Forbidden Liaison: They lived and loved for the here and now (10 page)

‘If her mother’s got anything to do with it, Odette won’t get to that point,’ Margaret said.

‘You don’t mean…?’

‘That’s exactly what I mean,’ Margaret replied.

Hannah gasped. ‘If Izzy ever… her father would banish her forever.’

‘Yes, he would,’ Margaret replied soberly.

The back door was unlocked that morning as Izzy walked in, expecting to see her Aunt. Harry was in the kitchen, pouring himself a cup of tea. He acknowledged Izzy then walked back into the living room to sit by the fire.

‘Where’s Aunt Margaret?’ Izzy asked.

‘Shopping,’ was his answer.

‘I’ll put the vegetables under the sink, shall I?’ Izzy asked.

There was no response.

‘Yes, just do that,’ Izzy replied answering her own question.

She was about to say farewell to her uncle when Heinrich appeared, half dressed. He only had on a shirt and trousers, held up by braces, and socks on his feet.

‘Good morning,’ he said.

‘Hello,’ Izzy replied. ‘Have to dash.’

‘Do you
have
to rush off?’ he asked.

‘Yes.’

‘I have the day off,’ he said.

‘I haven’t,’ Izzy replied.

‘Will you stop being so damned skittish,’ Heinrich said frowning. ‘I only want to talk to you.’

Izzy sat down on the wooden chair which was always by the table with the barley-twist legs.

‘I have something to show you, it’s in my room,” Heinrich said.

‘I’ve heard that one before,’ Izzy retorted.

Heinrich laughed. Izzy loved that smile, it ironed out that stern façade to show her what was inside that hard outer shell. She had felt his gentle touches, his tenderness when making love. Heinrich could see the drawbridge was rising, and he took the opportunity. 

‘Come; let me show you,’ he said holding out his hand.

Izzy took hold of the hand that he offered and she jolted as if given an electric shock. Heinrich felt it too but he held on tight, leading her up the stairs into his room. He shut the door, walking towards the table by the window.

‘Take a look at these. I want to know if you like them.’ He said pointing at his sketches that were laid out over the table.

Izzy walked over to the table then looked through a succession of sketches, they were mainly of the island’s most beautiful spots: Corbiere Lighthouse, Mont Orgeuil Castle, Elizabeth Castle; St Catherine’s Bay.

She smiled. ‘They’re beautiful,’ she said turning her head to look at him.

‘Not as beautiful as you,’ he replied. ‘Look.’ And he plucked some sketches from a drawer in the chest and gave them to Izzy.

She looked through them, surprised at the content. She had already seen the one of her, but it was only her head. Izzy was now shocked.

‘You sketched me when I was asleep?’ she asked alarmed.  

‘No, I sketched you from memory. I’ve seen your naked body, and how could I forget a body as lovely as yours. A body you shared with me, and these are not for anyone else’s eyes but yours and mine.’ Izzy looked down. ‘Can I come and see you. I really do love that woman I met on the beach that day.’

‘But it will have to come to an end,’ Izzy said looking at him now.

‘Yes, it will, but why can’t we enjoy life and be happy until it does. There’s nothing left in this world to enjoy or be happy about, only what we can make of it ourselves, today.’

‘I’m afraid,’ she said.

‘What are you afraid of?’ he asked touching her face.

‘Afraid that I might get to love you too much, and it panics me,’ Izzy replied.

Heinrich smiled at her and kissed her lightly on the forehead. ‘May I come and see you this afternoon,’ he said.

Izzy just smiled and nodded.

Heinrich arrived at the cottage just after dark making sure no-one saw him. As he approached the gate he noticed square rags of cloth hanging on the drying line outside, flapping in the breeze. Money was so tight, Izzy had been reduced to using old bits of cloth for sanitary protection, then having to boil them afterwards. Izzy eagerly waited for him and every now and then she got up to peer through the net curtain hanging at the kitchen window. When she saw him approach the cottage she went to sit down by the fire. He knocked. She didn’t get up straight away. She didn’t want to appear too keen so she made him knock three times before she went to the door to greet him with a big smile.

‘Hello,’ he said smiling back as he stepped inside, and as Izzy closed the door she just fell into his arms. They hugged; kissed; touched: but there was nothing sexual at that point, simply tender love and caring. Heinrich remained smiling as he looked at her lovely face.

Izzy moved away to sit on the sofa in front of the fire, Heinrich followed to sit next to her. There were no lights on, only one lit candle that sat on the mantel shelf.

‘This is very cosy,’ Heinrich said putting his arm around her.

Izzy cuddled up to him putting her feet underneath her as she settled into him.

‘I’m glad you came back,’ she eventually said.

‘So am I,’ Heinrich replied.

‘Why did you leave in such a hurry?’

Heinrich wanted to tell her about his elder brother, Willi, his family, his non-relationship with his wife, his beautiful daughters, those few hours with Irme, and how she had made him see things more clearly: what he was and who he was. But that life was far away again, his life now was here, just the two of them, grabbing a few moments wrapped in their own special cocoon that cushioned the grim outside world to isolate them in the here and now. He could lie to her, but that would break the connection they had, and that union was still fragile enough to break, and if it did, the fracture would leave pain and uncertainty. He didn’t want that either. And he certainly didn’t want her feeling sorry for him. On the other hand he didn’t want her to think he was telling her things she wanted to hear, and on reflection the truth could be interpreted as being just that. This tenuous position he found himself in had solely come about through circumstance.

‘My brother was killed, my family wanted me home for the funeral,’ he eventually said.

‘I’m sorry about your brother. Were you close?’ she asked, her response genuine.

‘Yes, even though he was ten years older than me.’

‘How are your daughters?’ she asked.

Heinrich smiled. ‘They smothered me with kisses and cuddles, and wouldn’t leave me alone when I went to see them.’

Izzy lifted her head. His guard was totally down and he’d let slip something she immediately cottoned on to.

‘You didn’t stay with them?’ she asked.

Heinrich sighed. ‘The truth?’ he asked.

‘The whole truth,’ Izzy replied. ‘I want to know everything.’

‘Some things are not for women’s ears,’ Heinrich replied.

‘How are we expected to understand if you men don’t talk to us,’ Izzy retorted.

Heinrich stroked her hair. ‘I repulse my wife. She cringed every time I took off my shirt. My injury put a sudden stop to our sex life. I don’t live there any more, I just visit. She’s taken a lover.’     

Izzy didn’t respond for a while.

‘Alain and I took our honeymoon in Brittany. We hired a cottage for a month. He loved wild boar hunting. One day we were out with a group, but Alain and I took off by ourselves. It wasn’t long before we encountered a group of young boar. Alain raised his rifle, but before he could take the shot a big wild boar charged him. I was not quick enough either, and the boar shattered his left leg just below the knee. I shot the boar then called for help. The rest of the group came running and they managed to carry him to the nearest doctor. He was in a bad way, the doctor wanted, there and then, to amputate his leg just below the knee. Alain categorically refused and made me promise that if he passed out, I would not let them chop his leg off. It healed, but it left some ugly scars and a bone that didn’t fuse properly which left him with a slight limp.’

‘But you didn’t stop loving him,’ Heinrich stated.

‘No, because I married the man: he’d not changed,’ Izzy replied.

‘But I have,’ Heinrich said thoughtfully. ‘Physically and mentally. Irme made me see that.’

His guard was slipping even further.

‘Who’s Irme?’ Izzy asked.

‘A lady I know,’ Heinrich replied.

‘A prostitute?’

‘No, a neighbour.’

‘Is that all she is to you?’

‘She’s an older woman who understands.’

‘Understands what?’

‘Sex and love can be detached,’ Heinrich replied.

‘Did you have sex with her?’

‘Yes.’

Izzy got up from the sofa to stand in front of the fire. ‘Why?’ she frowned as she stared into the flames of the burning logs.

Heinrich closed his eyes.

‘Why? Izzy asked again, turning now to look at him.

‘Because she was there: because she offered it to me: because it was just a fuck, quite reciprocal. Because I wanted you, and you had made it quite clear our relationship was over.’ Heinrich sighed. ‘I didn’t think I would ever see you again.’

‘So, it was a business arrangement, but without money changing hands,’ Izzy remarked.

‘Yes, I suppose you could say that,’ Heinrich replied.

Izzy looked disappointed, if not hurt.

‘Would it make you feel better if I told you I had paid for a prostitute?’ Heinrich asked.   

Izzy didn’t answer him.

‘Are you are angry with me?’ he asked.

Izzy looked at him, he was turning very serious again. It always happened, oh, so quickly.

‘You are angry with me,’ he stated.

‘No, I’m not, I’m in love with you.’

‘How can you love two men at the same time?’ he asked.

‘How can you fuck two women at the same time?’ Izzy retaliated.

Heinrich snorted. ‘That’s easy.’

Izzy sighed. ‘Yes, I suppose it is.’

Heinrich stood up. ‘I was angry, grieving, and lonely, and I wanted you, but you weren’t there.’

‘None of this seems to make much sense to me,’ Izzy said. ‘You are here, and Alain is… I haven’t the foggiest idea where he might be, but I do know he wouldn’t be living like a monk either. But, here, now, I do love you. In here, in my cottage, we are not enemies. Out there,’ she said looking towards the door, ‘we have to act as enemies.’

‘I love you,’ he whispered walking towards her. ‘May I stay the night?’

‘Yes, but…’

‘I just want to be with you,’ he said, having seen the evidence outside as to why she was hesitating. ‘I just want to sleep beside you.’

Izzy smiled and he kissed her lightly on the cheek before they both sat on the sofa, watching the flames from the log fire shoot up the chimney until the wood turned to glowing embers and the dog became anxious to go outside.

Heinrich awoke to the sound of Izzy’s alarm clock. He had slept soundly all night and was wanting the lavatory. He placed his feet on the floor and in just his long-Johns, sat on the edge of the bed rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Izzy moved to kneel behind him. She stroked his bare back, then her hands travelled around to rest on his chest. She kissed him before putting her head between his shoulder blades.

‘Good morning,’ she smiled. ‘You slept soundly: you snore.’

Heinrich stood up, and turning towards her he bent forward to kiss her on the mouth.

‘Good morning,’ he said. ‘And you fidget.’

Izzy laughed as Heinrich got up to pull on his trousers, socks and boots to go outside to the lavatory. He was washing his face in cold water at the kitchen sink when Izzy came in fully dressed. 

‘Have you washed already,’ he asked.

‘You were so long out there, the time it took you I could have had a bath if there was any hot water,’ she responded.

He could have told her how he suffered with terrible constipation, but thought his toilet habits were best kept to himself.

‘What are you doing this morning?’ he asked.

‘The usual, milking, and any other job that needs doing. You?’

‘Same here: keeping an eye on the troops, patrolling the island, and if I’m very lucky I will not be summoned before the Major.’

‘Are you finding life here boring?’ Izzy smiled.

‘Yes, aren’t you?’

‘There is a plus side to our boring existence. If life had remained as it was then you would not be here,’ she said.

‘And I would not have met you that morning on the beach,’ he replied putting his arms around her.

‘Kiss me, goodbye,’ Izzy asked.

Heinrich kissed her. ‘Tschuss,’ he said. 

‘Not,
auf wiedersehn
?’ Izzy asked.

‘That is too permanent. Tschuss is for close friends and family: less permanent.’

Izzy put her hand into her pocket. ‘Here, I’ll give you a key. I must be off, I’ll be late. You lock up and leave before anyone can see you.’   

‘I’ll come again when I can get the time off,’ he informed as she opened the door.

Izzy, before closing the door, blew him a kiss and he caught it.