Gossamer (32 page)

Liam walked over and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “How are you this morning?” He lowered his voice, “Am I still glowing?” His eyes twinkled with humor.

“No,” I lied worried he would send me away again and put Grant or someone else on watch.

“Well, that’s good to hear.” He looked over at Grant. “Hey man, how’s it going?”

“Hey.” Grant’s answer was short, but not full of any malice toward Liam. “Well, I will leave you two to talk.” His eyes seemed to plead with me, but when he got nothing in response, he appeared disappointed and walked away, which left Liam and I alone in the library.

“Is everything okay with him?” Liam asked with what sounded like genuine concern.

“I think he’s just tired from last night. He didn’t get any sleep.” I smiled. “You know, I didn’t need a babysitter.”

“Are you kidding me, there’s no way I was going to leave you alone. With my luck you would have wandered into one of the cooks or staff, got faery awestruck, fall madly in love with him and run away together.” I could tell he was teasing.

“That’s a bit extreme, don’t you think.” I nudged him. “And besides, there is only one Fae I’m awestruck with.”

His cheeks reddened, adding to his adorableness.

“Well then, maybe this is a good time to tell you about tonight.” He rubbed the back of his head and his cheeks seemed to redden even more. “My father wants to announce our engagement tonight, but I told him I didn’t think you were ready for that. He is being pretty persistent but if you want more time, I won’t do it. I don’t want to make you unhappy in any way.” He spoke very quickly, clearly uncomfortable with the topic.

I put my hand over his. “Hey, don’t worry about it. I actually already knew, and it’s fine. I don’t want your father pressuring you. If this will make him happy, then let’s just do it.”

He seemed pleasantly surprised by my response. “You’re sure?” I nodded, “Okay then. I will go talk to him right now.” He seemed giddy as he hurried out of the room.

I smiled as he walked away, but as soon as he left the room I grew uneasy. I had told Grant I would think about things, but the moment I saw Liam I didn’t care. All I could think about was making him happy. What was going on? I chewed nervously on my lip. Time to find Cara.

* * * *

“How long do you think the effects of ambrosia wine will last?” I sat on the bed, with my legs pulled up to my chest. The more time that passed the more unsettled I grew.

“I don’t know. I don’t know many humans who have consumed it. I do know the wine is stronger so it takes less, and I’ve heard when humans consume it, days can pass before they become themselves again. Since you are half-faery maybe it will take half that time?”

She sat beside me. “I know it makes humans forget what is really important. They become faery awestruck. It’s like an addiction. They would do anything for Fae and want to be surrounded by them. They can also fall in love with Fae during this time.”

She frowned. “I’ve heard stories of Fae purposely tricking humans into eating or drinking ambrosia for that very reason. I don’t think Liam did that by any means, but I do know it can have that affect.”

“Cara, what have I done? What if this is the ambrosia? I don’t feel like it is, but why would I if all these emotions are a part of it? Grant told me so many things today, and they meant nothing to me. In the pit of my stomach, I feel like something is wrong, but when I see Liam, everything seems so right.”

“I’m not certain, but sounds like it could be ambrosia intoxication to me.” She patted my arm. “Just rest, Kylie. Try hard to think about why you like Liam and why you no longer care about Grant. Maybe if you can figure that out you will find some answers.”

I knew she was right, but the problem was nothing in my mind made sense anymore. It’s like down was up and left was right. I didn’t know who I loved, or why I loved them. I had a feeling I was in for a long day.

Chapter 24

“Are you ready?

Liam stood in front of me looking incredibly handsome, yet still bashful and cute. My heart raced. This was what I wanted, but I couldn’t shake the feeling something was amiss. His glow had almost completely faded, leaving me confident the effects of the ambrosia were fading. Maybe if I stalled long enough it would be out of my system and I could go into this with a clear head.

“I guess. What do we do first?”

“We go out there and mingle. Let everyone see us. I will introduce you to some important people. Then we will sit down for a formal dinner, during which time my father will make the announcement.”

I chewed nervously on my lower lip.

“Don’t worry, Kylie. Everyone will be drinking. They probably won’t even know what is going on,” he teased.

It didn’t calm my nerves, though. I wasn’t worried about everyone else. I worried I was the one who wouldn’t know what was going on. “I guess I can handle that.”

“Are you sure about this? It’s not too late to back out.”

“No, it’s fine. There are lots of people out there waiting for us. Let’s go.”

* * * *

Walking around meeting new people wasn’t as difficult as I expected. What I did find challenging–sorting through my emotions. I smiled politely and made conversation here and there, but my mind remained miles away. On more than one occasion, I caught Liam staring at me with concern. He seemed to sense my shifting moods. I tried to hide it behind a smile but I suspect he saw through that. When I saw Cara across the room, I excused myself to talk to her.

“How you holding up?” She seemed to pick up on my discomfort.

“That’s the problem. I’m not.” I frowned. “I just can’t figure things out, and I feel like this party is a ticking time bomb. Any minute the clock is going to strike midnight and this little wall of happiness I built is going to come crashing down.”

Cara looked concerned, and I hated bringing her spirit down with mine. This was a party after all.

I changed the subject. “On the plus side, I’ve received a ton of compliments on my fantastic dress.” With a grin, I spread my arms out and swayed the skirt from side to side. “It’s exquisite. Only you could make me this beautiful when I’m actually a complete mess. You’re like my faery godmother,” I said, getting a chuckle out of her.

“My design wouldn’t be nearly as gorgeous if it wasn’t on such a perfect model.”

I tsked. “Too modest.”

I did love the dress, though. It was matted silver with a strapless bodice and a full skirt composed of small strips of tulle layered on top of each other. I loved the way it swished when I walked. I felt like a princess, which was ironic considering I second guessed the whole faery princess thing. I was pulled from my thoughts as we were notified to find our seats for dinner service. I looked at Cara and fear gripped me.

“I guess you should go find Liam.” She looked almost as nervous as me.

“Cara, I know it’s wrong to run away from your problems, but really is that such a bad thing?” I said only half-joking as my heart hammered in my chest.

She leaned in and hugged me. “You just do what you need to do,” she whispered, quietly enough for only me to hear, then gestured over my shoulder. “Looks like he found you.”

“I thought I lost you.” Liam laced his fingers through mine.

I let out a nervous laugh. “Still here.”

He escorted me to the table where we were to sit. It was much more formal than our normal dining. I stood next to my chair and scanned the crowd. I didn’t know what I looked for, an exit maybe? Then, off in a corner, I saw him.

Grant leaned against the wall, arms crossed, watching me intently. I had a feeling he’d been there for a while. Our gazes locked in an endless stare as memories flooded my mind. The first time I ever laid eyes on him, the thousand volts of electricity his nearness brought, him swooping me into his arms on Lexie’s staircase, the flowers for my birthday– One after another the memories filled my mind and they didn’t stop there.

My body flushed remembering the hotel room, the kissing and last night.
Last night
.

My hand slowly crept to my lips. I told Grant I loved him and he kissed me. Did that mean he loved me too?

Just then Liam pulled out my chair. I looked at him and, while still sweet and cute, I didn’t have that relentless desire to be with him. Grant was right, it had been the ambrosia.

I looked back in his direction, but he was gone. My gaze swept the room trying to find him. I found Cara instead. I don’t know what my expression told her but it earned me a nod, and I knew she figured out what I was thinking.
Just run away
.

I looked back at Liam. His eyebrows were knitted with concern, then slowly his face fell.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. He nodded in response, seemingly knowing what my next words would be. “I can’t.”

If it was possible to physically see someone’s heart breaking, I was pretty sure I just did. Looking into Liam’s eyes right then pained me. I hated myself for what I was about to do. He just stood there, his eyes full of understanding. His reaction making it all that much harder. I wanted him to yell at me or at least look at me like the horrible person I was, but he didn’t. He simply watched as I walked away.

The room was still pretty chaotic as people found their seats, and I prayed Alastar wouldn’t notice and Liam would be okay. But I didn’t turn around. If I did I might lose my nerve for I was about to do. As soon as I stepped out of the dining room, I rushed through the halls looking for Grant. Everything stood quiet minus the soft rustling of my dress. I noticed the back door cracked open. Hoping he’d been the one to do that, I ran outside. I tore off my heels–they didn’t exactly make the best running shoes–and held them in my hand.

I checked each garden alcove I passed. Tears threatened as the gravity of what I’d just done set in. I needed to find Grant. Maybe I was looking in the wrong place. I feared I might run into Alastar or Liam if I went back inside. So, I kept moving. As I silently prayed I would find him, I rounded a corner and there he was. He stood in the gazebo, the very one in which Liam and I once stood.

Grant must have sensed my arrival because immediately he spun around. He was speechless as if deciding if I really stood there. “Kylie?” I rushed up the gazebo steps. “What are you doing out here?”

“Do you love me, Grant?”

“What?”

“Do you love me? You have kissed me. You have told me you think about me. You have told me you think we should be together, but you have never told me you love me.
Do you love me
?”

“I can’t even put into words what I feel for you. I guess I’ve never said it because the word love didn’t seem adequate. Love gets tossed around, given and taken like some cheap possession. That’s not real love.” He shortened the distance between us.

“Kylie, I gave you my heart a long time ago, and I never want it back. No matter what you choose to do with your life, I will never stop feeling this way about you. If you want to hear those words then, yes, I love you more than I ever thought possible.”

He reached out, looping his fingers through mine. “I love your laugh. I love the way your eyes brighten when you’re happy. I love when you get so frustrated, you pout. I love the way you bite your bottom lip when you’re nervous. I love holding you. I love kissing you.” He pulled me closer and moved his hands to my hips. “I’m sorry I never said it sooner, but I do love you, every part of you.”

“That’s all I needed to hear,” I said, and kissed him. I pressed my body against his as if I couldn’t get close enough. He kissed me back and held me tightly, and I never wanted him to let go.

His hand came to my cheek and gently wiped away the tears that streamed down my face. “Why are you crying, Kylie?”

“I don’t know. Everything, I guess. I wanted so badly to hear you say those words. I think I gave up hope on that ever happening and then, of course, there is this whole Liam situation. I messed up big time, Grant. I don’t know what to do. I’ve hurt him, probably embarrassed him, and now he has to deal with the wrath of his father. As long as I’m here, Alastar will never accept me turning down Liam. No matter what, I will be forced into it. I don’t know what he has planned, but this seems pretty important to him.”

“Then you won’t live here anymore.”

“Where would I go? There is no place safe for me.”

“I can keep you safe.”

“But if you and I leave together, then you will also be in trouble. I can’t do that to you. This is my mess. You can’t lose this,” I gestured toward the castle, “and jeopardize your friendship with Liam.”

“I don’t care. The only thing I want is standing right in front of me.” He brushed my cheek with his thumb. “You are the only thing that matters to me, and even if I stuck around here, it would be pretty challenging being friends with the guy who’s marrying the girl I love.” He smiled with affection.

I chewed on my bottom lip.

“Do you have any idea how crazy that makes me?” He looked at my mouth. My forehead creased in confusion. “Every time you do that, I can’t help but stare at your mouth, and every time I look at your mouth, I want to kiss you. It’s a vicious cycle. I bet you have no idea how often you do it, either.” He wore a devious grin.