His Ever After (Love Square) (30 page)

I nod and walk back into her room. Emma is reading the paper to Kara quietly, so I sit in the chair next to her and close my eyes. I pinch the bridge of my nose and try to channel some positivity. If she doesn’t wake up today, there is always tomorrow. I just need to keep telling myself that.

***

“Jacob! She’s awake!” Emma says enthusiastically in my face as my eyes slowly open. Her hands are shaking my shoulders.

I jump from the chair that I fell asleep in and step up next to Kara’s bed. Her eyes are open and scanning the area, when they land on me, they warm and my heart squeezes in hope.

“Sunshine. You’re awake! I’m so glad you’re back. I missed those beautiful eyes of yours,” I whisper before placing a kiss to her cheek. My hand wraps around hers, and I’m delighted when she squeezes it.

“I’m going to go get a nurse,” Emma says and pats my arm before leaving the room.

“Wha –” her words are low and raspy. I put my finger over her lips to stop her.

“You had a breathing tube in. Your throat is going to hurt for a while. Let’s wait until the doctor checks you out before you try talking.” When they took her out of the drug-induced coma, and she started breathing on her own, I just about fell to my knees and kissed the doctor’s feet.

The next hour is filled with activity as nurses and doctors file in and out of the room. Emma and I step out while Kara is examined and start making phone calls. Kara’s parents were unable to fly in to be with her. I can’t imagine how hard it must be for them to be halfway across the country and worrying. I know how hard it was for me to be in the same room as her and worrying. Her mom is terrified of flying, and her dad couldn’t get enough time off work in order to drive from Colorado, so we’ve been keeping them updated every day.

I took another leave of absence from work to be by her side. There was never a question of me leaving her, my Captain knew it. He looked proud of me when I laid it out for him. I’m not planning on going back until after Kara is back to herself, one hundred percent. I’ll use Brooke’s trust fund to pay any medical bills or other expenses that need to be covered. I’m fairly sure she’d want the money to go to helping Kara out.

My dad has been staying at Emma’s, helping John out with the girls, so that she could be here with me. The only time I ever left Kara’s side was when I knew Emma was watching over her. I’m grateful that she was able to put her life on hold for me.

When we are finally cleared to go back inside, Emma holds my hand as we take in the sight of Kara. She is propped up in the bed, looking at us. Her eyes are wary, but it is so damned good to see color in her cheeks again.

“I’m so glad you’re awake,” Emma says giving Kara a loose hug, not wanting to hurt her. It’s been almost three weeks, but the more badly bruised parts of her body are probably still tender.

“Thanks,” Kara rasps out quietly.

I pick up the cup filled with water and hold the straw to her mouth. Kara sips slowly. When she settles back into her pillow, Emma makes her excuses and leaves us alone. I can’t thank my sister enough for holding me up during the last few weeks. I surely would have broken under the weight of it all if she hadn’t been there.

“Do you mind if I climb into bed with you?” I ask, needing to be close to her but not wanting to overstep my bounds.

She nods her head and pats the bed next to her. I take off my shoes and climb up next to her. I put my arm behind her head and she curls into me. God, it feels so good to have her back.

I kiss her hair and do nothing but enjoy the silence, and the feel of her pressed against me. I know we need to talk, but I’m going to let her set the pace for that conversation.

The light streaming through the open blinds has me stirring. I open my eyes to see Kara staring back at me.

“I have to go to the bathroom,” she whispers, looking uncomfortable telling me that.

“Whatever you need, Sunshine.” I kiss her forehead and set about getting her IV stand ready before lifting her out of the bed and carrying her into the bathroom. I set her on the toilet and move to stand on the other side of the door. “I’ll be right here when you’re done. Don’t try to stand. You are going to need some therapy for your knee and I don’t want it to give out on you.”

When she calls out that she is finished, I help her to the sink, so she can wash her hands. When she’s ready, I lift her back into my arms and bring her and her IV pole back to bed. Once she is comfortable, I sit on the edge of the bed and drink in the sight of her. She’s awake, and she remembers me. My heart sighs in contentment.

“Tell me what happened,” her voice brings my attention in focus. “I remember most of it. I know I blacked out, though.”

“Cory attacked you while we were on the phone. I called for a patrol unit, who was closer than me to go looking for you. When I got to the scene, the ambulance was already there working on you. They caught the bastard and he is going to rot in prison.” I debate telling her that he was the serial killer. I don’t want to hide anything from her though, and she is bound to find out eventually.

“Remember the serial killer we talked about?” Her soft agreement has me proceeding cautiously. “Turns out Cory was the guy we’ve been looking for.”

Her eyes widen and she visibly cringes. I maneuver myself, so we’re lying in bed together again. “He can’t hurt you anymore,” I whisper in her ear.

“Jacob, did he… was he able to…” Her voice trails off, and I know what she is trying to ask. The fear and pain in her voice makes me want to find Cory and beat him in return. I hope that fucker gets raped in prison, so he knows what the torture he put these women through feels like.

“No. The doctor said everything looked okay and you weren’t raped.” I feel her relax in my arms, so I gather her closer.

“I missed you,” I murmur as I kiss each of her closed eyelids. She tells me that she missed me too, before burrowing even closer to me.

“Jacob?”

“Hmmm,” I reply not wanting to talk right now. All I want is to lay here and enjoy having her here with me. I just want to concentrate on the feel of her body and the sound of her breathing.

“Why do you call me Sunshine?” She asks with her eyes still closed.

“Before you, all I knew was darkness. You brought the light into my life.” She gifts me with a warm smile and with that, I finally feel at peace again.

Chapter Twenty-one

Kara

“Aunt Kara? Can you brush my hair for me?” Grace asks as she climbs up on the bed. A thrill goes through me whenever she calls me that. I haven’t mentioned the change in title to Jacob. I’m perfectly content riding this out for now. I know one day I’ll either grow tired of being his consolation prize, or he’ll realize that I’m not as perfect for him as Samantha is. It’s not that I don’t believe he cares for me, because I do. I just believe you only get one true love. His was obviously her, and mine is obviously him.

God it sucks being someone’s second choice.

I’ve been home for two weeks and can move around just fine, but Jacob is overprotective and every chance he gets he makes me rest in bed. When they come, visits from coworkers or friends make my day. I can’t wait to get back to work again. I miss the kids. Most of all, I miss my independence. You take for granted being able to come and go as you please on a day-to-day basis, when you have the freedom to do so.

“Sure, honey. Come sit in between my legs.” I take the brush from her hand and slowly brush her long, silky black hair.

“Are you going to marry Uncle Jacob?” Grace asks, making me stop mid-brush. I definitely wasn’t expecting that question.

“I don’t know, sweetie. That’s not something we’ve talked about. You need to know someone for a little while before you marry them.” I try to evade answering her straight out.

“But you’ve known him for a loooong time,” she drags the word out. “I heard Momma and Daddy talking. Momma said that she can’t wait for you two to get married.” Grace continues to babble, oblivious to the fact that my hands are sweating and my body is frozen.

“When you get married, I want to wear a pink dress. Can I wear a pink dress, Aunt Kara?”

“Grace! Come on, baby. We need to get home. Candace’s sleepover is going to be ending soon.” Emma says from the doorway. “You all set, Kara? Do you need anything before we go?”

I shake my head. “I’ll be fine. He’s really worried for no reason. I feel fine.”

“Yes, well, give him this for a little while. He was a wreck when you were out for so long. He was so worried about you. My heart broke just looking at him. Anyway, he’ll be home within the hour.” She smiles and walks over to give me a hug.

Emma has been an integral part of my recovery. She and one or both of the girls has spent a lot of nights in the guest room, helping me out and keeping me company.

Grace kisses my cheek and I watch as they both head out, calling their goodbyes down the hall.

I sit in silence, staring at the wall, freaking out about what Grace said. Could I marry Jacob knowing that I’m not what he really wants? I knew all along I was setting myself up for a fall. Marrying him would mean diving off the highest platform, rather than the lower one. I don’t think I could survive that kind of fall.

I’m going to have to talk to him. I’ve been debating about talking to him about our relationship anyway. He won’t touch me sexually at all. It’s been a major hit to my self-esteem. I’m afraid if I bring it up, he is going to tell me that he doesn’t want damaged goods. Cory might not have been successful in raping me, but he defiled and soiled me just the same. Chaste kisses are the not the sign of a man in love, and that is all I’m getting from Jacob.

I sigh loudly. Yes, we need to talk.

***

It’s been two weeks since I told myself we needed to have a talk. Have I brought it up to Jacob? No. And why is that? Because I’m a coward.

He still hasn’t touched me or even attempted to make love to me. I’m losing him. I can feel it. I know that bringing this up and pushing him away is a necessity, but I’m not ready to let go yet. So each day I say will be the last one I take for myself, but it never is. I’m so damn weak. I’m no better than Brooke, keeping a man who doesn’t love me. Jacob is only with me out of pity and regret.

Walking out of the bathroom, I head for the dresser and dig in the drawer for a pair of sexy underwear. I find a pair of shimmering blue panties with a ruffle on the butt. I find the matching bra and proceed to get dressed for dinner. Jacob is insisting on taking me out to my favorite Italian restaurant tonight. This will be the perfect ending to our relationship. We’ll have a nice meal and a bottle of wine before coming home and hopefully making love. Either way, tonight will be the last one we spend together. I need to make this a clean break if I’m going to be able to put my life and my heart back together afterward.

I walk to the closet and select a blue satin dress to wear. The dress is fitted, with ruching throughout the chest and midriff. It has a scoop back and ends mid-thigh. I love the dress. I bought it last week when I went shopping with Emma. One look and I knew I had to have it.

I step into the dress and zip up the side, smoothing it out. Next I add a simple pearl necklace and bracelet. I cap off the outfit with a pair of silver, strappy heels.

Leaning over the dresser, I put on a fresh coat of lip gloss before looking over my hair in the mirror. I left my hair down and my curls have volume, just the way Jacob likes it. Stepping back, I look at myself and feel tears prick the back of my eyes. I mentally chastise myself for being such a baby and walk down the hall to meet Jacob at the door.

He looks up at my approach, and his mouth opens slightly. His eyes move over me appreciatively. There was a time when my looking this good would cause him to lose control. I’d end up on my back in bed, and the dress would be on the floor. But this time, he whispers that I look beautiful, then leans in and kisses my cheek before leading me out the door. The lack of passion has my stomach dropping. I will the tears away and mentally square my shoulders, preparing for the rest of the night.

***

Dinner was amazing. We sat at a table tucked in a back corner and drank a bottle of wine, while having light conversation. Ever since our initial talk in the hospital, it seems all we have is light conversation these days. I’m always too afraid to bring up anything heavy or meaningful, and rock the boat.

We ate our dinner by candlelight. Jacob ordered Lasagna, and I ordered Chicken Parmesan. We shared bites of our meals with each other, and it was easy to believe that it was all real. That we could ever be more than we are.

My resolve took a hit when Jacob absentmindedly started stroking my thigh under the table. I almost talked myself out of what I have to do. But I can’t allow myself to continue living in a fantasy. The longer I do, the harder it will be to accept reality when it comes knocking on my door.

“After you,” Jacob says as he opens the restaurant door while we are leaving.

As I step through, I look down to avoid tripping on the step outside. When I do, I bump into a hard chest and stumble back slightly. The hands attached to the body with the hard chest, come up and steady me. When I look up to say thank you, I gasp at who I’m standing in front of.

“Tony, so nice to see you,” I say politely before turning my attention to his wife. “Catherine, you too.” She gives me a catty smile and places her hand on Tony’s arm possessively.

Tony still looks handsome with his dark hair and blue eyes. Catherine looks as evil as ever, with her short black hair and black eyes.

“Kara, wow! It’s been a while. How have you been?” Tony’s eyes move slowly down my body and back up. It’s an intimate look, and I know that he is imagining what I look like under my dress. He used to do that to me all the time, back when I thought we were in love.

Jacob clears his throat and steps up next to me. “Jacob, this is Tony Carter and his wife, Catherine.” They shake hands and exchange pleasantries, and it all feels so awkward.