Glam Metal (24 page)

He stopped off at the liquor store on his way back to his house; he bought four bottles of bourbon and drove home.

He locked the door, went to his den and turned on the TV. He placed the bottles on the table. Rushing upstairs to his room he took a mirror off the sink and as he was about to leave, he caught a glimpse of the photo of him and Sam. It was in much happier times. Fuck it, fuck her and fuck all of them. He went downstairs to his den.

He changed the channel to a music channel; put the mirror on the table and took out the two little bags from his pocket. He opened it carefully, shook the white powder onto the mirror, and then he took his credit card from his wallet and cut the powder into perfect lines. Taking a hundred dollar bill from his wallet, he rolled it up and bent his head over the mirror and snorted it. When the four lines were gone Jay took a bottle of bourbon and sat back on the sofa, opened it and took a long swig from the bottle. Then it hit, he wanted to vomit. He took another drink from the bottle and with very unsteady legs he went to the bathroom. He barely made it, he spewed all over the floor and walls, seconds later and he was high. Jay was soaring. His body hurt but it was a good kind of hurt. It was the kind of hurt that took away the pain of living.

He went back to his den and saw himself on the TV and laughed as he raised the bottle in a toasting gesture to his other self, his music self on the TV.

Damn it was good to be back! He was a god, a rock star god! He took another swig from the bottle, this was so fucking good. He reached for the phone he would call Amber, the groupie that came to the studio a few days ago. He would have a private session. But as he dialed the number, his brain did another somersault and he fell off the sofa onto the floor unconscious.

************

Sam went for a walk along the shingle beach close to her parents’ holiday home. It was cold but she didn’t seem to mind it. It kept her mind off things. It had been a month since she got out of the hospital and came to France. She still hadn
’
t heard from Jay. She had tried to call him several times but there was no answer and she didn’t want to leave a message on his answer machine. She would try again tonight.                                                                                                                                                     But she knew that when they were recording it could take the whole day at the studio just to do a song. And Jay was such a perfectionist. She thought fondly. He would make a great dad. She couldn’t wait to see the look on his face when she told him she was almost four months pregnant. Sam had it all planned. She would cook a special meal and she would pamper him for a change.

She was still getting cramps in her stomach but it seemed to be lessening.
You
’
re just like your dad
she thought to herself as she caressed her stomach lovingly.

****

Lisa was finishing her lunch when her cell phone rang. It was Nick. A smile spread across her face.

“Hello, what a pleasant surprise.” She said. There was a pause. “What’
s up?” they spoke for a few moments then Nick said suddenly.

“Lisa, where
’
s Sam, is she with you?” Lisa said no, that she had taken a few weeks off at her parents place. Then she asked:

“Is everything OK, Nicky?” There was another pause.

“Jay has gone off the rails because of that bitch.” There was silence.

“What do you mean Nick?” He told her everything. Lisa went white as a sheet. Lisa couldn’t
believe it. She knew Sam and she knew how Sam felt about Jay. There was no way she
’
d ever do that to him.

“Nick, are you sure?” He told her that Dan had phoned Jay from Sam’
s cell phone and told him everything. “No, you must be mistaken, she loves Jay.” But even as she said it, she wasn
’
t so sure. Sam had hoped that she and Dan would get back together but that was before Jay came on the scene.

“Li, whatever you do, don’
t tell her I
’
ve called. Jay needs to get through this somehow without going back on coke. If he does it
’
ll kill him. Promise me you won
’
t say a word to her?” She promised she wouldn’t. As she hung up, she just couldn’t believe how Sam could do that to Jay. He was a sweet guy and totally crazy about her.

Lisa decided that she would move out of Sam
’
s place. If that was how she treated people, then she didn’t want anything to do with her.

Lisa
’
s phone rang. It was Sam. Lisa hit the busy button. She was too angry with her for screwing around on Jay. Right now she would probably say something she would regret.

Sam stared at the phone, Li
’
s phone did ring and then it was like she had hung up before she even answered.

As she sipped her tea, Sam decided that she would try one last time to call Jay. She dialed his cell phone number and it took a few moments before it crackled into life and rang. On the third ring Sam heard Jay
’
s voice.

“Yeah!” He sounded so far away but so good. A tear ran down her cheek.

“Jay, god it’
s good to hear you.” There was a long pause. Then he said.

“Sam didn’t
expect to hear from you.” He said coldly. “How are you?” Surely she was mistaken. He just sounded tired.

“I’
ve missed you so much Jay.” She said. There was something different about him. “Babe you ok?” She asked softly.

“Look Sam, there’
s no easy way to say it.” He sighed. “We
’
re finished. You were a bit of ass, nothing more.” The phone went dead. Sam still had the phone to her ear as the tears flowed freely down her face. Did she just imagine what she had heard? Did Jay really say they were finished? Surely she misheard. He loved her as much as she loved him. She was going to have his baby.

She let the phone fall and covered her face with her hands and sobbed uncontrollably. In such a short time her life had completely fallen apart. This can
’
t be happening. This surely can
’
t be happening? It just can
’
t…

As the dawn light filtered through the window, Sam was still crying. As she drew her legs under her chin she shivered and felt butterflies in her stomach. This was a horrible nightmare and any moment now she would wake up and Jay would come into the room with coffee and croissants and kiss the tip of her nose like he did and she would run her fingers through his long dark hair and gaze into his blue eyes and he would kiss her.

But it wasn
’
t a nightmare, it was real and Jay had told her coldly and heartlessly last night that they were finished and he never loved her.
She was just a piece of ass.
Tears welled up in her eyes again as she recalled the heartless and cruel words he used.

Sam stood up and went to the bathroom; she turned on the tap and splashed cold water on her face. Her tears were mixing with the coldness of the tap water.

She grabbed the towel and patted her face and glanced at her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes were red and bloodshot from crying and lack of sleep.

Suddenly she felt more butterflies in her stomach. Her hand went over it; while not quite flat, she still did not have the telltale sign of pregnancy.

“It’
s just you and me now, Hon.” She said looking at her stomach. “One day, your daddy is going to see you and love you as I do. Don
’
t blame him, baby, your daddy is famous and has a lot to deal with right now,” the tears were streaming down her face again. “But he will be a great dad when he knows you.” Sam looked back at her reflection. Jay had broken her heart but she loved him and he had given her something so precious; their baby.

*******************************

A week later and Sam closed the door to her apartment. The mail was left neatly on the table. She heard Lisa in the bedroom, as she came into the lounge, there was a look of surprise on Lisa
’
s face as she saw Sam at the kitchen table.

“I didn’t
know you were back.” Lisa said hesitantly. “I was hoping to be fully moved out before you got back.” Sam looked at her questioningly.

“Why, you know you can stay as long as you want.” Sam said. Lisa went into the kitchen and made some coffee. This was awkward as anything. They were friends yet, Sam was capable of being such a bitch. She came back with a mug and handed it to her.

“It’
s best if I leave. I don
’
t think I could stay here with such a dishonest person.” Her words were like a slap across the face. What was happening?

“Li, what’
s wrong? What have I done to you?” Sam asked, tears beginning to well up in her eyes. Surely this couldn’t be happening, first she lost Jay, the man she adored and now her best friend all in the space of a week. This can
’
t be.

Lisa looked at her and blurted out what Nick had said.

“How could you Sam, he’
s a great guy. But you know what, he deserves better than the likes of you.” Lisa grabbed her case and as she opened the door she turned to Sam and said cruelly.

“You and Dan deserve each other.” She banged the door behind her. And Sam was alone in her apartment.

Despite Lisa
’
s crazy mixed up words, Sam was deeply concerned for Jay. It was the thought that he may be back doing coke that disturbed her most. That day on the boat after they had first met, he had told her about how badly addicted to it he was. How he battled to overcome it and that he had been clean for five years. She prayed he was alright and that he wouldn’t be foolish enough to go back on it. Sam knew if he did, it would kill him.
Oh dear god Jay, don
’
t do it.
She cried to herself.

Sam went to have a shower and change her clothes. She was exhausted. As the warm water caressed her skin, she closed her eyes and Jay
’
s smiling handsome face flashed before her. She fought hard to stop the tears from escaping.

“Oh Jay, I love you so much,” she whispered to herself in the shower.