Authors: Anna Daly-McCabe
“Jay!” Sam called after him. The nurse went back to the door and looked after him.
“Was that GM Jay?” She asked. Sam nodded. The young nurse gasped and asked. “You’
re dating him?” She smiled. “He is hot, hot, hot!”
****
Nick was sitting on the garden bench when Jay drove up the driveway. He slammed the door of the car and glanced over at his band mate.
“Jay, dude. She gonna be ok?” He came over to Jay and they embraced.
“Kid’
s mine, man!” Nick nodded.
They embraced again. “The fucking guy nearly killed her bro.” Jay
’
s hand went up to his forehead; a sign that Nick recognized only too well from the early years with the band. It was a sign that he was on his way to getting strung out.
“What you gonna do, GM?” He was concerned now. As far as he knew he had done a few lines of coke and he hadn’
t done it in recent weeks and now it was only booze. But Nick knew Jay. He, too, got strung out with him a few times.
“I’
m going to find him and I
’
m going to kill him!” He went to go inside but Nick grabbed his arms and said:
“Man, get a grip on yourself. We’
re going on tour in a few weeks. Leave it.” Jay glared at him.
Was he serious?
Did he honestly think he could leave her now?
“Nick, get a new guitarist!” He said as he went up the steps. Nick shouted after him.
“Never! You’
re the best dude!” They both laughed and Jay waved back at him and went inside.
Jay opened the door to Sam
’
s house and turned on a light. He made her lie down on the sofa and went to make her some decaf tea. He looked out of the window down to the garden and the sea. He smiled. She always told him that she wanted to live near the sea.
The kettle whistled and he poured the boiling water into the two mugs. He brought them into the lounge and handed her one. She took it from him, he was very attentive.
“It’
s good. Thanks.” He watched her intently as she sipped the scalding liquid. He had missed her terribly.
“Have you bought this place babe?” He asked her suddenly. She looked at him. The twinkle was back in his eyes.
“No, I’
m renting. I didn
’
t want to stay in the city.” She said; and to herself,
too many ghosts of happier times with you.
He smiled.
“What happens now, Darlin?” He asked, as he studied her. She looked away. This was a question that she knew would come up sometime but she wanted to avoid it even though Jay had been attentive and caring. He had
kissed her, but not the way he used to and he only held her hand, he didn
’
t put his arms around her. Nor did he tell her they were back together.
“What do you mean?” She asked trying to buy time. He laughed.
“You’
re good, I
’
ll give you that!” He said. “Us Sam! What happens with us now?” She could feel the tears building again. Sam loved him, she wanted him back but she was afraid that if she said that, it might frighten him away. Since she spoke to him on the phone the night he ended their relationship, she had been torn apart and now she was nervous that he was about to do it again.
“I….I...We...” She could hardly see through the tears that had built up again. Her hand began to shake but he was by her side in an instant and took the cup from her.
“What is it babe?” He held her hand. She was shaking. “Tell me what’
s wrong.”
“I…I can’
t….I” She put her hand up to her eyes. “I can
’
t stop loving you.” Jay brushed the hair off her face, she lowered her eyes. She hated that she was feeling like this and that she was a nervous wreck.
Cupping her face in his hand, he kissed her gently on the mouth his tongue searching for hers. He pulled her into his arms and held her close as their kiss deepened. He could feel himself go hard. But he couldn’t make love to her, much as he wanted to.
When he finally pulled away, he tipped the end of her nose with his finger. She giggled.
“I guess, what I want to know is.” He held her close to him. “After the way I behaved over the last few months, Darlin, will you take me back?” A tear escaped down her cheek, he wiped it away with his thumb.
“Oh god Jay,” she kissed him again on the mouth “Yes, yes. Of course I will.” Her arms went around his neck and she pulled him closer to her but her tiny bump got in the way. He laughed and said fondly.
“You’
ll have to lose some weight, sweetie!” She laughed. “I love you so much Sam.” He took her hand and held it to his mouth.
“Darlin, I’
ve done some stupid things since we
’
ve been apart.” She looked at him. She wondered if he was going to tell her he had been with other women. She guessed he had but they were apart so did it really matter? “Sam, I
’
ve been doin coke, not much but enough to make it into a problem again.” He looked into her eyes. Right now he needed her to understand that he did his last line, now he was going to be a dad.
“Jay oh god why?” He stood up and went to the fireplace. He put one foot on the hearth and rested his arm on the mantle.
“Darlin, it dulled the pain of livin. I wanted to die”. His hand went up to his forehead. He was craving a hit now. His mouth was dry and he needed it badly.
He turned around as he felt her arms go around him.
“Jay, I am so sorry, I’
ve done this to you.” He bent his head slightly to kiss her. She tasted so damn good.
“Babe, I had to tell you this.” He kissed her again. “I have to go back to LA; I have to go to rehab.” He was craving a hit more now, just talking about it. He had a few lines back at Damon’
s. He tried to put it out of his mind. “Darlin, will you come back with me?” He asked as he kissed her. “Come home with me Sam, I
’
ll get you the best damn care I can in LA.” She looked into his eyes. He was trembling now. She had never seen him like this.
“Are you ok, Jay?” He pulled her into his arms. He would kick this again, he did it before and he would do it now for his family.
“Yes, babe, it’
ll pass.” He laughed and then put his hand over her stomach. “My beautiful Sam.” He loved her so much. As she put her arms around him and kissed him passionately, he felt himself go hard again, she pressed her breasts close to his chest. Sam giggled. “Darlin, it
’
s not funny. I haven
’
t had sex since Crete.” He had just made her so happy. He had been faithful even when they were separated. He lifted her up in his arms and carried her to the bedroom. He gently put her down on the bed and lay down beside her, he didn
’
t stop kissing her.
“I love you, Samantha Wentworth.” She giggled and said.
“I love you, GM Jay.” He laughed and said:
“When I marry you it will be James Farenburg.” She looked at him. “My real name but a true fan would know that.” He teased.
*************
Jay was waiting at Tammy
’
s office, she was on a call. He was getting a little agitated. He stood up and went over to the window; he always loved the view from this room. The door opened and Tammy came out smiling.
“Jay my love! Sorry for keeping you waiting.” She greeted him with a hug. Of all the guys in Glam Metal, she liked Jay the most. He was sincere but he also was unpredictable and he could be a hothead. Nick and Pete had warned her that he was slightly off the rails and back doing coke. They wanted her to get him to sort himself out or fire him.
“How’
s my favourite girl?” He was a charmer; Tammy laughed.
“Jay, you know why I asked you to come in.” He sat down on the chair and crossed one leg over the other and leaned back. If she wasn’
t a lesbian, she
’
d have been very attracted to him. “The guys say you
’
re doing coke again. That true?” He swore.
“You know Tammy; I’ve slipped but guess what? I’
ve not stopped being the money pit for you and this damn band.” He glared out the window. “Fuck this shit. I
’
m gonna kick it this time. I
’
m checking in to rehab this afternoon.” She raised an eyebrow.
“Five years clean, Jay. Wanna tell me what happened to make you slip back?” He laughed.
“It’
s not in the papers yet! Remember Sam?” She nodded. “Long story but the condensed version, I ask her to move in with me, we broke up, we get back together, and she’s pregnant.” Tammy could see he had been hurting badly.
“Should I be saying congratulations?” Jay got up and walked over to the water dispenser and filled a cup.
“Yeah, it’
s my kid, fucked up thing is it
’
s fighting to survive and I have been fighting to die.” He drank the water down in one gulp. He had an unbelievable thirst and craving. The craving was getting worse. He needed to shoot up!
“Babe, get help, before you kill yourself. Don’
t worry about the band. We
’
ll cancel a few dates. No big deal.” She hugged him. “Want me to handle the press?” He kissed her on the cheek.
“That’
s why you
’
re my favourite girl!” She laughed. “I
’
ll make an announcement to the press when I get out, about Sam, the baby and if you don
’
t mind I
’
ll leave out the part about rehab!”
“Of course Hon!” She kissed him on both cheeks and walked with him to the door. “Do it right this time Jay? You have a reason now to stay alive.” He blew her a kiss and left.
Tammy went to her desk and dialed Nick
’
s number.