His Ever After (Love Square) (31 page)

“How do you know each other?” Jacob asks when an uncomfortable silence falls between us.

“Kara and Tony used to date. Isn’t that right, Kara?” Catherine asks. Her voice might sound sincere, but I know she is aiming to expose the cat that we carefully put in the bag a long time ago.

“We did. Well, it was nice seeing the both of you,” I say, trying to walk away. Her hand on my arm stops my movement.

“Yes, it was. Let us know the next time you want to see us again, if you know what I mean,” Catherine replies with a hint of malice in her tone.

“I wouldn’t hold your breath,” I mumble and storm away. It’s amazing how that woman can still get to me after all these years.

Frustrated and annoyed, I stomp to the car and wait while Jacob opens the door. I buckle my seatbelt and wait for him to fold in on the driver side.

“Want to tell me what that was about?” He asks once he settles in and starts the car.

“Not really,” I mumble under my breath. Brooke was the only person besides Tony, Catherine and me that knows the whole story. Jacob would really find me disgusting if he knew what I had done. Then again, it might be the perfect thing to push him away. Not many men would find out their recently defiled girlfriend used to be a whore and still want to stick around.

I turn to him and will my voice to remain calm and neutral while I tell the story.

“I met Tony our senior year in college. He courted me to the extreme. I’m talking flowers, gifts, chocolates, poems. You name it, he did it. I was a virgin still.” I shake my head in disgust at myself for being so young and stupid. “I was waiting for the man of my dreams. When Tony started treating me like I was the most important thing to him, I finally gave in. It took him four months to get into my pants. I wanted to be sure. At first it was awkward. I didn’t have any real experience, but Tony was patient and started showing me how to please him.

“Two months into our sexual relationship, I thought we were in love. He was all I could see. I was so wrapped up in him. That’s when he dropped the bomb that he was engaged to marry his father’s best friend’s daughter, Catherine. I was heartbroken, but Tony assured me that I was the one he loved, not her. So I was naïve and continued dating him. A few months later, she walked in on us having sex. It was so surreal. She just walked in and instead of getting angry, she took off her clothes. I was flabbergasted.

She crawled up the bed towards Tony, while I just lay there in shock. I silently watched as she gave him a blow job. He was so much rougher with her than he was with me. Much to my dismay, I found myself getting turned on by the sounds they were making. Without even realizing it, Catherine had started caressing my leg higher and higher. One thing led to another, and we ended up having a threesome.”

“Wait a minute! You had a threesome?” Jacob asks unbelieving.

“Yes and it gets worse. Tony told me that the only way we could keep seeing each other was if we continued with Catherine in our bed. At first I told him no. Eventually he wore me down and I gave in. There were still times when it was just the two of us, but for six months I mostly slept with both of them. I tricked myself into believing it was normal and that I not only loved Tony, but cared for Catherine as well. I never really thought about what would happen when the time came for them to get married. I never really thought about the future at all. Eventually, Catherine edged me out of the relationship. She said I was trashy and had to go. Tony gave in and dumped me. It was a very foolish time in my life.”

I turn to stare out the window, disgusted with myself all over again. A tear threatens to spill from my eye, so I reach up to swipe it away from my lashes.

“Hey, look at me.” I turn my head to find Jacob staring at me with a tender look on his face. God, this is even worse.

“You are far from trashy. That woman back there was obviously jealous of you. She manipulated that fuckwad into having an unconventional relationship, probably to keep his interest, and then forced him to dump you when she realized she couldn’t hold a candle to you. He was weak for letting it happen. Don’t let their issues and mistakes reflect on you. You got caught up in the newness of a physical relationship and didn’t know enough about playing the games that she was skilled in.”

I sag in my seat. “Will you stop being so damn nice? It makes it hard to be upset,” I say snottily, with narrowed eyes, and it makes him laugh. I close my eyes and absorb the sound. It might be the last time I hear it.

“I’ll keep that in mind. Let’s get you home, Sunshine.” He gives one last chuckle and then drives us home.

Chapter Twenty-two

Jacob

The door closes behind me, and I set my keys on the table in the entryway. Tonight certainly had an interesting turn of events. I never would have expected Kara to have had such an unconventional relationship. But then again, my girl never ceases to amaze me.

I’m learning lately, that there is still a lot I don’t know about her. I hope to rectify that soon. I want nothing more than to know this woman both inside and out and to build a future with her. Almost losing Kara made me realize just how precious our time here is. There is not a second of every day that I’m not thankful for getting to live it with her beside me.

However, I am a little concerned with how she’s been acting the last few weeks since she got out of the hospital. I feel as though she is growing distant. Part of me thinks it’s a result of the attack. We haven’t talked about it at all since she woke up in the hospital. I’ve been following her lead and not bringing it up. I know from experience that if you want to talk about it, then you will. I hate to see her bottling this all up inside. Nothing good can come of it.

We also haven’t been intimate since before the attack. I don’t want to push her into something she isn’t ready for and the last thing I want to do is freak her out. I’ve been waiting for her to come to me, but she hasn’t. It’s heartbreaking to know that that asshole is driving a wedge between us. But I’m nothing, if not determined to see this through. I know one day she’ll be ready, and when that day comes, I’ll be waiting.

Last week, I talked to my shrink about all of my concerns. She thinks I should start the conversation with Kara and see what happens. “Communication is a fundamental part of any relationship,” she said to me. I know she’s right and I pay good money for her advice, but I’m afraid to upset Kara. I don’t want to witness anymore pain and sadness on that beautiful face of hers. We have been through enough and deserve to have some happiness and peace.

I’ll find the right time to bring it up. Soon.

I walk down the hall and take my suit coat off, throwing it on the back of the chair in the corner of our bedroom. It wasn’t too hard to convince Kara to continue staying at my house. I have no plans to ever let her move out. As a matter of fact, I asked Brad if he could help me move Kara out of her place at the end of the month. There is no sense in her paying rent when she doesn’t even stay there.

I unbutton my shirt and it lands on top of the coat. Next, my pants make their way into a heap on the floor. I settle into bed and pull the sheets over my legs and wait for Kara to come out of the bathroom. When she does, my breath stops and my heart starts beating like a loud, fast paced drum.

She stands there in nothing but a pair of blue panties, with the bathroom light spotlighting every curve of her body. Her breasts are perky, and her nipples are erect and begging for attention. All the blood in my body rushes as quickly as it can to my cock. It begins to throb, and I’m suddenly lightheaded.

Kara glances down at the tent forming under the sheets and smiles a knowing grin. She turns around slowly and raises her arms up under her hair. Fuck, I want to bury my face in that hair. Her ass does a little shimmy, and I realize then that she has a series of ruffles covering her behind.

Hot damn! If I wasn’t already hard enough to pound nails, I would be after seeing that. Kara knows me too well.

“What do you think?” She asks with a low and sultry voice, looking over her shoulder at me.

“I think you better get your ass over here before I spank you for teasing me,” I growl at her, needing desperately to touch her.

“You want me?” She asks, dropping her arms and turning towards me. Her voice is laced with insecurity. I blink at her, confused as to why she would ever be afraid that I didn’t want her. I thought we were passed that.

“Of course I want you. I’ll always want you. Now get your ass over here,” I demand.

A light smirk sits on her face as she slowly moves to the side of the bed. Once she is in reaching distance, I grab her arm and pull her to me. Her chest collides with mine, and I waste no time at all tasting her sweet mouth and running my hands all over her body. The feel of her breasts rubbing against my chest has me almost losing complete control. It’s been so long since we’ve done this, my body is trying to make up for lost time.

I roll our bodies so that she is under me, and my lips trail down her neck and over her breast. She wiggles under me, and I see her chest rising and falling with each heavy breath. I circle her nipple with the tip of my tongue and watch it harden. My fingers lightly move down her stomach, rubbing back and forth under the edge of her panties. Kara’s hand fists in the sheets at her side. Her breathing becomes more erratic and choppy.

I dip my fingers lower, making my way through her slick folds. Just as I find her clit, her legs clamp shut, and I look up to see her eyes pinched closed as if she is in pain. I watch in dismay as she has a full blown panic attack.

“I can’t do this,” she barely gets out before a sob rips from her chest.

I’m such a prick. I didn’t even notice her unease with what I was doing. I thought she was just getting worked up.

I gather her in my arms and tuck her head into my neck while she trembles and cries. My soft whispers assure her that it will all be okay. I’m glad I didn’t push this issue sooner and had let her set the pace. She’s not ready at all for this. And I wish, yet again, that I could kill that asshole for what he did to her. He’ll be spending the rest of his life in prison, but he should be six feet under where he belongs.

Once her crying is downgraded to sniffles and a few occasional hiccups, I lift her chin with my index finger and kiss the tip of her nose.

“You alright?” I ask softly, nuzzling her nose with mine.

She takes a shuddered breath and nods, closing her eyes and enjoying our connection. “I’m so sorry for teasing you like that. I honestly didn’t think I’d freak out when you touched me. I swear it’s not you.”

“Shhh, baby. I know it’s out of your control. You don’t ever have to apologize for that. Never that. But sweetheart, you need to talk about what happened to you. It isn’t healthy holding it inside. You’re letting him win if you do,” I whisper and pray she’ll listen to me.

“I know. I just thought you didn’t want to hear about it. I know how mad you were and I didn’t want to rehash those feelings for you.”

Of course, Kara was thinking about me. She never thinks about herself and that worries me. Sometimes we need to put ourselves first. If someone really loves you, they’ll understand and support you.

“Please don’t ever worry about me when it comes to that. I’ve been waiting for you to make the first move. And I’m not just talking physically. I’m talking emotionally. I can’t dictate the pace with which you recover from the attack. You have to do that. I’m just here to support you so when you are healed, we’ll be stronger because of it.” I kiss her lips softly and pull her to my chest.

“You mean, you’ve been waiting for me? I thought you weren’t attracted to me anymore. I thought you didn’t want to be with me.” Kara’s words are full of anguish, and they slice my heart open.

“Don’t ever think I don’t want you. Kara, honey, I love you. More than anything. I didn’t know what love really was until that night you told me to get in the fucking car. It just took me a long time to figure it out.” I rub my thumb over her cheek. She looks at me with awe and so much damn love in her eyes, that I’m crippled by my overwhelming feelings for her.

“You love me? And not just because I’m your second choice?” Her lips tremble, so she pulls them in between her teeth.

“Second choice? Where the hell is that coming from?” I demand to know. I swear her head is so fucking twisted sometimes.

“Jacob, I read Brooke’s journals. I know how you feel about Samantha. You don’t need to play dumb with me. Even Sophie said you were still hung up on her. You only get one true love, Jacob, and she was yours,” Kara says forcefully.

“Well you got one thing right out of that whole spiel,” I say with anger. How the fuck could she not get what she means to me? “Now I’m only going to say this once, so make sure you pay close attention. It’s true, you do only get one true love.”

Her eyes shutter to hide her pain, and I feel guilty doing it this way, but it must be said. Apparently, I do need to improve on my communication skills. “You only get one person who completes you. One person who gets who you are and helps to make you better without trying to change you. One person that you can make babies with and grow old with. One person to share your dreams and hopes with. One person to hold until you die.”

I cup her cheek with my hand and lean in. “You’re that one person for me, Kara. Don’t ever doubt that. I thought Sam was it for me. I wanted so desperately to believe I found my soul mate, someone that I could live happily ever after with. But it was all just an illusion. You’re real.” I put my hand over her racing heart. “You’re my one and only. Just you. You have all of me, Kara. Every last inch of my body and every last drop of my soul.”

A lone tear falls from her eyes, and she wraps her arms around me. “I love you too,” she whispers in between kisses.

“Don’t ever doubt how I feel about you.” I kiss her lips again before asking, “Will you do me a favor?”

Kara nods, so I kiss her again for being so damn sweet. “Will you make an appointment with my therapist? I want to see you get the help you need so we can move past this and put that fucker behind us.”