Here for You (16 page)

“I’m sure,” Cole answered distractedly.

Walking toward the living room, he paused at the picture of them on the wall. They had their arms about each other. The picture was from last Christmas, all of them in dopey red Santa hats, a little sloshed on eggnog. His gaze zeroed in on Brendan.

“You should have told me,” he accused.

He’d never accomplished much in his life outside of this house. It was his safe haven, his home. The one true thing he’d built. Only now, Cole realized, things went on here that he’d been oblivious to. He’d tricked his eyes to see only what he wanted, and he’d wanted them all to be brothers, but life was more complicated than that.

Cole’s thoughts turned to Ian. He smiled for the first time.
Brendan hadn’t been in love
with Ian.
He didn’t know what Brendan’s feelings for River were, if he reciprocated his love or not, but he knew Brendan must have been done with Ian to turn elsewhere. Relief poured through him like honey.

For the first time, Cole could go to Ian and not be consumed with guilt. He’d been beyond shocked in the car listening to River, and that fact hadn’t fully computed then.

“Cole? Come on back to the kitchen,” Marc called. “Have some dessert.”

“I’m going out,” Cole called back.

“What?” Marc appeared in the doorway. “No. Come on. Tomas couldn’t be here. It’s River’s homecoming. You
can’t
leave.”

Cole followed him back. As much as he longed to run out the door, he knew their household hung by a tenuous thread, and so there was absolutely no question that he’d stay with them. He was needed there. He would eat Marc’s cake and make small talk for tonight. But tomorrow he planned to get his real dessert.

T
HE
NEXT
day Cole stood at Ian’s office. It was early, barely eight, and Ian’s car was parked outside. Unlike most days, Cole couldn’t sleep in, his normal body clock fighting with his adrenaline. He nervously licked his lips. All the feelings inside him ready to burst.

He knocked on the outer door and heard Ian’s gruff “Come in.”

Nobody was at the small reception area, so Cole went to Ian’s office. Ian sat in a plush leather chair behind his big executive desk. He rose to his feet.

“You won’t believe what I found out last night!” Cole greeted him.

He began to walk quickly toward Ian, who was now walking toward him equally fast. He expected Ian to ask questions or share whatever he had to tell Cole. But instead, Ian didn’t speak at all. Ian crushed his mouth to Cole’s.

The kiss made Cole’s head spin and his heart beat in his chest. There was nothing to stop them now or to regret. Cole let out a light laugh against Ian’s lips.

“What?” Ian asked softly. He smiled, his eyes crinkling in the corners.

Cole placed his hand at Ian’s collarbone. His skin was so warm. Cole craved this: touch, contact, tenderness. A small whimper escaped his throat. “Ian.”

Cole could smell the faint scent of his cologne, but mostly he smelled Ian’s own scent, familiar, tantalizing. He breathed it in.

“What did you come to tell me?”

“Oh, right.” Cole pulled away, a smile on his face. Ian could make him forget his own name. “River is back, as you know. And he told me some things about him and Brendan. It turns out that they were involved.”

Ian raised his eyebrows. “Oh. How do you feel about that?”

“I don’t know…. Confused. Happy about it freeing us up. But angry too.”

“Why angry?”

“Maybe angry is the wrong word.” Cole moved away. He sat down in Ian’s giant office chair. “It’s just, if you’d asked me before all this, I’d have said with confidence I knew everything about Brendan. That we were honest with each other too. And I can’t help wondering….”

“What?”

“If you can ever really know somebody at all?” Cole hesitated, gripping the edge of Ian’s desk. “I suppose I know why he kept it quiet. River is pretty private about things. Plus I must have made bringing it up uncomfortable for Brendan.”

“You? Why?”

“Whenever Brendan and I speculated about Tomas and Marc and why those two just didn’t admit their feelings for each other already, I’d tell Brendan that I wanted things to never change. That I liked our household exactly as it was.” Cole rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore. Can we go and get something to eat? Hey, what did you want to tell me before? Something about Brendan?”

“Oh… nothing. I took care of it.”

“If you say so.”

Cole suddenly noticed the state of Ian’s desk. It was cluttered. He looked questioningly at Ian. “I thought you always kept this place spotless.”

“I’ve been putting this off, but I need a replacement. My files are piled sky-high. And I don’t have time for this. I have to focus on my briefs.”

“I’ll focus on those for you.”

“Ha. I wish I could laugh, but my sense of humor must be crushed under those files.”

Cole felt like a selfish ass. All he’d done lately was push Ian away and struggle through his own feelings and confusion. Cole saw now how stressed and tired Ian looked. “So? Let’s work on it.”

“What about getting some food first?”

“We can eat later. Let me help you. I want to.”

There was silence. Then Ian said, “All right. Thank you.”

“Shut up. You don’t have to thank me.” Cole shot Ian an almost shy smile. “That’s what friends are for.”

“I hope we’re more than friends,” Ian said, his deep voice getting lower. He licked his lower lip and took a step toward Cole.

Cole took a step toward Ian. “You know we are.” He pressed Ian to him, hugging him fiercely. Ian initially seemed surprised, but soon hugged Cole back. His embrace felt damn good. “I’m sorry I’ve been running away. I won’t do it anymore,” Cole whispered.

They got to work, filing and sorting a month’s worth of Ian’s papers. Ian’s office only held one picture. It was of a smiling older woman. Cole assumed it was his mother, although he was surprised that she was posing in a garden of wildflowers. He would have pictured a Stark family picture in front of some formal house or somewhere elegant, not surrounded by nature.

“My aunt Iris. My first initial is in honor of her. The
I
in Ian. She was around a great deal,” Ian said but offered nothing more.

Cole didn’t know a whole lot about the law, but he could appreciate how well written and analytical Ian’s notes were. Not that it surprised him. He’d seen Ian cut directly into the core of people’s bullshit with those laser-like blue eyes and dry wit, and so it came as little shock that Ian also cut right into complex legal entanglements too. Cole even liked the way Ian answered his phone, always saying “Stark” in a brisk, no-nonsense voice.

What surprised Cole as they sorted through the files was how Ian stopped to explain things and actually asked Cole’s thoughts. He didn’t treat Cole like some nobody or uneducated ignoramus, which had always been a sore spot with Cole. No, Ian treated him as if his opinion were valuable. Cole used to have guys chasing him for his looks, never had one also tried to engage him on other levels. Ian didn’t even object when Cole raised a few questions on his older cases. Ian only let him see those as he filed. Ian put the open case files in his own pile to sort. But even the closed cases involving the family law issues were fascinating to Cole. Ian was at ease and self-contained as he explained his answers. Cole enjoyed their give-and-take, much more than he’d expected. And it left him confused and wanting more.

Ian told him about his background too as they worked. He’d gone to Princeton and then back home for law school. He had made Law Review but didn’t really enjoy it. His family urged him toward torts, but he resisted that too. Ian was matter-of-fact about it, but Cole sensed he’d waged a quiet war with his family to follow his own path. He could only imagine how formidable the Stark family was, if Ian was any indication.

Admitting to himself how much he relished helping Ian and talking to him, was a bit much for Cole, and he quickly switched gears as soon as they were done, hiding his feelings with a careless smile and a joke.

“Okay. Fucking finally. That’s done.” Cole glanced at Ian’s wall clock. “I’m famished, I think I have a paper cut, and I have definitely decided I never want to be a lawyer. Do you still want to go to lunch? At this point it’s almost dinner.”

Ian laughed. “I promise I’ll feed you. And I have Band-Aids too.”

“We could go to the beach with some sandwiches? We could make it a late picnic lunch?”

“The beach? It’s a Wednesday.”

“Yeah, Ian, I know it’s a Wednesday.” Cole rolled his eyes. “What does that matter?”

“Well, um, it doesn’t. Normally I go to the beach on the weekends. And it’s a workday.” Ian gave a self-conscious tug at his collar. “And I sound like a stuffy old man. Forget what I just said. What’s the point of being your own boss if you can’t take a long lunch on the beach sometimes?” He gave Cole’s fingers a light squeeze. “I think we should go.”

“I agree.” Cole squeezed his fingers back. “I’ve had enough of sadness. Let’s have some fun.”

“Fun it is.”

W
HEN
THEY
arrived, lugging their blankets and a cooler full of food, the beach was fairly quiet. It was pretty hot, the sand scorching if they were to take off their flip-flops, but the ocean looked welcoming, the water clear. Ian could see the sand underneath it. The waves were perfect, rough enough to enjoy, but not super-rough. Ian bet the water temperature was perfect too. He wished he were as certain about withholding the information about Brendan’s brother and his search for him. Ian felt as if Cole was still fragile—getting stronger, but maybe not ready to hear about Brendan’s secrets just yet.

Ian handed Cole the towels and then bent to spread out a big blanket. He made sure each corner had a shoe or something weighing it down so that it wouldn’t fly away. It wasn’t terrifically windy, but there was more breeze there on the shore than there had been in town. It was a warm summer breeze that actually felt good on his skin with the hot sun. As he straightened, he saw the heat in Cole’s gaze. A warm feeling came over Ian at Cole’s open approval as his gaze lowered to skim over Ian’s body. Ian had never felt this wanted before.

With Sam, when they’d finally decided to go from friends to more, sex had been far down on the list of what kept them together. Sam certainly never made Ian want it with simply a look. Ian moved to Cole’s side, pulled him in, and kissed him.

Cole shuddered in his arms as they locked lips, and when the kiss ended, he smiled widely at Ian.

“Wow.” Cole trailed his fingers over Ian’s chest.

“Want to eat first or swim?” Ian smiled.

“Swim. Otherwise I might get a cramp. Not to mention, you’ve got me needing to cool off.” Cole’s eyes sparkled. He pressed his erection at Ian’s thigh. Then he turned, yanked off his tank top, and ran for the water. Ian was quickly at his heels.

They dived under the salty water, emerging before a wave knocked them gently back, and splashed each other playfully. Ian spotted a sailboat in the distance, but otherwise the sea belonged to them. He floated a little on his back, his feet up. He’d forgotten how free the ocean made him feel. Ian had moved from his hometown in Indiana to Florida partly because he dreamed of living by the water. But he worked so much that the days blended into one another, and sometimes entire months went by and he didn’t come to the beach. That struck him as a hugely stupid now. Silently he vowed to come more often. Cole wasn’t the only one who needed some more fun in his life.

Cole swam closer to him, bobbing up and down with the waves. “What’re you thinking about?”

Ian didn’t answer for a moment, as they rose up and over another wave, riding it together. “I was remembering coming to Florida from Indiana. How I love the ocean.”

“Me too.” Cole cocked his head. “What brought you all the way to Florida?”

Ian grinned suddenly. “You really want to know?”

“I asked, didn’t I?”

“I impulsively followed my boyfriend at the time. We broke up right afterward. But I was never sorry.”

“Why, Ian, that’s sort of romantic and unpredictable.” Cole laughed. “I wouldn’t have thought you had that sort of impulse in you.”

“Wouldn’t you?” Ian murmured. He swam closer, letting their wet torsos touch. He pressed his lips to the side of Cole’s neck, gently licking away the salt.

Cole immediately hooked his legs over Ian’s hips so that Ian was supporting both their weights. They rode the waves, kissing softly. Ian nibbled a path from Cole’s neck to his earlobe. He glided his tongue over the delicate shell of Cole’s ear.

Cole moaned slightly. His hands grasped Ian’s back. “You make me feel so good,” he whispered.

Ian shifted his hands. He held Cole just under his tight ass. Cole’s long legs were still wrapped at Ian’s waist.

He glided over a wave with Cole in his arms and then settled his mouth over Cole’s for another kiss. After a while they let go, simply floating in the water, holding hands. Ian shut his eyes, coasting easily over the waves, his fingers locked with Cole’s.

“I’m getting hungry.”

“We can go back to my place.” Ian nearly growled out the words. He was hard and throbbing for Cole.

“For food.” Cole treaded the water. His eyes glinted with humor. “And I want that too. But feed me first.”

Ian waited a few extra minutes as Cole got out. He swam a little, letting his hard-on ease. Cole opened the cooler and set out the food. When he was done, he smiled and waved at Ian.

Ian’s heart turned over. He loved to see Cole so happy. He pushed through the current trying to take him farther out and swam back to shore to join him.

“We have turkey or roast beef?”

“Turkey, please.” Ian flopped down on the blanket beside Cole. They wouldn’t be able to stay too much longer, not with the summer sun broiling down, but for now, they were both cool and wet from the sea. Ian bit into his sandwich, chewing heartily. “The beach makes me famished. No matter if I swim or simply sit in a chair. Doesn’t matter.”