Read For Myself Alone: A Jane Austen Inspired Novel Online
Authors: Shannon Winslow
Getting Down to Business
During our courtship, romance had its glorious day in the sun. After the engagement, the business of getting married began in earnest, for serious business it certainly was, as I quickly learnt. No sooner had Richard and I issued the formal announcement of our joy than a series of meetings between the interested parties commenced for the purpose of negotiating settlements and drawing up agreements, all relating more to the transfer of funds than to the exchange of lovers’ vows.
I discovered, to my amazement, that Richard and I had very little share in the proceedings; the fathers and the solicitors handled nearly the whole of it without us. My duty, it seemed, as a direct consequence of accepting the match, was to take the financial bargain that came with it. What had belonged to me would henceforth belong entirely to my husband. That is the way of things. There was nothing whatever that I could do about it, so I chose not to grumble. Instead I counted myself fortunate to have been allowed my choice as to marriage partner, and to have a prudent father now representing my interests in the disposal of my future happiness.
There were other compensations as well. Since our help was not wanted for framing contracts, Richard and I were free to devote most of our time to each other. A variety of social events competed for the remaining hours. Something in the special circumstances seemed to demand a more frenetic pace of activity from us all. With the three families – the Walkers, Pierces, and Grahams – sharing the honors, barely a night was allowed to pass without a party, dinner, or outing planned amongst us.
On one of the few evenings that my parents and I were to be found at home and alone (except for Richard and Agnes), Tom and Arthur arrived, fresh from completing their term at Oxford. A welcoming celebration immediately ensued as parents were reunited with son, sister with brother, and dear friends with dear friends all round. Arthur and Agnes greeted one another with a shy awkwardness as befits lovers kept apart by circumstances for a long while. When my brother and Mr. Evensong were introduced to Mr. Pierce and informed of his important new standing in the family, they were both taken quite by surprise, having received no word of our engagement beforehand.
Tom recovered from the shock quickly enough, embracing me and wringing his future brother-in-law’s hand enthusiastically. “What outstanding news! Congratulations, Mr. Pierce. I hope you appreciate what a fortunate man you are.”
Richard responded in his easy, urbane manner. “Thank you. I am very sensible of that fact, sir. I’m sure I have done little to merit the favor your sister has shown me or the kindness of your excellent parents.”
“Perhaps in time, however, you may prove yourself worthy, Mr. Pierce,” said Arthur, leveling something of a measured glare at him. “I would certainly advise that you endeavor to do so,”
“Easy, Arthur,” Tom interceded. “There’s a good chap. You needn’t pretend to be so menacing. If anybody should be jealous for Jo’s honor, it should be me. She is
my
sister, after all. Mr. Pierce will see her right, or he will have me to deal with.”
Before the skirmish could escalate, I cut in. “That will suffice! Mr. Pierce will have a very pretty first impression of the pair of you. After the way I have built you both up too, I daresay he will never credit me with good judgment again. Pay them no mind, Richard.”
“It is quite all right. I take it as a compliment to you, my dear, that you have such… loyal… protectors. I hope your friends will soon be convinced that I am chief amongst them.”
The little tempest passed, but I noticed Arthur remained subdued. He sat a bit apart from the group throughout the evening, unable or unwilling to fully enter into the otherwise festive mood of the gathering. It disturbed me to see him looking so low, so I finally took myself from Richard’s side long enough to speak to him.
Arthur began before I could. “Jo, you must allow me to apologize. I beg you would forgive my rudeness earlier, for how ungraciously I received your good news. May I wish you all possible happiness in your marriage, as I should have done before?”
“Thank you, Arthur.”
“My surprise at your announcement is a poor excuse for bad manners, but it is my only defense. I know I have no earthly right to object to your choice.”
“You have no
reason
to object, more like. You do not even know Richard, and when you do, I hope you will be great friends.”
“He must be a fine man. He could hardly have won your respect and affection otherwise. Still, I very much doubt that Mr. Pierce and I will ever be good friends,” he concluded darkly. “There, I have done it again. Forgive me, Jo. Perhaps I should not have come; I shall only spoil your celebration with my disconsolate attitude.”
“Nonsense. You are always welcome in our home, Arthur, regardless of your state of mind. Yet something must be troubling you. Truly, you do not seem at all yourself tonight. Are you unwell? Or is it your mother?”
“No, I am in exceptionally good health, and my mother is tolerably well also. I had a letter from her just before I quit Oxford. Please do not concern yourself; there is nothing whatever the matter with me.”
“I know you far too well to believe that, old friend. Come now. Let us have no secrets between us. Tell me what is responsible for this gloomy aspect of yours.”
“I suppose I am a little preoccupied,” he suggested after some further hesitation. “I have a lot on my mind at present. You see, I came to Bath not just to visit friends but on an errand of business, a matter of no small importance to my future. I am invited to call on a certain gentleman visiting here who has a fine parish in Surrey at his disposal. At the generous recommendation of a mutual acquaintance, he has agreed to consider me for the post. This is a man of uncommon influence, I understand, so his endorsement could be the making of me, Jo.”
“Why, Arthur, this is wonderful news! It is precisely what you have been hoping for, what you have worked so hard to secure, is it not? You needn’t be uneasy; the man could never find a better candidate.”
“Thank you. Unfortunately, I cannot share your optimism. I very much suspect there is something in the situation that will not suit me at all. From what I hear, he – the fellow who holds the living – is a very formidable person, not to be easily won over.”
“No doubt you have excellent references at the ready. But if you need someone else to put in a good word, I daresay my father would be happy to oblige. Of course, we are nobody to him, whoever he is.”
“By a strange coincidence, I think you may know him after all. I believe it can be none other than your future father-in-law of whom I speak. The man’s name is Pierce, Mr. Randolph Pierce.”
“Really? Indeed, that is the man. How extraordinary! Well then, you do have a daunting challenge before you; Mr. Pierce is a formidable man, to be sure. Only think, should he appoint you rector, I would see you – and, if I may be so bold, Agnes – constantly in years to come. How cozy we should all be in Surrey together: you, me, Richard, Agnes, Tom, and Frederick. Yes, you must try your best for the appointment, Arthur. Why not start tonight by learning to get on with Richard?”
“Must I? I am not sure I feel up to it just now.”
“My word! You
are
in an odd humor tonight, Arthur. I have only asked you to become acquainted with my very particular friend, for your own sake as well as mine. You act as if I had proposed you have a tooth drawn.”
Against his will, I pulled Arthur back to the conversation circle as I seated myself next to Richard again. Arthur made a half-hearted effort to join in; he nodded and smiled unconvincingly, spoke when spoken to, and treated Richard with tolerable civility if not cordiality.
After he and Tom left that night for their own lodgings at the White Heart, Richard rose to go as well. I followed him to the door, saying, “You will put in a good word with your father for Arthur, won’t you? I should be ever so grateful if you would.”
“Of course, my pet, if you wish it. Although I cannot say that I find his manners especially engaging. Still, I know you think very highly of him, and that is recommendation enough to satisfy me of his good character.”
“Thank you, Richard. I really cannot account for Arthur’s behavior tonight; he was not at all himself. I do so want the two of you to be friends, but you have got off on the wrong foot, I fear.”
“Yes, Mr. Evensong seems to have taken an instant dislike to me for some reason. I daresay he will get over it in time.”
~~*~~
Tom rejoined our family party shortly after breakfast the next morning, but Arthur did not arrive until mid-afternoon because of his appointment with Mr. Pierce. Everybody waited in suspense for the outcome of the interview, with Agnes suffering the most perturbation due to her vested interest in the case. We gathered round when Arthur came in, expecting a full report.
“Well, Mr. Evensong, what can you tell us? How goes your business with Mr. Pierce?” my father inquired on behalf of us all.
Arthur begrudgingly informed us that, after a long discussion, the two of them had concluded their business without coming to any satisfactory understanding. “There is very little chance that I will ever be rector of Wildewood parish. I can tell you that much.”
“Why are you so pessimistic about your chances? Has Mr. Pierce definitely decided to give the preferment to another man?” I asked.
“Not exactly, no.”
“Then what exactly did he say?” pressed Tom.
After a thoughtful pause and a heavy sigh, Arthur explained. “He said that although he would reserve his final decision until my ordination, the job was as good as mine.
However
,” he hastened to add as the group reacted to this news, “I told him I was not interested.”
“You did what?” exclaimed Agnes.
“Oh, Arthur! Surely you are only joking,” said I. “You would not really refuse such an advantageous situation, would you?”
“I would and I have.”
“But, why?” Mama chimed in.
“Because I was fully convinced that the outcome of accepting would have been insupportable. For various personal and professional reasons, which it can serve no purpose to enumerate here, I am quite certain that such an arrangement would have suited neither myself nor Mr. Pierce in the end. I will not be put into such an untenable position. I am sorry to disappoint you all, but I assure you that it cannot be helped.”
As the protests rose again from more than one quarter, Papa came to Arthur’s aid. “Now, now, there’s an end to it. Let us say no more about the matter. We must trust Mr. Evensong’s judgment. I am sure he knows what he is about.”
~~*~~
Arthur’s unpopular decision put a stop to all the blissful speculation between Agnes and myself over the delightful prospect of living always as neighbors together in Surrey. Immediately upon discovering that such a possibility existed, our imaginations lost no time in fixing it as a certainty of fate and adding to the picture such embellishments as our lively minds naturally supplied. Now the dream with all its trimmings lay dashed to pieces at our feet.
“How could he do it?” demanded Agnes that night in my room. “He knows we cannot marry or even be engaged until he has secured a living. What was he thinking of, to throw away such an ideal situation where we could all have been so happy?”
“He must have had his reasons,” I offered weakly. “You know that Arthur has exceptionally high principles and standards.”
“Do not defend him! ‘Principles and standards,’ you say. Pig-headedness more like.” She stomped about the room, eventually dissipating some of her exasperation. “Perhaps you could speak to him, Jo. He listens to you. If you could only persuade him to reconsider, it might not be too late. He could apologize to Mr. Pierce – say that he has changed his mind and wants the appointment after all.”
“I think there is little chance of that. You give too much credit to my influence with Arthur, and I highly doubt Mr. Pierce would be prepared to overlook such an insult in any case.”
“Oh, very well, then. I suppose we shall have to resign ourselves to it, but it is all extremely vexing! If we must suffer such a setback, he could at least have had the courtesy to offer some kind of credible explanation.”
“As disappointed as I am at the outcome, I believe Arthur may be right. Indeed, when I consider it, I cannot image that he and Mr. Pierce would at all suit one another. Between them there is too great a disparity of mind. Added to their philosophical differences, perhaps Arthur disapproves of Mr. Pierce’s character.”
“That may well be. Mr. Pierce would not be my first choice for a neighbor either. But if you can tolerate having the man as your father-in-law, Jo, I would have thought Arthur could put up with him as his patron. No, he had better have a more compelling reason than that or I’ll not soon forgive him.”
On the Town
In contrast to Agnes’s lingering distress over the failed negotiations between Arthur and the senior Mr. Pierce, everybody else diplomatically forgot the incident entirely, or at least had the manners to pretend as if they did. Richard appeared at our door next morning at the appointed hour, followed directly by Arthur and Tom, none of whom alluded to it in any way.
We had already determined that the day should be spent showing the newcomers the sights of Bath. Their stay would not be long, so there was no time to lose. Accordingly, we set forth shortly after breakfast – Agnes, Tom, Arthur, Richard and I. I had, by then, been in Bath over three months, and Richard nearly as long. So, the two of us served as guides for the tour of the now familiar streets, landmarks, shops, and views. The weather, though cold, remained agreeably dry for our long outing, which began with a visit to the magnificent Abbey followed by a stop at the Pump-room. Almost as soon as we arrived at the latter, Mr. Cox appeared to pay his compliments to the ladies and be introduced to the two unfamiliar gentlemen. He attached himself to our party whilst we remained there but did not attempt to follow us beyond.
Milsom Street being directly along our way, we paid a brief call on the Grahams before moving on. Afterward, Richard remarked, “Jo, I meant to tell you that I saw Mr. Ramsey and his mother yesterday. Being in Milsom Street again has reminded me. My father and I had errands here and we chanced to meet them coming out of Molland’s. I must say that Mrs. Ramsey is quite an imposing woman – a force to be reckoned with, I’ll be bound.”
“Ah! I have not met her myself, but that agrees with Mr. Ramsey’s description. I venture to guess that it must have been an interesting encounter. How did your father and Mrs. Ramsey get on?”
“Hmm, yes. Well, they began awkwardly enough, to be sure – each one sizing up the other, I believe; neither willing to give ground. For a long moment, I thought sure there would be fireworks. Yet incredibly, before the conversation broke up, they seemed to have struck an accord of some sort between them.”
“Perhaps we can put it down to the regard one feels for a kindred spirit,” I suggested with a mischievous glance at Agnes.
Our route took us through the Circus and on to view the magnificent houses of the Royal Crescent, then back toward town via the gravel walk, and south past Queen’s Square and beyond. As we five strolled by Westgate Buildings in the course of our travels, a well-looking young woman walking on the other side of the street attracted our attention. I had never seen her before, but I thought I caught a look of recognition pass across Richard’s face. He tipped his hat to the lady who nodded in return, confirming it. Though I resisted the powerful urge to quiz Richard about it, Tom did the honors for me.
“Who was that fine young woman, Mr. Pierce?”
“Oh, just an old acquaintance from Surrey; nobody of any significance.”
“Not to you, perhaps, but I think I’d quite like to meet her,” rejoined Tom.
“I should be only too happy to introduce you, sir, if the occasion arises.”
Richard and I had saved the walk up to Beechen Cliff for the culmination of the tour. Poetically, and in actual fact, it could be nothing less than the high point of the day. The stately hill encrusted in a glorious tangle of greenery was a sight in itself, surpassed only by the prospect from the top, which overlooked the entire town and surrounding area. Upon gaining the summit, the whole party took some minutes to admire what could be seen from the elevated vantage point, and some minutes more to rest from the exertion of the assent.
Tom would not waste the view by sitting down, however. “What a very fine thing it is for Bath to have a high hill located so commodiously, as if it had been erected here expressly for the purpose of providing visitors the means to properly appreciate the grandeur of the place. Look how the Avon winds round the town, hemming it in on two sides. There is the Abbey, Queen’s Square and, afar off to the left, the Royal Crescent where we walked earlier. The facade fairly glows where the sun strikes it. Remarkable. Indeed, the whole town quite exceeds my expectations. A triumph in classic architectural design flawlessly executed, in my humble opinion. Mr. John Wood and his son have left a great legacy behind them here.”
“Good gracious, Tom!” I said with amusement. “Your enthusiasm astounds me. I have never known you to speak so lyrically on any topic before, let alone the value of fine architecture and a picturesque view. It must be your expensive education finally showing some effect; our father and mother will be so pleased.”
“I cannot make out if that is a compliment or an insult. With you, dear sister, it is often difficult to tell. I think you give far too much credit to Oxford regardless. Perhaps my education allows me to speak with more understanding on such subjects, but I trust no one need teach me to appreciate a thing of beauty, be it a Gothic cathedral, a view from a hilltop, or the face of a pretty woman,” he said, gesturing to the named articles in turn and finishing with a nod to Agnes’s remarkable countenance as a case in point.
Agnes glowed with pleasure.
“If it were admissible to contradict a lady, I would have to side with your brother against you on this occasion, Miss Walker,” said Richard. “Any man with an ounce of sense will recognize
true
beauty when he sees it,” he added looking at me, not my more-handsome friend, and bringing my hand to his lips.
Arthur, who looked uncomfortable at the direction the conversation had taken, declined to join the other two gentlemen in their
ode to woman
. He turned instead to more practical matters. “Well then, if the ladies are sufficiently rested, we should start back. We only just have time to get them home by dinner as it is. Come now, Agnes, take my arm. The path is very rough.”
~~*~~
That evening, when we – the same group of five – attended a ball in one of the assembly rooms, we saw the lady from Westgate Buildings again. She spied us also and made her way directly toward Richard.
“It seems as if you will get your wish to meet the ‘fine young woman’ after all, Mr. Walker,” he said. “Miss Fennimore, how do you do? Allow me to present my friends: Miss Walker, Miss Pittman, Mr. Evensong and Mr. Walker. Everybody, this is Miss Fennimore, an old friend of mine from Surrey.”
“A pleasure to make your acquaintance, I’m sure,” she simpered. “But, Richard, why so formal? ‘Miss Fennimore’ indeed. La! You know you have called me Margaret forever.”
“Yes, of course. How good of you to remind me, Margaret.”
“Now, that’s better. I hope you and these charming friends of yours,” nodding to the men, “will each spare a dance for me, for I have as yet no other acquaintance in Bath, and I am vastly fond of a ball.”
Tom very willingly petitioned for the honor of the first two dances with Miss Fennimore. Arthur took his turn without complaint. And later, Richard did his duty by her as well. Whilst Richard was thus occupied and Agnes continued distracted by the ever-present Mr. Cox, Arthur asked me to dance.
“Now tell the truth, old friend,” I responded. “Do you feel obliged to stand up with me in Richard’s absence, or do you honestly wish to dance? I seem to remember that you dislike the amusement.”
“Dancing in general, perhaps, but not this opportunity in particular. Nothing should give me more pleasure than to stand up with you, dear girl. I have not had the privilege these many months and may not again… for a long while.”
“Very well, then.” I allowed him to lead me out onto the floor. “But I should more easily believe it a pleasure if you had the face of a happy man instead of the melancholy bearing of one who has just lost his best friend. Are you still brooding over your disagreeable interview with Mr. Pierce?”
“Perhaps I am.”
I could think of nothing helpful to contribute on that topic, so I held my peace several minutes as we danced. It was good to be with Arthur again, to look across at his steady gaze, to feel the warmth of his firm hand through my glove. I realized that, even with all the excitement of the last few months, I had sorely missed his company. Now, who could say where he and Agnes would finally settle, or how seldom I might see them in future?
Arthur broke in upon my thoughts. “Now
you
are the one who looks as if you had lost your best friend.”
“Do I? I am too transparent, it seems. I’m sorry, Arthur. I have no doubt that you made the correct decision about Mr. Pierce’s offer. But I cannot help thinking how heavenly it would have been to have you and Agnes always living nearby… and how much I shall miss you both after I am married. So it is like losing my best friends after all, you must concede.”
“Yes, I too regret the way things have turned out… more than I can say.”
When our dance concluded, Arthur begged me for a second. “Agnes will not miss me. As you see, she is going to dance with Mr. Cox again. She prefers his company to mine tonight,” he said evenly. “Tell me, is he a man of good fortune?”
“Yes, I believe so. You mustn’t mind him, though; he means nothing to Agnes. I am sure of it. She is only flattered by his preference… and I fear she has not quite forgiven you yet for turning down Mr. Pierce. I daresay she will rally in another day or two.”
“No doubt. I shall follow your example of forbearance in the meantime. I notice that it bothers you not in the least to see your Mr. Pierce lavishing similar attentions on Miss Fennimore.”
Richard’s whereabouts and behavior had quite escaped my notice whilst I danced with Arthur. Now, however, I saw that he seemed to be talking with Miss Fennimore in an unnecessarily familiar manner, his eyes holding hers with that same intensity that I had come to know so well myself. As I watched, they laughed together conspiratorially, as if they shared some secret joke. Was it my imagination, or did their hands hold longer and their bodies pass nearer each other than the movements of the dance strictly required?
“Never mind, Jo. She is nothing compared to you,” Arthur was saying. “Even a fool should be able to see that,” he added dryly.