Authors: Ana Layne
Lance
A week after our date, we’re still moving slow, but I don’t mind. I’m finally getting to know Hilary like I’ve always wanted to, and she just amazes me. It’s the way she scrunches her nose when she’s upset and the way she laughs at my corny jokes. She accepts me for who I am, and even her mom and dad accept me. I couldn’t ask for anything better.
She texted me this morning to let me know that her mom was bringing her to her first doctor’s appointment. I’m a little disappointed that I couldn’t be there, but then again, it isn’t really my baby. She promised to let me know how it goes. I have a lot to get done today, anyway. I have my first fight in what feels like forever this evening, and Howard has been constantly drilling me to ensure I’m prepared. I am more than prepared. I’m ready to dominate.
I walk into Lou’s to find Raegan sitting on one of the mats. I sit beside her to see how she’s doing. “What are you up to?” I ask.
“I miss these mats. I know that’s crazy, but I do.”
“I know you do. I knew you’d miss it the day you gave it all up. You’re a born fighter, Raegan. But now you’re going to be a mom, so that’s where the real fighting begins, right?”
She cocks her head, eyeing me like I’m a crazed madman. “The real fighting?”
“Yeah, you know, fighting to protect your child from all the crazy and evil in this world. Fighting for their rights as little people, and stuff like that.”
She’s resting her hand on her stomach. “Ah, I get it now. Is it too early to claim I have pregnancy brain? I totally knew that’s what you were talking about.”
“Yeah, sure. You can’t fool me.” I laugh.
“So, has Hilary been to the doctor yet?” she asks, changing the subject.
“Actually, she’s going today. Her mom is bringing her. I wanted to be there, but I have a fight tonight and Howard wants to make sure I’m prepared. Speaking of, where are they?”
“Around here somewhere,” she says, waving her hand. This place isn’t that big. I should have seen them by now. It’s nothing but concrete walls and mats, for crying out loud.
“In the office?”
“Maybe. I honestly don’t know. By the way, I’ll be there tonight to cheer you on. Are you bringing Hilary? I can keep her company and she can tell me about this baby because I still haven’t heard anything from her about it.”
“Are you jealous?”
She glares at me. “Don’t forget who brought you two together.”
“Yes, mother. Let me help you up. I need to find Howard and get to work.”
“You’re bossy.” She whines as she places her hand in mine. I stand to my feet before helping her up. She walks into the office, and Howard and Garrett emerge.
“There you two are. Any word on who I’m against tonight?”
“No word from Blaize yet, but if I hear before this evening, I’ll let you know.”
I nod in understanding, and make my way back to the mat. My adrenaline is flowing and this is only practice. I can’t wait until tonight.
***
Hilary is waiting outside when I pull up. She’s wearing a smile on her face, and I can’t wait to hear what she has to say. I talked to her earlier and asked about the doctor but she insisted on telling me in person. I lean over and open the door for her.
“I got to hear the heartbeat today,” she exclaims as she hops into the seat. “Gosh, you should have heard it! It was the most amazing thing.”
“That’s awesome. So, now what?”
“Well, right now I go to the doctor once a month. In a few months, I’ll have an ultrasound and it just goes from there. They did ask about the father, and I briefly explained the biological father will not have any role. My mom informed them I have a great guy who will be the perfect father to my baby.”
“Sounds like you had a great visit. So, if I ever go to an appointment are they going to look at me like I’m crazy?”
“Never. I won’t let them. Is Raegan going to be there tonight?” she asks, sounding hopeful.
“Yeah, she will be. I want you to stay by her when I fight. She’ll make sure no one bumps into you or anything, and don’t be mad but she already knows about the baby.”
“You told her?”
“Yeah. Please don’t be upset.”
“I’m not. Honestly, I was wondering if you’d be able to keep quiet.”
I reach over and lace her fingers with mine. “I was going to keep it quiet for as long as you wanted me to, but I couldn’t. I haven’t told my dad yet. I should probably do that soon.”
She nods, knowing it’s inevitable. I can’t just start showing up with a baby around my house and not tell him anything.
I pull up to my usual parking spot, and the tension begins to build inside me. My palms are growing sweaty and the urge to vomit comes over me, but I regain my control and help Hilary out of the truck.
“Good luck tonight,” she tells me, softly kissing my cheek.
“Thanks. I’ll be fine because you’re here.”
We move ahead of a crowd of people waiting to enter the building and walk through to where Howard is waiting for me. Garrett and Raegan are already here, and the two women begin talking, leaving us to get our minds focused on why we’re here.
Howard and Garrett both look like they’ve seen a ghost, and I’m not sure which one of them is capable of talking right now. Something isn’t right, and I want to know what is going on. Howard can barely make eye contact with me, and Garrett just frowns.
“Lance, I need to talk to you.” Howard nods to a corner where no one is standing. I glance over to Garrett, but he turns away from me.
Howard crosses his arms over his chest as I stand in front of him. “Well, what is it? You’re worrying the hell out of me.”
“I had no bearing on this. I had no clue this was going to happen and—”
“And what? Just spit it out. I’m sure I can handle whatever you’re about to tell me.”
“I almost wanted to ask you to forfeit tonight.”
“I don’t forfeit.” He’s fucking playing around, and I’m beginning to get agitated.
“I’m just going to come out and say this. You’re fighting Travis tonight.”
The only thing I can think about is Hilary. What is seeing him going to do to her? “Are you fucking kidding me?”
“No, Lance, I’m not fucking kidding you. I’m as serious as a heart attack. My question to you is this, will you be able to handle yourself in the ring? Can you deliver a clean fight and not lose your head? If you can’t, then I
will
make you forfeit.”
Fuck.
Can I let go of everything for just a few minutes and come out on the other end okay? When I think about everything that he did to her and put her through, I really just want to beat the living shit out of him. I almost lost everything I love in fighting because of him. I have no respect for him, and I have to get in the ring with that coward and pretend none of it ever happened. I can’t lose my cool, though. Not with Hilary here. I told her I was a new man, and the new Lance doesn’t need to give a shit about Travis.
“I have to let her know he’s here. I can and I will make this work,” I say firmly. “But I’m telling you, if he takes a cheap shot at me, I may not be able to hold myself back.”
He nods in understanding. “If he takes a cheap shot, that’s his ass, not yours.”
“Thanks for telling me this. At least I won’t be surprised.”
“I figured this was one surprise you wouldn’t want.” He claps his hand on my shoulder before walking away. I turn to see Hilary and Raegan laughing and talking. I hate to be the one to ruin her night, but I don’t want her to hear it from anyone else.
“Hey, Hil, can I talk to you for a minute?”
Raegan perks up, and I now have her attention as well. “What is it, Lance?” Hilary asks.
“I’m fighting Travis tonight.” Her eyes widen and begin to fill with tears. “I just found out less than a minute ago, and I wanted you to hear it from me.”
“What if he tries to talk to me? Oh God, I don’t think I can do this.” The tears spill down her face, and I pull her close.
“If he tries to talk to you, I’ll punch him square in his fucking mouth.”
Raegan growls. God, her hormones must be flaring up. Garrett will have to worry about keeping her in check because I have no doubt she would go after Travis if he attempted to start anything.
I glare at her, my eyes pleading her not to say another word. She huffs, crossing her arms over her chest, but never says another word. I pull Hilary’s hand into mine.
“It’s going to be okay. I want you to stay by Raegan and Garrett. Howard will be there too, while I’m fighting, and they won’t let him anywhere near you. As soon as I’m done, we are leaving, okay?”
She whimpers and nods. This is absolute torture for her, and I wish I had known this before. I would have never asked her to come along. I would have driven this solo with no problem at all, and now guilt consumes me. I feel responsible for bringing her here, knowing there is always the possibility he will be here. Maybe I thought I could protect her no matter what. I know I can, but now I’m concerned I might be endangering her.
I give her a soft kiss on her forehead. It’s time for me to get ready. The number of people in the room has doubled, and Raegan is on alert for trouble. I know if something happens and I can’t get to Hilary fast enough, Raegan will get her out of here.
Inside the dressing room, I’m alone with my thoughts. My mind is overwhelmed with wondering, and I hate it. I need to be concentrating. For once, I don’t give a shit about whether or not I am going to win. All I care about is her safety. I worry about
him
lurking around, preying on her.
I sit in the metal chair in the corner of the room and place my head in my hands. I can’t do this. I know I told Howard I can go out there and keep my head straight, but the truth is, I don’t think I can. I want to, but it just doesn’t seem possible. The tension between Travis and I is personal, and I don’t think I can leave that baggage inside this dressing room.
The door opens. I expect to see Howard, but it’s Garrett. “Hey, man, are you okay? I knew, but Howard wanted to be the one to tell you.”
I may be able to lie to Howard, but I can’t lie to my best friend. “No.”
“I can’t imagine what you’re getting ready to go through, but I know you, and you can do this.”
“I am worried about myself, but it’s mainly her. What about her, Garrett? Why the fuck did I say I wanted to fight this evening?”
Garrett squats down in front of me and sighs. “Because it’s in your blood. That’s why you said you wanted to fight this evening. If you’re that concerned, forfeit. No one will look down on you.”
“I’m not a quitter. I’m not forfeiting.”
“I know you’re not, but I just wanted to say it.”
“Raegan is with her, and I know she will keep her safe.”
“She will, and I’ll be out there too. You don’t need to worry. Just try to clear your head so you can be on top of your game. Don’t let that asshole win. Beat him, and show him you’re the best.”
“Thanks, man.” I stand and stretch. My body is tense because of who is awaiting me in the ring. “Which one of us fights first? I forgot to ask Howard after he dropped this fucking bomb on me.”
“Me, then a ladies’ match, and then you. See, I’ll be out there by Raegan and Hilary, and if anything happens, we’ll leave.”
I smile, trying to raise my spirits. At least I have a little more time to clear my head. My nerves shoot back up when Blaize peeks in, and tells Garrett he’s about to announce him. I’m not ready. Garrett pats my shoulder and tells me it’s time to focus. I couldn’t agree more.
Usually, I step out and watch Garrett in his matches, but right now I am still sitting in the dressing room. Seeing Travis beforehand could be career ending for me. I don’t want to see him until I step into the ring. I keep reminding myself that Hilary is safe. She’s with Howard and Raegan, and I have nothing to worry about. I just keep telling myself over and over again, in a weary attempt to ease the stress. I should have brought my headphones to listen to some music, but the cheers I’m hearing from outside these four walls are quite entertaining.
Curiosity gets the better of me and I walk to the wooden door. I open it up to see Garrett doing what he does best. The crowd is chanting his name. I stretch my neck trying to see if I can catch a glimpse of Hilary, but the crowd is so thick my attempts are worthless. Another minute later, Garrett drags his opponent to the ground, sealing his victory, and the crowd erupts in cheers. I close the door as Blaize announces the ladies’ match. Minutes pass, and my hands become clammy. I grab my gloves and pull them on. Time is moving so slowly and it’s not helping my nerves. The door opens, and I almost jump out of my skin.
“Lance, get ready, dude. You’re up,” Blaize calls out, giving me a thumbs up.
“I’m coming,” I tell him as he shuts the door.
First, I walk over to the metal trashcan and empty the contents of my stomach. I stand there continuing to dry heave until I feel I can walk away. I reach down into my bag and grab a bottle of water. I down the entire bottle, and drop it into the trashcan. It’s game time.