t care.  She needed to talk to someone, and she was a little skinny on the BFF’s at the moment.

“Because I love him more than anything,” Lexi admitted.  “Because I did not want him to live in fear of what might happen every time he touched me.” 
Like he is doing right now.
  “He is a strong, virile man, Dr. McKenzie.  Tying him to someone like me would be like trying to domesticate a wild tiger.  It would be... cruel.” 

But would she ever have the strength not to?  She would never keep Patrick from him, so how could she handle seeing him on a regular basis?

“You are not so fragile, Alexis.  I am confident that with proper care and preparation, no door is closed to you.”

“More meds,” Lexi said, shaking her head, knowing what the recommendations would be:  more toxic chemicals with side effects as bad as or worse than the disease itself.  She’d refused everything because she wanted to breast feed her son.  Dr. McKenzie knew this. 

“We’ve discussed this.  I will give my son every advantage I can.  No drugs.”

“It puts you at great risk.”

Lexi sat up a little straighter and lifted her chin.  “So be it.”

The doctor tented her fingers, an oddly masculine move for a woman who never wore slacks and was always coiffed to perfection.  “Have you considered a compromise, Alexis?”

“A compromise?”

“Nurse your young one for six months.  Begin mixing easily digestible cereals into your breast milk at four months – from what you tell me, the boy is strong and soon your milk will not be enough to sustain him adequately.  Store and freeze as much as you can to extend the benefits of mother’s milk beyond that.  You do pump regularly, do you not?”  Lexi nodded.

“Excellent.  I am quite optimistic of a new treatment plan, one that is based upon purely natural, non-chemical substances.” 

Lexi looked at her skeptically, hardly daring to hope.  A natural solution?  No more pumping her body full of industrial-grade poison?

“Yes, Alexis.  It was your own unique heritage that spawned the idea, a joining of two different but ancient and powerful cultures that may yet hold the answers we seek.  It was the doctor who tended to you in Pine Ridge who developed the idea.  However, I do not think it is wise to change anything at the present time for fear of disrupting the boy’s routine.  From what you tell me, he is flourishing.” 

Again, Lexi nodded in confirmation.  “He is.  His pediatrician says he is beyond where he should be.”

“That is good,” the doctor said approvingly.  “A further indication of good genes, and the strength of his parents.  And the timeframe, it is reasonable, is it not?”

Lexi inclined her head.  “Yes, it is.  But in all honesty, Doc, I don’t know if I can wait that long.” 
Because he’s slipping away from me a little more every day, and I feel like I’m dying inside.
  Not to mention that Ian’s presence called to her on such a base, primal level.  Her feelings for him went way beyond anything she could logically understand.  She craved him.  Ian Callaghan was as necessary to her survival as food and water and air.  These last few weeks – as difficult as they had been – had been like the first warm day of spring up north, when everyone opened their windows, letting the clean fresh air breathe new life into stale, closed spaces.   

“I see no reason why you cannot resume a physical relationship, although I would strongly recommend that it be of a gentle nature until we can begin a viable treatment plan.” 

Gentle?  Lexi had lots of ideas running through her head, and gentle wasn’t on the program.  The doctor paused, as if deciding whether or not to continue.  “There are a lot of options for pleasuring one another that would not place you in danger.  Will your man be accepting of this?”

My man
.  Boy, Lexi liked the sound of that.  And she realized with a jolt that he really was hers, wasn’t he?  The possessive instinct was nearly as strong as her mother’s instinct.  But asking Ian to be gentle? 
Yes, I’d like the chocolate silk pie, please, but only one bite.  Damn.
 

It would be worth it, though.  One bite of Ian was better than a whole truckload of goodies with anyone else.  And, if she handled this right, she should be able to convince him that she would not shatter into a thousand pieces.

The thought had the corners of her mouth curving.  There were a lot of things she read about, actually, that sounded wonderful.  Things she had dreamed of Ian doing to her, things she would never have the courage to ask for.  But now, well now she was just desperate enough to do it.

“I think he might,” she said cautiously, but inside her core muscles were doing the wave. 

B
y the time Lexi got back to her suite that night, she was nearly a basket case.  It was the first time she’d been away from Patrick for more than a few hours, for one thing.  She wasn’t worried about his safety; there was no place safer for the child than with his father. 

But what if he’d reached for her and she wasn’t there?  What if he needed the comfort of his mother’s arms while she was off selfishly taking care of herself instead of her baby?  Or, sweet Mary, what if, in his infant mind, he believed she had abandoned him?