“Shit!” My dad summed it up perfectly in my opinion.
“Oh honey, I’m so sorry. All your planning...” My mom sounded distraught.
“Don’t worry, Mom. We’re still going to have the wedding in September. I’m not giving up my dream wedding because of Louis’ former company’s oversight.” I sighed. “We’re going down to city hall this week to get married.”
“Well, at least Louis won’t be deported.” The disappointment in my mother’s voice was overwhelming.
I put my head in my hands. “Yes, and that’s what’s most important right now. But even if it isn’t the real wedding, I would love it if you were both there. Is there any way you would consider flying out here? I know it’s short notice, but...”
My mom didn’t have to be asked twice. “You bet we’ll be there! Right, Ted?”
My dad chuckled. “You sure do keep things interesting, Duck. Of course we’ll be there.”
“You know, Sydney, as much fun as it would be for us to fly to California, would you consider flying here and getting married in New York?” My mom was starting to sound excited. “This way, your brother and Zoe would be there and all your friends from your childhood and...your father and I could have some friends come too.”
Ah...this will allow them to have their friends attend our “wedding.” I felt like I owed this to them given the fact that our second wedding (this sounds so wrong) will be in California. Oh and the third one will be in France. Does anyone else think this sounds totally ridiculous?
“Well, Mom, I would need to talk to Louis, but what about Kate? I don’t think she would ever forgive me if I got married - for the first time that is - without her. And it wouldn’t feel right if she weren’t there.”
My mom started clicking her tongue - a sure sign she was thinking hard. “OK, I’ll check in with Kate. If her doctor won’t allow her to fly, then we’ll come to California. I’m sure Charlie and Zoe would love to come as well.”
“It wouldn’t be the same without them.” I stopped to think for a moment. “I can’t believe I’m going to be ‘
Madame
Durand’ in a week!”
“Well, I wouldn’t brag about it, Duck. Are you sure you want to change your name? Bennett has such character.”
I laughed. “You crack me up, Dad. I love you! And I love you, Mom!” I glanced at my watch. “I have to run, but I’ll call you later.”
“Bye, Syd! We love you.” My mom was chomping at the bit. If there was any way to make a wedding in New York happen, she would find it.
I hung up the phone and took a moment to catch my breath. I couldn’t believe how quickly this had happened. It was like everything involving me and Louis was in overdrive. And even though every step had scared the crap out of me, I felt no need to slow down. Somehow the pace was perfect.
To my mother’s great delight, not only had Louis agreed to her plan, but also Kate had been cleared to fly to New York no later than the following week. Unfortunately, Louis’ father had
not
been cleared to fly. He was scheduled to have liver surgery at the end of the month and his doctor didn’t feel he was well enough to make the trip. Naturally, Louis’ mother wanted to stay to take care of her husband, so Louis and I wouldn’t be married in the presence of his parents. To make matters worse, none of Louis’ extended family members would be able to come to the wedding on such short notice. My poor fiancé would be the only French person in attendance, surrounded by a sea of uncouth Americans.
Thankfully, my boss was kind enough to grant me a week off on extremely short notice. Louis and I planned to take the red-eye to New York the following Monday evening, apply for our marriage license on Tuesday and get married on Friday. This time frame would allow for ten days to plan a small reception. Well, it was supposed to be small, but it seemed to be growing by the minute. My parents kept adding people to the guest list who they absolutely HAD to invite for one reason or another.
Every time the phone rang with a change in the headcount, I cringed a little inside. Because of the rapid swell of the guest list, the reception went from being in my parents’ home to the hotel where my high school prom was held. This bothered me on a number of levels, but that’s a story for another time. And though this was going to be our
legal
wedding, it wasn’t the one I wanted the majority of the world to see. But for the sake of my parents, I would simply have to grin and bear it.
As a result of our decision to get married in New York, I had the privilege of having phone calls from my mother several times a day with regards to the reception. I thought it only fair she be able to plan this one, since I was planning the reception in California and Louis’ mom was planning the reception in France. It took every ounce of patience I had not to hang up on her after the fifth call of the day. The number of details my mother wanted my opinion on would have been enough to drive anyone
crazy. However, for a bride who wasn’t planning on getting married for another eight months, the threshold was a little...OK,
a lot
, lower. Add in the fact that I’m a complete lunatic to begin with and you’re just asking for trouble.
By the night before our flight to New York, I was ready to kill my mother. Each time she had called me (a whopping total of seventy-eight times in six days), I reminded her that I had given over all the decisions to her. Apparently, my father was no help to her as he would simply give her his opinion without any sort of discussion and Nick had cut off my mother’s phone calls to his wife due to Kate’s spiking stress levels. This meant I had to hold my mother’s hand through every, and I do mean every, single detail of the reception.
I honestly had no interest in debating cream versus sage napkins, tulips versus lilies or chicken picatta versus beef wellington. I had to feign interest in each topic and fight every attempt to tell her I didn’t consider this to be my real wedding. It wasn’t that I didn’t care, it was that I knew whatever she chose would be lovely. What irritated me the most was she didn’t realize that I was currently experiencing a massive anxiety attack since I was getting married in a much shorter time frame than I had originally planned. (Why couldn’t I hold on to my idea of the perfect pace?)
In some ways, I was barely holding it together. Consequently, these lengthy discussions were becoming the bane of my existence. On the bright side, I finally understood what it must have been like for Louis during our wedding planning thus far. Although he was lucky enough to have these discussions over a four month period (with another eight to go), while I had to endure the equivalent number of conversations in the course of one week. Not to mention the fact that I had been
far
more reasonable than my mother…
Maya thought my mother’s phone calls were completely hysterical and would call me every evening for a breakdown of the calls for the day. Part of me really wanted to kill her too, but I was touched that she was flying to New York to be there for our wedding AND to help my mother with the reception. As far as I was concerned, once I arrived in New York, I would switch into full bride mode and didn’t want to be bothered with problems of any kind. I figured Maya was going to be in hell for part of her visit, so I may as well indulge her curiosity now. I was well aware she wouldn’t find the wedding discussions with my mother even remotely funny when she was in the middle of them. That was something
I
would find completely hysterical when the time came.
The day of our flight to New York was incredibly busy at work. I had three sexual harassment training seminars to give and these sessions always came with a myriad of questions. My brain was in overdrive by the end of the day and I was looking forward to relaxing on the plane. (No, I didn’t plan on having any wine, thank you very much.) Louis had set me up with his laptop and my favorite romantic movies and I had an arsenal of magazines for my amusement just in case sleep was elusive. I was going to do everything in my power to stay calm. And more importantly, to avoid an experience like the last time we flew to New York.
Before I left for the airport, I called to check in with Kate. She and Nick were flying to New York on Thursday in order to miss as much of the wedding craziness as they could without cutting things too close. As I dialed her cell phone, I thought about how Nick was doing everything in his power to be sure his wife was allowed to stay calm and well rested. The poor man looked like he needed someone to do the same for him.
“Hi, Syd!” Cheerful Kate was in residence! It seemed her hormones were off duty for the time being.
“Hi, Kate! How are you feeling?” I missed Cheerful Kate. She had been replaced lately by Tired Kate, Weepy Kate and Bitchy Kate. (You heard me.) I wasn’t as fond of them as of my sister, but as far as I was concerned, pregnant women got a free pass. I knew Cheerful Kate would come back to me for good someday.
“I feel great! My stomach has calmed down a lot and I’ve gotten some rest.” She paused to cough. “You’re so sweet to be worrying about me when you’re about to get on a plane to New York and get married!”
“That’s how much I love you, my dear.” I took a deep breath. “I’m nervous.”
“Of course you are. It’s perfectly normal. Everything will be beautiful.” She spoke to me in soothing tones.
I closed my eyes and tried to calm down. “You’re right. Mom has planned an amazing reception. There’s nothing more I need to do.”
She laughed. “Except buy your wedding dress! You’re such a good daughter for waiting to shop with Mom.”
I exhaled slowly. “Well, she missed shopping for my real wedding dress, so I
had
to allow her the joy, even if it’s on a smaller scale.”
“It doesn’t make you nervous that you’re going to shop for the dress for your FIRST wedding a mere three days before it takes place?”
Pregnant Kate could also be just
mean
.
I bit my tongue. “It’ll be fine.”
She giggled. “I bet you’ll find a lot of choices in the juniors department. Now’s the time to shop for prom dresses!”
Uh huh. I had no response to that.
I cleared my throat. “Louis picked up the rings today, so we’re in good shape.” We had selected matching plain platinum bands. I had initially thought about a band of diamonds, but given the fact that Louis didn’t have employment, this wasn’t the time to be extravagant.
“Will you take your band off before each future wedding?”
Nice, Kate. “I hadn’t thought about it. Maybe I’ll keep adding bands.” Was there some kind of protocol? I honestly didn’t know anyone else who had been through a similar situation. I guess I would have to figure it out as we went along. I glanced at the clock and realized it was time to go. I had a few things I wanted to do before we left for the airport and Louis would be home any minute.
“Well, Kate, it’s time for me to go. The next time we see each other I’ll be extremely close to becoming half French.”
She scoffed. “You’re
such
a goofball. Marrying him won’t change the fact that you’re a full-blooded American. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. You’ll make some cute half French babies though.”
I winced. “Kate! It’s way too soon for talk of babies. Let’s get through the weddings first.” There are
three
of them, after all.
She laughed. “I’m only teasing. Have a wonderful flight! I love you, sweetie.”
“I love you, too. I’ll give you a call tomorrow. In the meantime, get some rest, OK? You and Nick both need some time to relax.”
After I hung up with Kate, I closed my eyes and slowly breathed in and out. I kept trying to find a sense of calm, but the only thing I seemed to find was panic. One of these days I was going to have to find a way to rid myself of my neurotic tendencies once and for all. Attempting to diffuse them was exhausting.
To my great delight, the flight was completely uneventful this time. Once we landed, my parents took us to their favorite diner for breakfast and then we headed straight to the town hall to apply for our marriage license. We had already made our appointment for the ceremony on Friday, so all that was left was a trip to the mall for a very important purchase. Since Louis had already purchased his wedding suit in California, he and my father headed off to the nearest electronics store while my mom and I hit the department stores.
There was very little that remotely interested me in Macy’s or Bloomingdales, so we moved on to Nordstrom. The majority of the dresses were black and even
I
knew choosing one of these dresses would be extremely bad luck. I was so desperate, I even checked the juniors section, but everything was either extremely short, extremely bright or extremely bedazzled. I guess when you’re a teenager even your clothes need to be extreme.
I was beginning to lose hope entirely, when I happened to notice a small boutique section in the corner near the lingerie department. The dresses were definitely more muted, but also more tasteful, so I allowed myself a modicum of excitement that I would finally find a suitable dress. It was really important to me that my mother was with me when I found the dress, but I began to think I was going to pay dearly for this desire and end up getting married in something my grandmother would have found fashionable. (There was a surprisingly large selection of sparkly pant suits.)
Nestled in the corner of the boutique was a gorgeous floor-length strapless gown. It was made of a pale gray raw silk and was both subtle and elegant - just the right degree of formal for my first wedding. Yes, I know how crazy that sounds, but it was true. I fingered the delicate fabric with awe and tears formed in my eyes knowing I would actually be a beautiful bride this time. I kept telling myself it didn’t matter, that this was only for legal purposes and I had already found my true wedding dress, but I felt an instant sense of calm once I grasped that I had found the perfect dress. And they had it in my size! Last minute alterations would have been possible given my mother’s status as a master seamstress (I rocked her dresses from elementary school through senior prom), but the added stress might be the end of her.
I called my mother over and showed her the dress. She agreed with me that it was
the
dress. After a quick confirmation in the dressing room of the perfect fit, we shopped for shoes and decided on a pair of delicate silver Mary Janes, my signature shoe, with three inch heels. This brought the hem of the dress just high enough so the skirt wouldn’t brush the floor. After a celebratory tea, we met my father and Louis and headed back to my parents’ house. We only had two and a half days before the wedding and my mother still had a decent to-do list to tackle. Thankfully, Maya was taking the red-eye from California tonight. She was going to hold my mother’s hand from her arrival until the wedding, thereby allowing me some time to attempt to get a grip on my sanity. I knew it was an impossible task, but I would rather spend the short time before the wedding in a spa than dealing with my mother’s last minute tasks. I still had scars from the week before Kate’s wedding...
Maya’s arrival was exactly what my mother and I needed. She kept my mother busy and on task and she kept me on a beauty regimen which would reap amazing results, or so she promised. She had researched every salon and spa within a fifty mile radius of my parents’ house and made appointments for me with three of them for everything from full body massages to seaweed wraps. I had been massaged, exfoliated, waxed, tweezed and scented in every possible way. Maya had somehow succeeded in pulling off the impossible. I felt totally relaxed. I hoped rather than believed I would be able to maintain this feeling of calm through the wedding.
By the time Nick and Kate arrived the day before the wedding, all the final details had been taken care of. The flowers for the ceremony and reception had been selected, the menu for the reception had been finalized and the cake had been ordered. Maya had made appointments for herself, my mom, Kate, Zoe and me with our favorite local salon for the morning of the wedding to have our hair and nails done. Following this, Maya planned to do everyone’s makeup right before the ceremony.