Heartbreak's Reward (Double Dutch Ranch Series: Love at First Sight Book 2) (14 page)

“Excuse me while I go change.”

She turned and left, but he watched her walk across the room barefooted until she entered the sleeping area, and pushed the door closed. Jase dropped his head into his hands. “What the hell
am
I doing here?” he mumbled. He got up, not sure he could this. “Hey, Brenna, I’m taking off. You don’t need to change.”

She opened the door and peeked around. “Will you make up your damn mind? No! I’ll make it for you. Stay.” She closed the bedroom door.

Jase sat back down, trying to figure out what to do about this woman. Some kind of connection to her said not to let her go. “Dammit,” he whispered.

He lifted his eyes when she came out and took a seat next to him, the same blue cami under a short sleeved shirt, and jeans. She lifted her bare feet to the edge of the coffee table, nails polished the color of peaches, kind of like her lipstick.

Sitting sideways on the sofa, he rested his arm along the back. “I do know why I’m here.”

“Do tell. Maybe when I hear your answer I’ll figure out why I let you in.”

“Was it that difficult?” Her eyes were unreadable. “We spent the evening in my house all alone where no one could hear you scream if you needed to.” He diverted his eyes because he wanted to laugh at his tease, but it sounded awful, and he said he’d keep his bad in control.
Probably not going to happen.

When he looked up at her she was smiling and he let one escape. “You’re waiting for me to tell you, huh?” She nodded. He took her hand as it lay on her lap. “When I drove away I thought I might never see you again.” This was more difficult than he had anticipated. “Brenna…” A deep breath didn’t help. Something he never experienced before, having to explain himself to a woman.

“Jase,” she said, squeezing his hand. “I didn’t plan on not seeing you again, but what you said made me think you’re the one not interested. So, when I asked for Nora’s number I wanted to let you off the hook.”

Shit, I want to be the bait on that hook!
He leaned his head on his arm as it rested along the back of the couch. “Trying to resist you isn’t going to work. I got less than ten minutes away and it was too hard.”
Hard
. Yeah, that way too. “Forever would be impossible. I can’t begin to tell you how silly that sounds in my own head after just meeting you.” Another deep breath. “Maybe I can find time for a woman…
you
.” He ran his fingers up and down her arm, lifting it to peer at a long scar along her tricep, but she pulled her arm away.

She twisted into the corner of the sofa, brought her knees to her chest, facing him. “Maybe? What am I to do? Wait to see if your
maybe
amounts to something? So far tonight I’ve seen a few different men in one. I won’t count the one I met in the parking lot. Which one are you?”

No doubt she was right. His wild emotions were all over the place. He had never expected to be attracted to another woman.
Wishy-washy
. He’d heard that old term before but never when it referred to level-headed Jase. Now he knew the true meaning. Glancing into her eyes, he said, “This is the real one. The one at home in the barn—real. The one walking in the desert holding your hand—the real one. Ice cream cone incident? Yep.”

Brenna entwined their fingers. “Good because those are the ones I liked the most. I’ll deal with the other ones if I have to. I’m familiar with pain and loss and what it can do to a sane soul.”

He clenched her other hand, the warmth of her hands comforting…exciting. It was time.
Give it up, Jase.
Time to move on. “I’ll never stop looking for my kids. When I find them, they’ll live with me.”

“And my sister lives with me until she goes to college. We’re a team.”

He gave her a smile. They were thinking along the same lines. They both came as a packaged deal. Just like with his brother. Peering into her eyes, he didn’t know how it was possible to fall for this woman. They had just met. They had time to learn. But, at this point, he knew that he wanted to. Scooting closer, he reached for her and she met him half way. “This is worth a try, isn’t it? I mean, we just met, but…”

Brenna lowered her legs to the floor and hugged him. She smiled one of the softest and most inviting. Gentle and warm. Understanding in a way. The kind a guy would get lost in. Hell, he already had. He leaned forward and kissed her, easy and caring. Refreshing as if his lips found what they had searched for.

Nothing like he allowed himself back at home, rough and aggressive. Where he could have taken her to bed in a heartbeat, his body responding in a way he had forgotten. When he moved back from her, she hung on and wrapped her arms tighter around him.

Whispering, she said, “I don’t even know you, but I’m glad you came back tonight so I can know you.”

He lowered his hands to her waist and pulled her closer, laying back on the sofa and bringing her partially on top of him.
Whoa, what am I doing
? But he kissed her, running his hands over her back, lower over her tight ass but couldn’t continue touching her like that for fear of losing control. She cuddled against him like she was a kitten needing comfort, her passion hot, and maybe her supple body would go along.

“Mmm…” The feel of a woman in his arms told him how much he missed it, but before he got all crazy, he sat up. Continuing to hold her close, he willed his hard shaft to straighten up. No! It already was—so he willed the opposite.
Go down
. So hard to pull away, but he had to because he was on the verge of…going too far.

“Brenna, thanks for letting me in tonight.” He was out of breath, and whispered close to her ear, “I want to get to know all of you… in time, sweetheart.”

She ringed both hands behind his head and played with the ends of his hair, her fingers against his neck driving him insane. His skin prickled as if being cold. He took her hands from behind his neck.

“Your fervor is exciting and I’m about to lose control of myself. Don’t encourage me.” Jase peered into her eyes and passion burned within his soul. “I’ll leave you with that because I can’t promise it won’t go any further if I stay.”

“Against my will?” She leaned forward, kissing him with heated lips.

Her fire was so intense. “Do you need to ask?” Jase cupped her face, tilted her head and leaned in for another kiss. “In reality—I feel your passion everywhere in my body.” He kissed her again. “Now I have to go home and take a cold shower.
Never
against your will, woman.”

Brenna fell back against the corner of the sofa.

“For now, I have to say good night.” He wanted to experience this woman’s desire. Her thighs spread for him. With her heated passion, maybe she wanted him, too. Which made it a hundred times harder to walk away. He had to be the man he was raised to be, but he’d been alone too long and his body craved a woman’s touch.

His gaze followed her as she stood and walked toward the kitchenette, took a glass and opened the fridge. Brenna was so beautiful. He closed his eyes and shook his head.

“I need some iced tea.” Brenna poured a glass and offered one to him but he refused. Leaning against the small counter, she crossed her legs at the ankle. Lifting her chin with the air of confidence, she said, “You may think I’m an easy catch and might not think twice about falling into your bed. It’s possible and likely, in time, but, Jase please know…I’ve never given myself to any man, and I won’t to just anyone.”

Jase gulped and his eyelashes fluttered involuntarily. “What?” She had her own secret. Had he heard her right? He stood and went into the kitchen, taking the glass from her hand for a drink. “What did you say?” He gulped again. “Let me rephrase that. Do you mean what I think you mean? You’re a virgin?”

“You heard me right.” She took her glass from him and stared boldly into his eyes. “I’m not ashamed of it.”

“I would hope not.” This is a bold woman in many ways, yet… untouched. Pure. Not afraid of disclosing her recent news. “Thank you for telling me, darlin’.” Her passion burned out of control, but she was filled with strength.

“This changes things, huh?” She lifted the glass for a drink.

Her sensuous lips against the rim excited him and even more when she sucked an ice cube into her mouth. He brought her in closer. With a deep groan, and an erection like one he hadn’t had in a long time, he said, “I want that ice cube.”

He kissed her, thrusting his tongue between her lips, sliding it against the ice cube until she pushed it into his mouth. “Mmmm, that was sexy as hell.” God almighty! He took her chin between his thumb and forefinger. “What you told me has no effect whatsoever on…how I care about you—only that...” No, he couldn’t say it to her. Couldn’t say it only changed the way he’d behave the first time. Now he wanted her even more. And he wanted to be the first one, her only one.
Where did all that come from?

“What is it, Jase?”

He shook his head back and forth. “Not to worry.” Jase winked, wanting her to know he genuinely cared. He took her hand, walked back to the living room and sat on the sofa. Jase hauled her down beside him. She stretched her legs out, again resting her feet against the coffee table. Her pant leg was higher than before. It was a scar and the only view was the very end or beginning. Reaching to her leg, he ran his finger over it, pushing her pant leg higher, but she grabbed his hand.

“No.”

“You’re scarred, Brenna.” He took her arm and straightened it out, taking another look at the scar on the back. “What happened to you?”

“Jase…” She covered her face with her hands. “Don’t ask. I don’t want you to see them,” she said, her voice quivering. “I-I, I can’t show them.”

“Come here.” He wrapped her in his embrace. “It’s okay. Your scars won’t scare me away.” She turned into his chest, her hands still covering her face. He knew there was more to it than markings on her body. Right now she had to be seeing the reason for them. Jase took her arms and sat back, dragging her onto his lap. She laid her head on his shoulder. He caressed her arm, his fingers touching her tenderly. He pulled her close against him and lay on the sofa beside her.

“No, Jase, let me go.” She struggled to get away.

“Shhh, I’m not going to hurt you. Let me hold you, that’s all. Okay?” He lowered his voice. “Don’t fear me, Brenna. Let me hold you?”

Her body relaxed and she cuddled into him. All he wanted to do was comfort her. Surfacing was a side of him he had locked away and now he lay close against a body he needed, and he took her into his arms. He wrapped his leg around hers and moved closer.

“You’re not alone, you’re safe.” Sobs racked her shoulders now, the front of his shirt wet from her tears. He whispered, “It’s okay.”

Closing his eyes, he savored this moment of having her complete body against him and he enjoyed her warmth while he could. With no idea of where any of this came from, he continued to hold her and would for as long as she needed him to.

He was whole again.

***

Sometime later, Jase woke with a woman in his arms. Brenna stirred. He looked around, getting his bearings before peering at his watch.
My horses
. She caressed his back and he arched closer, her touch sending him to a place he needed to be. He peered into her eyes and leaned on one elbow. “I have to get home to my horses. I gave the ranch hands the night off.”

“I understand.” She reached for his hand and held it against her chest. “What you did tonight…I don’t know how to say thank you for being here. Still, I have no idea where all that came from and I’m sorry.”

He gingerly stroked the side of her face. “Why be sorry? We both have our own demons, it seems.”

“But…I have never done this—shown another person this side of me. I’ve kept it all locked up.” Brenna attempted to sit up and Jase stood to give her room. “I even told you something I’ve never told anyone. Never cried on another man’s shoulder.” She scooted to the edge of the couch.

He straddled her from behind, spreading his legs around her and wrapped her up in him. “I feel proud that you confided in me.” Jase closed his eyes and visualized how they looked here together, and he liked it. He’d like it too if neither of them had on clothes. He drew her closer if possible and kissed the side of her neck. “I have to go. Can I call you later?”

Brenna leaned into his chest and he rested his cheek atop her head. “I’d like that.” She got up and Jase stood beside her.

“You trusting me like this means more than you know.” Her silent pain was something he didn’t know how to fix. As he stated last night—he couldn’t resist her, pain and all. Those words were truer now than when he had said them. “And, Brenna? I see now that you raising your sister
is
my business and we’ll talk about it later. You go back to sleep and I’ll see myself out. I know my hat’s around here somewhere.”

She pointed and chuckled. “It’s right there on the coffee table. I’ll walk you to the door.”

He ran his fingers through his tousled hair before putting his hat on. He turned and gripped her shoulders. “Hey, how come you don’t have to go to the dealership? Did it fix itself?”

Brenna laughed. “I believe I had a moment.” She glanced away. “It’s fine. I even mapped out a route to the ranch for practice.”

“Now you know how to get there.” Jase gave a subtle grin. “It’d be sensational if you visited all on your own.” He lowered his hands to her waist. “I have to check those horses.” Leaning into her, he gave a soft kiss. “I didn’t mean to scare you last night when I laid beside you. Guess I knew nothing was going to happen. Should’ve told you first.” Another kiss and he released her. “Take care.”

She grabbed his hand when he turned to go. “Good night, Jase Carlson. The real one.”

He winked and went out the door. Taking his time walking down the hallway, he looked back toward her door once, and smiled. He took the stairs instead of the elevator. At his truck he peered up at the third floor. Chills traveled down his back, hit his toes and bounced back, settling in places he liked while keeping him in a high state of arousal. He was back. The man he used to be…was back. Jase grinned when he hopped into his truck.