Authors: Joanna Sellick
‘If I close my eyes, will you stay?’ I whisper. I feel Alex’s
chest fall and rise quickly as he chuckles, running a hand through my hair.
‘You know I can’t do that,’ he replies, just as softly.
‘Goodbye, Neve. Don’t forget me, okay?’
‘I won’t, I promise. Goodbye, Alex,’ I reply, squeezing my eyes
tightly and gripping his jacket fiercely. Alex traces a finger along my jaw
line, drawing my chin up so that our lips meet.
Alex kisses me ever so gently, yet with a passion that has me
bursting to life inside, little empty vessels filling up with love and promise.
The kiss is life itself, and all the good things that come with it.
I move my hands to tangle them in his hair and pull him closer
to me and he presses me tighter against him.
In that moment, everything is perfect. Everything is real.
All good things end though, and when I eye open my eyes, Alex is
nothing more than another memory. I lift my fingers up to my lips and gently
touch them, the tingle of Alex’s presence still resonating there.
I turn back to the grave, my gaze landing on my sketch, and I
begin to beam, my smile wide.
Alex loved me
.
Even though I know it’s my imagination that’s just conjured him
up, he felt so real. He felt so much like Alex. Something in me finally feels
complete, and I leave the graveyard feeling warm and fuzzy inside.
Alex loves me
.
There’s something else though, a sense of closure that I’ve
never had the chance to experience before. For once, I feel like I can really
start moving on, I can start letting myself really feel again.
Absently, I decide I should really be heading back to Charlie’s,
or even Blake’s, but some unknown force pulls me in the opposite direction and
I just flow with it.
It takes me a moment to realise where I am, and with a start I
begin to see the structure of the old bridge I’d met Jay on start to come into
view. I pause, a familiar presence starting to build up around me again.
The shadows are thicker around here than on the main road
because of the trees and buildings. One of the shadows seems to a have a more
human shape than the others though, with almost green eyes and a light brownish-tint
to the hair.
The figure smiles, and I smile back, giving Jay a small wave of
the hand. Jay winks before falling into shadow again, like smoke in the wind.
With him gone, I have a clearer view of the bridge, and a much fuller figure
comes into view, feet frozen to the railing and a shaking hand clutching the
lamppost next to it.
Instead of screaming at the figure and telling the boy to get
down, I calmly walk over in his direction, already knowing what to do. I can
still feel the presence of Jay with me, and I let him guide me.
The boy doesn’t even seem to notice me, too wrapped up in his
own thoughts.
In the moonlight, I can see the boy appears to be my age, with
golden, curling hair. The rest of him is a mystery though as he has his back turned
to me. Very softly, so not to startle him, I speak into the night.
‘You know, jumping won’t solve anything,’ I utter quietly.
Even with my soft tone, the boy jumps and whips round, his hazel
eyes widening in surprise.
‘What?’ he retorts, his voice full of confusion.
‘Jumping,’ I clarify. ‘It won’t solve anything. Well maybe for
you it will, you’ll be dead. But for the other people around you, the ones who
care even though you don’t realise it, it’ll only be the beginning of their
problems.’
‘What do you know?’ the boy replies, his glare turning icy. I
give him a half smile.
‘More than you realise,’ I smirk. ‘What’s your name?’
The boy doesn’t say anything, he just stares at me with those
intense eyes.
‘Fine,’ I say eventually, realising I’m not going to get
anything out of him. ‘How about we make a deal? Give me two weeks to change
your mind. Two weeks, and then you can do whatever you like,’ I prompt, nodding
my head towards the bridge.
The boy still says nothing, he doesn’t even move.
I shrug. ‘Don’t say I didn’t try,’ I sigh, turning on my heels
and slowly walking away.
For a moment, I fear he won’t take the bait, but then I hear
footsteps hurrying up beside me.
‘Toby,’ I hear a voice say, and I stop my walking and turn
around to face the boy from the bridge. He regards me carefully, keeping his
distance and folding his arms defensively across his chest. ‘My name is Toby.’
Is this what I looked like when Jay found me? So helpless and
alone and desperate for someone to even acknowledge my existence? Because
that’s what’s written all over Toby’s face.
I smile.
‘Neve,’ I say by way of introduction. I start walking forward
again and Toby follows after me. To his surprise, I loop an arm through his,
not feeling in the least bit uncomfortable in what I am doing. ‘Tell me
something Toby,’ I begin, a smile playing on my lips.
The evening is calm, yet the air seems to be filling up with
anticipation. I don’t know this boy, but I won’t let him throw away his life.
Just like Jay did with me. Second chances are a funny thing.
I turn my head towards Toby and he raises his gaze, ready to
listen to what I have to say. I smile again, letting the words fall out of my
mouth without a second thought.
‘Have you ever heard the story of a boy called Jay Ellsworth,
and a girl he liked to call Red?’