Hidden Barriers (18 page)

Josh places soft kisses along my neck before looking at me. “Sam, that was...that was…”

“That was so much better than candy,” I finish for him, trying to lighten the post-sex awkward talk.
“Ah ha! I knew it! You lied about the cake,” he retorts.

“Of course, I did. It’s not all about the sweets with me, you know,” I say, playfully slapping his arm.

As he’s about to pull away and out of me, my bedroom door opens quickly and both of our heads fly in that direction. Damn it. I forgot to lock that thing.

Lucy walks in while looking down at her cell phone. “Hey, Sam, let’s get a move on it. We’ve got practice and the photoshoot in an hour,” she says as I try to maneuver to grab any clothing possibly able to cover my naked form before she looks up.

Too late. The minute she turns off her phone she’s halfway inside my room, and her eyes fixate on the mess of naked bodies in front of her.

“Oh my God! My eyes! My eyes!” Lucy shouts before running for the door and slamming it shut behind her.

I look up at Josh who’s now laughing silently. “Oh, you think this is funny, do you?”

Before he has a chance to respond, a knock sounds on the door. Not again. The door opens slightly as Lucy’s voice sounds from the other side. “Hey, Sam?”

“Yeah, Luce?”

“It’s about freakin’ time you banged that hot piece of cop ass, but can you get ready so we can go to derby practice? I’ve got to do the girls’ hair and makeup for the poster pics.”

“Give me fifteen minutes, and I’ll meet you downstairs,” I tell her before the door shuts.

Josh remains inside me, still laughing. “What are you laughing at?” I ask him.

“Oh, just that all your roommates seem to love me.”

“Don’t let it go to your head.”

“Too late, sugar. Plus, there’s only one girl in this house I want,” he says huskily.

“Well, I’m seriously hoping you mean me, ‘cuz it would really be awkward if you wanted Kim.”

“Hey, I’ve been known to turn girls.”

“Why does that not surprise me?”

I finally make my way back to the townhouse. Nick will be at work for a while longer, so I have the place to myself. Sam will be doing derby related stuff for the rest of the day and working at the bar all weekend, so I won’t be able to spend another night like last night with her for some time.

Once we finally pried ourselves from her sheets, I didn’t want to let her go. I honestly could have stayed wrapped up in her body forever. Her soft giggles and playful banter keep me mesmerized whenever I am with her. Despite her troubled past and the constant reminder of what her ex-boyfriend nearly did to her, she has allowed me inside her walls.

Me.

Why she suddenly decided I would be the one to bridge that gap, I have no idea. Am I glad she chose me? Fuck, yeah. I’ve spent way too long focused on the past. I need to finally see my future, and I want Sam in it.

The first step in making sure my past stays in the past is to be completely honest with Sam about the girls I used for years in order to forget about the love I pushed away. I really have no idea how she will handle the news, but as much as I know I should have told her before we had sex earlier, I couldn’t.

I only know I need to do what’s right for once. In just two short months since I ran into Sam, she’s made me change. That just doesn’t happen. Ever. I’ve never settled on one girl, not since Sue.

As I head down the stairs toward the kitchen, I continue to think of all the things I need to do in order to start moving in the right direction. Grabbing a cold beer from the fridge and some leftover pasta from the other night, I sit at the kitchen table and turn on my phone for the first time since this morning.

After a few bites of pasta, my phone starts buzzing furiously, alerting me of a number of incoming messages. Thankfully, I know I haven’t missed any calls for work order-ins since I keep that phone in my coat, and no matter what, it is always on.

I listen to a number of voicemails from Mom about Jeremy coming home today and how it would be nice if I come over to see him. I laugh at the thought. Yeah, okay, Mom. Jeremy hasn’t been home in two months, and you think I’m the one he wants to see. He’ll be pissed to no end if the family impedes on his
alone
time with Emily. I’ll be keeping my distance until I know he’s had his fill of that girl. Of course, that may never happen.

A couple of texts from Courtney tells me the same thing. Another one from her asks about Sunday dinner. Evidently, Sue will be there with Dave, and it will be nice to have
everyone
at the table for once. I’ll consider it. I know I need to talk to Sue in order to make things right after all these years. I just don’t exactly know the right words to say. “I’m sorry” doesn’t seem to cut it.

I send a quick text to Jeremy, telling him I won’t be over today, but good luck with the family taking over his time with Emily. I mention that I’ll catch up with him sometime this weekend when I’m not working or he isn’t practicing with the hockey team.

Just as I hit
Send
, another text comes in. I have to do a double take at the name. Tarryn.

What do you mean we’re done? You know you can’t live without me. Come over and I’ll show you.

Seriously, this chick spreads her legs for anyone. It’s not as though she has any claim to me. If I tell her not to contact me, then we’re done with the arrangement. That’s it. End of story. I respond one last time, hoping she gets the idea through her thick redheaded ass.

We’re done means just as it says. Don’t text me. I won’t be over again.

That just about sums it up. I can’t make it any clearer for her than if I said it to her face.

A couple of minutes later, I’m finishing up and placing my dirty dish into the dishwasher when Nick comes through the front door. He catches sight of me as I move around in the kitchen before he drops his workbag near the living room.

“Dude! Where the hell were you last night? I saw the mess of towels and clothing lying around upstairs and didn’t know what happened,” Nick rambles as he makes his way into the kitchen. I grab another couple of beers from the fridge, handing him one as I go to sit at the table again. After rubbing my fingers over the back of my neck, I use the bottle opener to pop the cap off my beer. I take a long pull and glance up at Nick as I toss him the bottle opener for his
own beer.

Nick leans against the counter as he tosses the bottle cap into the trash, quietly waiting for me to give him any bit of information that might help him with his curiosity. I can’t tell him the whole story about Sam’s past, but I can certainly give him details regarding the before and after. If I don’t, I know he’ll pry, and the last thing I need right now is to be grilled with questions by another cop.

I head into the living room, where it is more comfortable, as Nick follows behind me. Plopping myself onto the cushioned sofa, I rest my bare feet upon the coffee table to relax. Nick sits opposite me while turning on the professional hockey game on television, keeping it muted so we can talk.

“So, I’m dying to know how your night went yesterday. Spill the beans, asshole. Which one did you bang? The redheaded bitch or that hot piece of ass you’re all gaga over these days?”

Shit. There’s no denying this one. Lying isn’t an option; he’ll see right through me. I chug the beer that’s still half full and place it onto the table before I say the words that make me nauseous just thinking of what I did. “Both,” I utter softly. “Before you go to ask your next question, no, I’m not seeing the redhead
ever
again, and I need you to do a little investigative work for me.”

“Okay, I’m listening. What kind of investigative work?”

“Are you working tomorrow?” I ask.

“Yeah, why?”

“I may need you to check if a restraining order is still open.”

“What the fu—”

“No! Don’t. I just need you to do it and not ask any questions.”

“Who’s it filed under?” Nick asks suspiciously.

“Samantha Daley.”

“Will you stop it with the makeover, Lucy?” I scold as she continues to primp, tease, and apply shimmer. She has my hair curled and teased in some crazy ass updo with too much hairspray and pins, and I am afraid to move my face, for fear the glitter around my eyes will blind me. “Seriously, this is way too much for the photo shoot. It’s just the derby poster. It’s not like anyone important is going to see it,” I say as I suck back my water through a straw because I’m scared to mess up my lipstick.

“Sam, how can you say that? You have been chosen as the face of the C-Naughties this year. You will be all over the place, and with this look…well…this look is much better than what I witnessed this morning,” Lucy divulges.

Coach Dee walks over with the rest of team as Lucy finishes her statement. “What did you witness this morning?” she probes Lucy after hearing her last comment.

Lucy continues with her finishing touches on my makeup as she laughs. I give her a scouring look, silently telling her not to say a word, but she, being the open book she is, doesn’t grasp my silent plea. Lucy turns to Dee and says, “You know, a little of this and a little of that. Oh, and I might have walked in on Sam having sex with her hottie boy toy, too.”

A series of squeals and gasps sound from around me. Before I have a chance to chastise Lucy for making my life an open book, I’m surrounded by the team who stares me down while waiting for answers.

“Really, guys, it’s nothing. Let’s just get to the photo shoot and then practice for the opening day bout,” I suggest, trying to avoid having this conversation with the entire room. Sex is something private for me. I’m not a prude by any stretch of the imagination, but I’m not one to sit and discuss the circumstances behind my sexual exploration this morning either.

What happened between Josh and me was special and private. I’m not ready to share him yet. I just got him, and although there is so much unknown between us, I’m willing to work toward opening up myself to him. He pushes something inside me to fight through the barriers I have kept up for far too long. He warms my soul and makes me smile like I haven’t done in a long time.

Lucy’s voice breaks my thoughts of Josh’s hardened body covering mine this morning. I fan my face with the team’s playbook I’ve been studying while she’s been working her magic on my hair. “Are you mad I blabbed the news, Sam?” Lucy mutters.