How to Date a Nerd (7 page)

“Don’t you think I’ve tried? It’s harder than it looks.” He shrugs her hand off, and I can’t help but feel happy he keeps rejecting her touch. If he hadn’t, I probably would’ve gone all Gollum on her even though I have no claim on the boy.

Ariana’s face darkens, flushing to the color of a fire engine. “I guess if you’re into shallow girls who sleep with every guy they see, I suppose she would be hard to get over. But I thought you were different than that. Better.”

Holy Batman. Maybe I’m not exactly popular with everyone. I’ve changed almost one-hundred percent and people are still talking about me behind my back.

My cheeks blow up, and I force the tears away.

Breathe, Zoe. Breathe! You have to breathe!

I can’t, though. It hurts too much. It’s like it’s two years ago again, and I’m right back to where I was. Being insulted and gossiped about. It doesn’t matter that Ariana’s one of the loser girls. It feels close to the same as it did before. Only this time, she’s making fun of someone I’m
trying
to be, and not who I really am.

I guess that’s not as bad.

I’m breathing again.

I’m also trying not to notice Ariana said “get over.” I had no idea he had to get over anyone, let alone someone who hasn’t given him the time of day since middle school. Someone like
me.

“Don’t believe everything you hear. I know she’s not really like that.”

There goes my heart again, pumping so loud I wish I could turn it on mute.

“You keep saying that, but I think you’re in denial.”

“She’s not like that.” His voice isn’t mean, but it gives the impression he’s done talking about it.

How the heck does he know I’m not really like that? Just from this weekend? Or do I always revert to Geek Zoe around him?

“Well, you need to face facts,” Ariana says, standing. She stumbles a little and Zak reaches out to steady her. When she gets her bearings, she folds her arms. “She’s changed. She’s a slut who doesn’t think about anyone but herself. She doesn’t want anything to do with you because you like things that aren’t ‘socially acceptable’.” With every syllable of her air quoted words, she cocks her head to the side. I’m about ready to reach up and yank her skirt down, just to watch her face get red. See how she feels when someone humiliates her. But that would make me a major hypocrite. “It’s stupid and shallow and weak. And you deserve better than that.” She pauses to catch her breath. Zak looks at the football field, seemingly lost in thought. “I hate to be the one who has to keep knocking sense into you, but someone has to.”

He nods.

Crap. He’s not defending me this time. Why would he? Ariana’s
right.

She’s right.

Oh my gosh.

I
am
a huge-ass hypocrite.

Stabbing pains shoot all over my body. I’m about to buckle over, but the ground is so nasty.

Ariana clomps down the bleachers, leaving Zak alone. Should I say something to him? How do I do that without him knowing I was here this whole time?

The warning bell rings, and I know I have to go. I can’t be late for my last class, but my feet aren’t moving. Zak punches his bag before picking it up, and stomps off after Ariana.

***

Hope gives me a ride home. I’m so glad I found her before I found Keira. I don’t want to act anymore, and though I still have to hide everything in the
Harry Potter
closet in my mind, I can at least somewhat be myself with Hope.

I stuff my Chemistry book between my legs as I buckle in. I haven’t spoken a word to anyone since lunch, and Hope eyes me with a tentative smirk.

“I heard about Levi.” Hope is anything but subtle.

I nod.

“Does he taste as good as he looks?”

I nod again. I’m not interested in gossip, and I’m
way
beyond putting up my false persona. I want to get home and erase the conversation I overheard.

“Could you feel it?”

Oh my gosh, is she serious? I give her a look and she’s stifling a huge grin. “Are the rumors about him true?” She’s laughing now, and I finally break down in a fit too.

“I really have no idea how big his wang is since I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Ah! I knew it!” she says slamming her hand on the steering wheel.

“Knew what?” I still can’t stop laughing.

“I could get you to crack a smile.” She winks. “Now tell me what’s wrong.”

I’m a freaking horrible person who made out with some random guy before stumbling after a guy who I’m face-over-feet for and I don’t know why. And I just… I miss being
me
.

I end up shrugging and looking out the window. Would Hope understand? Or would she be the next person to spit out a bunch of stuff behind my back?

“Are you surfin’ the Red Sea or something? You’re really quiet, girl.”

“Sorry.” And then using her question as an excuse I say, “And yes, I’m on my period. So I’m just a little out of it today.”

“I guess I’d be upset too if I was PMS-ing on top of breaking up with my boyfriend, my sister crashing my uber cute sports car, and then getting grounded for… how long was it?”

Oh that’s right. I’m “grounded.”

“Who knows? My dad didn’t get to that part.”

“I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do?”

No.

Well, maybe.

“Give me a hug?”

She smiles as she pulls over bumping against the curb. “Whoops,” she says, her face flushing. Even if she did drive stick, I don’t think I’d ask her to teach me.

We hop out and she pulls me in her arms. I guess faking to be someone else
has
worked. I know I wouldn’t have her if I still hung out with Zak and all the other D&D players.

We pull back, and I smile.

“Thanks for the ride, dirty skank.”

She laughs and socks my arm. “No problem, slut. See ya tomorrow.”

She drives off, leaving me standing in my front yard, heels sinking into the grass. I flick my eyes to my new car and puff up my face.

If I was a nice person, I’d leave Zak alone. Ignore what I overheard today and move on. Do what I’ve been doing. Be friends with Hope, keep getting the attention I want, and minimize getting tormented by all the kids in school.

But I’m not a nice person. I’m an egotistical, stuck-up, selfish beast. That’s who I’ve become. And all I can think about is what Ariana said. “
You have to drop it. You have to let her go.”

I don’t
want
Zak to let me go. Not when I just found out he had to. The problem is, I don’t know why I feel like this. It’s not like I can be his friend without suffering the consequences.

I let out the air stuck in my face and walk down the sidewalk. I’m going to talk to Zak. And this time, I won’t crawl out his window to get away from him.

Chapter 8

Only Zak would reference Star Wars
during a driving lesson.

Thunk, thunk, thunk.

Oh gosh. I think my stomach has fallen into my butt permanently as I stand at his door. I’m trying not to blow up my face, knowing how stupid I’d look if he caught me.

He opens the door smiling, but when he sees me, his face falls. He doesn’t say anything.

“Uh, hey.” How lame am I?

He narrows his eyes. “What do you want, Zoe?”

He’s still mad. He should be. From how I left on Friday or what I did at lunch I’m not sure. And I stammer out my next sentence. “I-I wanted to say I’m… like, I’m totally sorry about leaving the way I did on Friday.”

His eyebrow goes up and his ears go red. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. That wasn’t cool of me. And I don’t really have a good excuse for it.”

He shrugs and moves to lean against the doorframe, but misses and falls smack into me.

I’m trying really hard not to laugh, but I’m not successful. When he stabilizes himself he moves about ten feet away from me, but I can still feel the heat coming from his face.

“Uh…” He stumbles over the small syllable. “D-did you need something else?”

My breath catches as he jams his hands in his pockets. His holey jeans look so damn good on him. Usually, I’m always focused on his feathery hair and those dark eyes. And his jaw line is so chiseled, I can see the muscles contract as he chomps his teeth together, waiting for one of us to continue the conversation. Even his
Fallout
shirt under his black plaid does it for me.

“Zo?”

I shift my eyes, hoping he didn’t notice me checking him out. “I wondered if you were still okay teaching me how to drive?”

“I thought you were grounded.”

That lie is really starting to bite me in the butt. “I-I just can’t see any of my friends.” Crap. That totally came out wrong. “I mean—”

“No, you’re right,” he says, not looking at me. “We’re not friends.”

Ouchy. I wish I could argue, but I can’t. I haven’t been his friend. Gave that up when I gave up everything. I gulp and ask again, “So, can you? You know, teach me?”

He hesitates which makes me almost mumble out a whole bunch of “you don’t have to if you don’t want to, but I’d really like you to”s but I bite my tongue. I can’t control the natural response I have to awkward silence, and my face blows up to the size of a giant water balloon.

He smirks at my cheeks and pinches them together. My stomach does that stupid backhand spring like he’s suddenly the center of my universe.

“Hey, Mom!” His sudden outburst makes me jump and he laughs at me. “It okay if I take Zoe out for a drive?”

He makes it sound like a date. I’m not the only one who thinks so either. Mrs. Gibbons sticks her head out into the entryway, a gleaming smile glued on her face.

“Oh hi, Zoe! I didn’t know you were here. Zak, honey, aren’t you going to invite her in?”

“We were going to head out,” he says, giving her a look I can’t see.

“Will you be home for dinner?”

“Yeah.”

“Is Zoe joining us?”

“No.”

I only see half the conversation, but Zak obviously gives her the please-don’t-embarrass-me look.

“Okay. You kids have fun!” Her excitement is so transparent, it makes me feel like I should explain, but Zak pulls me down the porch steps before I can squeeze it in.

“Sorry,” he mutters as he drops his hand from my arm. I kind of wish he would’ve kept it there. Like old times. Like with his other… oh that’s right. We’re not friends.

“You don’t have to apologize. I know she
adores
me.” I nudge him with my elbow—because I just have to touch him—and he smirks.

“Must be because you’re so humble about it.”

“Hey, you know you want this.” I gesture to my body in a teasing and completely unsexy way. Zak throws his head back in a fit of laughter, which causes me to giggle like a little school girl. We better get in the car fast before someone sees Geek Zoe.

“Yes. So humble.” He walks over to my car, right to the driver’s side. I make my way to the passenger seat.

“Um, hello? Where are you going?” There’s that smile again, sending waves of tiny butterflies in my chest.

“You walked to the driver’s seat. I thought you were going to take me somewhere secluded so I don’t kill anyone.”

His barking laugh is so addictive. “I was opening your door for you, silly girl.”

“Oh.” I’m so stupid. I cross around, and he holds the door open. “I guess chivalry isn’t dead.”

“For some of us it isn’t.”

He shuts the door and walks over to his side. Gosh, I’m freaking nervous. My hands shake so badly you could put a paint can in them and I’d have it mixed within seconds. And he called me “silly girl” again. Why the heck does that make my heart go
wa-bam
?

He sits and a wave of his amazing cologne hits my nostrils. I resist the urge to moan.

“Okay,” he says as he buckles. “You ready?”

Heart still going way too fast. Maybe this isn’t such a good idea.

But I nod anyway.

“You’ve got your foot on the clutch?”

I nod. I know
that
much about manuals.

“Let’s start her up.”

I can’t get the stupid key in. My hands won’t stop shaking. Zak smiles, reaches over, brushing my hand, and turns the key.

The car vibrates up my butt and I let out a yelp.

Zak grins, totally holding back his laughter and says, “Nice. What kind of engine does this have?”

I shrug. I don’t think my voice can function right now.

 “Okay, let’s put the car in reverse.” He looks down at the shifter and laughs. “You’ve got a funky one.”

“What?”

“You see the ‘R’?”

I look down, squinting at the tiny letter in the upper left corner next to the number ‘1’. “Yeah.”

“Well, that means you have to push the shifter down before going in gear. Watch me, and keep your foot on the clutch.”

He shifts so fast I blink a couple times before saying, “Wait. Show me again.”

He chuckles as he pulls it out of gear, then back in. “Did you see that time?”

I throw him a look. “Yes.”

“Okay, now feather the clutch.”

“I wanna what now?”

He shakes his head, stifling his laughter again. “Do you remember on
Star Wars
—”

“You’re seriously going to go there?” Now I’m stifling some major giggles.

“Let me finish. Millennium Falcon. Does Han Solo whip the lever down when he puts it in hyper drive?”

I totally know the answer. I still watch it every other week. But am I ready to be one-hundred percent Geek Zoe? Well, maybe right now. I mean, we’re not in school. And I know Zak won’t make fun of me or anything.

“No. He does it kinda slow.”

“That’s feathering. Ease your foot off the clutch.”

Okay, so the
Star Wars
reference works. Darn boy knows me better than I know myself. I “feather” the clutch, my foot shaking either from nerves or the vibrating engine, and the car rolls back.

I pull my foot off the clutch, startled from the sudden movement and the car lurches to a stop.

“It moved!”

Zak bends over, cackling between his legs. “It’s supposed to move, Zo.” He wipes tears from his eyes. My defenses pop in, but I can’t help but laugh with him, so I know he’s not going to take me seriously.