For Myself Alone: A Jane Austen Inspired Novel (21 page)

36

The Decision

My father, Susan, and I set forth for London on Wednesday. Mr. Ramsey, by prior arrangement, meets us at the same lodging house we patronized on our previous visit. He serves as a welcoming committee of one and as a messenger from Mr. Gerber, delivering a note advising us at what time the solicitor will see us the next day.

“We are much obliged to you, Mr. Ramsey,” says Papa. “Will you not stay and take supper with us? I know your commitments prevented you before, but there is an additional inducement this time,” he finishes with a nod to Susan.

“As luck would have it, sir, I am currently between terms, so my time is my own. Nothing would please me more than to stop for a few hours in a place with such charming company.”

It is a very congenial gathering. Having by now recovered from the shock of the letter’s arrival, I set a cheerful tone and the others take their cue from me. We have only this one evening together, as the Graham’s carriage will come to take Susan to Kent on the morrow.

Miss Graham’s parting with Mr. Ramsey’s that night is rendered more poignant by the fact that their separation is likely to be of some duration. Mr. Ramsey says he despairs of being able to elude his mother’s watchful eye long enough to make a sojourn to Kent, and Susan has no expectation of returning into town in the foreseeable future. My farewell to her the next morning is likewise tinged with sadness.

“When do you suppose we shall see each other again?” Susan asks at the curb before boarding the carriage sent to fetch her home.

“Not these many months to come, I shouldn’t wonder.”

“It is your turn to visit me. Promise that you will.”

“I promise to come to Kent for your wedding, dearest, and to be your faithful correspondent until then. Will that do?”

“You mustn’t tease me so, Jo. My wedding is a long way off, as you are well aware.”

“Perhaps it is and perhaps it isn’t,” I say lightly. Then, handing my friend a sealed letter, I continue, “At any rate, here is the first installment on my pledge of correspondence. You see how seriously I take my commitment; you are not yet gone and already I have written. I put a little surprise inside for you, but you must not open it until you reach your destination. Then it will be as if the letter arrives the very moment you do.” We embrace, and then Susan climbs into the carriage. “Goodbye, my sweet friend,” I say as the coach pulls away.

Not long after Miss Graham’s departure, Tom arrives and I explain to him the situation. He reacts with predictable indignation, venturing to disparage Mr. Pierce in terms even more unflattering than Susan dared to employ. When he at last exhausts the preponderance of his ire, Tom asks what he might do for me. What service in defense of my honor would please me best? Would I give him leave to challenge the scoundrel to a contest in one of the manly arts, where he might expect to have the pleasure of bringing profound insult down upon both Mr. Pierce’s person and reputation?

“Although you would no doubt prefer pugilism, I have something else in mind,” I tell him. “The best service you can render me, my dear, impetuous brother, is to stand at my side whilst I do what must be done. Come to Mr. Gerber’s office with me, Tom. If anybody can prevent me sinking into undue gravity over this business, it is you. But you must recover your good humor first, so that you can make me laugh at myself… and at this absurd situation.”

“Are you quite certain you wish me to accompany you, Jo? This is rather a private matter. Of course you want Father there, but perhaps you would rather I wait in the carriage.”

“No, there is no need for that. This business between me and Mr. Pierce is no longer an affair of the heart. It ceased to be that months ago. It is purely a legal question now, and as such, it concerns the whole family to one degree or another. I want you present, Tom; it is right that you should be there.”

“As you wish, then.”

Upon our arrival, the clerk, who is expecting us, ushers us into Mr. Gerber’s chamber. “Ah, Mr. Walker, Miss Walker, I am glad to see you again but sorry for the need of it,” the solicitor says. He shakes hands with each of us. “Please, do make yourselves comfortable.”

“This is my brother Tom, Mr. Gerber,” I inform him before taking a chair.

“Yes, yes. Young Mr. Walker, I am delighted to make your acquaintance at last.”

“At last, sir? I had no idea that you knew of my existence. Whatever my sister has told you about me, you mustn’t believe the half of it, you know,” he says, returning Mr. Gerber’s smile and firm grip.

“She has told me a deal about you, sir, but nothing to your discredit, I assure you. Well now, Miss Walker, may I see the letter?” I hand it over and he gives it a cursory perusal. “Yes, just as we expected. Are you still determined to proceed as planned? Remember, you have every right to change your mind; there would be no disgrace in it.”

“No change, Mr. Gerber,” I declare. “I have turned the matter over and over in my mind, and I am quite at peace with my decision. I have no doubt this is the right course, for myself and for the others involved.”

“And you, Mr. Walker? Are you in agreement?”

“Let us just say that I am resigned to it,” Papa grumbles. “My daughter may do as she wishes.”

“Very well, then.”

Tom breaks in. “Pardon me. Everybody else seems to know what is going on, but I haven’t a clue. You wanted me here, Jo, so will you please let me in on the secret?”

“Be patient, Tom. Mr. Gerber will explain.” I nod to the distinguished man across the desk, authorizing him to do so.

“Mr. Walker, your sister no doubt wanted you here because this matter concerns you very greatly. Rather than risk her fortune falling into the hands of the undeserving through this noxious law suit, she has decided to dispose of her inheritance as she sees fit. Therefore, this is a little like the reading of a will, except your benefactress is still living.”

“My benefactress? I do not understand.” He turns to me. “Jo?”

Knowing that what I am about to say will forever change my dear brother’s future, I feel my chest swell with pride and excitement. “Tom, I mean to give Miss Graham and the Pittmans each a portion, but I want you to have the bulk of my money, so that you may pursue your ambitions in architecture. Talent and passion like yours should not be allowed to go to waste. Twelve thousand pounds should enable you to make your way – to travel, to study, to apprentice under the best men in the field – without worrying for your daily bread.”

“Good lord! Have you completely lost your senses, little sister? Give away your inheritance? Why, it is ludicrous! Incredibly generous, but ludicrous all the same, and I will not allow you to do it.”

“You mustn’t argue, Tom; it is already done,” I say, laughing with delight at his reaction. “Believe me when I tell you that the money has never given me a moment’s happiness until now. It would satisfy me still less to see any of it go to Mr. Pierce. Instead, think how much joy I shall have using my fortune to benefit my dear friends – to restore some of what the Pittmans have lost; to give Susan and Mr. Ramsey the chance to marry early; and to put your dream within reach. What could possibly give me more pleasure than that?” My voice falters with emotion on the last few words, and my eyes fill with tears against my will.

“Mr. Gerber, can she do this?” questions Tom. The solicitor merely nods. “Father, cannot you dissuade her?”

“I assure you, I have tried, but your sister is quite determined. I fear you have no choice, my boy, but to bravely bear the consequences,” he says wryly.

Tom shakes his head in bewilderment, mumbling, “Twelve thousand pounds. The chance at my dream? I cannot believe it.” Abruptly, he turns back to me. “Wait, Jo, what about my duty to Millwalk parish? I am expected to take up my post there shortly. Have you forgotten about that? ”

“No, but I thought perhaps Mr. Summeride could be persuaded to manage things a little longer whilst you take your training in architecture. Then, when you are ready to assume your place as rector, you can keep him on as curate if you wish, to allow you more time to pursue your other interests.”

“I see you have given this a great deal of thought.”

“I have. That is how I know I am doing the right thing. You may depend on it.”

Tom presents no more arguments. He leans back in his chair, agape, as if in disbelief.

“Ahem. Well then,” says Mr. Gerber, “if that is settled, I have a few papers that need to be signed. Then I can manage everything else for you. Once the disbursements have been made, I shall respond to this letter from Mr. Dewberry informing him that you haven’t the resources to pay the damages claimed, nor even a fraction thereof. It will come as a great disappointment to his client, no doubt, but there will be nothing whatever that he can do about it; he cannot legally sue any of your relations to recover the money. So I expect that will be an end to it, exactly as you wished, Miss Walker.”

“Excellent. The sooner it is done, the better.”

Ten minutes later, our business complete, I thank Mr. Gerber sincerely and leave his offices quite elated. “It is over! It is over!” I repeat to myself again and again in nervous gratitude. The worst is over. The money is gone and I am free of the burden it has been to carry it. Had I not been perfectly content before without it? Now I shall be even happier to have rid myself of it in such a way as to benefit people I love most in the world.

I will not see Susan’s face when she discovers my gift in her letter, but I anticipate the pleasure of witnessing Agnes’s excitement. Tom’s reaction continues to evolve minute to minute – from his questioning disbelief, to a stunned silence, and finally a bright-eyed animation as he begins to talk about his new future.

“You dear, sweet, generous girl!” he exclaims as we travel back to our lodgings. “I still cannot believe my luck in having such a sister. I hope you are absolutely certain this is what you want, for I warn you, once I have the money, I will not easily be persuaded to give it back again. I intend to put it to good use without delay. I shall embark on the grand tour immediately, taking in the finest architecture on the continent and seeking out the great minds in the field. Not that I need pattern myself after anyone else. I have more ideas of my own than I could possibly put into practice in a lifetime. The improvements at Millwalk will be just the beginning, thanks to you, Jo. I will do you proud, I swear. You shall have no cause to regret investing in my career, and, in future, you will find me your most loyal champion. You shall never be in want, danger, or despair so long as I can prevent it.”

~~*~~

Mama welcomes us home the next day, her anxious eyes flitting from face to face. “Did everything go well in London?” she asks. “Has it all been settled according to Jo’s plan?”

Tom cuts in. “I collect that everybody knew about my good fortune before I did.”

“I trust you will forgive me that, Tom,” I say. “Yes, Mama, it is just as I wished.”

Papa adds, “For better or for worse, it is done. And I must say Tom appears happier with the money and Jo happier without it. So perhaps it has turned out as it should after all.”

“That is very well then. There may yet be a complication, however,” says Mama, producing a letter addressed to me and bearing the initials
RP,
denoting the sender. “This arrived whilst you were away.”

“What can it mean, I wonder?” Taking the unexpected missive, I open and read it aloud.

My Dear Miss Walker,

I must begin by expressing my deep disappointment that I cannot yet address you by a different name, as should be the case by now if all had gone smoothly for us. Yet I am by no means discouraged. No, I believe I can interpret your reason for this delay. You intend it as a test of my constancy, and I flatter myself that I shall pass that test and win you in the end.

It is in testimony to my faithfulness that I write to you now. The necessity arises from my desire to prepare you for the imminent arrival of another communication, one from our solicitor Mr. Dewberry. I would not have it take you unawares. I wish with all my heart that I could spare you entirely, but I find I can only warn you of its coming and explain my actions.

As I feared, I have been unable, by any art or reason, to convince my father that he should give up seeking damages against you. To refuse his demands entirely would be impossible in my dependent state. His threats against you notwithstanding, my father will never pursue the matter into court for dread of the unfavorable publicity. He only means to intimidate you into offering a substantial settlement. He hopes for six or seven thousand pounds, but Mr. Dewberry has told him that is unlikely. For my part, I am determined that he shall accept as little as three. Should you tender an offer of that amount, I swear I will sign the papers, with or without his approval, and this business will be over.

I beg you would not think of me too meanly for my current powerlessness. I would do more if I could. And I must insist that you make no response by return post, lest the letter should fall into the wrong hands and my father be made aware of my collusion. He would consider my telling you these things a gross disloyalty. Instead, if I may be so bold, I intend to call upon you as soon as ever I can get away, to ascertain your reaction to this proposal. My hope is that you will be pleased to see me. I remain…