For the Love of Dixie (5 page)

Present

“Why didn’t you tell me this?” she whispers.

“When? It took me another year to get my patch thanks to that evil bastard, and by then you’d moved on and found happiness. I saw it with my own eyes. I didn’t want to destroy that. Not after hearing about how I fucked you up so badly.” I shake my head. “No, it was better to just let it be until the time was right.”

“Why now?” she asks, crossing her arms under her chest.

“Because I can protect you from whatever he tries to pull and his time is almost over. He knows that.”

She bites at her lip and shakes her head. “This is too much. I can’t.”

I didn’t expect her to forget her anger toward me, but I’d hoped for something more. “I get that. Just…it’s time we stop pretending like things never happened between us, and I want to try again.”

“You hurt me bad, Joel.”

I close my eyes. “I know. But keeping you safe and me in a position to protect you was number one, over everything.”

“I get that. Y-you really think he would’ve hurt me?”

“I saw it in his eyes, babe. There’s no doubt in my mind he would’ve taken vengeance. I couldn’t live with that.”

“You’re still hell bent on telling them?” she asks.

I meet her gaze. “I’m a bastard. If I can’t have you, neither can anyone else in this club. You want to go find a civilian and live the regular life, I can’t stop you. I’ll hate that shit, but eventually, I’ll accept it. Seeing you here and knowing your place is by my side I couldn’t take. I’d kill someone.”

She must see the truth in my eyes because for once, she keeps her comments to herself. “When?”

“Next time we go to church in a couple of days.”

“Okay, I’ll break it to my Pops before then.”

“You want me to be with you?” I ask.

“I think it’s best if you’re not.”

“I can respect your opinion. But I’m not leaving you in this alone again. Tell me when and where,” I say.

“Tomorrow around noon.”

“I’ll be there.”

“I need air and space right now. I’m going to go.”

“Go where?”

“Anywhere but here.” She walks to the door.

I ball my fists, fighting back my need to keep her with me. “If you run, I’ll follow you.”

“I’m done running. This is me choosing to walk away.” She disappears from my door.

I hang my head. Funny, I thought the truth would make me feel better, but I feel like dog shit on the bottom of someone’s shoe.
Shit has to get worse before it can better,
I think, hoping it’s not a lie.

Dixie Rose

I watch Pop eat his food and study the changes in him. His face is slimmer, and he seems spryer. We’ve been on the diet for almost a month, and his bitching has gone quiet. The deal suits us both. I get to stay here and soak up time with my father. He gets a cook and I suppose the same. As tough as my dad is, he never fails to show me love and affection.

The doorbell rings.

He looks up from his salad with steak and frowns. “I wasn’t expecting anyone. Get the gun from the table.”

I shake my head. “I invited someone over, Pops.”

“Ahhh.” He cleans his plate.

I walk over and open the door, allowing Echo to step in.

He’s practically edible in his ass hugging jeans, black boots, T-shirt, and cut.

The smell of leather and cologne wakes butterflies in my belly. Knowing the truth made a crack in the wall I’d put up between us. How could I continue to hate him when he’d done this for me? It’s got me all tangled up inside. I need to sort my thoughts and emotions. Between keeping up on Pop, check-ups, and getting things moved from my old place, I haven’t carved out the time.

“Shit. I can see I’m going to need a drink for this one,” Pops says as I close the door. “Breaking those rules, girl. I need a scotch straight up.”

“Me too, and only one,” I say.

He grunts.

I know it drives him nuts, my mothering, but once I drill it into his head, he’ll be able to do it on his own. I pull down the small tumblers and pour two fingers in for us both. “Echo?”

“I’m good,” he says.

I can hear the nervousness in his voice. The sadist part of me likes it. Regardless of the reason, this man had shattered my heart, and dealt a blow to my self-esteem. It’d taken years to get over it. I put the cap on the bottle and put it back in the cabinet. Walking over to the table, I set a glass in front of Pops. “Sit,” I say to Echo, gesturing to the seat across from Pops.

He sinks into the chair and clears his throat.

Pops takes a sip of his whiskey.

I follow suit, preferring to lean against the counter and watch how this will play out. “I never said anything, but Echo and I had a thing for a couple of years in high school.” 

“I knew it was with someone, but could never get a clue on who though. I figured if you were that careful about things, you were being safe like I taught you,” Pops says.

My face grows hot, and I shoot the whiskey to dispel the embarrassment. No one wants to talk casually to their father about their sex life.

“I’m guessing shit didn’t pan out. Not unusual in teen romance. Why you bringing this to me now?” Pop asks.

“It was more than a teen romance, Hoss. We were planning on getting hitched before she went away to school.”

His eyes bulge. “What?” he roars.

I flinch.

“Start talking now,” Pop orders.

“I was young and in love. I never thought I’d find another who could make me feel as cherished, and safe, and he understood our world. He was the best of everything. We had a deal. We’d get hitched, and I’d go off to college and get my degree,” I say.

“So what the hell happened?” Pops growls.

“I didn’t show up. Shit came up, I couldn’t get the word out to her and …” He shakes his head, trialing off.

“You stood my little girl up at the altar at eighteen? I should put a got-damn bullet in your brain, right the fuck now. Jesus shit! I knew she hit rock bottom in college. I thought it was growing pains, being out of the nest for the first time. ”

“We never got that far, Pops. Tell him the whole thing, Echo. He needs to hear it.”

“Fuck. My dad found out—”

“Bet he didn’t take too kindly to that,” Pops interjects. His knuckles are white from gripping the tumbler, and his eyes are dark with anger.

“No, he didn’t.”

“What’d he do, boy?”

“Threatened to keep me from getting my patch, and in so many words, threatened her. I needed to get that top rocker to protect her.”

“I remember that. He was running your ass into the ground for a year and putting off getting your colors. Fucking racist bastard.”

I’ve never heard Pops bad mouth his brother like this.

“I put up with his shit because he was my brother. But when he starts fucking with my daughter, I draw the damn line. Your hands were tied at the time, brother, I get that. What the hell happened after you got your top rocker?”

“I went down to campus and saw her. She was happy. How could I ruin that? I know how much she struggled. I kept up with her and heard all about it from Blue who never fucking let up on me. What kind of asshole would I be to wreck her all over again? It wasn’t what she needed from me. I couldn’t let my selfishness get in the way, so I stepped back and waited for the time to come again.”

“And now?”

“Now…I want the truth out there, and I want my second chance,” Echo says.

“Ha, what exactly you plan on saying? What even makes you think you rank another shot?” Pops barks.

“Show him, Dixie Rose,” Echo demands.

My hands shake as I peel down the yoga pants and reveal the crown with the bold E in the center.

“Son of a bitch! You made her your old lady?”

“I did, and I’m ready to claim my property.” He stares Pops in the eyes.

“You don’t do anything halfway, do you, girl?” Pop asks. “You know the way this works as well as I do. This is for life. No falling out is going to change that. You planning on bringing this to church, Echo?”

“Yeah, wanted to let you know now, so you weren’t blindsided.”

“I appreciate it, son. You two need to figure out what the fuck you’re doing before then. Because believe me, they’ll ask, and your old man will react. Mouth ain’t the type to let shit be. Make sure you can protect her,” Pops says.

“I can.”

I hate the agreement they’re coming to. It gives me less to put between us.

“You hear me, girl?” Hoss asks.

“I heard you, Pops,” I say.

“Good, now pour me another drink, and get out of here. You two got shit to discuss.”

Just like that, he lays down the gauntlet.

If I come back home unable to answer the questions I know he’ll rapid fire at me, I’m going to get my ass handed to me. He never sugarcoats shit about the club or goes easier on me because I’m a girl. We have to handle this the proper way, or we’ll all be in deep shit. Secrets will get you fucked up fast in our life.

“Let’s go, D’Rose,” Echo says, standing.

The combo name makes me weak. I haven’t heard it in so long. I close my eyes and hold onto the counter. Taking a moment to collect myself, I step away and follow him out of the house.

“They’re already talking about us,” Echo says.

“The club?”

“Who else?” he replies. “You know they’re all like a dog with a bone, waiting around for the latest scrap of information on something new. It’s like living in a small town multiplied by a hundred.”

“Mouth say anything to you?” I ask.

“Not yet. I’m sure he knows where I stand on this by now. He can’t bully me anymore, so I figure he’ll just sit back and make his disapproval read loud and clear. Like I give a fuck.”

The bitterness in Echo’s voice stuns me. The sun rose and set by his father.
He’s changed now. He’ll stand up for you.
I want to place my trust in him, but it’d be opening myself up for potential heartache.
So, you’ll sacrifice his standing? After what he did for you?
He braved my hate and anger to keep me safe, never saying a word because he thought I was better off.

I close the door behind me and wrap my arms around his waist as I trail behind him. This brought back too many memories. Riding out by the ocean was always one of our favorite things to do when we could get away. Seeing the sand and the ribbon of blue that ran alongside it as the wind blew my hair away from my body and the sun warmed my flesh was a memory I still held dear. He gave me freedom in a world that put me in a cage. I pause when I see his bike and run my hands over the familiar chrome beast.

“She missed you, too,” Echo says.

I look at him and smile. I can’t hold onto the anger I once felt—I’m not that petty—but I can’t forget the utter desolation either.
Direct it toward the man who deserves it…Mouth.
It’s so cut and dry and logical in my mind, but the heart never forgets that type of injury and for so long, Echo had been the one I held the blame on. “Where are we going?” I ask.

“Wherever you want.”

I shrug.

“I got a place,” he says as he climbs onto his steel steed.

I climb on behind him and wrap my arms around his waist. I want to lean my face against his cut and remember what it was to feel protected once more, but I resist the urge. I’m used to being on my own and taking care of myself. Since I left, I traveled, held my own job, got my own place, and dated around. I had a semi-serious relationship for a couple of years with a handsome man named Chris, but nothing came close to the passionate connection I had with this man.

The engine roars to life, and the vibration makes me moan. He pulls away from the curb, and I can’t help but appreciate the fact that we’re no longer sneaking around. It made me feel a bit like a dirty secret, all the hiding and coordinating. What had once been exciting grew old fast.

In a world where claim and marks mean everything, I felt like a sidepiece. Then he’d popped the question and silenced all my doubts and fears. In thirty three years, no man had ever made me feel the way Echo did.
Could I afford to pass up on this opportunity?
The resounding answer was no. We hit the open road, and the nostalgia bitch slapped me into loosening up. I let out a whoop, and I hear his voice join mine.

Ten minutes later, we pull into the parking lot of one of my favorite places in San Mateo, and I melt. The Japanese Tea Garden was a peaceful haven that always provided an escape. “You remembered.”

“Impossible to forget as much time as we spent here. Last place we’d ever see anyone we knew who’d care we were together,” Echo says.

“And you don’t care that this will put you at odds with your family? Your father and your brother.”

“What you don’t understand is, it already did. The minute he badmouthed you and cornered me, something in our relationship broke. I could never see him the same, and I felt sorry for my brother, following along behind him blindly. I’m not shocked he’s doing time. He could never think for himself. That made him vulnerable to getting caught.”

It’s weird seeing him be so cold and callus toward his own bloodline. “But you love them.”

“Love and like are two completely different things. Come on, I don’t want to waste any more of our time talking about them.” He climbs off and holds out his hand.

I take it and know I’ve already made my mind up about us.