FLAME (Spark Series) (13 page)

“Now as I recall…you wanted me to kiss you on the mouth, right?” He chuckles quietly. “However…I’m thinking of another pair of lips that could use some attention.”

He begins lowering his mouth to my neck. I shake my head, slamming my jaw against his hand, but he only presses his hands tighter into me.

“Fighting just turns me on, baby. The more you wiggle, the harder I get.”

As soon as the words come out of his mouth, my knee meets his hard on. He’s down in less than two seconds, giving me time to run. But I don’t just yet.

“You mother fucking asshole!” I scream loud enough for the entire house to hear me. He’s cupping his hands over his dick, so I slam my high heel into his face.

I don’t hear Drew behind me, but he suddenly grabs me and pulls me away. “What the hell?”

“You’re friend needs an ice pack and some ibuprofen for the pain. I’m getting out of here.” I yank my body out of his hands and walk back down the stairs.

“Carissa, wait!” he calls, but I don’t turn back. I make it out the front door before he has time to stop me.

I grab a cab right away, telling the driver to step on it before Drew can catch up to me. I turn my head to look back just as he’s running out onto the sidewalk trying to stop me.

A million thoughts run through my mind on the way back to my apartment. Fortunately, my neighbor has a spare key for me to get in. She’s an old lady, and Laney thought it was a smart idea to give one of our neighbors a spare just in case. Turns out she was right. God, I miss her.

I force the tears to stay in until I’m alone at home in my room. 
I will not admit defeat.

*   *   *

I know it’s not Drew’s fault what happened. I’m sure if I had told him, he’d have kicked Tanner’s ass with no questions asked. However, it scared the shit out of me. I’ve made so many mistakes, it was bound to catch up to me at some point. I never imagined it’d be him, though. He was the one guy I let under my skin—to break down my walls for a split second, thinking that I had the upper hand when in reality, he grabbed the rug right out from under me.

How can I tell Drew about Tanner? They’re roommates. Friends probably. And for him to know I fucked him first? God. I can just see his face in my mind when he finds out—hurt, rage, jealously.

Drew knows I have a past. A past of one-night stands, hook ups, and flames. But I never went into detail. We agreed it was best to leave that out. I never asked about his previous flings, either. It was just not something that I felt was appropriate to discuss. All that he ever asked me was if I was seeing other guys besides him. And truthfully, I wasn’t.

I toss and turn all night in bed. I can’t get the image of Tanner’s hungry look in his eyes out of my head. The fucking bastard. I might’ve looked worn out from the flight and tired from the whole trip, but I was
not
about to let a guy,
especially
Tanner, control me.

I wake up to loud banging at my front door. Startled, I jump out of bed and run to the door without grabbing my clothes.

“Drew?” I gasp, opening the door. He’s leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed with a cocky grin on his face. His eyes do a once over, taking my half-naked body in.

“What are you doing here?” I leave the door open, but not wide enough to let him in.

“I’ve come to see you.”

It’s not until he adjusts himself that I notice the blood patches on his knuckles. I immediately rush to him and grab his hands.

“What happened?” It catches me off guard that I care, but I do.

He grabs both my hands and brings them to his mouth where he gently kisses my knuckles.

“You honestly thought I’d let that wanker walk away after what he did to you?” I can’t help the nervous laugh that escapes me as he speaks.

“Isn’t this where you’re supposed to say, ‘You should see the other guy?’” We stand in the doorway, holding hands and looking into each other’s eyes and that’s when I know.

I’m actually falling for him.

I swallow at the revelation and ask if he wants to come in. I widen the door for the both of us to walk through and shut it quietly behind me. I’m not sure what to do with these feelings, but I can no longer deny that I have them. They’re real. Being with Drew has never made me happier, and yet, I want to run away as fast as I can, knowing I’ll eventually lose him.

“I’m liking your…
attire
.” He looks me over again, noticing my hard nipples peeking through my nighty.

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah…” He moves in closer, making me walk backward into the wall behind me. “In fact, I think I like it a lot.” He brings his hand up and cups my face as the other one forcefully lands on the wall, holding us up as he crashes his lips to mine.

I completely sink into his kiss. I love the familiar taste and scent as our lips mesh together.

“I’m sorry I didn’t get to you sooner,” he says, breaking the kiss. “I saw red the instant I saw him near you.”

I inhale and exhale slowly as my heart continues beating out of my chest. “It’s not your fault. I have a past. And unfortunately, he’s a part of that.”

“It’s never an excuse for a man to touch a woman like that. Trust me, he won’t be doing that again.”

I look up and our eyes meet. I see the sincerity in his eyes, but I also notice something else…fear?

“What did you do?” I reluctantly ask.

“Well…after I pounded his face into the floor, I told our resident advisor and got him kicked out of the house. He’s also losing his scholarship.”

My eyes widen at his words. “Wow…they took your word for it?”

“Apparently, a few other guys witnessed it, too. Which makes for an uncomfortable situation at the house because I’m pissed none of them stopped him.”

“I didn’t see anyone else.”

“They were watching from below the stairs. They backed up my story, but I’m still pissed they didn’t say anything.”

I place a hand on his chest. “I’m so sorry. I feel awful I caused all this weird tension for you there.”

“Seriously, Doll, don’t worry about.” He smiles, brushing strands of my hair back. “I’d rather be here with
you
anyway.”

He leans in and kisses me once more.

I laugh as he swiftly changes the subject. “Are you going to let me make you breakfast now?”

“I’d love breakfast.”

14

“Are you going to tell me where we’re going?” I ask, unable to see a damn thing as he has blindfolded me.

“We’re almost there,” he says as he continues leading me. I try to take in my surroundings by listening, but it’s eerily quiet.

“Ready?” he asks. I feel him behind me now, squaring my shoulders in the direction I’m supposed to look.

“Yes.” He slips the blindfold off, and I immediately take in the view. We’re on the roof of a tall building and the view is incredible. The city lights brighten up the sky. White lights and candles decorate the area where a table for two is set. “Oh my god!” I squeal as I turn around to face him. “This is beautiful.”

“I wanted it to be special for you. For us.” He grabs my face in his large hands and places a tender kiss on my lips. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

“You know this makes us an official couple now.” I snort. “Doing the whole Valentine’s routine and all.”

He chuckles. “Official or not. You’ve been my girl this whole time, whether or not you knew it.” He winks. “C’mon, let’s sit.” He grabs my hand and ushers me to the table, pulling my chair out for me.
Always a gentleman.

A waiter greets us and begins pouring wine in our glasses. We clink glasses and watch each other as we enjoy tasting it.

“You have excellent taste in wine,” I say, admiring the bottle the waiter left for us.

“My grandparents own a vineyard,” he says, putting his glass down. “My dad wasn’t around, but when I was younger, I’d go to their house in the summertime and visit them. They paid for me to travel to Italy until I was old enough to work during the summers.
Then I stopped going so I could help my mother out.”

“They never gave your mother any money?” I ask curiously.

“I’m not really sure. My mum didn’t accept help easily. She has always preferred to do things on her own and prove to herself that she can do it. I don’t know why, but she’s not good at taking handouts.”

“Independent,” I clarify. “I can respect that. Not all women want to be taken care of by a man. Some want to do it by themselves and have their dignity to show for it.”

He smiles. “I can see you two getting along very well.”

I laugh. “No wonder you chased me. I remind you of your mother.” I make a face, teasing him.

“I didn’t chase you. I was
drawn
to you. And if anything,
you
chased
me.
”

“Ha! I never chase a man. Wishful thinking.”

He puts a finger to his head, pretending to be deep in thought. “I’m pretty sure I remember you chasing me down at the bar and assaulting me in the hallway.” He grins.

My head falls back as I laugh with him. “Okay fine. You got me there. But it was the only time I’ve
ever
done that!”

“Oh…so I’m your exception?” he muses, looking thrilled.

I roll my eyes at him. “ I suppose. My exception to my standard flames.” I shrug casually, hoping he doesn’t see right through me. He
is
my exception—the chase, the sleepovers, being a
couple
.

He reaches a hand over and links our fingers together. “Good to know.”

Our waiter returns with our meals, crusted salmon with teriyaki glaze and fresh asparagus.

“Oh my god…this smells amazing!” I gush as I slowly inhale. “And looks delicious.”

“I’m glad. I wasn’t sure if you liked salmon, but I just knew you had to try this.”

The waiter refills our glasses before leaving us to our meal. It’s absolutely incredible. The food. The decorations. The view. The fact that he cared enough to plan something. The whole night—
incredible
.

“So tell me about your siblings. You don’t say much about them.”

“Well, there’s Cassia. She’s five years younger than me. She used to make me dress her dolls up for her all the time. She’s a huge pain in the arse.” He chuckles. “And then Luke. He’s the baby. Born when I was almost seventeen. But he’s six now. He’s the main reason I started working when I did. My dad ran out, but his dad couldn’t hold a steady job and we needed money.”

“Do you resent her for it?” I ask.

He shrugs. “Not at first. But then I started missing out on school events. Weekends with my mates. It started to get hard, but I love my mum. I’ll do anything for her.”

Unfortunately, I don’t know that feeling, but I nod along anyway.

“She’s doing much better now. Cassia’s eighteen and moving away to college next fall.”

“Do you miss them? Do you speak to them at all?”

“I miss them so much. I never thought it’d be this hard. I wanted to go back my sophomore year because I was homesick, but my mother talked me into staying. She was right.” He pauses, thinking about what to say next. “I need this. To relive what I was unable to do in high school. Although, it’s not exactly the same, I’m glad I stayed.”

I smile up at him. “Me, too. Plus it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity, right?”

He nods slowly. “Right.”

“So what will you do when you return? Look for jobs?”

“I’ll find a job, but probably not in my field right away. Or maybe grad school. I guess it just depends,” he responds honestly.

It’s hard to read what he means by that, but I let it go for now.

“So now that we’ve dug into
my
background, you’re up.” He winks.

“I don’t think you can handle mine.” I widen my eyes. “
I
can hardly handle mine.”

“I wanna know,” he says sincerely. “I want to know anything you’re willing to tell me. Everything.”

I finish chewing my food and set my fork down quietly. For the first time in a long time, I let myself think about my past—parents, one-night stands, Mr. Brox. The thoughts clutter my mind one by one, making it entirely too overwhelming.

“I’m a whore,” I spit out. “Well, I
was
a whore. I willingly took any guy who let me. I’ve had a lot of one-night stands, a lot of random hook-ups, a lot of emotionless sex. And it’s probably because I never felt loved as a child, or some psychology bullshit, but it’s all I’ve ever known. It was best to stay guarded, so I could control my feelings. As long as I never felt anything, I wasn’t at risk of being hurt. I wasn’t at risk of not being loved like I hadn’t been my entire childhood. I guess if you want to break it down, that would be it,” I reply honestly. For the first time, it all makes sense to me. I always said it was because I enjoyed sex, which I do, but it was so much more than that. He continues looking at me, with no judgment whatsoever, so I go on. “My parents were horrible—
are
horrible. I haven’t seen them in over five years. We don’t talk. I hate them. My entire life was based on hate, rage, and resentment. Velaney’s the only person in the whole world who I love and who loves me back. She’s always been my constant, and now…it’s really hard to have her gone. I mean, not
gone
gone
, but not in my everyday life. It’s hard not having that after all this time.”

And now she’s married and pregnant. Living the
American Fairytale.

“This is where you normally say something,” I spit out nervously since he’s been silent this entire time.

“Sorry,” he whispers. “I just can’t help admiring you. Your strength…courage…independence. You grew up never feeling secure or loved. Most people would’ve ended up a lot worse than you.” I’m not sure if that’s supposed to be a compliment, but I let him continue. “Seriously, Carissa. Everything you just said makes complete sense. You used sex as a way to have control and independence. It was the only way you knew how. And honestly, it’s completely understandable.”

“So, you don’t think I’m a whore anymore?” I smirk.

“I
never
thought you were a whore. I’m still a guy. A guy who appreciates a woman enjoying sex.”

I laugh at him. “You pervert.”

The waiter interrupts and offers to collect our plates. It’s not long before he returns with dessert.

“Ooh…cherry cheesecake.” I admire, grabbing the top cherry and popping it into my mouth.

“Looks like I’m 3 and 0 tonight.” He grins.

“You’re very good at this.” I smirk. “The wine. The dinner. And now dessert. It’s sensational.”

“Will it make me sound like a girl if I told you it took me weeks to plan this?” He grabs his fork and digs into his own dessert.

“Nah…l can appreciate that.” I wink.

We slip into playful banter, talking about random things and getting to know each other better. Being with Drew is easy. It’s simple. There are no uncomfortable silences or awkward goodbyes. For the past few months, our relationship has been merely sexual, but now it’s turned into so much more—something emotional and chemical. I go to bed thinking about him and wake up thinking about when I’ll be seeing him again. Surprisingly, we haven’t even spent more than a few days apart before seeing each other again. It’s a routine that I didn’t even realize had formed.

Once dinner is over, a few men stalk toward us with violins and music stands. “You didn’t?” I face Drew scowling at him.

“Of course I did. I wanted to follow all the American traditions of cheesy Valentine’s Day dates.”

“Well, you’re succeeding. This is right up there with
I heart you
candy hearts and big boxes of chocolate.”

“Oh, hey. Don’t dismiss them yet. I haven’t given you your gifts.” He smirks. I laugh with him as I think of my own gift I got for him.

“Well, if I do it right, my gift to you will be the only one that really counts.”

He shivers at my words. “I knew it was just a matter of time before the real kinky you came out.”

I brush a hand over his arm. “You have no idea.”

The band begins playing and Drew takes my hand in his. “Dance with me.”

As much as I want to roll my eyes at this whole romantic evening, I can’t help smiling like a fool. It’s something out of a Nicholas Sparks movie—the intimate dining, the food and champagne, the lights and music—the old me would be hating every second of it, but right now, I can’t imagine a better way to spend the night with Drew. It truly is magical.

We dance well into the night, enjoying the music and lights. I want to cherish every moment of it—every moment with Drew.
I’ve never experienced anything like this, and I want to make sure I never forget.

“This is really nice,” I whisper as he glides our bodies together.

“I’m glad you approve.”

I roll my eyes at him. “You know, I’m not always a hard shell. I do appreciate all the thought and effort that went into this.”

He leans in and gently kisses my lips. I part them, inviting him in, but he pulls back. “I know. And I’m glad to see you’re finally breaking down your walls for me.”

“Yeah…it hasn’t been easy.”

“I’m sure it hasn’t,” he responds genuinely. “Thank you.”

“Thank you?”

“For allowing me in. For giving me a chance. For being you—
beautiful
—on the inside and out, for letting me fight for you, for giving me a reason to fight for you. It’s been a hundred and ten percent worth it.” He smiles so wide, a small dimple forms in his right cheek. It’s so damn adorable, and I find myself in deep with this boy.

I seem to forget everything when I’m around Drew—forget he’ll soon be leaving, forget to keep my guard up—to not let him in. Instead, I do it willingly. Drew’s been the first and only guy I’ve ever wanted
more
with.

“Are you ready to go home? I have my gift to show you yet.”

He leans in and whispers, “
So
fucking ready.”

*   *   *

We’re a tangled mess of limbs as we rush to pull each other’s clothing off. I slam him into the wall, ripping buttons off and unzipping his jeans. Our lips are glued together, hardly breaking to take in a breath.

Soon, we’re completely undressed, making our way to my bedroom. I trip and stumble on shoes left on the floor before he lands on top of me on the bed.

“Oops.” I giggle as he catches me. I feel him smile against my mouth as he continues kissing me. “Are you ready for your gift?”

“I thought you were giving me my gift right now.” He grins.

“It’s part of it, yes. But you need to find it,” I explain.

“Ooh…this could be fun.” He slides down my smooth skin, kissing my chest and making his way down. “Is it a new tattoo?”

“Nope.”

He brings his mouth back up to my neck and sucks before asking, “Is it…shiny?”

I smirk as I figure out the game he’s playing. “Yes.”

“Is it a new toy I get to play with?”

I think for a moment before responding. “I guess you could play with it.”

He cups my breasts with both of his hands, squeezing hard. “Fucking hell, Doll. You’re killing me,” he growls.

“Don’t tell me big the strong football player is giving up?”