Guarded Heart (3 page)

He stood two feet front me looking tired and defeated. “I
wish I could tell you Sam. I know that I love you. I know that you did nothing
wrong. I wasn’t unhappy with you. You have always made me feel needed and
wanted. I can’t make excuses because no matter what none of them are good
enough reason for hurting you. If I could go back I would…I still love you so
much and I know I probably always will.” I still had no answer as to why he
took what we spend years building and threw it away like it was nothing. “Was
there ever anyone else besides Heather…was she the only one?” By the look on
his face I could already see what the answer was before he spoke, “I don’t want
to hurt you anymore than I already have.” He ran his hand through his hair and
looked at the ground. “Just tell me Tony I deserve to know the truth.” He
turned his back and placed both hands laced together behind his head pausing
for minute before turning to face me. “Last year when I went to Michigan for
the conference I met a girl in the hotel bar…and then the secretary at the
office at the last Christmas party.” I couldn’t look at him I felt like I was
going to pass out. I had to get out of there and fast, “I need you to get the
rest of your things out of the house by the end of this weekend. Call before
you come over.” I got into my car and backed out leaving him standing in the
parking lot of Heather’s apartment.

I drove to Allison’s house and I couldn’t get out of the
car. I had cried the entire fifteen minutes it took to drive across town and
now I was frozen. Everything I thought I had was a joke. I was an idiot a blind
stupid girl who thought Tony was the man of my dreams and that I would always
be safe with. How could I be so blind to him? How did I not know he was
cheating all this time? I shut my car off and stared ahead at nothing as I
continued to cry. A little tap on the window startled me from the side. Mitch
was slouched down next to my car and there was a guy standing next to him I had
not seen before. Mitch reached for the door handle opening the door and I fell
into him as he wrapped me up in his arms and carried me into his home.

“What happened? Is she okay?” Allison quickly dropped
what she was doing to come straight over as Mitch lowered me onto the couch.
“Hey Babe, I’m going to run Wes home and give you two a little time to talk.”
He told Allison before he and his friend left.

Alli had went into the kitchen and brought back a box of
Kleenex putting them onto the couch between us. “Thanks. I feel like such an
idiot.” Grabbing a tissue I blew my noes before continuing. “He sent flowers
and to be a bitch I delivered them to Heather with the card that he had written
about her being a mistake. I guess I just wanted her to know that she really
wasn’t anything special. He was there and from the looks of it I once again
interrupted their fuck-fest…” I paused to blow my nose. “Can you believe that
she wasn’t the first person, hell she wasn’t even the second. He has been
cheating for over a year. I am just lost…I don’t know why this happened.”
Allison tucked my hair that had fallen in my face behind my ear, “You know what
Sam…you were always too good for him. I love you honey but you were and you
know it. You don’t deserve this heartache. He is not worthy of your tears. I
think that you need to go on your trip next week and get away for a while. You
paid for it…the insurance…cancel his and get your money back then go relax…and
take care of you. You need a break and you’re not going to get it here. I’ll
make sure he gets the rest of his things out and then when you get back you can
start over. I am not saying it’s going to be easy but sweetheart you deserve a
new start.”

                Arriving on
flight 248 in Montego Bay, Jamaica it took a lot of persuasion to get me here
but now that I was I made a promise to myself. I was going to say goodbye to
that lying cheating bastard because I had to move forward no matter what. There
was absolutely no way in hell I would ever take him back so why waste any more
time on his sorry ass.

                I took a photo of
the front of my hotel and forwarded a message onto Allison letting her know I
had arrived.  
‘Now get drunk and get tan! That is an order!’  
That was
the response I received from my best friend. So following orders I did just
that. I spent the next five days on the beach and by the pool. I ordered drinks
and ate exotic foods. I got a massage and even took a few long strolls on the
beach. I tried to not think much of Tony it was getting a little easier to keep
my mind away from him because I would constantly remind myself of exactly what
got us to our current status. He can’t keep his dick in his pants apparently.
No matter how much I loved him I could never forget what he did or forgive him.
He would now be a part of my past and I would close that chapter.

                When I arrived
back home from my vacation Allison picked me up from the airport. “Damn Hot
stuff…look at you! All tan and sexy! Did you change your hair?” I took a spin
to show her my hair I had it layered and had red highlights added throughout my
brown. I had long layered bangs that lie perfectly across my forehead and
swooped in place behind my ear.  “Do you like?” I winked at her and picked my
bag back up as she stepped forward and reached out to run her hands through my
hair. “Like…oh darling I love…” She wrapped her arms around me and squeezed. “I
missed ya babe. You look Beautiful!” A tear ran down her cheek and she quickly
swiped it away before spinning toward the exit and to her car.

                Over the next
week I decided to take the money I had from the reimbursement of Tony’s part of
the trip and do some redecorating. I painted and got some new bedding, throw
pillows and some pictures for the walls. I needed to change it up a bit and
make it feel different there. I had to erase the memory of Tony as much as
possible. I had done a great job avoiding my mother and I hoped to keep it that
way. She wanted to blame me for Tony’s inability to be faithful and I refused
to go down that road with her.

                On Sunday the
night before I had to go back to work I decided to make a quick run to the
store and grab what I would need for the week. I was finished shopping and went
through the nearest checkout without paying much attention I hadn’t looked in
front of me. I suddenly felt as if someone was staring and when I looked up I
was faced with Heather. She seemed scared to move I just turned my head toward
the cashier who was now ringing up Heather’s items and as she reached for the
last box on the belt I felt bile rise in my throat causing a burn. It seemed to
jump out in 3D as the cashier scanned the First Response pregnancy test and
then placed it into the bag. I refused to look back at Heather I just stayed
facing the cashier until I saw her give back the changed and say thank you. I
forced my body to keep moving I had to get out of here. I found my way to my
car and loaded everything almost robotic. I knew this was going to be hard.
Heather…pregnant with Tony’s baby was just another step in the wrong direction
for me.

                I decided to try
and push it the furthest from my mind and relaxed in the tub with a glass of
wine and a good book.

                I threw myself
into work over the next couple months I took on every possible patient I could.
I volunteered for everything I could, even took on any shift that needed to be
covered due to emergencies or illness by other therapist. I wanted to stay busy
and it was working I was now entering month four without Tony and it felt
easier with each passing day. I managed to avoid both him and Heather. I am
sure it was because I never went anywhere besides work and the gym. I became a
hermit and it seemed to be working.

                My phone rang
from the next room. I hurried to quickly start the washer before darting off to
the kitchen to grab it before it went to voicemail. “Hello” I sighed without
even paying attention to who it was on caller ID. “Okay Hoochie get your ass in
gear NOW! We are going out…Mitch and I will be there to pick you up in an hour.
Wear something sexy and don’t argue…Bye baby doll!” Allison didn’t give me a
chance to argue. I tried calling her back but of course she would not answer. I
knew she would be super pissed if I refused to go along with her plan to get me
out of the house.

                To humor my life
long pal I jumped in the shower and quickly washed my hair. How was I supposed
to know what to wear when I had no idea where we were going? I decided to try
to send a quick text hoping for a response once she realized I was no longer
trying to get out of going out.

Okay Brat
…
what do I
wear?

Something Sexy now hurry! Alli

Wow that helps what are we
doing…Jeans? Skirt? Dress? What…HELP!

Dancing! No dress preferably
something tight and revealing! Alli

I had a strong feeling she was
leaving a very important piece out of the puzzle. Dancing would not require me
to look sexy unless she was pushing some guy on me. I may have to hurt my best
friend. I went for Black skinny jeans and a tight red off the shoulder top with
hoop earrings and my hair down. I was just finishing up the final touches on my
makeup when the doorbell rang followed by Allison walking in after using her
key. “You ready hot stuff?” I walked out of the bathroom, “How do I look?” She
turned to face me and a big smile stretch across her face… “Damn Girl…Oh yeah
you look fucking hot!” We both laughed and I followed her out to the car.
Climbing into the backseat I hollered to Mitch, “Okay Mitchell your wife is refusing
to tell me what is truly going on so will you please fill me in on what she is
up to Please!” He backed out of the driveway and after placing the car in drive
stated very seriously, “Listen Sam I luv yah but I don’t cross my wife because
when I do I know there is no way I am getting lucky and tonight I have every
intention of getting me some so you are on your own.” He smiled at Alli and
then stepped on the gas. She turned around and stuck her tongue out at me then
smiled.

                We pulled up
outside of a club called ‘Rave’ and I could see the excitement in Allison. She
was literally wiggling in her seat like a two year old in McDonalds Drive-thru
waiting for her happy meal toy. The club was busy and I could hear the band
playing. They sounded pretty good which explained the crowd that had gathered
to watch.

                Alli grabbed my
hand and led me into the entrance. Mitch paid our cover charge and we all
walked over to the bar. Alli hollered to the bartender… “Shots, four of them
Tequila” she turned to me and winked as Mitch wrapped his hands around her
waist and pulled her back into him. I had to turn away because it had been too
long and I felt a bit jealous that she had a guy to go home with. After we did
our shots I bought us all a round of beers and we made our way to a corner
booth. Mitch excused himself to go talk to someone he knew. “So you want to
know what I have up my sleeve huh?” I turned to face my conniving best friend
and by the look on her face I knew this was going to be interesting. “Spill it
Al” I said without looking away from her grin.

                “You need to get
laid. Plain and simple you need to hook up with some guy who fucks you until
you are comatose and then gives one more good pounding just for the hell of it.
You seriously just need to get some.” Allison thought she was slick, like I
honestly didn’t know she was trying to hook me up with someone. I give up I was
feeling fuzzy from the shots and had no desire to fight her on this so to play
along is what I chose. “So Alli who do you recommend because random strangers
in bars are usually not what I would choose but hell…point me toward him.” I
was scanning the floor and found a few cute prospects I could hear Alli rambling
and I was barely listening. I had landed on some really hot guy that had me
feeling a little warm and flushed. Starting at his feet and moving my way up
over full built muscular legs, a really sexy ass that you could bounce a
quarter off. He had some mouthwatering hips leading to a tight rippled stomach,
and built chest. His arms were so full and cut. The snug black shirt he was
wearing left little to the imagination. I felt like I may be drooling as I
imagined his arms tensing as he suspended himself above me. He was very sexy
and extremely good looking. He had dark hair sexy as hell lips and his
shoulders were broad…I just wanted to nibble on his neck. I bite my lower lip
in an attempt to keep it from dropping to the floor.

I felt Allison smack my arm bringing my attention back to
her, “Hello excuse me did you hear anything I just said to you?” I turned back
to Mr. Tall Dark and completely fuckable to only find him no longer there. I
quickly turned back to face Allison, “Um sorry, did you see that guy who was
just standing at the bar…Am I on fire because I feel kinda warm right now?” She
laughed at my response, “No I was trying to tell you about Mitch’s friend. He
is here tonight and I think that he is what you are in desperate need of right
now…he is seriously hot.” I held my finger up to tell her to stop as my eyes
reconnected with the man that seems to at this moment have a direct line to a much
neglected and currently moist spot on my body. Until this moment I had cringed
at the thought of having any man other than Tony in my bed but at this moment
Tony was old news and something that was so far away from my mind.

I couldn’t stop staring and noticed him approaching our
booth. I hadn’t even noticed the fact that Mitch was right at his side. “Oh never
mind there he is”, Alli said from across the table. I was afraid to breath
Mitch flopped down beside Allison and Mr. Tall Dark and completely fuckable
slid in beside me. I tore my eyes away from him to look at Alli who can read me
like a book and knew at that moment that I really liked what I saw. “Hey Sam
this is my friend Wes, Wes this is Sam.” I turned to face him and he was
wearing a cocky little grin, “Hi Sam, it’s really nice to meet you.” Oh holy
hell I felt light headed it really was completely unfair that he was this hot
and had an amazing sexy smile to go right along with it. “Nice to meet you
too”, I managed to speak and thought I contained my excitement even though
inside I was jumping around squealing like a little girl. This man was hot as hell
and smelled so damn good.