Forbidden Paths (15 page)

I’m a lot of things, but not the loving kind. Not that I couldn’t love, but people couldn’t love me. Joey was just confusing the sex with love that’s all. There’s no way I’d deny the chemistry between us, the sexual chemistry. But at the same time, there’s no way I can put him through my shit.

Tearing my eyes away from him, I look out over the water seeing Faith smiling and laughing. She’s finally happy. For the first time in a long time, her smile is genuine. A small smile pulls at the corners of my mouth and inadvertently my eyes are drawn back to Joey.

Could he really love me?

Standing, I decide that there’s only one way I’ll ever find out. The walk toward him was the scariest fifty steps I’ve ever taken. Yes, I counted each step, but not because I was dreading being near Joey. I counted because I am dreading being turned away. As it stands right now, Joey’s the only person that could truly hurt or save me. That thought scares the living daylights out of me.

“Joey?”

Joey jumps and spins around to face me. “Hazel,” he breathes.

“Can, um,” I look down at my hands unable to meet his eyes. “Can we talk?” My voice is just above a whisper.

He stands up and brushes the sand from his shorts and legs. “Of course. Would you like to take a walk while we talk?”

“Sure, that’d probably be better,” I mumble.

We start walking down the beach. The voices of the others soon fall into a muffle silence behind us. Joey is struggling with what to do, I can feel it. His hand keeps moving close to mine, but he quickly pulls it back before he touches me. Really, I can’t blame his behavior. In the time since we’ve known who each other, I’ve done everything but be friendly.

“Why?” I finally bring myself to asking.

His head turns toward me, his brows furrowed in confusion. “Why what, Hazel?”

Stopping our walk, he turns to face me and for the first time, I meet his eyes. “Why do you like me?”

“Why do I
like
you?” He sounds almost shocked. “I don’t
like
you, Hazel. I’m head over heels in
love
with you.”

“But how do you know that it’s love? Maybe it’s just lust. Pure intense attraction. The only time we were together was when we were having sex. When you were paying me to have sex with you,” I emphasize. “How can that be love? How can you be sure that is love?”

He drops his head down and kicks his foot around before meeting my eyes again. There is pain and fear in his eyes. The look makes my heart race.

“It was the feeling I got when I touched you, kissed you, and just held you. You took away all my stresses and I relaxed with you.”

I laugh. “A good orgasm will do that for you.”

“It’s not about the sex,” he practically yells.

“I’m sorry,” I drop my eyes to my hands and wring them in front of me.

“Please don’t apologize. I’m sorry for screaming, but you’re the first person I’ve felt anything for since my former fiancée left me at the alter for her boyfriend. Yes, I said boyfriend. So I’m getting a little frustrated with myself, not with you.”

My hands attempt to hold my heart together as it breaks for him. “I’m so sorry. You, of all people, didn’t deserve that. She doesn’t deserve you or your love. Your girl…”

“Is standing right in front of me,” he breathes.

“You don’t know me though. Or what I’ve been through. How can you know for sure that this is love you’re feeling?”

“Because in all the times that there has been naked women around here, and let’s face it, it’s almost all the time, I’ve only ever been able to look at you. Fully clothed and you still knocked all those other girls out of the water.”

Before I could stop them, tears start to fall down my cheeks. “I don’t know if what I feel is love yet, but if we can take this slow and really get to know each other,” I swallow hard. “I want to try.”

It’s barely a whisper, but Joey hears me loud and clear. His hands push into my hair and his lips are ravenging mine as his tongue dips into my mouth. This is a kiss unlike any other kiss I’ve ever felt before. It was more, he was more and now we risk this moment with details of my past that he may not be able to handle.

Pulling back he smiles down at me tenderly, “There are things you need to know about me too, but we’ll take it slow and get to know each other. Then once we’ve told all there is then decide if it’s love or lust. Sound good?”

“Yes, on one condition.”

“What’s that?” He looks nervous.

“We can share more kisses like that,” I smile.

His answering smile is blinding. “Oh, most definitely. That and so much more.”

He dips his head and kisses me again. Within seconds, I was lost in the feelings that took over me when he kissed me like this. Getting to know him was going to be fun. The thought makes me laugh.

“What’s so funny?” There’s a smirk on his face so he’s not upset or hurt by my laughing while he’s kissing me.

“I was just thinking that getting to know you was going to be a lot of fun,” I laugh again.

“Mmm, indeed,” he growls as he claims my mouth once more.

Chapter Twenty-One

Faith

It was nice to finally relax for a change. Lia begged me to go to the beach with her. Logan told me to go while he cleaned our room. They both feel it’d do me some good to relax. Of course I agree.

Lia is like a little kid in the water, splashing and squealing. She’s cracking me up. You’d think this was the first time she’d ever been in the water. Then a sobering thought occurs to me then. It very well could be her first time in the water. She didn’t have the luxuries that I did. Of course, my luxuries came at a very high cost.

For one reason or another that thought brought my attention to Hazel. She sat there, off by herself like she didn’t want to be noticed. Her eyes were on Joey. Why won’t she just give him a damn chance?

Just then I’m splashed in the face. Turning, I find a grinning Lia. She’s biting her lip to keep from laughing.
Oh, it’s on!

“That’s funny to you, Lia?”

She nods her head, still trying not to laugh. Moving closer to her, my smile turns mischievous.

“Well, turnabout is fair play, right?”

Her face drops as she starts to back away. “No, Faith, it was fun and games.”

“Fun and games,” I pretend to think. “Yes, that’s exactly what this is.”

Just then she bumps into Leif, letting out a little scream in the process. “Leif, you scared me.”

“Now, why would I do that?” He asks as he wraps his arms around her waist.

“Leif, I’ll give you whatever you want if you throw her into the water,” I grin devilishly.

“What? No!” Lia shrieks.

“Anything I want,” he asks tightening his arms around her as she tries to escape.

“Yup.”

“Deal. I’ll collect later.”

“What? No! You’ve got to be kidding me,” she tries pathetically to get away.

Leif grins right before he launches Lia in the air. She flails in the air with a scream before hitting the water with a huge splash. My laughter is uncontrollable. It’s hurting my sides.  Lia surfaces spitting out water as she wipes her eyes.

“You bastard! You…” her tirade cuts off as she grins big.

Just then strong arms came around me. “Oh, no, no, no, no. Logan will have your balls on a platter,” I hiss.

“He’d have to catch me first,” Levi whispers in my ear right before he launches me in the air.

I barely get the word ‘bastard’ out before I hit the water. Unfortunately, the way I hit the water was more a belly flop than anything. It wasn’t full on belly, but enough that it hurt. When I come out of the water, I hold my stomach trying to catch my breath. The pain shooting through me was stealing whatever breath I can manage to get away.

“Lia,” I choke out.

Tears fill my eyes and pour down my cheeks. Every noise around me stops. The only sound I hear is water sloshing.

“What’s wrong?” Someone speaks, but I can’t really hear over the water and the blood pounding in my ears.

“Help me,” I breathe through my tears and the pain.

Someone picks me up and I’m being moved through the water. All I really want right now is Logan. I want my love.

“Logan,” I force out.

The more I’m moved the more it hurts. The bouncing and vibration only intensified the pain.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” Levi keeps saying over and over again.

After a few more moments the pain passes and I regain my breath again. Pushing myself to a sitting position, I take another deep cleansing breath.

“I’m fine. I think it was just the way I landed,” I groan as I move to stand.

Just then his warmth enveloped me. Sighing as I melt into his embrace.

“Baby, are you okay?”

“I’m fine. It was just the way I hit the water. Really I’m fine.”

Breathless, Leif pants his sentence out. “I called the doctor.”

“When will she be here?” Levi asks concerned.

“Three or Four hours. She was actually heading this way anyway.”

Logan helps me to the house. Before long the doctor is there and Logan insists on staying in the room with me. He’s fretting, but really I don’t think anything was wrong with the baby, but more the way I hit the water. Slapping the water like that hurts like a bitch.

“How have you been, Ms. Harper?”

Smiling at Logan, “Good, really good. There’s really no need to be here today,” I end on a murmur.

Pulling out some kind of device from a large plastic like container, she’s not really looking at me while she sets up the machine after clearing off the end table next to the bed. She speaks as she does.

“Actually, I was coming anyway. There’re some things I need to confirm.”

My whole body tenses and I feel Logan tense next to me. He grabs my hand and squeezes reassuringly. His body is vibrating with concern and maybe even a bit of fear. Whatever it was, he wasn’t calming down any. When he speaks, his voice falters and it racks up my fear a bit more.

“Things to confirm?”

She nods her head, but her focus is not on us right now, but whatever she’s setting up. I turn into Logan and bury my face in his chest. My heart hurts. All the pain from the past come crashing into me breaking the little hold on my nerves I had. Terror like I’ve only felt once before in my life grips me and it won’t let up. It holds no mercy and squeezes me cutting off all reason and breath.

“It’s going to be okay,” he voice is unconvincing.

“I can’t live through it again.” I sob. “I’m not strong enough.”

He pulls back and cups my head in his big hands. “Hey, we’re not thinking like that. Do you hear me?”

Even as I nod my head yes, I can’t stop the tears or the panic that consumes me. The possibility I may be reliving one of the worst moments in my life.

“Okay, Ms. Harper. Can you lie on the bed and pull your shirt up?”

She proceeds again to do another ultrasound. Again, she’s not talking to us, but focusing on the screen before her. My heart rate has not slowed in the slightest. Currently I have a vice grip on Logan’s hand. Occasionally, he’ll kiss my head and whisper something, but I’m freaking out too much to know exactly what he says.

“Wow,” Logan breathes staring at the screen. “That’s my baby,” he looks down at me with a smile so big it looks to almost split his face and shimmering eyes, “our baby.”

Even through my panic, I couldn’t help but smile. The joy in his eyes and on his face was enough to break through the panic. Suddenly the sound of a rapidly beating heart fills the silence. A tear trickles down his cheek. It’s all becoming real for him. He’s a dad and he can see it now. It’s no longer just words. Logan finally has the visual.

After a few more moments, she’s setting down everything as she finally starts to speak. “The reason I was coming here today is because we’ve gotten some results back from the scan I did when you first arrived here as well as blood results. Now it will be a few days before I get the results back from this scan, so I can’t speak certainly on the matter. However, I will tell you this to put you at a bit of ease. You are having twins,” she smiles as she stands up. “Congratulations. I have your cell phone, Mr. James. I’ll call as soon as I have something.”

“Th-thank you,” he stutters through his answer.

She left without another word. I turn and look at Logan who seems to be frozen in spot.

“Loga-” I start to say.

His lips cut off what I was going to say and he’s kissing me harder than he’s kissed me in a while. Before I know what’s happening, he’s stripping our clothes off and we are making love. It was tender, sweet, loving, and I was lost immediately. All my fears of this being too much for him were gone.

The feeling of him sliding in and out of me, murmuring how much he loves me calms me completely. He completes me. In a way I’ll never have anywhere else. Logan was my forever.

# # #

Logan

Calling out Faith’s name as we fall over the edge together, I’ve never felt this happy before. I’m going to be a father. A father of twins. You’d think I’d be freaking out, but I’m not. I’m over the moon excited.

Lying next to Faith, I gently brush the hair out of her face. She smiles lazily up at me. This is her at her most beautiful, I think. Sated, happy, relaxed, with her messed up hair and flushed face, is a breathtaking sight to behold.

“Have I told you how much I love you lately?”

She blushes, shaking her head side to side with a smirk and a wink. “But I could never hear it enough.”

“And I could never tell you enough. Faith, you are my world and you always have been. I’d jump through fire for you if it’d bring a smile to your face. There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do for you.”

“It’s the same for me. I’m so sor…”

Placing a quick kiss to her lips, I cut her off. “Don’t. We aren’t thinking of the past remember?”

She nods her head and cuddles into my side. Stroking her hair, she falls asleep in no time. Twins. I smile. I’m going to have twins. It’s like God was giving us back what we lost. It was this thought that had me climbing carefully from the bed and dressing.

As I stand there looking down at the beautiful woman fast asleep that holds the only key to my heart, I know she’s going to be so pissed at me for what I’m about to do, but I can’t sit back and let her handle it. Especially not now.

Kissing her one last time on her forehead, I leave the room to search for my brothers. Did I have a plan? Not really, but I was going to fake my way through it the best I can. Only thing stopping me right now was my brothers. If I’m going to get off this island without Faith finding out, I need their help.

Levi was sitting at the counter with his hands in his hair. He looked broken. Leif said he was blaming himself for what happened to Faith.

“Levi?”

His head snaps up and he looks at me with wide eyes. “Man I’m so sorry. I’m so freaking sorry. We were playing and I didn’t think…”

“She’s fine. The babies are fine. I got to see them on the portable ultrasound machine. I can’t believe it. I’m going to be a dad. What did I ever do so right to be rewarded with Faith and our kids?”

“Brother, you are…” He cuts off and shakes his head. “Babies? Did you say babies?”

My smile widens as I nod my head. “We’re having twins.” Even I could hear the pride and happiness in my voice.

“Wow,” he breathes, shaking his head some more.

“Listen, I need to talk to you guys. There’s something I need your help with.”

“Lanny’s outside in the pool. I’ll send him out to collect the other two.”

Levi stands and quickly heads outside to talk to Lanny. I make a grocery list while I’m at it. When I head back, I’m going to send Beau back out here with food supplies.

Twins… Man nothing in the world can bring me down right now.