Hold My Hand (7 page)

For now, I was simply
trying to learn my way and William had been a good teacher. I was
willing to take the risk that he’d continue to be safe for
me.

“I find always to be a
dangerous term but yes, we’ll more often share than not. I like
feeding you.” He nodded and surveyed the food. Tonight’s fare was
Italian – it smelled and looked delicious.

“You like Italian
cuisine?”

“
It smells delicious.”
I opened my mouth to allow him to feed me from his fork. It was
less awkward than the first time we did this. He watched me chew,
waiting with raised brow for my appraisal of the food.

“It tastes delicious.”

“Let’s enjoy our meal then.
Think of it as energy because I’m looking forward to an active
weekend.” William raised his eyebrows and gave me a look that shook
me to my toes. “Since much of this weekend’s activities will be my
choice, you can choose our dinner conversation.”

I finish chewing slowly to
give myself time to decide. Here’s my chance. It’s my one
opportunity to learn something about William. I swallowed, took a
sip of my wine, and waited for liquid courage to pump through my
veins as I considered my choices.

“There must be something
you’d like to know about me?” William coaxed a response from me
with his soft tone. I didn’t need to be so worried around this man
– he likes me. I may not know the reason but I’m confident in the
declaration.

“What do you do for work?” I
realized this question was at the crux of everything I wondered
about his lifestyle and so I chose my topic accordingly.

“Interesting choice, of all
the things I imagined you’d ask.” Nodding his head, he seemed to
approve of my question. As he forked more food and fed me, I
listened to him talk.

“I develop communities
–homes much like communes– in foreign countries. I find investors,
connect with builders and give people safe places to live.”

I was stunned and once again
amazed by this man. As I listened to him explain his work, I added
generous, caring and philanthropic to my list of positives about
William. I said none of this aloud, instead asking, “Which
countries? Have you traveled there?” I felt the excitement building
as I considered his lifestyle. It differed so much from my simpler
career choice of writing.

“
I travel to every
place my company has a site. They’re all over the world but mostly
in countries affected by war, with people who have no hope for
anything better in life under the current government’s policies.
The aid our country provides isn’t enough though we’re usually the
giant that destroyed what these people had. I can’t be bothered
with politics so instead, I find investors willing to do
something.”

I considered what he said as
I chewed, using the time to clear my mind and formulate an
appropriate response. “This is amazing work you do.”

“It’s simply my work,
Aubrey. It’s no more amazing than these people deserve.” He paused
to take a bite of our meal, “And I found I rather like puzzles. I
discover an area of need and put together the pieces – investors,
construction crews, supply companies. It’s exciting work for me. At
the end, when the communities are fully functioning, the results
are satisfying.”

We finished our meal at a
leisurely pace with William talking about his work. I was no less
than astounded by this man all over again; and then equally
confused how he could possibly be drawn to me.

On the other hand,
perhaps not – perhaps I was a puzzle, a person in need he planned
to help. I may be no more to him than this. I took inventory of my
heart and wrapped it firmly back up to be sure not to let it go too
easily. Suddenly making sense of William’s interest in me reminded
me I was nothing more than plain Aubrey.
You are nothing, a nobody.

After the waiter
cleared away the plates, William’s next words snapped me back to
reality. “Are you prepared for this weekend, Aubrey? I know
physically all has been attended to but I’m asking one last time
–before there’s no turning back– if you’re certain.” His finger
stroked along my cheek until it rested ever so gently on my lower
lip, pulling it down until I parted my lips so he could sip from
them.

The kiss was soft and went
no deeper than the cursory touch but it placed him close enough, I
could feel his breath as he spoke. I knew he could feel mine and I
was caught again in his net. Ensnared by this magnificent man who
was giving me yet another chance to run from him.

“Yes. I’m certain, sir,” my
words were spoken on a sigh as I breathed him in.

He immediately stood, pulled
out my chair and held out his hand. His face looked tight. William
was now focused clearly on a mission. I suspected that mission was
me and I flushed considering the next step in our journey together.
Firming my resolve, I took his hand and allowed him to lead me.

The car ride to
William’s home passed far too quickly, or perhaps not fast enough.
He took a phone call so I distracted myself by watching the
changing leaves on the trees we passed. Blurry but still vivid in
color, the leaves were vibrant with oranges and golds. The fall
foliage was one of my favorite things about New England. Raised in
Ohio most of my life, nothing compared to Boston’s fall foliage.
The leaves were also a nice distraction as we drew closer to the
unknown.

It grew silent in the car. I
turned to see William had finished his call and was now watching
me, openly taking in my features from beside me. He stroked my
cheek and I could nearly feel his uncertainty. This was something I
hadn’t felt from this incredibly strong man before now. He was
always in control, firm and steady.

“I’m humbled by your trust,
sweet Aubrey. I will honor it.” His eyes bore into me. They were
hot, too hot with a depth threatening to set me aflame. The brief
insecurity I glimpsed just a moment before was now gone, in its
place the same determination and strength I’m used to seeing.

“When we go inside, take off
your shoes at the front door. You’ll not wear shoes at home. Leave
your purse and shoes in the foyer closet.”

“
I…” his finger on my
lips halted my words.

“
When you obey me, no
matter what it is I ask of you, I feel your trust in me. It’s a
gift you give to me.” The stroking of his fingers through my hair
relaxed me and I closed my eyes, leaning into his hand. “Open your
eyes. Look at me.”

There was no hesitation, my
eyes snapped back open.

“Once you’ve put your things
away, I’ll be waiting for you in the den. Come to me and kneel at
my feet.” His gaze was so intense that I was certain he didn’t miss
the deep swallow I took or the flush of my cheeks at the thought of
kneeling before him. It was beginning. Everything I agreed to
–everything I wanted– this was the moment.

With shaking hands, I
adjusted myself on the seat and moved closer to the door. William
got out and extended his hand to help me out as well. He held onto
my hand as I called out over my shoulder, “Good night, Baylor,” and
wondered exactly how much of our conversation Baylor had heard.

“Good night, Miss… Aubrey,”
He fumbled his words and I was charmed. William’s expression told
me he wasn’t as charmed.

“I’ll see you Monday
morning, Baylor. Have a good weekend,” William dismissed him that
easily and led me into the house.

*****

My legs carried me towards
William, seated on the sofa in the den. I was amazed they’d held up
with the spinning of my head and the frantic pumping of my heart.
Simple gravity must be propelling me towards him as fear of the
unknown swamped me.

The chatter inside my
head -
you can do this,
you can do this
- was not doing
what I needed it to. I needed confidence and bravery. I needed all
those things William saw in me that I couldn’t seem to grasp. I’m
just Aubrey, no one significant and with nothing to give. I have no
experience except what I’ve read, no life experience to offer, and
yet he wants me. I couldn’t make sense of it as these thoughts
jumbled in my head.

I walked as silently as I
could, fingers folded into themselves as I gripped my hands for
strength. William watched me patiently as I made my way to stand in
front of him, between his widened knees and awkwardly knelt. I kept
my back straight, placed my hands in my lap and lowered my eyes. I
couldn’t look at William in this moment.

“Good, sweet Aubrey,”
William spoke in a soothing, gentle voice as he leaned into me. I
felt his eyes on me but made no move, breathed not a single
word.

“Arch your back slightly.” I
did as instructed. “Good.”

“Place your hands on your
knees, palms up.” Again, I did as instructed. “Good.”

“
Your posture is
beautiful,” he paused as I continued to feel his eyes on my body.
“Manners, sweet Aubrey.”

His stern voice and simple
reminder spurred me into action. “Thank you, sir.”

“Sometimes our time will be
about pleasure. Sometimes it’ll be about punishment or discipline.
Tonight though is instruction, the beginning of your training. I
plan to teach you how to please me.”

“Thank you, sir,” I
whispered in a shaky voice sounding far different from my own. In
this foreign moment, I was both terrified and thrilled. Despite the
awkwardness of never having done this before, it felt safe. He
planned to teach me how to please him so I wouldn’t need to
guess.

William stood and circled
me. His hands massaged my shoulders as I held my kneeling pose
before him. Slowly, they trailed the edge of my wrap dress. His
fingers lightly brushed my breasts until he reached the knotted
belt holding everything together. With two pulls, I’m bared to
him.

He pushed the dress down my
arms. “Allow it to drop from you.” I obeyed without question and
now kneeled before him in just the lacy lingerie set he bought for
me. It was a gift for me that I now offered up to him.

“Since I can’t fuck you as
I’d like to yet, we’ll focus on oral skills.” William moved around
me again so he was standing in front of me. His fingers brushed
along my cheeks, my chin, and my mouth. With gentle strokes, he
separated my lips and placed one finger between them. I couldn’t
help myself from gently lapping his finger with my tongue. The
salty flavor and the texture so delicious, I drew his finger in
deeper and sucked.

William groaned softly,
almost like a purr, and I smiled as he pulled his finger away. I
kept my eyes straight ahead and watched as his fingers pulled the
snap of his pants open and drew down the zipper. I swallowed as my
heart threatened to beat out of my chest. William reached inside
his pants, pulled his boxers to the side and released his penis.
I’d never seen one so close. It was intimidating, to say the
least.

I made a small whimpering
sound. William reached out to stroke my cheek. “You’re doing so
good. Don’t be afraid.” I closed my eyes at his gentleness. How did
he know it was exactly what I needed in that moment?

I felt an unaccustomed touch
to my lips. I opened my eyes to see William guiding his cock to my
mouth, gently stroking my lips with the tip when I failed to open
soon enough. My breathing hitched as I felt my heart rate
accelerate once again.

“Relax and I’ll tell you
exactly what I want you to do.”

He took my head in his
strong hands and lowered it closer to him. I was trapped as he slid
his cock into my mouth. He was thick and smooth but steel hard
below the soft skin. Such a contradiction between my lips, I wanted
to learn every feel. I licked around the velvety tip and tasted a
salty tang before running my tongue along the rigid contours of his
shaft. Then he pushed in further and I could do nothing but allow
him the space he needed.

I was taken by surprise by
the warmth I felt between my own legs. I wanted to touch myself –a
desire I’ve never before felt- and closed my eyes to the thought as
I worked to push away the feeling. I moaned around his shaft as it
continued moving in and out of my mouth.

“Open your eyes, little
elf.” William paused for my compliance. “Now, I’m going to do all
the work. Leave your lips parted and keep your gaze on me.”

I couldn’t speak but I did
as instructed. My mouth was wet and ready to take him. I wanted to
please him and I recognized there was power in this. He was giving
me the power to please him. Never before had I held such power. I
silently wondered if I was glowing with this new experience. The
sensations were causing a warm feeling to burn inside me. I may
have been afraid if not for his control, for his guidance. I had
nothing to worry about since William was teaching me.

“You are doing very well.
It’s right that we should start as we mean to continue.”

I watched as he stared down
at me, observing his thick shaft move in and out of my mouth. I
dared not look away. I was pinned before him. I took in every
stroke, the texture of his smooth skin over his steel-hard rod. I
marveled at my lips straining to remain open and was lost in
William. His touch, his scent and his voice embraced me.

“You will swallow everything
I give you. And once you’ve cleaned me, you’ll thank me.” In this
moment, held by the intensity in his cocoa-rich brown eyes, he once
again ensnared me. I shivered at his words as his voice slid down
my spine. A brief rush of panic filled my senses when I
contemplated following his instructions. Will I like it? Can I do
what he’s asked?

“You can do this. I see the
panic in your eyes but don’t fear this. I want you to simply accept
and embrace it.” William massaged his fingers in my hair even as he
continued to hold my head in place. The heat between my legs grew
stronger at his affirmation.