Glam Metal (25 page)

As she wrapped a towel around her hair, Sam rubbed moisturizing cream on her face. She pulled on a tracksuit bottoms and a tee shirt that said LA Raiders, Jay
’
s tee shirt, he must have left it here. A lump in her throat threatened to give way to more crying but she fought hard to stop.

On the sofa, she turned on the TV and lay down; forcing herself not to remember the times Jay had made love to her on it. Sam knew she couldn’t stay here in the apartment. There were too many memories here. Too much to remind her of Jay and too many reminders of what Dan had done.

A Hollywood gossip show came on and she saw Jay
’
s photo behind the presenter. She didn’t hear what she was saying, then it went to an interview with Jay and Nick. He looked so good. Sam couldn’t watch. His teasing voice said:

“Hey, Darlin, you know my reputation!” The three of them laughed. Sam muted the TV. She just couldn’t
bear to hear his voice, teasing and mocking, flirting almost with the interviewer. And contrasting that with the coldness of how he spoke to her last week when he told her they were finished and that he didn’t love her.

Yet, Lisa seemed to be under the impression that he loved her and he was hurt by her and Dan. But Lisa was there the last time they met Dan, she knew how things were. But then, Sam knew that the tension between her and Dan had put a terrible strain on her relationship with Jay, culminating when he punched his lights out, on the day Jay went public about them.

Sam turned on her side and resting her hand on her stomach felt a tiny butterfly. There it was again. A kick! It was a kick! The baby was kicking! Sam un-muted the TV and Jay was still laughing and saying in his sexy accented voice.

“As our last hit said; Baby you know you want all of this”, he put his arm around the interviewer and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

There was another feint kick. Tears rolled down Sam’s face as she felt her baby move. She looked at the TV screen and whispered:

“That’
s your Daddy on TV baby,” then she turned it off. Sam knew that if she were to get through this, she had to pull herself together and try to be brave. She owed it to herself and the baby. She had to be able to cope and right now, she was falling apart every time she saw him or heard him on TV. Sam knew that it was over between them but she also knew that she had to tell him she was pregnant. One thing she was happy about, was at least now, the press would lose interest in her, not that they had much anyway but now she would be able to return to normal life again.

************************

A few weeks later Sam accepted an offer on the apartment. It was a firm offer and the young couple, were in a position to close in a few weeks. That made her happy as now she could concentrate on getting on with finding a small place for herself and the baby. She was twenty weeks pregnant and still very little sign of a bump! But she was still very sick and hardly able to keep anything down. She also managed to keep her old job at the gallery. Edmund was so delighted not to lose her.

Sam was planning to find a place and open her own gallery after the baby was born.

She found a lovely little cottage in a seaside town that was perfect. It had two bedrooms and was slightly bigger than the apartment but it had a garden and there was a secluded walkway from the garden down to the beach. It was perfect. She couldn’t wait to move in.

She was sitting in the café where she used to come with Lisa to have coffee, on Saturday afternoon. She was reading the local newspaper, when the door of the café opened; she glanced up and saw Lisa and Nick walk in. Their eyes met. Sam looked at Nick, half expecting to see Jay behind him, but he wasn
’
t.

She managed a half smile as Nick made his way over to her table. But Nick didn’t return her smile. Lisa was behind him.

“Well, well, look who it is.” He said in a sardonic tone. Sam looked at him and said as charming as she could.

“Hello, Nick, nice to see you. Hello Lisa.” Lisa half smiled.

“You know that chicks like you are a dime a piece. You’
re not worth it.” He spat the words at her.

“How is Jay?” She heard herself ask. Nick pulled out the chair and sat down. He looked her straight in the eyes.

“He’
s doing fine. At least he
’
s had the good sense to keep his life in order and not throw it all away for a bitch like you.” That hurt. She hadn
’
t done anything wrong. It was Jay who had finished with her, not the other way around. “Oh and I pity that poor kid of yours. One day it too will see you for the tramp you are.” He got up and left followed by Lisa, without even as much as a backward glance. Sam looked around, people were staring. She had to get out of there. She left five pounds on the table as she hurriedly left the café. She was feeling weak and the tears were stinging her eyes and threatening to betray her composure.

Very briskly Sam walked along the waterfront. She gulped in the fresh air as she suddenly stopped and bent over the railing and gave in to the emotions that were building up in her. She let the tears flow freely down her cheeks. It felt good to release the pent up anger she was feeling. How dare Nick talk to her like that? It was Jay that behaved badly, not her. She was in love with him but he was a typical rock star, he used her and when he was finished with her, he cast her out into the garbage can like yesterday’s left over dinner. But she wasn
’
t about to let Nick upset her; she never got on with him. He always had an attitude about her. But how dare he refer to her child like that. She loved her baby and when it was time for the child to be born, she would welcome him or her into the world and would love it unconditionally.

She took a deep breath and turned to walk away and walked straight into Damon. He put his arms out to steady her and she looked at him coldly. Anyone she knew that was friends with or knew Jay was treating her with hostility.

“Samantha, how are you?” He greeted her warmly. “I haven’
t seen you for so long.” She half laughed and asked:

“Damon, you’
re not angry with me, why?” He looked at her puzzled and replied.

“I have no reason to be.” Sam wondered then if he knew. He said. “You look upset, is everything alright?” The kindness he was showing her sent her off into tears again. He put his arm around her and guided her to where he had parked his car. She got in and they sped out of the city into the country.

They stopped at a pub and Damon ordered tea and scones. They sat down in a quiet corner and he said gently.

“If you need to talk Sam, you know I’
m here for you.” She couldn’t hold back the tears. They flowed swiftly, like a river that was in flood.

“Damon, you obviously know that Jay and I are finished?” He nodded. The waiter arrived with their tea and scones. “It was awful. He was so cruel about it.” She said. Damon looked at her and said gently.

“Sam, I like you a lot but I was talking to Jay after it happened. He told me everything.” He poured the tea and handed her a cup. “You hardly expected it to continue; surely you knew he wouldn’t
stay?” Sam looked at him.

“I loved him Damon, I believed him when he asked me to move to LA. I sold my apartment, gave up my job and then….” She broke off. But the memory of that night; the show opening at the gallery and Dan… Sam bit her lip. Damon gently patted the back of her hand.

“But Samantha, be reasonable. Jay is a good guy, even for someone as famous as he is, he is a good guy. He didn’t
deserve that.” She took a sip of tea. Her hands were shaking.

“Deserve what? He finished with me! I loved him; I would never hurt him Damon. Never.” Damon looked at her in disbelief. Sam saw incredulity in his eyes.

“But Sam, even you can see that what you did was wrong. Did Jay tell you about Brandi and how she tried to play him, saying the kid was his?” She nodded. He told her everything. That was the one thing she found amazing about Jay, his openness and honesty. “What you did was exactly the same thing.” She stared at him. She was shaking so much she spilled her tea.

“Damon, all I did was fall in love with him. He dumped me I didn’t
do that to him.” Damon shook his head. He looked at Sam and said:

“You played him Sam, pure and simple.” She stared at him, her mouth open. There was anger flashing in her eyes.

“How did I do that Damon? Please tell me. How can you play someone when you’
re so damn much in love with them?” Damon wasn
’
t making any sense to her.

“Sam, you were still involved with your ex husband. You got pregnant by him for god’s sake!” His patience was beginning to shred. She stared at him in disbelief.

“What?”
She hissed. Was she hearing him right? Is that what he thought? “Jay doesn’t
know I
’
m pregnant! I haven
’
t told anyone.” Damon looked at her as though she had gone mad.

“Sam, he does. And he knows who the father of the child is.” She stared at him. What exactly was he saying? Did Jay deliberately get her pregnant so he could dump her? No, of course he didn’t
.

“Damon, I haven’
t told Jay yet that I
’
m pregnant. How could he know he
’
s going to be a father?” She put her cup down. “He was very cruel when I called him. I was hardly going to tell him then, how could I?” Damon looked at her coldly.

“Samantha, stop it! I know you were involved with your ex and he’
s the father.” He turned to glance out the window and continued. “I thought better of you than that. Your ex phoned Jay and told him everything.” The room began to spin. She felt faint. She needed air. The room was closing in around her. Seconds later she was on the floor.

Sam came to; Damon was kneeling beside her, she felt a cold napkin on her forehead. She looked up into his face. He was concerned. Sam sat up.

“Sorry, that happens a lot still. You don’
t need to stay with me, I
’
m ok now.” She was embarrassed but she certainly didn’t want Damon
’
s pity. She wanted nothing from anyone.

“I best get you back. Where shall I drop you off?” He asked.

“The train station is fine thanks.” She managed to keep her voice steady. But the tears blurred her vision. Sam knew that Damon, along with everyone else had no time for her. They thought she had used Jay while still carrying on with Dan. After all he did to her. Almost raping her and beating and kicking her so badly she almost had a miscarriage. He phoned Jay and told him the baby was his. No wonder, he wanted nothing to do with her. It was like Brandi all over again for him.

A rebel tear escaped and rolled down close to her nose. Damon didn’t notice. Sam felt so alone. She didn’t- couldn’t tell anyone what had happened that night. It was preferable to her that they all thought she was a user, than to have them know the truth. But she couldn’t bear to have Jay think of her like that, yet she couldn’t bear the thought of him knowing the truth of what really happened to her. She couldn’t put him through that. At least now she knew the truth of what really made him end their relationship. Sam knew that he had loved her once. If only the assault on her by Dan hadn
’
t taken place, and she had told him about their baby, he would have shouted it from the tallest tree tops. He would have made a great father.