Get It Done When You're Depressed (13 page)

Remain aware of your body when you’re depressed so you can decide what is a real discomfort and what is something you just have to work through.

When I’m depressed, my face feels really funny and itchy. I tend to touch my chin and eyebrows a lot and can’t seem to get comfortable. I work in a library, and sometimes it just makes me want to scream if I have to sit another hour. But I have to. It’s hard enough to be depressed and worry all day about my job and whether I need to go get my library sciences Master’s and whether I’ll be promoted, but adding the physical stuff is painful. On some days, my ribs hurt and I can feel all the bones in my body ache. I twist and turn, the chair feels hard, and I can’t keep my back straight.

When I’m not depressed, I like my job and the quiet. My thoughts are about work, not about how physically uncomfortable I am. On restless days, I try to contract my muscles and get exercise in that way, even though I’m sitting. I can stretch my legs under my desk as well, and I always take the stairs when I can.

I have some days when I’m depressed and my legs hurt. My clothes feel too heavy. Sometimes my hair really bothers my neck, and my face feels funny. I twist my back a lot and feel hyperaware of all the pains in my body. I used to attribute this to something from outside me, such as an allergy or a lack of exercise, but I finally realized that depression simply makes me antsy and uncomfortable. This has a lot to do with anxiety. I often feel that something is pushing me from behind. On the really bad days, I actually feel I’m going to burst out of my skin if I don’t get up and move. I fidget a lot. I used to be a serious hypochondriac because I thought the physical pain I felt was the sign of something really serious. It never was.

Depression can be accompanied by a number of stress-related physical problems, especially tension headaches and constipation. Plus, depression can disrupt sleep, which can lower pain thresholds, which, in turn, can increase pain. Fatigue is a primary depressive symptom and is almost always felt as a source of physical discomfort.

Uncomfortable physical problems caused by depression can go away when the depression is being treated successfully. It’s also important that you move your body, take care of it, and focus on work instead of how you physically feel. If someone has ever said to you, “You sure are antsy,” “You seem to go to the doctor a lot,” or “Careful—you get into a lot of accidents,” listen to these statements and let them be a sign that maybe depression is causing physical problems that need your attention.

Here are some other thoughts to consider:

Remember:
Uncomfortable physical problems and accidents are an unfortunate part of depression. The more aware you are of your body, the safer and more comfortable you can be.

Ah, now I can get up and take a walk!

On some days, the act of sitting down in front of a project can be just what you need to keep going. You can say to yourself,
I’m just going to sit. That’s the first step. I don’t have to do anything more. Then I will move my hands and type, or make a sales call.

When you’re depressed, you can feel like a hand is physically holding you back from sitting down and starting something. It can feel like you’re fighting with an unseen force.
It’s just sitting,
you might say to yourself, but when your brain is misfiring and you’re having trouble making decisions, feel uncomfortable, and want to cry, sitting down is a big accomplishment.

What’s the big deal about sitting down to get something done? Sitting is easy, right? But it’s often more than just sitting. Sitting down in front of a project—whether it be artistic, sales oriented, or working with a child’s homework—can be daunting. It’s often much easier to put off projects until they are so backed up they never get done. But no more! From now on, tell yourself you
will
commit to sitting and go from there. Sitting down when you need to often triggers a work response that helps you get things done.

Are any of these signs you need to sit down familiar to you?

I have actually walked around my office for hours without sitting down for an extended period of time. There is my office chair; I can see it looming at me. In fact, my whole office is a scary space. I tell myself,
Just sit down and get started,
yet I still keep walking around, getting coffee, talking with colleagues, copying stuff I don’t need.

But now I have a rule. When I get to work, the first thing I do is go into my office and sit in my chair for three hours. I have my coffee with me, and I tell people I can chat when my time is up. Once I’ve sat down, the work goes easier and I find it a lot easier to stay seated throughout the day.

I lost years of work because I couldn’t do something as simple as sitting down in a chair in front of a project. I could sit in chairs in restaurants and on airplanes—those chairs that had nothing to do with work—but chairs that represented work were another story.

After I thought about it, I realized that sitting down in a chair isn’t really the problem. The problem must be what the chair represents. I determined that I see the sitting as the first step in a project that my brain has told me I can’t do. That’s why sitting down is so hard.

A depressed person can waste so much time just thinking about having to do something that the time passes and nothing is accomplished. This is where people often get bogged down the most.

Depressed people often have an image of what they need to do, and when they take stock of their currently available energy and motivation, the conclusion is too often,
Why even try?
By sitting down to start a project, though, a person makes the decision to work one step at a time. This is especially true when people break down a big task (
My whole house is a mess
) into smaller chunks (
I can clean off the coffee table
).

So much of this has to do with what psychologist Albert Banbura called “one’s appraisal of self-efficacy.” A person asks,
In my mind, in this moment, how much confidence do I have in being able to cope with the task (or the stressors) currently facing me?
When the conclusion is positive (
I can do this … it isn’t unmanageable
), it often ignites some internal energy and enthusiasm that’s then used to initiate action: sitting down and getting started. And with ongoing task completion, the depressed person receives ongoing feedback (
Yes … I am making headway
), which helps sustain activity.

If you have work that requires sitting, you have to take the first step and
sit
. That might mean sitting at a desk in your house or an office or going to a meeting or getting in a car. But the more you get used to sitting as a first step, the more you can use this small movement to help you get on with your task.

Sitting represents …

Remember:
Sit. Sit. Sit. That’s all you have to do to get started.

When depression takes over your thoughts, your thoughts start to tell you lies. It’s easy to get caught up in these lies because they seem so real.
How can they not be real?
you wonder.
They come from my head. I must think this way, and my thoughts must be true.