Hold My Hand (11 page)

Holding still, he leaned
down to kiss my lips. “I’ll give you a minute to get accustomed to
the fullness but then I plan to take you as I always will. There’s
no need to be soft when neither of us will ever desire that in the
future.”

Despite his words, the
gentleness he showed me in simply preparing me for what would come
brought my tears out. His tongue traced my lips and I groaned as if
in agony because I needed him to move. I needed to feel him but I
understand it wasn’t my place to ask. I waited and was given what
he wanted to give me. God help me but I also knew William was far
more versed in this act than I was.

He worked in a steady rhythm
as I felt my body stretching to accommodate his wide cock. It
didn’t hurt but the pressure –the feeling I might implode at any
moment- was constant. I curled my pelvis towards him to increase
the friction along my most sensitive spot.

“
That’s right. Reach
for what you want. This time, your orgasm is free.”

William picked up the pace
and I followed in his rhythm, tilting my hips forward and squeezing
my bottom. The sensations pressed in around me. I threw my head
back onto the pillows behind me and arched my back. I had no idea,
none whatsoever, that sex heightened all your senses. Speech was
beyond me as I vocalized my growing arousal in a series of moans
and grunts.

“Keep reaching, little elf.
So beautiful, so beautiful seeing you reach for what you want,”
William spoke a litany of encouraging words as he relentlessly
stroked in and out of my core.

I continued to move, to
reach for that orgasm but my frustration started to grow at not
finding it. What was I doing wrong? Why couldn’t I even get this
right?

“
Please,” I cried out,
“Please, this is so much, so much. I d-don’t know how.” I wanted to
reach that place. I wanted to find the edge and fall off the cliff
so William could catch me but there was something holding me back
and I couldn’t quite get there. I needed something, someone, to
help me.

“
Look up at me,”
William’s voice broke through my frustration. “Keep your eyes open
so I can watch you take your orgasm.”

I looked into his eyes. They
were burning with liquid heat, so like melted chocolate that I
wanted to drink him into me. I craved him so deep –to be a part of
my soul- that I’d never be able to be free of him.

William placed his finger
onto the spot that I’d been trying to rub his cock against. “This
is your magic button,” he said with a grin, “your precious little
pink clit.” He pressed on it firmly, flicked his finger on it and
then pressed again, repeating the motion until a tightening formed
in my belly.

“William,” I called out,
unsure of the new sensation.

“That’s it, little elf, ride
that feeling. Relax and allow it to carry you along.” He talked to
me while continuing his movements. His voice now tight and thick so
that I could imagine I’m affecting him just as he was affecting me.
In and out, he pumped. Press and flick. His breathing grew more
labored. His forehead beading in sweat, William was magnificent.
“Now, now, let go now.”

It’s a command I couldn’t
resist. Light burst in my head as the most immense tensing in my
pelvis simply snapped and I floated into a place where everything
was right with the world. My muscles clenched and unclenched. My
legs shook and my breathing was erratic as I came back and worked
to gain control. I saw William’s face drawn in tight and his
nostrils flared as he panted through his own release. The warmth of
his ejaculation filled me and kept my core sensitized to his
movements.

“Holy hell. That was
incredible,” William smiled down at me, watching under hooded eyes.
“I can honestly say I’ve never seen anything more beautiful.”

I blushed, amazed that his
compliment could make me blush even while I lay naked beneath him.
Quietly, I watched as he eased himself out of my body and worked
nimble fingers to release the ropes binding me. He massaged the
muscles and I relaxed, giving myself over to him, melting under his
touches as my body softened and my eyes grew heavy.

I soared to new
heights.

I must’ve fallen asleep
because I opened my eyes to a darkened room and the feel of William
above me. His lips trailed along my collarbone, his breath rushed
up along the column of my neck until words formed in my ear. “This
time, you will not come until I give the instruction, little
elf.”

“But…” he cut off my words
with another kiss, this one more hungry than those in the past.

“I was as gentle as I could
be for your first time but now I need to claim you as mine.”

It shouldn’t happen but his
words set me on fire. My body grew hot, my nipples beaded at the
thought of a claiming. What does that even mean? I didn’t care. I
only knew I wanted it. I wanted to be his.

He slipped inside me, a
steady smooth press inward until his cock was firmly wedged in my
channel. My inner muscles tightened, grasping and clenching at the
massive intrusion. I pushed my legs out as my body instinctively
began to fight him off but he locked his legs over mine and left me
immobile. His body formed bonds of its own over me.

“Quiet while I feel you.
Ssh,” William hushed me.

I focused on pleasing him by
relaxing into the moment but inside, everything screamed to push
against him. Being still when my body was on full alert with every
nerve ending on fire was nearly impossible. I was panting, taking
breaths to calm myself. I wanted to please him.

William pushed up so that he
was able to look down at me. His cock was still snug inside my
core. He moved his hand between the juncture of my legs and touched
my clit again. With just one stroke, I was trembling. I could sense
my release very near. “Need. I need…”

“No.” William tapped my
clit, a light slap but enough to sting. It got my attention. “You
will not come. What do you say to me?”

“Yes, sir. I won’t
come.”

“Good little elf.” William
pushed fully into me again and then nearly out at a leisurely pace
that allowed me to relax. “Now, let’s do some work,” William’s
voice was calm and I wondered how it was possible that I was nearly
out of my mind and he has so much composure. “Repeat after me. I am
perfect.”

I rolled my eyes, not this
again. We did this repeatedly on Tuesday. Didn’t he realize I just
wanted to feel him? Didn’t he want me? I shook my head side to side
and tried shifting my hips. A sting on my nipple pulled me out of
my thoughts. I looked at William who was now holding a stick with a
leather flap on the end.

William lightly rubbed the
leather tip along my jaw, tracing from ear to ear. He placed it to
my nose. “Smell it.”

I breathed in the rich scent
of leather.

He placed the leather
against my lips. “Kiss it.”

I followed his command and
caressed the leather with my lips. It was softer than I’d expected.
I wanted more time to explore it, to feel its texture, but William
took it away.

“Tell me why we’re doing
this.”

“To – To teach me not to put
myself down.” I remembered this game all too well from the other
day except William upped the ante with the instrument he wielded in
his hand. Why had I made that comment about myself earlier? I knew
he didn’t think the things I do. Why couldn’t I have kept those
words inside?

“
Good. This isn’t a
punishment. It’s training. Now, this is a crop,” William stroked my
cheek with the instrument I wasn’t sure was my friend. “And here
are the rules. You do as I say and I do this,” William paused to
press his cock inside me while stroking my nipple with the soft tip
of the crop. I whimpered and he stopped. “Or you choose not to do
as I say and I do this,” William pulled his cock away from me and
hit my other nipple with the crop. This sting caused me to arch my
back but I held back the gasp.

He grinned at me. He knew I
was holding back my sounds but I wondered if he knew why. Does he
know I’m still wondering about this? Does he know I feel shame?
Uncertainty?

“Let’s try again, now that
I’ve explained the rules. Repeat after me. I am perfect.”

I made the decision that I
didn’t want him to strike me with the crop so I said the words
without thinking. I looked directly at William’s shoulder and said,
“I am perfect.”

“Again.” I got no
affirmation that I’d done it correctly. Disappointment washed
through me at William withholding my reward but neither did he hit
me with the crop so I sighed in relief. I could play this game. I
could do this.

I repeated his words while
staring at his shoulder and mumbled the words. I’m shocked as he
struck me this time. I did just what he said. I repeated the words.
What more does he want? I followed the rules.

“Look me in the eye. Repeat
after me. I am perfect.”

Damn him. I didn’t want to
do this. I didn’t want to lie here, naked and exposed, saying these
words. I sealed my lips closed and shook my head.

William sat over me,
unmoving and watching. His thick cock was still planted snuggly
inside me. I shifted my hips and felt him even as I wanted to hide
from him. Tears dripped from the corners of my eyes.

As if he didn’t even notice
I was crying, he said again, “Look me in the eye.”

My body immediately
responded, already a slave to him. My core grew warm again, my
stomach tightened like a coil, and I looked at him. We sat, eye to
eye, without another word. I pulled on the rope binding me. It
seemed like hours but I knew it was mere minutes. I wanted my hands
to cover myself. I hated that he was watching me cry and yet I
still felt safe here with him. Shouldn’t I be afraid?

“Would you like to use your
safeword?” He watched me so intently that I felt his stare scolding
my skin.

“No,” the instinctive
response flew past my lips. Oh God, he wanted to let me go. Now he
was disappointed in me. The tears continued to fall. “Please…” I
stopped, unsure what I wanted to say.

“Ok, little elf, if you
don’t want to stop, then you need to do as I say.” William’s voice
allowed for no argument. “Repeat after me. And do not hide yourself
from me. Keep your eyes on my eyes.”

“Yes sir,” I managed to pass
the words between my parched lips before licking them and
swallowing down my courage.

“I am perfect.” William
lightly stroked my leg with his free hand -the one not holding the
crop- as my muscles relaxed and he waited.

I steeled myself to look
into his eyes. My voice was weak but I managed to get the words
out. “I am perfect.”

William pushed deeper inside
me and smiled. “Very good. Again.”

“I am perfect.” I said it
again even though I knew I wasn’t perfect. William bolstered my
resolve with his smile, his strokes, and the deeper penetration of
his cock inside me.

He pulled out. “Again.”

I didn’t know how many times
we did this but I knew I must’ve gotten it right because I
continued to receive the gentle strokes of his crop. I’d made
friends with this instrument of pain that now brought me a pleasure
I’d never known. I was balancing on this edge of pain and pleasure,
suddenly not caring which way I fell as long as I was allowed the
release.

“I want you to admit to what
I see.” William was perfectly still inside me but he used the crop
to pet my nipples. Like Judas, they betrayed me. My entire body
betrayed me. It screamed at me to let go and believe what he said,
believe I’m perfect so he’d give me the gift I so badly craved. I
wanted William to have me. I wanted to feel his release as he felt
mine.

He pulled out again and
looked down at me. He said nothing, just watched me. It was
unnerving. I bit my lower lip. The dual feelings –these crazy
emotions- were fooling with me. I was completely overwhelmed but I
wanted so much to be enough for him.

“I want to be perfect for
you,” I spoke my thoughts without realizing I was doing it. “I want
to be enough for you.”

“That’s just it. You are
enough. You’re perfect to me.” William’s steady voice and his words
of encouragement filled me. I was dumbfounded by this man who
thought so much of me. I felt it. I felt how much he believed what
he said, how much he believed I was perfect.

“I’m perfect,” I said it
this time without prompting.

Then I heard one word.

William said, “yes”, before
he buried his cock so deep into me, I felt a twinge and cried out.
I felt my orgasm build –I recognized the sensations this time- and
it was so, so good but William felt it too. He pulled out; slapped
the sides of my thighs and the sting centered my thoughts. The pain
turned quickly into pleasure and morphed the two sensations
together.

“I don’t want you to come
until I say. That’ll always be the way.” My mind was spinning and I
couldn’t think. I had no control over my body. Desperation settled
over me as my muscles clenched for him. I needed him to fill
me.

The emptiness made me
scream out in nonsensical words – “I want, I want, I
want…”

The sensations, the slaps,
the strokes of his cock in and out of my wet core were all too
much. They were making it impossible to ward off this growing time
bomb inside of me. It was nearly unbearable – the tension was
coiling. I was going to snap, I was going to snap. Why wouldn’t he
let up?

“Please, please,” I cried,
tears forming in my eyes again. This time my tears came from
fighting the sensations that I felt so close to the surface. I
didn’t want to disappoint William but I was weak.

“What do you need?”

“I don’t want to disappoint
you. I can’t…”

“Sweet, sweet little elf.
You’re doing beautifully. Shall we come together now?”