Get It Done When You're Depressed (12 page)

I will never let depression take over my life like it did for more than 20 years. I’m in control now, and I remind depression of that all the time. I often see depression like a monster at my door. Sometimes I can make it leave by saying “No, you are not welcome here!” At other times it gets in the door and it’s harder to deal with, but I never stop talking to it. “Leave me alone. You aren’t real. Don’t say those things, because they aren’t true. This isn’t the real me. I will work today. I will not listen to you.” It’s very tiring, and sometimes I have to do this all day, but I’m often able to kick it out the door.

Many people who experience depression have a critical inner voice. Often this is a result of parents who were harsh. The child comes to believe, on a deep level, that he or she is bad, worthless, ashamed, or undeserving of love. These chronic feelings of low self-esteem and worthlessness almost always become intensified during bouts of depression.

Talking back to depression helps you realize that the thoughts you have
are not real
and you can counteract them with your real thoughts. When you learn to recognize the depression thoughts, you can say no to them and move on with your day. And when they keep coming at you, just keep saying no!

Here’s what you can say when depression is being a bully:

Here are some other thoughts to consider:

Remember:
Talking back to depression might seem a bit odd—it’s like talking to the air or to yourself. But who cares, as long as it works?

Have you ever noticed that depression can distort time? It’s really good at making a day seem like a year that will never end. You may look at your watch and think,
Only five more hours until I can get into bed.
On other days, the day might rush by and you realize you’ve done absolutely nothing.

A lot of this has to do with the fact that depression tells you that you can’t complete projects anyway, which makes you not even try to focus on the amount of time you have to get something done.

If you’ve ever seen a chess match, you know that each player’s move is timed. And for good reason. When you have unlimited time to think, you often take as much time as possible to ponder all the possibilities.

But with a depressed brain, that unlimited time could easily stretch to forever. It may take forever—or at least feel like it—to do something. But the depressed brain won’t devote that much time to something and will likely quit well before the “something” ever gets done.

The solution is to set time limits for specific projects. Setting time limits is different from time management. It’s more small scale, like specific project micromanagement. On depressed days, micromanaging your time is not a bad idea. In fact, your brain often responds to the time limits with relief.

Here are some signs you need time limits:

Depression seems to take away your ability to control your time. You can take back that control.

Something really weird happens to time when I’m depressed. It slows down almost to a minute-by-minute feeling. I think,
Three hours until lunch. Six hours until I can go get into bed.
I measure it that exactly. Yet when it comes to school, when I know I have to write a paper by a certain time or get ready for a class, I feel like I don’t have enough time!

On one hand, I feel the time creeping by and that my life is pointless; on the other, I feel rushed and overwhelmed by the short amount of time I have to do my work. This is definitely relativity at work!

I’ve found that the only way to deal with this is have external timers. Friends are my biggest help. They check in on me and say, “It’s been one hour—what have you done?” and then “I’ll be back in two hours.” It calms me down because they take control of my time so I don’t have to.

I think that one of the reasons I never was able to complete the projects I really wanted to finish is because I had no idea how to break them down. I saw time as a big blob. I focused on how long a project would take overall, instead of focusing on the fact that most projects can be broken into sections that can easily be timed.

I once had a business coach tell me to write down all the things I had to do in a day, rank them by importance, and then get very strict with how much time I would spend on each project. I had to think about how long I was allowed to be on e-mail and how long I could make calls. I had to time my lunch and coffee breaks. And I wasn’t allowed to go to the next project until the first one was done. I realized that by limiting my time on each project, I actually had more time.

Time has too many implications in depression. It takes my time, ruins my time, and makes it difficult for me to see the reality of how much time something actually takes. I used to either take too long and miss deadlines or not do something at all. Now I can at least look at my timed list and see what I’ve been doing all day and if I got anything done.

Avoiding situations that can intensify feelings of powerlessness is an ongoing concern for people who are depressed. It’s so common for a depressed person to have unproductive days and then later reflect on the day and conclude that they got nothing done. That reflecting only heightens their feelings of low self-esteem and the perception of being out of control of their lives.

Establishing personal goals and deadlines can be helpful, especially if the tasks are broken down into small, timed chunks that are realistically attainable. Accomplishing smaller tasks during the day and then checking them off the list can be a good reality check. The person can see what they’ve accomplished and have physical proof something got done, which can combat some of their overwhelmed and powerless feelings.

A depressed brain distorts time, and there’s no way it’s going to help you time your work efficiently without some outside help. Having a physical measurement of time can help you complete tasks. For example, the sound of an alarm keeps you in the moment so you can control time more effectively, and deadlines can take away the pressure and help you focus on what you have to do instead of how long it will take.

Here are some other thoughts to consider:

Remember:
Depression has a timeline called forever (often known as never!). You’ll always have to impose your time schedule on your projects when you’re depressed.

It’s very common for your body to feel out of sorts when you’re depressed. Sitting at a desk or in a meeting can feel excruciating when your brain isn’t functioning properly. When a task in front of you requires focus or quiet, it can be hard to keep still and feel grounded enough to finish your work. Restless legs, nervousness, and even back-or headaches can all be a result of depression. These can all significantly affect your ability to do the things you want to do.

Depression is often accompanied by anxiety. Anxiety can manifest as discomfort in your body and can even make you feel like you’re having a heart attack. If not recognized early enough, anxiety can lead to significant discomfort that then makes it nearly impossible for you to focus on what you have to do. Anxiety can feel like you’re going to pop out of your skin, which is why it needs to be recognized and treated along with your depression.

In addition, the brain chemicals that cause depression don’t only affect the brain; they can affect your physical body as well. So when you’re depressed, it’s not only your brain that goes through changes.

It’s important that you’re aware of your body when you’re depressed. Depression makes you feel uncomfortable and can also slow or speed up your reflexes to a point where you can hurt yourself. When you remember that depression is not only a mental illness but a physical illness as well, you can pay attention to what you need to do to keep your body healthy and more comfortable.

Have you experienced any of these physical signs of depression?