Authors: Marin Thomas
Not an hour of the day passed by when Conway didn't regret how he'd handled the situation with Javier and Miguel when they'd asked him to be their father. He'd hurt them deeply and he wanted to make it up to the boys so they wouldn't remember him in a bad light. There was no reason why he couldn't buy them a couple of Christmas gifts, too.
An hour later, Conway had showered and left the farm. As he mulled over options for gifts, his truck sped past a parked van that had pulled off the road ten miles outside of Yuma. A sign next to the vehicle read Black Labs 4-Sale.
The boys would love a dog
.
Giving no thought to how Isi might feel about owning a dog, Conway made a U-turn and drove back to the van.
“How much?” he asked, studying the five puppies inside a makeshift pen.
“A hundred dollars. They're American labs, not English,” the woman said.
“What's the difference?” Conway didn't know a thing about the breed.
“American labs have a longer nose and thinner body but they're more energetic.”
Energetic was good. The dog would be able to keep up with the boys. Conway watched the puppies interactâfour of them attempted to climb out of the pen and one hung back, watching the others. The shy puppy made Conway think of Javier. He pulled his wallet from his pocket and shelled out the money. “I'll take the one in the corner.”
“That's a male.”
The woman set the puppy inside a cardboard box with an old towel at the bottom before taking Conway's cash. “Be sure he sees a vet soon for a physical and his vaccinations.”
“Thanks.” Back on the road, Conway pushed the speed limit into Yumaâhe couldn't wait to see the expressions on the boys' faces when he handed them their Christmas present.
* * *
“H
OW
COME
YOU
came to get us?” Miguel followed Conway across Mrs. Sneed's yard, Javier trailing him.
“I have an early Christmas present for you.” Mrs. Sneed had gladly handed over the boys and their booster seats for the afternoon after Conway promised to return them to her before Isi got off work at six.
“What kind of surprise?” Javier grasped Conway's hand. His small fingers felt fragile and Conway's chest tightened with an unexpected need to protect the kid.
“This kind of surprise.” He stopped at the truck and opened the door. The boys gasped when they saw the puppy's face peeking over the edge of the box.
“Is he ours?” Miguel asked.
“Yep.” Conway carried the box to the middle of the yard and sat on the ground. When he set the puppy free, the lab tried to climb the boys' legs. The twins took turns holding the dog and giggling when it licked their faces.
“What's his name?” Javier asked.
“He doesn't have one. You two need to come up with a name for him.”
“How come you gave us a dog?” Miguel squealed when the puppy pawed at his hair.
“Because all little boys should grow up with a dog.” And because the dog would be there for the boys for the rest of its lifeâunlike Conway.
“Missy has a dog named Pringles,” Miguel said.
“Who's Missy?”
“She lives with her grandma across the street,” Javi said.
Miguel petted the dog. “We can call him Captain America.”
“That's dumb.” Javier shoved his brother's shoulder.
Miguel shoved back. “You're dumb.”
“No fighting. You can think of names while we run errands.” Conway put the dog in the box.
“Where are we going?” Miguel asked.
“The puppy needs to see a doctor to make sure he's healthy.” Conway knew of one pet store that had a veterinary clinic inside it. He'd gone there once with a girlfriend whose cat had become sick.
After the boys were belted in, Conway drove across town. The vet appointment took an hour and the puppy passed inspection. A vet tech talked Conway into purchasing pet insurance to cover neutering, yearly vaccinations and dental care.
Puppy supplies were next on the list. The boys selected a red collar and leash. Conway tossed an extra collar into the basket, warning the boys that the dog would outgrow the smaller one in a few months. The boys asked how big the dog would get and Conway found a book with pictures of full-grown labs.
“He's gonna be big,” Javier said.
“Big enough to handle you two.” Conway put the book into the cart, in case Isi had questions on training the dog. “Next, we need food and chew toys.”
By the time he rolled the shopping cart up to the counter, the basket was overflowing. He'd purchased enough food to last three months, because he didn't want the dog to be a financial burden on Isi.
He and the boys hauled their stash to the truck then returned to the trailer where Conway laid Isi's ironing board across the floor in front of the bathroom and told the boys that the puppy would have to remain in the room until he was trained to do his business outside. Javier spread the piddle pads across the floor and Miguel filled the water bowl, then Conway set the puppy on his towel and he curled into a ball and went to sleep.
“Make sure you tell your mom that the vet said to feed the dog twice a dayâonce in the morning and once at suppertime. And you need to take him outside to do his job right after he eats, okay?”
“What's his job?” Javier asked.
“Poop. You don't want the dog to do that on the floor or on top of your bed.”
“Eew!” Javier pinched his nose. “Yuck!”
“C'mon. Time to go to Mrs. Sneed's.”
The boys didn't want to leave the puppy and spent ten more minutes saying goodbye before they followed Conway outside. After placing the house key in the potted plant on the porch, both Miguel and Javier hugged Conway's leg and thanked him for the puppy.
“Be good to your new best friend, okay?” Conway crouched in front of the boys. “Never hit the dog and never throw anything at him or tug on his legs or ears, okay?”
“We won't.”
“You treat him kindly, and he'll be your friend for life.” Conway stood.
“Are you gonna come back and see the puppy?” Javier asked.
“Probably not for a while.” They walked in silence to the neighbor's trailer.
When Mrs. Sneed opened the door, Javier said, “Conway bought us a new puppy for Christmas.”
After the boys went inside, Conway said, “The puppy's penned in the bathroom right now.”
“Okay.” Mrs. Sneed smiled and shut the door in his face, no doubt eager to get back to whatever TV program she was watching.
Conway considered waiting for Isi to return to warn her about the dog but he chickened out. After letting her and the boys down, there was no telling what he'd do or how far he'd go to make amends.
Chapter Fourteen
“Mom, you're gonna be excited about the present Conway got us for Christmas,” Miguel said as he and his brother followed Isi to their trailer.
When she'd arrived at Mrs. Sneed's to pick up her sons, her neighbor informed her that Conway had spent the afternoon with the boys. Isi didn't know what to make of his visit or his buying her sons Christmas gifts.
As soon as she opened the door and stepped into the trailer, a tiny bark stopped her in her tracks.
Oh, no
.
The boys raced down the hallway to the bathroom.
“It's a black lab,” Javier said.
“I see.” The puppy's tail wagged so hard his back end danced.
“Conway bought us a dog for Christmas and food and toys and bones.” Javier went into the kitchen and returned with a folder of paperwork. “Our dog gets to go to the vet for free.”
Conway had thought of everything, except who would take the dog outside during the middle of the day when she was at work and the boys were in school.
Miguel cuddled the puppy against his chest. The poignant picture tugged at her heart. The dog would go a long way in helping her sons cope with Conway's absence, but like her graduation necklace, the dog would always remind her of Conway. Emotions aside, this wasn't the right time in their lives to own a pet, not with her starting a new job.
“Maybe you should take him outside and see if he has to go to the bathroom.”
“Conway said we have to feed him dinner first,” Miguel said. “Then we take him outside so he doesn't poop in the house.”
“Does he have a name?” she asked.
Javier spoke up. “We wanna name him Bandit.”
“Why Bandit?”
“'Cause that's the name of Mr. Mighty's dog.”
Mr. Mighty was a cartoon show the boys watched on Saturday mornings. Isi scratched the puppy behind his ears. “I guess you do look like a Bandit.”
A half hour later the puppy had eaten and done his job and now slept between the boys on the floor while they played with their building blocks. Isi got out the camera and snapped a few photos for the infamous scrapbooks then paced the kitchen floor, debating how to handle the situation. They couldn't keep the dog. She didn't have the money to pay for food and treats and bones and then after a year she'd have to pay for vet bills. If she had to spend her savings on a dog, how was she supposed to buy a new car or move her and the boys into a nice apartment?
A lump formed in her throat as she watched the boys cuddle Bandit. She didn't want to be the bad guy and tell her sons that they couldn't keep the dog. Tomorrow, after she dropped them off at Mrs. Sneed's, she'd ask Conway to come get the dog.
* * *
C
ONWAY
PULLED
UP
to Isi's trailer at three-thirty. She'd asked him to meet her at four. He got out of the truck and sat on the stoop to wait. He knew what this was aboutâthe dog.
The strain in her voice when she'd left a message telling him she couldn't keep Bandit had been obvious. He'd overstepped his bounds. If he was honest, he'd admit that he'd only been thinking of himself when he'd gotten the dog for the boys. He'd felt bad that he'd walked out on the twins and had wanted to appease his guilt.
He worried about Javier and Miguel's reaction when they found out their mother wasn't going to let them keep Bandit. Everything he did only seemed to make things worse. He heard the clunking sound of Isi's car engine before she pulled beneath the carport. The boys hopped out of the backseat, wearing huge grins.
“Conway's here!” Javier scrambled up the porch steps and sat next to him.
“Did you come to see Bandit?” Miguel sat on the other side of Conway.
“We named him Bandit,” Javier said.
Isi's brown eyes clouded with concern. She didn't say a word as she stepped past Javier and went into the trailer. He deserved her silence.
“He's getting bigger?” Miguel said.
Right then Isi opened the door and handed over the puppy then returned inside the trailer as if she couldn't stand to see her sons' faces when Conway broke the bad news.
The boys played with Bandit in the yard, their love for the dog obvious. Conway felt worse by the second. “Hey, guys. Bring Bandit over here and sit down.”
Once they were settled on the steps and Bandit happily chewed on a bone, Conway said, “I have bad news.”
The twins frowned.
“Bandit can't live at the trailer.”
“Why not?” Miguel asked.
“It's my fault. I should have asked your mother if it was okay to give you guys a dog.”
“But our mom likes Bandit,” Javier said.
“Of course she does, but she works long hours and you two are in school during the day. Bandit's going to grow into a big dog and he needs more space to run around than this small yard.”
Javier picked up the puppy and hugged him to his chest. “But he's ours. We don't want you to take him back.”
Conway struggled to draw air into his lungs. “I'm not going to take him back.”
“Where's he gonna go?” Miguel asked.
“He's going to live at the pecan farm. You guys can visit him anytime you want.” For a man who was trying to break ties with this small family, he was failing miserably.
“But the farm is far away,” Javier said.
“Bandit will have plenty of room to run at the farm. When you and your mom visit him, you can spend all day there, if you want.”
“What if our mom won't take us to see Bandit?” Miguel asked.
“Then I'll bring him over to your house.” Right now he'd do just about anything to erase the sad expressions on the boys' faces. “I promise I'll take good care of Bandit for you.”
The trailer door opened and Isi stepped outside, her eyes darting between her sons. Javier hugged Bandit then set the puppy down and went inside. Miguel did the same, but as he passed his mother he glared and said, “You're mean.”
“Isi, I'm sorry. I never meant for this toâ”
She motioned to the storage shed. “Don't forget the bags of dog food and other supplies you bought.”
So much for trying to make the boys' Christmas specialâhe'd ruined it instead.
* * *
“I
S
N
ATE
HAVING
trouble sleeping again?” Conway asked Dixie as he climbed the porch steps.
“Yes.” His sister patted the empty spot next to her on the swing.
“Kind of chilly out here to be rocking him, isn't it?”
“Nate's plenty warm in his blanket, besides, the cooler air soothes him.”
They rocked in silence, until she said, “What's troubling you?”
He didn't know where to begin. When it came to spilling his guts...she was his baby sister and he didn't share his problems with her.
“You're in love with Isi,” she said.
“How did youâ”
“I guessed you were in love with her at Thanksgiving. You couldn't take your eyes off of her during dinner then you did everything possible to avoid her afterward. And when Will made a move on her playing football your skin actually turned green with jealousy.”
“It did not,” he said.
Dixie snorted. “You and Will had a tug-of-war match over Isi.”
“You noticed, huh?”
“Noticed? You guys almost yanked the poor woman's arm off her body.” Dixie smiled. “I was beginning to think she and Will had feelings for each other then she went off with you on a walk.” She shifted Nate in her arms. “Is there some sort of love triangle going on between the three of you?”
“Isi told me she wanted to start dating and a coworker set her up with a guy who turned out to be a jerk so I said I'd find her a date.”
“So you asked Will to take her out.” Dixie chuckled.
“What's so funny?”
“You thought Will would be a safe date, didn't you?”
“Heck, yeah.” Conway crossed his arms over his chest, not sure he liked opening up to his sister. “Will's older. Mature. He's not like younger guys who want jump into bed withâ”
“Are you sure we're talking about the same brother?”
“What do you mean?”
“Will is all those things you said, but don't you remember he had a reputation in high school of being a bad boy?”
Conway thought back to those days and recalled his brother working three part-time jobs to save up enough money to buy a used Harley. The bike had been a babe magnet. “I forgot about the motorcycle.”
“I can tell you from my observations on Thanksgiving that Isi only has eyes for you.”
“She couldn't escape fast enough after dinner when she went into the house to help you with the dishes,” Conway said.
“Men don't get it. If a woman loves a man that she knows she'll never have, she's not going to torment herself and allow the guy to keep coming around.”
Was that why Isi told him to take the dogâbecause she'd been worried that he'd drop by the trailer to check on it?
“Isi's a nice girl, Conway, and her boys are cute.” Dixie sighed. “But you're not going to propose to her, are you?”
He shook his head.
“What are you afraid of?”
He'd never shared this story with any of his siblingsâthat he was willing to now, caught him off guard. “I think you were about fourteen when I found my father working as a ranch hand in northern Arizona.”
“What's his name?”
“Zachary Johnson.”
“I'm guessing your visit didn't go well, since you never mentioned it before now.”
Conway shook his head. “He said he'd tried to do right by me and Mom but after six months he cut out on us, because he'd felt trapped by the responsibility of raising all of us.”
“Did you ask him why he never visited you through the years?”
“He said he didn't know anything about being a father. His old man had cut out on him and his mother, too. And his grandfather had done the same to his wife and child.”
“And you're afraid if you make a commitment to Isi, you'll end up running, too?”
That's exactly what he thought, but hearing Dixie say it out loud twisted his stomach into knots.
“What if you're nothing at all like your father?” she asked.
“Isi's sons have already been ditched by one father. It would be cruel if I married Isi then discovered I wasn't cut out to be a father and left her and the boys high and dry.”
“Do you love Isi?” she asked.
“Yes.”
“Then don't
try
âmake it work.”
“You're not listening to what I said.”
“I heard you. Did your father say he loved Mom?”
Conway thought back on their conversation. “I don't think so.” He doubted his father had loved anyone.
“When you love a person with all your heart, everything's on the table and everything's possible.”
“What if I can't stick it out?”
“What if you can? What if you stay, and you turn out to be the best husband and father any wife and children could ask for? Are you willing to sacrifice your love for Isi, because you're afraid?”
Conway got up from the swing and walked to the end of the porch. “You make it sound simple.”
“Give yourself credit, Conway. You're still here with the family.”
“What do you mean?”
“If you were a cut-and-run guy, you would have left us long ago. But you stayed.”
He'd never thought of it like that, but maybe his sister had a point.
“And you know why you didn't leave?”
“I'm sure you're dying to tell me,” he said, flashing a smile.
“Because you love us and we love you.”
Love
. Was it possible that the four-letter word held more power over him than fear? “Miguel and Javier deserve a man who knows how to be a father. I've got no experience raising kids.” Shoot, he'd already made the mistake of buying the boys a dog and then taking it away from them. And look at the trouble he'd caused when he'd given Javier advice about fightingâthe kid had gotten suspended from school.
“You may share your father's genetics, but you also share genes with your brothers and Grandpa Ely. All of them have taught you dedication, caring and responsibility.”
What Dixie said made sense. Maybe the two genes would cancel each other out and Conway could start fresh and determine his own destiny.
“None of us had the best parents in the world, but I intend to love my son with everything inside me and hopefully my love will make up for my parenting mistakes.”
“I want to believe love is enough.” But he had an unproven track record.
“If your father would have apologized for abandoning you and asked for your forgiveness and an opportunity to be a part of your life, would you have given him a second chance?” Dixie asked.
Conway didn't have to think about his answer. “Yes.” Having a father, no matter when he came along in his life, was something he'd always wished for.
“There's your answer, Conway. All a child really wants is to know they're loved and that their parents care what happens to them.” Dixie smiled. “And you know what else?”
“What?”
“You already said you love Isi. Her sons are a part of her, so I know you love the boys, too.”
He swallowed hard. Yes, he cared about Javier and Miguel. Cared about their feelings. Worried over them being bullied at school and wanted to keep them safe from harm. All that caring added up to love.
“The boys don't need a perfect father, Conway. They need a father to love them, faults and all, and not expect them to be
perfect
.” She stroked the top of Nate's fuzzy head.
“I guess I have a lot to think about,” he said.
“Where's Bandit?”
“Sleeping in the bunkhouse.”