Going Too Far (The Curvy Submissive) (5 page)

He took his time before finally turning to me fully. Strands
of brown hair fell messily across his forehead, always unwilling to behave.

“Why are you here, Kat?”

“Why are
you
?”

He sighed. “Because Kelli and Tyler and I run in some of the
same social circles. I have certain skills that she hoped I would demonstrate
tonight.”

“Oh my God.” I stood up, my body working completely on its
own apart from my brain. “I don’t want to know this.”

“Sit down, Kat.” He took my elbow and tugged me back into
the sofa beside him. I fell close to his body, too close. He shifted to gain
some freedom, and so did I, but there wasn’t much space to flee to. I didn’t
realize just how big Josh was, how broad, until I had him pressed close to me. Hours
ago I’d been leaning into his body, his hand on my waist, flirting innocently,
and it wasn’t weird at all. This was a very different experience and we barely
touched shoulders.

“Jesus, Josh. I had no idea.”

“Good. Then I was doing a good job of keeping my private
life separate from my professional one.”

I scowled. “I’m not part of your professional life.”

He shook his head, waved his hand as if to erase his own
words. “I didn’t mean…I wouldn’t know how to explain it to anyone, least of all
you. And yet here you are. There’s no sense pretending. You’ll find out soon
enough.”

“What will I find out?” I twisted so I could better face him
and our knees brushed. The sensation felt electric and wrong.
Too close!
I tried to shift but he did something unexpected then. He clamped a hand over
my bare knee and held me still. His eyes pleaded with me.

“Relax, Kat, please. I don’t want to make you nervous. I’ll
be honest with you if you can try not to freak out.”

He frowned like maybe this was asking too much and maybe it
was. I stared at his hand holding me still.

“I promise. I think.” I swallowed. “I’ll try not to freak
out. Much.”

Josh relaxed and grazed his fingers across the inside of my
knee before pulling away. I don’t think he did it intentionally, but the
gesture struck me as sweet. Also very Josh. The skin tingled where he’d touched
and I resisted the urge to touch him back.

Honestly, I felt like I was losing my mind.

“Most of the people here are like you and have never been
introduced to anything but vanilla experiences. And when it comes to you I’ve
always just pretended that you’re still completely wholesome. I do not want to
hear anything to contrary.” He smiled briefly, granting levity to the moment,
which broadened when I snorted derisively.

“
Wholesome
.” I laughed. “Me.”

The familiarity hung between us for a moment before he
became serious again.

“I enjoy...” his voice trailed off and he glanced away from
me for a long time while he collected his thoughts. “This is very difficult for
me. I apologize if I sound coarse, I don’t mean to be. I’m usually pretty good
at talking with others about what I do.”

“I’m pretty sure anything you say is going to make us both
feel very uncomfortable.” I leaned back and settled my hands in my lap. My
heart slowed as the initial adrenaline shock of being found out disappeared. Maybe
if we could still talk we’d be able to get over this.

He exhaled, low and long, before continuing, his eyes
settling on my clasped hands. “I enjoy dominating the young women I sleep with,
and I’m very good at it. I’ve been trained in rope bondage, which is what I’ll
be demonstrating tonight for those new to the play scene.”

The air whooshed out of me as he spoke those words, their
explicit honesty burning their way into my chest. I felt their heat along my
arms to my fingertips and down through my core until it blossomed dangerously
between my legs.
I enjoy dominating young women.
The intensity of those
words felt like nothing I’d ever imagined, especially coming from Josh. Without
thinking I squeezed my thighs to conceal whatever was happening to me down
there, but he saw my reaction and sucked in a breath between his clenched
teeth.

“Shit,” he whispered and ran a hand back through his hair. “
Shit
.”

I cleared my throat and willed myself to relax. How does one
even respond to something like that? “A bondage demonstration?”

“Ah - yes.” He paused. “Possibly a light punishment scene as
well. Tyler intends to do the more intense stuff himself, privately for those
interested.” Josh’s eyes opened, alarmed by something, and cast a serious look
on me. “
You
are
not
interested.”

Something in his tone annoyed me, like he was channeling Brian.
You’re just a little girl, Katrina!
I stiffened beside him and pulled
myself away, suddenly unable to bear his touch. I felt like his entire presence
was holding me back from becoming anything but someone’s little sister.

“I’m an adult, Josh. I can be interested in whatever I want.
That’s pretty much why I’m here. To learn. I’m going to have a tough time
learning if I’m not allowed to do anything.”

“
Kat.”
My name came out sharper than I’d ever heard
him speak it. It demanded my attention, but held none of the condescension
Brian used against me. I stilled and without knowing why, bent my head as if
I’d been scolded. His tense body shifted closer to me and very tentatively he
settled his hand across mine. His fingers gently laced across the back of my
knuckles and without thinking I spread them apart so he could slip his fingers
between mine.

“Kat, I don’t want you to be interested in the intense
punishment scenes with Tyler. Do you understand? It’s hard enough having you
here, but that’s not a line I’m willing to allow you to cross. You just…you
don’t understand what that means. It’s
pain
. Real pain. You won’t like
it and shit, I don’t want you to like it. I…please understand I won’t let you
for your own good.”

I shoved his hand away, missing it and hating it immediately
and at the same time. I stood up and stepped quickly out of his reach when he
tried to pull me back..

“
Allow?
Look, Josh, I get it. This is weird and I can
appreciate that. I don’t know how to deal with knowing that you like to
dominate young women like me.”
Like me
! Where had that thought come
from? His eyes widened as he gazed up at me and those damning words sank into
us both. Could it be true? Was I the type of young woman he craved?

He didn’t deny it, but I also knew it couldn’t be true. I
knew the few women I’d seen him with, no matter how briefly, were his age and
beautiful and graceful and lovely. They weren’t me at all.

No, I couldn’t think about that. What he did in his private
world had nothing to do with me. I stammered and tried to get control of myself
before I lost my head further.

“But I’m also not a little girl anymore. I’m fed up with the
men in my life telling me I have to grow up in one breath but also stay a
little girl they can control in the other. Do you want to know why I’m here?
I’m here because I’ve been force fed what I want, what I like, and how I’m
supposed to behave all my life. I have no idea what I like. I want to know
what’s out there and maybe this isn’t for me, but I want to feel like I’m
making that decision on my own.”

I didn’t want him to see me shaking with the terror the
sound of my own voice inspired in me, so I stalked towards the door before he
could say anything we’d both regret. I stopped in the doorway and glanced back
at him. He watched me, my body, his eyes unfocused somewhere along the small of
my back. He pressed his mouth into a hard line, his brow furrowed in some dark
thought he did not enjoy.

“And for the record, I was seventeen when I stopped being
wholesome
.
I think I’m old enough to let someone tie me up and spank me if that’s what I
decide I want.”

____________

Josh

Watching Kat walk away from me was hard. Every instinct told
me to grab her and pull her back to me and keep her from what was happening in
the other room.

But that would be a mistake and I knew better. I’d sounded
exactly like Brian, commanding her to be one way when it was obvious that
wasn’t the girl she wanted to become.

The way her dress fell across her wide, hourglass figure,
not to mention the way my body reacted to it…
no
. She was certainly not a
little girl.

I think I’m old enough to let someone tie me up and spank
me…

Shit. Oh, shit.
Those words held so much threatening
promise. And
power
.

The mask helped, but not a lot. I knew her too well. I knew
her mouth, her smile, and the nervous way she bit her bottom lip. I knew the
way she fussed with her hands in her lap and swished her hips back and forth
when she wore watery dresses and thought no one was looking. I’d never thought
about it before that moment on the sofa with the cold lake wind kicking up her
pale hair, but I knew her smell as intimately as anyone I’d ever been close to.
She smelled like brown sugar and vanilla and chocolate chip cookies.

I leaned forward with my elbows on my knees and ran my hands
across my face. What was I going to do? How could I allow Kat to watch me hold
a woman down and bind her body to my control? How could I pull a stranger
across my lap and spank her while Kat witnessed her humiliation and submission?
It was too much. I couldn’t get into the dominant space I needed to properly
demonstrate anything. It was out of the question. I’d have to back out and let
Tyler handle everything.

And then a terrible chill spread through my body and her
final words haunted me. How would I be able to watch Tyler pull Kat,
my Kat
,
over his lap, expose her to a room full of strangers, and hold her down while
he beat her with his spread palm? The phantom crack of skin hitting skin filled
my ears and I had to close my eyes against its power. The idea made me angry,
furious, destructive.

Possessive.

I’d come here expecting to be turned on by what would happen
tonight. That was the point and being any willing submissive’s Dom, even for
one scene, especially for their first, was a pleasure I would be honored to
indulge. But Kat? I’d never thought about Kat that way. Never…

Liar
. Once. I’d thought about her once and I’d jerked
off to such a powerful, intense orgasm it had terrified me. I’d never allowed
myself to lose control and indulge in that little fantasy ever again. She was Katrina,
Kat
, practically my little sister. She’d grown up at my father’s bar.
She’d grown from a bratty, gangly teenager to the talented young woman who came
to dance on Friday nights and wrangle free drinks from me just by batting those
big green eyes.

Some days when she flirted unabashedly with me, when she
leaned her body into mine and when I touched her carefully somewhere mostly
innocent, I devoured those moments. I kept them and replayed them later and
pretended they weren’t about her.

But there was no denying the pressure of my erection and how
hard it throbbed when I imagined her pulled down across my lap and taught to
submit.

Bright laughter rose from the other room, amongst them
Kat’s, a sound I’d recognize anywhere. The longer I hid from her, the greater
the chance someone else would move in to capture her and become her champion
for the night. I couldn’t allow that. As much as I didn’t want her here
engaging in my brand of debauchery, I knew if I tried to stop her, she’d run
right into someone’s arms who would be all too willing to take advantage of
her. If she was going to explore for one night, I’d need to be there to make
sure she was safe and well cared for. Because Kat? I knew of at least two men
in that room who’d have their eyes on her immediately. Young and beautiful and
innocent in a way that would certainly be too tempting for certain Doms to
deny. I couldn’t allow any of them to break her.

I returned to the room and descended the steps into the
sunken seating space. Kelli and Tyler reigned as king and queen at the front of
the room with their backs to the windows. Julie, Kat’s friend, sat to Tyler’s
right and I noticed Tyler’d already laid claim with a hand clamped over her
knee. Kat shared a loveseat with a man I didn’t know well, Eric
Something
.
A friend of Tyler’s. I could tell by the way he sat, by the way he draped an
arm across the back of Kat’s cushion that he was moving in to stake some kind
of claim should she let him. He held himself rigid, hooded eyes gazing down at
my little Kat.

Mine?
No. Maybe. At least tonight. I found a seat
across from them so I could watch their every move until I could force her to
sit beside me.

Kelli nodded when I sat down. Her eyes bounced over to Kat and
back and I knew she knew what I was thinking. She was a smart girl. Too smart.

And I was going to kill her for not warning me, for not
telling me she’d invited her here. She’d kept that little piece of information
to herself on purpose, to out me against my will. We would have a long talk
about that later.

“Now that we’re all here, why don’t we enjoy a little
icebreaker before getting to the festivities? Tyler?” Kelli uncrossed her legs
and leaned forward to retrieve a large box from beneath one of the ottomans.
Like the other women, she wore an elaborate carnival mask. That was a smart
touch on her part. Most of the women were nervous but excited, new and curious,
and the masks helped give them a sense of anonymity. Kelli had been a part of
the lifestyle since she was younger than Kat was now and I knew it was
important to her to provide safe places for other women to explore. It was one
of the things I admired about Kelli.  

So why did I think Kat couldn’t be one of those women?