Glam Metal (27 page)

“Darlin, sorry if I was angry. You know, it’
s not with you?” She nodded and gave him a kiss on the mouth and smiled and said:

“Jay, ease off the booze for your sake, Hon!” He patted Nick on the back and went to the departure gate. A quick wave and he was gone.

**********

Sam finished unpacking, lit the candles and sat down on the leather sofa. She was lucky to find this little gem. She would begin decorating the nursery. She didn
’
t know what colours to choose but she would buy some things at the weekend. As it was, she had plenty of time yet. Her phone rang. Lately she had taken to let the phone ring but tonight she felt happy.

“Hello,” she answered cheerfully. It was Damon.

“Good to hear you sound so happy.” He said. Sam laughed. It was the first time in months that she had laughed. “Sam, I’
m calling to invite you to a small dinner party I
’
m having on Thursday evening. I
’
d like you to meet a man I
’
ve been seeing for a while.” She thought for a moment. It had been so long since she had been out anywhere. But a dinner party meant couples and she would be on her own. As if sensing her thoughts Damon said. “You won
’
t be the only singleton there.” She laughed and agreed.

She was almost seven months pregnant and she didn
’
t look it. Her bump was tiny but the doctors didn
’
t seem unduly concerned, so neither was she.

On Thursday evening, she showered and changed into a lovely black shift dress. It hid her small bump but she looked stunning. She left her hair loose and applied just a little foundation and lipstick. As she looked at her reflection in the mirror, she said out loud.

“What a yummy mummy, you have baby!” She smiled but her eyes still reflected the pain in her heart. She was coping and getting on with everyday life. She was keeping very busy during the week at the gallery and on weekends she was decorating the house and doing the garden. She had lunched with Barbara a few weeks ago but that was the extent of her socializing.

When she arrived at Damon
’
s there were only two cars in the drive. Sam hoped that there wouldn
’
t be many there as she didn
’
t feel up to too much company.

She rang the bell and turned her back to the door and looked down onto the lawn. For some reason, she was reminded of Jay
’
s garden in LA.

The door swung open and as she turned around she was face to face with Jay. She looked into his eyes then he moved aside to let her in. She nervously smiled and said thanks. Sam went into the dining room and handed Damon the bottle of wine she had brought. As he introduced her to his new friend, Nick and Lisa walked into the dining room. Nick
’
s expression said it all but it was Jay who stepped in front of him and barred his way from going over to Sam and saying anything to her.

They were seated at the table and Sam sat across from Jay. She kept her eyes lowered. She couldn’t bear to look at him. He looked so good. He
’
d cut his hair and it suited him, made him look younger and very sophisticated. He was wearing a white jacket, black tee shirt and black jeans. She wanted so desperately to touch him but she knew she couldn’t.

Nick and Lisa ignored her and were deep in conversation. Every now and again they asked Jay a question and included everyone except her.

Ben, Damon
’
s new boyfriend turned to Sam and asked:

“You’
re in the art business, then Sam,” she could feel Jay
’
s eyes on her.

“Ye…yes,” she stammered. She looked over at him but he was talking to Damon. “I work in a…a gallery in the city.” They spoke for a few minutes. Then she put her napkin on the table and excused herself.

She pushed back her chair, all the time she could feel Jay looking at her. Did he know she was still pregnant? She hoped that the baby wouldn
’
t pick this moment to make its presence known in the room.

Sam made it to Damon
’
s bathroom and locked the door behind her. The tears flowed freely down her cheeks. It had been a long time since she had seen Jay in person, she remembered in every painful detail how good he looked. How handsome he was. And now here he was sitting across the table from her and he ignored her like she was invisible.

Sam took a deep breath and carefully dabbed her eyes. She would make some excuse to Damon and Ben and she would leave after the coffee had been served. She reapplied lipstick, forced herself to smile and opened the door. She almost fell into Jay
’
s arms.

“Sorry!” She said meekly. He didn’
t answer. He looked her up and down. She looked fantastic. She hadn
’
t quite got her figure back but she looked great. He asked:

“How have you been?” She tried to smile but a lump came in her throat. And she didn’
t trust her voice.

“OK and you?” She managed. Inside she wanted to put her arms around him and tell him she loved him.

“Great, we’
ve been very busy, new tour starting in a few months.” He was forcing himself to be polite, Sam knew that. He always was a gentleman. She ached for him. “You look great, Sam.” It was at that moment she felt the kick; almost as if recognizing its father
’
s voice the baby began to kick like crazy. Sam wondered if he could see. She studied his face but his expression didn
’
t change.

“I’
d better get back. Jay...” she said. He looked at her and for the first time she thought she saw his expression soften. “Good luck, with the tour.” Sam felt another kick as she turned and went across the hall to the dining room.

Only Lisa and Nick were there. They looked up as she came in. Sam looked at them both and said:

“It’
s ok, I
’
m going.” Nick stood up and hissed at her.

“Don’
t fuckin mess his head up with your shit.” He sat back down as Jay came in. Sam turned around. He went over to his seat and sat down. As she was about to leave Damon came in with a coffee pot.

“Damon, thank you for a lovely meal, I’
m...” She broke off and feeling all eyes on her she said. “I have to be going.” She almost ran from the room, out onto the drive and into her car.

Inside she bent her head over the steering wheel and cried. There was a tap on the window. Sam looked up. It was Jay.

“Are you OK?” There was concern in his voice. Sam looked back at the door of the house; she could make out Damon’
s silhouette at the doorway as he closed it. She took a deep breath.

“Yes, I’
m fine thanks.” She looked up into his face. She thought she was over him but seeing him tonight, Sam knew she was still very much in love with him. But the look in his eyes reflected only hatred toward her.

“Sam, are you…are you-” He broke off. Stood up straight and turned away. She wanted to reach out and touch him. “Are you ok to drive? It’
s a long way back to the city.” He said.

“I don’
t live in the city now; I have a house a few miles from here.” She whispered.

“OK then, take care.” Jay turned and walked back in the direction of the house. Sam stared after him. It was never meant to be like this. She cried inside,
I love you!
But he would never hear those words from her again. She was falling apart.

Sam started the car and drove out the driveway in the direction of the sea, leaving Jay on the steps looking after her. He went inside.

Nick and Lisa went upstairs and Ben poured Jay a glass of bourbon, which he gratefully accepted much to the displeasure of Damon.

“Did you talk with Sam?” He asked as he sat down on the sofa in front of the fire. Jay took a sip of the bourbon.

“Beautiful woman that Sam.” Ben said. “When is her baby due?” Ben took Damon’
s hand. Jay looked at him and said:

“Ben you’
re lucky, you
’
re a fag man. That woman is a user and she had her kid some months ago.” He downed the last of his drink.

“Oh no, you’
re mistaken mate. I
’
m a doctor and I know a pregnant woman when I see one. She was getting kicked like crazy all evening.” He turned to Damon and said. “Very underweight though I would have concerns for the health of both of them.” Jay took his seat again and said sarcastically.

“Ben old sport our Sam likes it rough, if you’
re so concerned for the bitch, why not give her a good fuck and a good meal then!” Ben stared at him.

“That’
s uncalled for. You rockers are so vulgar.” Ben turned to Damon and said. “See you upstairs love,” and left the room.

When he was gone, Damon said:

“Did you talk to her, Jay?” He looked at his friend.

“Damon, what the fuck would you know about women?” Jay said. “You never got laid by a fucking woman so don’
t go there man!” He put down the glass and buried his head in his hands. “She
’
s gone home to that fucking guy and their kid. I wanted to marry her man, the bitch fucking played me.” Damon patted him on the back. “She looks so innocent. Man she
’
s the worst kind.” He stood up and walked over to the bourbon bottle and picked it up.

“There’
s a song right there man, right there!”

“Jay, I want you to put back the bottle and listen.” Damon said angrily. “Here’
s Sam
’
s address. Go see her and talk to her.” He handed Jay a piece of paper. He took it and said:

“Fuckin bitch can burn!” He left the bottle on the table and went upstairs.

Sam turned on the lights beside the big old leather sofa; it was cold outside but not as cold as her heart felt. She cried all the way back in her car. She felt cramps in her stomach, and just said softly.