FLAME (Spark Series) (12 page)

13

-Three Months Later-

Breathe.

I can do this. It’s just walking down an aisle. No biggie.

Except it’s a
huge
freaking deal. My best friend is getting married today. How the hell did that happen?

Well…let’s rewind a few months back.

Velaney and Eric become a couple.

Velaney overcomes her biggest fears—her family—and somehow comes out even better than before.

Velaney and Eric find out she’s pregnant again.

Velaney and Eric get engaged.

And now…she’s moved to Texas to live with him.

Yup…that pretty much sums it all up. She’s been my other half, my soul mate, my BFF if you will—for 23 years. How am I supposed to just let her go? How am I going to give her away?

She asked me to walk her down the aisle. Of course I will. I’ll do anything or be anything for her. But I can’t help but feel that too much is changing. And I’m not sure how to handle it.

“Ready?” I whisper as the music begins.

“So ready!” She smiles back.

The wedding is gorgeous, a true southern fantasy. Eric’s family is amazing. I’m so happy that she’s finally getting the fairytale ending she deserves. It makes me think about where I am in my life. Almost 24, and what do I have to show for it?

I have Drew, yes. And right now, he’s the only thing stable in my life, besides working at the bar. I live in a two bedroom apartment
alone
for the first time ever. It gives me a lot of time to…think. To analyze. To obsess over where my life is heading.

Hearing their vows brings me to tears. I’ve never witnessed love like this, ever. I wasn’t raised in a household where love was expressed. The only person I ever loved was Velaney, and today, I am officially giving her away—giving her away to a new life.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m incredibly happy for her. She deserves it more than anyone. The only thing that’s keeping me from breaking down completely is knowing how great Eric is for her and how happy they make each other.

When I told Drew I was flying to Texas, he left not-so subtle hints about wanting to join me. Up until now, we’ve mostly engaged in sex.
Lots and lots of sex
. It isn’t just sex, though. There’s an emotional connection, I won’t deny it. Having Drew in my life is both amazing and scary. I can’t—and won’t—give myself to him completely. I can’t. He’s just a temporary fixture in my life, he’ll be moving back to London in May.

“Dance with me,” he whispers in my ear from behind. I’m sitting at the head table, watching the newlyweds dance. They’ve been dancing all night, and you can physically feel the love pour out of them as they look into each other’s eyes and dance together.

I let him take my hand as he walks us to the dance floor. He looks absolutely stunning in his black slacks and deep purple button up. He’s matched it with a silver tie and black shoes.  The silver really brings out the blue in his eyes, making it irresistibly hard to look away from them.

“I haven’t slow-danced with someone since high school,” I confess, letting him pull us closer together.

“You look bloody beautiful tonight.” He leans in, kissing the sensitive flesh just under my ear. I see lust in his eyes. I know he’s falling for me. The only question I have is…why? Why when he knows he’s going to be leaving the country in four months?

I admit that’s why I’ve been reserved about letting him in any more than I already have. I enjoy the sex. I enjoy the ‘torturous’ cuddling after, and hell, I even enjoy the conversation. But how can I let him in knowing I only get him for a little bit longer?

“What are you thinking?” He breaks my concentration.

I shrug nonchalantly. “About you, I suppose.” He raises an eyebrow in speculation. “Get your mind out of the gutter.”

“Shit,” he mutters, smiling. “Okay…then what about?”

“It’s personal.”

“Carissa,” he growls, leaning back so we’re eye to eye. “I’ve been in your bed at least six dozen times. I think we’re past the personal stage.”

“You really want to know?” I choke out. I try my best to keep my voice down, but the band is loud and we’re surrounded by all the wedding guests. “Never mind. We can talk later.”

He thinks for a moment before answering, “Alright. But we
will
talk.”

We continue engaging in the wedding festivities—bouquet toss, garter fetch, and cutting the cake.
It’s absolutely amazing. I can really see how happy Velaney is, but even better is that I know how happy she’ll be here.

I grab Drew’s hand and lead him out away from the loud music and dancing. Laney and Eric have already escaped for the night, so mostly the drunks are left partying.

“Where are we going?” he asks as we brush through the fields.

“Not sure. Somewhere quiet.” I continue leading him, using only the moonlight as my guidance. A few more steps, and I’m lifted off my feet and crashing down to the ground. “What are you doing?” I yelp as Drew lies atop of me.

“I’ve been dying to get on top of you all night,” he growls.

“Oh my god!” I laugh. “We’re in the middle of a field.”

“I know. Fucking hell, I couldn’t wait any longer.” He crashes his mouth against mine. I submit, opening my body to him. He spreads my legs apart with his knee, leaving it to rub against my pussy and adding pressure.

I find myself grinding against it, craving more of his touch. Public sex and outside sex all in one has to be one of the most exhilarating experiences, and I’m going to be enduring them both at once.

“Tell me what’s on your mind,” he whispers as he grinds his body on top of me.

“Now?” I gasp. “I’m thinking I want you naked right about now.”

“No…” He pauses, repositioning himself, grinding himself harder against me as his mouth assaults my neck. “Tell me what was on your mind earlier. You said it was something personal. I want to know,” he continues.

I pant, unable to focus on his request. I moan and beg him to give in to me, but he doesn’t. He keeps begging me to talk to him, which is abso-
fucking
-lutely impossible when I’m throbbing between my legs.

“If you want me to talk, you
cannot
keep doing that,” I remark, lifting my dress up.

“Oh, I think you can talk. You’re very good at multi-tasking.” I hear the amusement in his voice. He thinks he’s going to get me to talk by sexually torturing me.

“You first. Tell me something,” I plead.

“Alright,” he mumbles in between kisses as he assists in getting my dress over my head. “No matter how much I see you…or how much I’m with you…it’s never enough. I always want more.”

My eyes pop open at his confession. I wasn’t expecting something so…honest. And deep. And heart wrenching all at once.

“Stop,” I demand, pushing him away from me. “Why?”

“Why what?” he breathes out.

“Why do you say stuff like that? Why do you always know what to say?”

He barely shakes his head as he answers, “I’m just being honest, Carissa. I’ll never be anything
but
honest with you.”

“Don’t you know it hurts when you tell me those things? It hurts because I know it’s just temporary.”

He gives me a sympathetic look. Almost like he pities me for not wanting to give my heart over to him completely.

He brings his body back down to mine, closing the gap I previously made. “Let go.” He kisses my neck. “Let go and just live in the moment.” He kisses my lips, not giving me the chance to respond.

Perhaps he’s right. If I don’t think about it too much, I have nothing to get upset over. As long as I remain reserved and keep our relationship the way it is, I’ll be fine.

I’ll be fine…

I push him over, straddling him. Loosening his pants, I never break eye contact with him as I release his throbbing cock from his briefs. I pull his pants down all the way and slam on top of him, not wanting to wait another second.

“Bloody hell, it’s amazing when you do that,” he yelps. I ride him slowly, making sure to feel every solid moment between us. It’s much more intimate than ever before as we link hands and continue eye contact as we both scream out in ecstasy.

*   *   *

“I can carry something,” I whine as he insists on carrying all of our luggage to the cab.

“I have it.” He smirks, throwing it all in the trunk. If there’s one thing I’m not used to, it’s Drew always being a perfect gentleman. He insists on carrying everything, paying for everything, opening doors, and always making sure I’m taken care of before he worries about himself.

Most men wouldn’t get away with the shit he does. But Drew’s become more than just a flame for me. Over the months, he’s become like a best friend, too. With Velaney’s life rapidly changing, I clung to Drew for support. I wanted Laney to know I was happy as long as she was happy, so I never questioned her decisions. However, I was sad as hell to be losing her.

“So…do I get to see your frat house finally?” I grin.

“Yes, Doll. However, I’m warning you right now. It’s not pretty.”

“Oh trust me…I know,” I spit out without thinking, but he doesn’t say anything. I’ve been to my fair share of frat houses before, so I know what they’re like.

We walk in, him holding all the luggage as he barges through the front doors. It’s like a zombie attack occurred, shit everywhere, but no one in sight.

“They must all be pissed still.” He laughs. “Er…I mean, drunk.” He catches himself. It’s funny when he tries to use the American slang—adorable even.

“Probably hungover,” I suggest, shutting the door behind me. I never asked to see where he stayed before because it always seemed too personal for me. Drew is more than just a one-night stand, and to keep those boundaries set in place, I needed us to be in my room, with my rules. However, Drew is very good at breaking the rules and testing every boundary I’ve ever had.

“So, are there any notches on your bed post?” I tease as we stand in front of his bedroom door.

He laughs as he sets the luggage down. “If my plan goes right, there’ll be one tonight.” He shuts the door behind him.

“Hmm…you sound pretty sure of yourself.” I lean against the back of the door as I watch him.

“I’m
always
sure of myself.” He winks, closing the space between us. “I’m glad you’re here.” He leans in and sweetly kisses me.

“I have pictures of my mum if you want to see?”

“Definitely.” I smile back.

I help him unpack, throwing most of it in his laundry basket. I leave mine by the door. I’ll deal with it later.

“Want me to throw these in the wash for you?” I offer. I laugh at myself for how domestic I sound.

“Sure. It’s on the lower level, through the kitchen.”

“Okay, be right back.” I grab the basket and follow his directions, ending up in the laundry room. I sort and start the machine.

I grab the empty basket to take back upstairs with me. I turn around and am greeted with a hard chest.

“Oh, excuse me,” I say immediately.

I hear, “Oh shit,” accompanied with a laugh.

What the fuck?

I look up and see a very recognizable face. He’s aged some, not much. He’s definitely more muscular, probably from working out, since I last saw him.

“What in the fucking world are
you
doing here?” he asks with amusement and curiosity.

“It’s none of your damn business,
Tanner
.”

I push against his chest, demanding him to move but he doesn’t flinch. “Move.”

“Or what?” he counters, crossing his arms against his chest.

“Seriously? How old are you? Move out of my way!”

“If I recall, the last time you were begging me for more.” He laughs. “So, baby, today’s your lucky day.” He smirks.

“Oh god, gross,” I spit out. “Not in a million years.” I walk past him, pushing him out of my way. He begins following me as I go up the stairs. I spin around a few doors before I get to Drew’s door. “Stop following me, creep. It’s not happening.”

“Oh, you’re here for Drew, huh?” He nods his head toward his door. “I’m sure he won’t mind sharing with another mate.” He cocks a smile, making me want to slap the ever-living shit out of him.

“Don’t worry about what I’m doing.” I turn back around and aim for Drew’s door, but Tanner reaches out and grabs my wrist before I have a chance to walk away.

“Don’t you fucking walk away from me, you little slut,” he spits out, grabbing me by the neck and forcing me against the wall. “I’ll fuck you against this wall if I have to. So you better fucking listen and do as I say.”

I try to scream, but his fingers are pinching my throat, not allowing any sound to come out. “That’s a good girl.” He grips harder on my neck and wrist. I take my other hand and try to push him away, but it’s useless. He’s planted securely on the floor as I attempt to set myself free.

I pray Drew walks out and catches him in the act, but his door is two doors down and Tanner is whispering so quietly, he won’t be able to hear us.