Giving In (The Sandy Cove Series Book 1) (36 page)

Asshole Knox grabs her hand again.

“Come on, baby, we need to talk.”

I step closer to him.

“Fuck you, asshole. I need to talk to her.”

He smirks at me and laughs.

“You had your chance with her before you screwed
it all up. Don’t think I don’t know what happened. Princeton’s not
such a big town.”

I charge at him with all the adrenaline I have
in my body. Knox lunges for me as well, but Harlow steps between us
and Max holds my arms back.

“Both of you, stop it now. Chad, go to the boat,
I’ll be there in a minute. I need to deal with this.”

Harlow puts up her hand and points to the
boat.

“Go!” He doesn’t move. Harlow squeezes her eyes
shut tightly and yells, “I said now, Chad!” He walks away
backwards, not looking away from my eyes.

He yells to me, “We’re not done here, Officer.
She knows what she wants, and that’s not you.”

“Fuck you,” I yell back to him.

I try and move a little closer to her, but she
takes a step back when I do.

That’s fine. I’ll tell her all the things I have
to say to her from a short distance.

“Harlow… Turnip.”

She looks away from me. “Don’t call me
that.”

“Harlow, it was a mistake. I made a mistake and
I need to tell you everything. I need to tell you all of it.
Beginning to end. Will you listen?”

She shakes her head from side to side, folding
her arms across her chest. I’m so afraid she’s going to say no.

“Want to know what your only mistake was? Better
yet what mine was? Looking at you from across the bar that night we
first met. Just the little eye contact we shared was the first in a
long line of mistakes I’ve made along the way with you. So when you
say it was a mistake, yea, Cruz it was. From that first night till
now. All of it was a mistake.”

I grab her arm, gently as she begins to walk
away. She whips her body around, her hair spinning like a windmill,
and I look at it knowing how much I’ve missed touching the silky
strands, and all I want to do at this moment is wrap my hands up in
it, but I can’t. I need to slow this, slow myself. I’m in love with
her, and I have to tell her… Now.

A voice comes over my radio that’s attached to
my shoulder.

“Officer Cruz. We have a domestic disturbance at
321 Anchor Lane, and we need back up, do you read me?”

Fuck!

I hold up my finger to her.

“Officer Cruz here. I’ll be there.”

I have to leave. I don’t want to walk away. I’m
afraid if I do, she’ll go to Chad. He’s put her under some trance.
He’ll tell her all kinds of bullshit and my chance will be gone,
but I have to.

“I have to go, but please, I really need to talk
to you. Meet me later around midnight. Please, Harlow?”

Her eyes are so distant, but with mine, I plead
to her. I need her to listen to me and understand why I did what I
did.

“I… I can’t, Cruz. It’s taken me four months to
forget what you said to me, and no matter what you say now, it
doesn’t change the fact that you said them. You can say sorry all
you want, it doesn’t change things.”

The voice comes over the CB again, but I don’t
care.

“What if… What if I told you I loved you? That I
didn’t mean a word of anything I said to you that day.”

She laughs, an uncontrolled vibrating laugh that
goes through me and hurts because I know she doesn’t believe
me.

“Oh, please. You’re incapable of it. You don’t
know the meaning of it. I told you I loved you and you treated it
as though it was just another word in the English language. But it
isn’t, at least to me. You didn’t love me, Cruz. I was the game.
The game you lost, or won, however you want to look at it. When you
love someone you feel it everywhere, you live it, you breathe it.
It’s not something to toy with or take advantage of. But to someone
like you… You wouldn’t understand that concept or even try to.”

I’m losing her. I can feel it. She steps away
with her head held high, looking directly at me. She doesn’t see
it. She doesn’t see how much I love her.

“I gave my whole heart to you, you threw it
back. What am I supposed to do with that knowledge now?” I reach
for her when her words and truth sting me, but she retreats.

“I have to go. Leave me alone.”

She runs away towards the boat where Knox
is.

Mother fucker.

I’m not giving up. Not by a long shot. I’m not
letting her go without a fight.

***

We need all available officers in the area to
report to The Sandy Cove Marina immediately. We have a hospital
case boating accident with multiple injuries, possible fatalities
and coast guard rescue is en route. Do you copy?

“Copy.”

Great. My night will be full of activity so I
don’t have to sit here and think about how I lost the only thing
that matters, or mattered in my life.

Damn it, I should have done so many things
differently.

I turn on my sirens and race over to the marina.
There’s already a slew of police vehicles and several ambulances.
I’m hoping there aren’t any fatalities. Not sure I can handle that
tonight. When I step out of the car I can hear screams. As I get
closer I can see a girl on the ground rocking back and forth and
someone behind her rubbing her shoulders.

Willow!

I run full speed and crash to the ground in
front of her. Porter is behind her consoling her.

“Willow? Porter? You guys ok? What the hell
happened?”

She’s crying so hard, she can’t speak.

“Thea, sit here with her.” Porter releases
Willow’s shoulders and takes my arm to pull me to the side. They
all seem to be ok, no injuries, so why’s everyone so fucking
upset?

“What the hell is wrong with Willow? She know
anyone in that accident?”

He braces my shoulders, crying as he does
so.

“Cruz, there’s… Oh, God, there’s been an
accident.”

“Yea, I got the call, that’s why I’m here. Why
are you all so upset? Is it someone we know?”

“Cruz, look at me. Look. At. Me. It’s Harlow.
She was on Chad Knox’s boat, he was driving and they hit another
boat. She was knocked unconscious and she was in the water for a
long time. She’s wasn’t breathing when they pulled her out.”

“What do you mean she’s not breathing?”

I think what he just said is a dream. I’m so
confused. That can’t be the truth. He’s lying. He’s fucking lying.
I just saw her… It’s not her.

“She can’t swim.” My voice is small when I say
the words, because she can’t, and I’m scared. I tried so many times
to teach her, even going as far as getting her those damn swim
lessons.

“I know, buddy that’s why…” He stops talking to
me and looks over my shoulder.

“There’s Knox.”

I’ll fucking kill that bastard. I run over to
him. He’s sitting on a curb wrapped in a blanket. Police surround
him, and an EMT is listening to his heart. I rush over to Knox,
pushing everyone out of my way. I grab his shirt and tug him
upwards. I shake him not bothering to see if he’s hurt. I don’t
fucking care.

“What did you do, you fucking prick? What did
you do to her? I’ll kill you, Knox. If she doesn’t survive you will
wish you were dead. Do you hear me, damn you?”

I can feel hands on me trying to get me to let
go of him. I want to hit him so bad. Pulverize him. He just stands
there, speechless. The bastard looks fine. Why the hell were they
even out on the water anyway? She hates the water, she’s terrified
of it. How could she agree to it?

All I hear him say is, “I’m sorry. I’m so
sorry.”

If I had my way, they would be the last words
Chad Knox would ever speak.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see the EMTs pull
Harlow onto a gurney, and I fly over to where they are. I run
through the mass of people surrounding the marina and all I know is
I have to get to her. I have to see if she’s ok.

“Harlow, Harlow!” I’m screaming her name, but I
don’t hear myself. “Harlow, baby!”

She’s blue, and there’s a deep laceration to her
head.

I hear someone tell me to get back, but I pay no
attention.

“That’s my girlfriend, damn it! What happened?
Why… why isn’t she breathing?” No one is answering me.

“Harlow, baby, can you hear me? Please wake up,
baby, and look at me. I’m here. You’re going to be ok.” I touch her
hand, but that’s all they will let me touch before they try and
pull me away again.

“Sir, we have to get her to the trauma unit. She
was in the water for a while before the coast guard got to her. We
need to help her now. Please step aside and let us do our jobs.” I
look to the EMT, and if he thinks I’m leaving her side, he’s nuts.
Swiping at my face, the tears flow faster than I can wipe them
away. I grab her hand again and tell them I’m going with them. I
see Porter stand by holding Willow and Thea. I yell out to him that
I’m going in the ambulance.

“We’ll be right behind you.” I think I hear him
say.

They put Harlow in the back and I follow.

On the drive I hear words that scare me.

Coding.

Unresponsive.

Intubate.

They put some electrical thing on her chest and
her body jumps, and I cry harder. I haven’t cried since I was… I
can’t even remember. This is the love of my life here, and I’m so
afraid of losing her… Again. There’s no color to her face, they
stick a tube down her throat, her beautiful hair, now blood-soaked.
All I can do is sit here and watch them try to bring her back to
life. They stick her with needles, lift the lids of her eyes and
shine lights in them. They poke and prod and speak a language I
don’t understand. We’re moving so fast it’s like we are in some
kind of high powered death trap. Every bump, every pothole we hit
on the road, I feel. My body bouncing upwards in my seat. They
won’t let me hold her hand. They won’t let me near her. I can’t
help her. For once, I can’t help her.

***

I have my routine down pat. I sleep in this
chair next to her bed. Bella and Tony bring me new clothes every
few days. I shower at ten a.m. when the Physical Therapist comes in
to do exercises with her. I finish and step outside for a brief few
minutes just so I can get fresh air. I don’t stay away too long.
What if she wakes up and I’m not there.

At noon, the nurses bring me lunch, but I never
eat it. Max and Porter will bring me in a sandwich from my favorite
deli when they come to visit. At one, the nurses come in and bathe
her. After they are done they leave the hair brushing to me.

That’s my job.

I usually spend upwards to a half hour doing it.
It relaxes me. The feeling of her hair in my hands.

I usually doze off from two to two
forty-five.

The residents usually come in to assess her, and
I wake up and it’s my cue to go into the hall.

Around four, I log on to my online class and do
a bit of homework. I lost my job on the force because I refuse to
leave here, but it’s ok. I have plenty in savings and they told me
I’ll always have a rent-a-cop job here when I’m ready. I gave up my
apartment. My stuff is at Bella and Tony’s for now.

The words ‘visiting hours’ don’t exist in my
world. This is my home until she goes home.

Harlow’s mom sleeps at the house she and her dad
rented in Sandy Cove since the accident. Other than that, she’s
here sitting with me beside Harlow from sun up to sun down. Her dad
is here almost as much. Craw is here every day. He decided to take
a leave of absence from his final semester and temporarily moved
down here. He started talking to me again once I told him
everything. The information I gave him was after he threw a couple
of punches at me, and I let him. I let him curse me out, spew
hateful words to me, which I deserved. Her parents never questioned
why I did what I did. They understood. They were there once. I’ll
tell you one thing though, I’d hate to be Evelyn Hannum because
after Joe and Annabeth confronted her about what she did and said
to me, she is no longer in their lives. That’s including Greta’s
too. Speaking of Greta, she’s almost six months pregnant and isn’t
having a great pregnancy, so she and her husband will only take the
drive once a week to see her. What’s to see though…

She began breathing on her own after about a
week and that awful tube was ejected from her throat. Now there’s a
thin, white tube that goes into her nose and down her throat. That
gives her the nourishment she needs. All those tubes she was
attached to looked like something out of a Sci-Fi movie. You could
hardly see her beautiful face. The bandage has come off her head,
and the stitches have been removed. The wound is healing nicely, or
at least that’s what they tell me. She shows all signs of brain
activity, which is miraculous. Her legs… That’s a different story.
They were a bit mangled. We won’t know any more until she wakes up,
but to their knowledge there is no spinal cord injury.

I’m not a praying man. I’ve never had a lot to
pray for in my life, but with Harlow, praying and hoping is all I
have.

At six, I try to eat a little something, but
again, I never do. Food is the last thing on my mind. My stomach is
in a constant state of churning. My mind, it’s in a constant state
of denial.

Denial that this has all happened. Sometimes
when I fall asleep in the chair next to her bed, I dream about her
laughing, dancing, being carefree. In my dreams, her
strawberry-colored hair twirls around her as she spins at the
water’s edge. She calls my name and holds out her hand for me to
join her. She wraps her arms around my neck and whispers to me how
happy she is and how her love for me has changed her, how my love
for her has changed her.