Heart Song (32 page)

Immediately, I felt a burst of warmth and excitement coming from my body's center. I opened my eyes and straddled Marren's waist with too much speed. Having forgotten until then the reason I laid down to begin with. It all came back to me as I felt like I continued moving to the other side of Marren, yet my body stood still. I laid my head down on his chest with a miserable groan. He rubbed my back gently while the child protested being squished by two bodies.

Let's go get you something to eat and a little rest.

Just as soon as I can move,
I said, then slowly half rolled and half slid to his side. Marren's arm made the perfect spot for my head. The curve of his arm wrapped around me in a tight and comfortable embrace.

“Nothing is more important to me than you, Relena. I'm sorry I made you feel otherwise.”

I played with a leather lace on his vest, twirling it between my fingers while he did the same with a strand of my hair. “I understand. Believe me, I want Jiren's head on a platter just as much as—if not more than—everyone else. Mine just happens to come with a little more of a personal grudge.”

“You, hold a grudge?”

It was meant as a joke, but it struck something within me. I clutched the lace I had been playing with in my fist and pressed my lips together so tightly I thought I would cut them with my teeth.

“Was it something I said?” Marren asked.

“No, but it's the whole topic of him. He just...just...”

“
Shh
, uwoduhi.
It's not something you should stress over. Think of the baby.”

“Okay, you want me to not stress? Then why can't we cross over, have the baby there?”

“Because it isn't safe for you to change while pregnant.”
There was a hidden fear behind it all. Something dark crossed his eyes and suddenly I knew part of the reason why Marren had been so edgy that day when we crossed over. I was carrying his child and I had gone through a change.

“Why?” I sat up, pulling my knees under me. The nausea subsided.

He propped himself up on his arm and toyed with a piece of grass that he had pulled from the ground. “It's just something my people always feared but could never exactly put into words.”

I felt his emotions filter through every level imaginable. He was so conflicted about the cross over and still worried if he had made the right decision. I didn't need our private communication or touch to see that much.

“Marren.”
I paused, waiting for him to look at me. When he did, I thought my heart would break free from my chest, much in the same way it felt like it would do when he and I first talked in my room after he rescued me from the Cyrs. I put as much love and faith into my words as I could, “I'm okay. The baby is okay. We're okay. Nothing is wrong with the baby. But I really would love to have her at home.
In our own private home.”
I realized that was the first time I thought of the baby as a girl. I smiled only to have it fade far too quickly.

“We can't cross over, even if I wanted to, we can't. We have to make sure that Jiren isn't going to do anything and we have to find out how to finish him. The danger is too great for the baby. You could go into labor early or shifting into your normal human body could...” He choked off.

I couldn't help the enormous guilt that filled the hollow pit in my stomach like an iron ball wedged in there. I leaned into him, wrapping my arms around his neck and shoulders, and then placed a long peck on his neck at the base of his jaw. I felt his arms wrap around me tightly, pulling me into him, so closely that our bodies seemed to blend together.

I'm sorry.
I used our private way to talk because my mouth was pressed into his body.

Marren's body trembled slightly.
It's okay.
Gvgeyu, waya uwoduhi.
I thought I wouldn't get to see this day. That you would die, along with me, and the child. I thought that I wouldn't see you again and kept feeling you somewhere near me. I kept trying to tell you to come closer, but when I realized what the forest was doing to me, I tried to keep you away.

I knew I had a slim chance of repeating his words, his beautiful enchanting language. But I knew how it affected me. It calmed the angriest storms that raged within. I was sure it could do the same for him. At least I hoped.
If he didn't die of laughing.

I pulled from him, ignoring the hurt look in his eyes, and cupped his face with both of my hands. Staring deep into the black orbs I loved so much. I whispered, “
Shh
,
gvgeyu
. You have me forever, I promise.”

His eyes grew wide with shock?
Alarm?
He was frozen in place.
Stiff and unmovable.
His lips were parted as if the words he searched for were lost in the wind. I feared I had screwed up and said he was the furthest thing from my heart. I felt my heart hang suspended, afraid to beat. Then he pulled me into him so hard and so fast I didn't have time to think. His lips pressed into mine and moved them to his will. His tongue slid over my lips and along mine. Such heat and such passion exploded from him. I felt the freeing feelings he had. It seemed like he compared it to the way the eagle feels when flying on the first spring day after a long and cold winter. A strange idea to me, but he was filled with so much love and joy, and pure elation.

“Uh-hem.”
It was Enid.

We froze. So caught up in the moment we didn't hear anyone approach. Marren loosened his grip on me and helped me to stand. We faced Enid, who looked like he had been smacked in the cheeks with how red they were.

“Yes,” Marren cleared his throat, “what is it, Enid?”

“Okelo wishes to run through some of her last minute ideas with you, and A'lainn, here, is needed elsewhere.” His eyes fell on me and I knew what he meant. I had to be prepared for the ceremony.

Reluctantly, Marren released me. All the while I felt his eyes on me, watching me walk away. I turned around, just before disappearing into the hall of the mountain. His eyes met mine and I knew that I had said the right thing at just the right time.

I felt like someone
had tied my nerves and insides into knots. I was about to go through with the one thing I swore I would never do, until him. I smiled to myself. My heart raced through every panic stricken moment. Every piece of clothing that was placed on me. Every inch covered in white and bright beads. My body vibrated with the itching nerves that fired off. The white pants and soft knee high boots, the weird half skirt that wrapped around my right hip, even the white bodice over a white off-the-shoulder chemise. My hair was pulled back from my face with three braids—one in the back and one on each side with beads and white leather laces in them.

Why are you so nervous?
Marren said in our private way.

“I'm not nervous.”

Okelo looked at me with the other werewolf girl, whose name I didn't remember. Their looks spoke of worry and questioned the stability of my mind. I realized I had spoken aloud.

I smiled. “
Er
...right? This is normal jitters? There's no real reason to feel this way, is there?” Both girls shared a smile and a giggle while Okelo shook her head.

“You two could not be any more perfect for each other. It's probably that you're really anxious and can't wait to belong to him forever,” Okelo said.

Right.
Forever.

I'm not nervous.
I said, to Marren this time.

I can't wait to see you.

A nervous chuckle escaped me. I found myself bouncing a little. The baby kicked her annoyance.

“Careful or you'll bounce right out of your dress,” the other werewolf girl spoke with the edge of a giggle at the end of her words.

“I can't help myself. I'm scared.”

“What for?”
It was Okelo whose brows had furrowed together in the way one’s would while looking at their child who had done something they should have known better than to do.

I opened my mouth to offer some form of explanation but only air escaped and an, “Um...?”

Both girls really got into the giggling this time. I had to admit, even to myself, the idea of me being nervous was a little ridiculous. I’ve already given myself to Marren so completely and irrevocably that this ceremony should only make sense
as
just a small step towards forever with him. A bubble of giddy laughter sprung from my belly and out of my mouth.
Loud and light.

I felt my heart dance knowing Marren was doing the same.

See you soon,
I said.

See you soon,
Marren returned.

With the final burst
of laughter, my body had calmed
and
,
with it
,
a serene peace covered me. 

***

I stood at the entrance to the Circle of Gathering.
A place
where Marren's, and soon my, people gather to celebrate, mourn, pray, and even prepare for battle. It is a place of great importance for the race of therianthropes.
A sacred and special place.

It was formed at the foot of the mountain under Marren's window. It was in a perfectly shaped circle and cleared of everything except a few toppled over tree trunks for benches, stumps for stools, and a large fire pit at the center. Lush green grass covered the ground in soft spikes, only fading as it neared the fire pit, which was blazing with heat and life at that very moment.

All types of races showed for the ceremony. Many of the werewolves were dressed in strange and colorful garb, dancing in rhythmic ways around the fire, with beating drums and the sounds of other instruments. The songs they were singing were lifting and beautiful. It came as a surprise to know only a few people were actually singing, though it sounded as if everyone had joined in.
Absolutely enchanting.

I found the one who was directing the ceremony and then it struck me, the feeling and pull within my heart from the missing piece of my life. I had tried hard not to think of Danst and the gaping hole he left in my heart. He was supposed to be the one to oversee this. My heart sagged as a tear snuck down my cheek. I quickly smacked it away and took a deep breath.

Then my eyes found his.
The deep black orbs that reflected everything—never failing to absorb all within them.
He looked almost worried, but when I found his eyes looking straight at me, I smiled. He smiled back in his brighter than the sun smile that nearly stops my heart every time I see it, even in wolf form. He matched me in the way that he wore white leather. His hair was also pulled back and braided with beads and white leather laces. The designs on his vest, pants and boots were far more detailed and intricate than I could ever describe. The blend of bright colors, blues, reds, yellows, and greens made it difficult to discern one from the other. I'm sure it was a special symbolic thing
for him, even though he could've gone naked and I would have thought he was the most beautiful creature in the world.

The music suddenly changed and I was drawn out from within the sheltering trees towards the center of the circle—towards Marren. He met me half way, taking my hands into his. His eyes filled with love and the distracting reflection of the fire. I couldn't help the blush that came to my cheeks. Marren lifted the back of his fingers, gently touching them, causing all sorts of flux emotions within me. After tucking my hand into the crook of his arm, he led me to the other side of the fire, under the window to our room.

The man in charge spoke a prayer in his native language. The enchanting words danced around me as Marren explained that it was a prayer of blessing, symbolic of a lasting love and bond that would withstand the test of time, even death.
Because that was way of true love.
He did another blessing over the rest of the crowd as he walked around and moved his hands in an up and down motion. I turned back around as our hands were lifted and tied together with a white cloth that was soft as silk and reflected the orange-yellow glow of the fire behind us, shattering it into beams and tiny balls of light. When the man returned to us, he smiled and bowed his head.

A woman approached with an oddly shaped leather flask with two spouts. The man directing the ceremony took the flask and said something in his native tongue. Marren moved our bound hands towards it. I helped him grab it and bring it forward to us.

Drink,
he whispered to my mind.

It was awkward, but sweet in gesture at the same time. When the last drop was done and the flask lowered, a loud silence fell around us. We were beckoned forward then, and a blanket was placed over our shoulders. The man presiding looked at Marren and gestured to him. Marren faced me and grabbed a hold of my other hand. He leaned in, lowered his lips to mine and filled me with such joy and love. I didn't know whether to laugh, cry, or kiss him back. I decided on the latter, stepping closer to him as the hoots and hollers of all the races filled the air.

He pulled away from me slightly and rubbed my upper arm with his free hand. “We did it!”