Glam Metal (31 page)

“Yeah, I talked to him….He’
s agreed to go to rehab…This afternoon. We
’
ll cancel five dates. OK…I
’
ll handle the press oh and Nick….support him he
’
s been through hell.” She hung up. Sitting on her desk, she opened her cigarette case and took out a little bag and fixed herself a line. She snorted. It was good!

Jay was in the parking lot getting into his car when he saw Lenny, his old dealer. He always had good shit. As he was about to call him, his phone rang. Damn! Jay swore. What he wanted to do was ignore it but it might be Sam.

“Yeah,” he said as he got into the Porsche. It was Nick.

“Come on over then, be about half an hour!” He rang off. When Jay looked around, Lenny was gone.

He started the engine and tore off out of the garage. As he pulled out onto the street, he saw two cop cars and a bunch of cops with Lenny bent over the hood of the cruiser. That was when Jay realized that he had had a narrow escape. That was when he decided that he was definitely going to stop using.

He drove out of the city, out onto PCH1 and headed for his house. When he got home he would phone Sam.

The morning was brighter than usual, it was frosty outside. The trees glistened like crystals in the winter morning. In the distance, the sound of the waves beating against the rocks could be heard from inside the kitchen window. It was melodic, soothing.

Sam washed her cup. She stood by the sink looking out the window. In the time that she had been in this house, she had been happy. She would be sad to leave it but only because it was the home she was going to have with the baby and her. But she was looking forward to being with Jay, and being a family.

She hadn
’
t been able to call him for the past five weeks as he had gone into rehab and he wasn
’
t allowed contact with the outside world. She didn
’
t know just how addicted he had been before but she had an idea it was pretty bad. Damon had told her he was in rehab for six months. He had a fiendish addiction to narcotics of every kind. He OD
’
d on the tour bus as they were going to the airport. It took several attempts to revive him and after that Nick and Tammy forced him into rehab. It had nearly killed him. But before he went back to LA, he assured Sam that he wasn
’
t addicted like before. He only needed to get support from the doctors and the trained councilors to get him over it.

Damon told her the whole story of how it had nearly torn the band apart. Nick was coping with his own addiction to alcohol and speed and Pete was messing with crystal Metz. They had gone through a pretty bad time but it was when Jay OD
’
d that it shocked the rest of them into cleaning up their lives.

He had seen him about two days before it had happened and he was completely strung out. Jay had been partying hard and had been drinking constantly for two days. Damon couldn’t make sense of anything he had been saying.

They had done several concerts in the space of a week and it was obvious that they were exhausted but they had to finish the tour and get back into the studio to record the next album.

“Management ran them dry and worked them hard. They each had their own way of coping. Jay’
s way was drink and drugs. He was shooting up five times a day”. Sam was shocked. She had no idea how bad an addict he had been.

Now, he had turned back to coke and it had been because of what Dan had said to him. She had asked Damon, if he was anything near like he was the first time.

“No Sam,” he reassured her. “But he can slip back at anytime. It’
s important he
’
s not around anyone doing it.”

The sound of the phone brought her back to the present. She dried her hands and picked up the receiver.

“Hello,” she was hoping it was Jay but she knew he’
d be another week or so.

“Sam!” It was Lisa. They hadn’
t spoken since she moved out of Sam
’
s apartment. She had hurt Sam when she took Nick
’
s side against her and didn
’
t bother to find out if it were true.

“Lisa, what can I do for you?” Sam desperately missed her friend. She missed chatting with her. The laughs and the fun times they had shared.

“Sam, can I come over?” She asked and for the first time since Sam had known her, she sounded unsure of herself.

“Of course you can….I’
ll make the coffee.” Sam was smiling. She promised Jay, she would rest and get someone in to keep her company. He even hired a private nurse to stay with her.

Half an hour later Lisa knocked on the door. Sam opened it and smiled as she let her in. Lisa sat down on the sofa and nervously looked around. Sam handed her a cup of boiling coffee and took her own and sat at the opposite end of the sofa. For a moment they didn
’
t say anything. Then as if to break the silence Lisa said:

“You’
re looking better, Sam.” She automatically put her hand over her somewhat bigger but still smallish stomach. 

“Yes, been a bit more stable these last few weeks. Jay has hired in a nurse to take care of me.” Thinking of him still sent shivers down her spine.

“Oh god, I have been such a bitch to you Sam, can you forgive me?” Lisa broke down and wept.

“Oh, Li,” Sam moved closer to her and hugged her. “I understand why.” Sam knew Lisa liked Jay and she hated Dan.

“But Sam, I believed what Dan had told Jay.” She cried. “You needed me and I deserted you and my baby nephew or niece.” Sam smiled. They used to be so close, like sisters.

“It’
s ok. Everything is ok now. Promise me Lisa.” Sam said. “Promise me, we will never let a man come between us again?” She nodded and hugged Sam.

“I promise.” And for the briefest of moments, she wondered if she could have come round and made up with Sam, had Jay responded to the pass she made that morning in Damon’s house. She put it to the back of her mind. Lisa knew Jay had certainly buried it. His rejection of her was very upfront. He wasn’
t interested.

They talked and Lisa made more coffee. Sam was asking her about Nick, if she were still seeing him.

“Funny thing is, Sam. I had it all with Des, a beautiful house, a secure marriage. And I threw it away to become Nick’
s groupie!” She sounded bitter. Sam looked at her. “Oh sure, he has put me up in a fantastic penthouse in Chelsea, bought me a beautiful car and gives me all the money I need.” She sat down and put her cup on the coffee table. Sam touched her arm gently. “I have feelings for him, yet I know he
’
s screwing around on tour and even when he
’
s not on tour. But I want him to be just with me. I know I
’
m being selfish.” She was doing a good job holding back the tears.

“Oh, Lisa, you deserve better. But you knew Nick was like that?” Lisa laughed and looked over at the photo of Sam and Jay. He had his arms wrapped around her and was smiling lovingly at her, they looked so much in love.

“I just thought, well, Jay had a worse reputation, drink, drugs and strippers. Look how he changed.” She picked up the cup and sipped its contents, which by now had gone cold. “I want to feel loved.  Not just a sex object or a groupie, I’
m not even a mistress!” For the first time in just over a year, Sam saw the real Lisa, the teenage girl with the braces on her teeth, looking for the rock star fantasy lifestyle.

“Jay was always different from Nick. He has a heart; he has feelings, whereas Nick cares only about Nick.” Sam said gently. “Lisa, you deserve better than that. You need to become independent again.” She covered her hand and gently smiled. “You’
re beautiful, Li, you could have anyone you wanted.” She giggled and thought to herself.
I couldn’t have Jay!
But shook her head and said sarcastically.

“To the original bastard species,” and they clunked their cups together.

They talked until early afternoon. Then Lisa looked at her watch and stood up to get her coat. She put on the beautiful fur coat and said:

“A Nick present might as well enjoy the gifts!” She laughed but Sam could detect the bitterness in her voice. As Sam got up from the seat, she felt herself all wet, her trousers were saturated. An excruciating pain enveloped her. She grabbed on to the back of the sofa. Lisa looked at her; she had turned a deathly white.

“Sam, what is it?” She went over to her and put her arm around her and helped her back to the sofa.

“Call the doctor; I think I’
m going into labour!” 

There was another contraction; it was too soon, she was only at thirty one weeks and Jay was still in rehab. She would be alone. Panic filled her. She was so afraid.

Lisa managed to get her into the car and drive to the hospital. Inside the A&E Dr Mallon, took over and brought her to the maternity wing. She examined Sam internally and told one of the nurses to prepare the operating theatre. Sam
’
s eyes were filled with terror. She was unsure of what was going on.

“It’
s ok, Sam, do you want me to call your fiancé?” A tear escaped her.

“Jay is in LA.” Lisa came into the room and said:

“I want to be there for her.” Dr. Mallon looked at her and said:

“OK, suit up!” she left to get changed.

A few minutes later, Sam was wheeled into the operating room. It was cold and very clinical. Machines were everywhere. Then she saw it; the incubator that would be used to keep her baby alive. She began to sob. She whispered:

“Oh, Jay, I need you now!” She was given a sedative then the epidural was put in place and ten minutes later, she heard a weak whimper. She tried to move but couldn’
t feel anything. The pediatrician whisked the tiny limp body away to the ICU. Sam held out her hand but he disappeared out of the theatre.

Dr. Mallon asked Lisa to leave. With panic in her eyes Sam reached out to her but she was ushered out of the room. Sam was given a general anesthetic and suddenly the room swirled and she was gone.

****

Lisa called Nick. His phone rang and when he answered it she heard a girl giggling. She raised her eyes to the heavens.
He was such a pig.

“Hey sweetie, what’
s up?” he said in a breezy voice. Lisa took a deep breath.