Hurting To Feel (Carpool Dolls) (13 page)

She
walked down the stairs and across the lobby. Checking the street first, she
quickly locked the door and hurried to the Porsche. Inside, she locked the door
and pulled away from the curb.

It
took her no time to travel the five blocks to her house. The street bare of any
other cars but her neighbors on the left, and Mrs. Lindsay's garbage cans on
the right. She parked, and with keys in hand, jogged up the pathway and let
herself in. Then she locked the door. A hysterical giggle escaped.

She
was being silly. Nathan had better things to do than stalk her. She shrugged
off her coat. They'd had great sex, that's all.

Okay,
better than great. Sex with Nathan was fantastic. Better than anything she'd
ever experienced, but relationships were built on more than if they turned each
other on. Lifestyles had to match, and personalities came into play.

She
and Nathan had nothing in common. She felt like a little girl playing dress up
around him. He'd figure out who she was, and drop her faster than a plunging
cash cow in the stock market.

She
kicked off her heels and walked barefooted into the kitchen. Her stomach
gnawed. Nervous the whole day, she was afraid to eat. Now she craved a baked
potato.

Two
feet inside the room, she flipped the light switch on. Sensing something out of
place, a form took shape and she screamed.

Nathan
sat in a chair by her table. One look, and she knew he wasn't happy to see her.

"H-how
did you get in here?" She sidestepped to the island, needing something big
between them.

"Breaking
into houses is easy. Cars are even easier to jack. Try a bank…those make you
think." His gaze hardened.

She
squeezed the edge of the counter. "I'd like you to leave."

"There's
something about surprising someone." He stretched out his legs and crossed
his ankles. "I can almost smell the fear—he inhaled– and feel your heart
hammering inside your chest from clear across the room."

She
stiffened. Unable to take her eyes off him, she remained silent. For how much
he was scaring her to death—and he was definitely freaking her out—there was
something else about him that frightened her even more.

His
eyes, usually so clear and direct, held hers but it was almost as if he wasn't
seeing her. Yet, he was definitely looking. The disconnectedness physically
wounded her.

"Have
you ever experienced tasting the terror you bring out in someone?" He
shook his head, breaking his gaze. "No, probably not. You've had no reason
to hurt anyone."

"Nathan,
I–"

"But
you should." He stood and approached the other side of the kitchen island.
"I left you last night with a request that you call me in the morning. You
didn't."

"I–"

"You
did not," he said. "Nor did you answer the phone when I worried that
you grew sicker overnight and were unable to get to the phone. So, in my worry,
I came here."

"W-what?"
She reeled away and pressed herself against the refrigerator.

"Right.
Instead of going into the office this morning, I came here to help you. Because
that's what I fucking promised I'd do. Imagine my surprise when my knock went
unanswered. Then to find you not home, I made some phone calls. After confirming
with one of your dolls named Sheila, I learned you were at work and you seemed
perfectly healthy." He stepped around the island and leaned his hip on the
corner. "My terror over your safety evaporated into anger."

She
crossed her arms, thought better of angering him more, and put her fists down
at her sides. "I can explain."

"Oh,
you can explain?" He gazed up at the ceiling. "Since you're feeling
well enough to work, it goes without saying that you're in good enough shape to
fuck."

Her
throat closed. She shook her head, because this wasn't what she wanted.

He
stalked toward her. She melted into the flat, slick surface of the fridge and
even then, she couldn't escape. Not giving her an inch, he pressed against her.
She gasped at the definite hardness pressed into her stomach.
Oh, God.

His
head lowered and he spoke into her ear. "Try to play me, doll," he
whispered. "You want to know the real Nathan, I'll show you. You want to
speed things up and take what I need instead of pussy footing around with what
I was giving you. I'll give it all to you."

His
hot breath on her ear sent a quiver down her spine. One she tried hard to push
back, one she wanted to refuse, one she knew she shouldn't like. But, she did.

"I
told you what you'd get from me, and you walked into my bed on your own two
legs." He nipped her earlobe with his teeth. "I own your body. No
doubt, if I put my hand under your dress, my fingers would come away wet."

She
turned her head away from him. He only followed her, and she'd opened up her
neck to his mouth. The hard suction on the delicate skin where her neck met her
shoulder proved he was right. Her core spasmed, rebelling against her brain.

"I
made a promise," he whispered against her skin. "I will always,
always, make you satisfied sexually."

Her
knees weakened, and he dipped his body, nailing her to the appliance. His
erection ground into the V of her thighs. Her eyes rolled, and she closed her
eyelids in a vain attempt to hide the truth from him.

She
wanted this. This thing he was doing to her. The dominance, stealing her
control, taking over her power to think beyond the right now. Everything.

"N-Nathan…"
She wasn't sure if she spoke or thought his name.

"I'm
making you a new promise, doll, so listen carefully. You have no say in this
one," He took her wrists and held them out to the sides, stretching her,
crucifying her. "I will die trying to get inside your head. You can't run
from me. What you think, feel, fear, is now mine. I will know every secret
you've buried and every worry you've fed and nurtured by yourself. You think
I'm scary now, just know that I can make you or break you."

As
if he'd promised her the moon, she let go. Every muscle in her body ceased to
work. Nathan held her dangling from her wrists. The force of his hardness cut
into her pubic bone, and the pain, the discomfort, the inability to do a thing
about it, because she wanted even more left her whimpering.

She'd
gone beyond fear. Only one person could save her.

"Please."
She hung her head. "Please, please…"

Whether
she begged him to hold up his end of the promise and not give up on her, or to
end the torment of what he was doing to her body, she couldn't say. She only
knew his words filled her with something so profound, she'd die without him.

The
tinkle and clash of broken glass snapped her gaze up. Before she could
comprehend what'd happened, Nathan lifted her. She groaned as the front of her
body met the cold tile of the kitchen island. He yanked her dress over her ass,
pulled her ankles until her legs hung off the counter. She reached out, but her
hands slipped on the smooth tile.

Her
cheek pressed into the cold surface as Nathan spread her legs and plunged
inside of her without any warning. Swift pleasure filled her, and brought her
head off the counter. He shoved her back down, and kept a hand on her back. She
could do nothing, but take the savage thrust of his cock.

"Please,"
she whispered, wanting to move.

He
withdrew from her body. She squirmed, scared he was leaving, but his hand
remained on her back.

"This
is what you want, and I can give it to you." He stroked the rounded curve
of her hip. "All you have to do is give in to me. Challenge me, and I'll
fight back."

She
nodded, scraping her cheek. "I want…."

His
body leaned over her back and he used his weight to pin her down. Defenseless
and at his mercy, she submitted. How she would want to be fucked on the
counter, degraded, and put in a role she didn't believe in, was beyond her
thinking. She only knew she wanted him back inside of her. She wanted to come.
She wanted to come for him, so he wouldn't leave her alone.

"That's
it, doll," he whispered in her ear. "You're finally starting to
understand what you need from me. I can give you everything you crave and have
never received."

"Please."
She used all her strength to buck her hips, reminding him where she wanted him.

"I
can show you." He leaned back, straightening. "I can give you more
than even you know about and want."

A
resounding slap against flesh filled the room. A split second later, energy and
pain came from her, and she arched off the counter. His hand hitting her ass
came so fast, only afterward did the burn hit the surface. She struggled to
move away from the pain when he slapped her again.

Panic
ensued. She clawed at the counter. Her feet scraped against the cabinet below
her, scrambling for escape. Nathan pushed her down, plunged into her, and his
harsh breath swept over her shoulder. Her nipples ached underneath her, and she
squirmed, liking the way her whole body seemed under attack and not
understanding why she'd enjoy what he was doing to her.

"That's
it." He grunted, skidding her inches, making her skin burn as the tile
pulled against her skin. "I can make it all better."

With
his promise, she let herself go. She floated, yet felt him holding her down,
not letting her wander away to where she could become lost. The length of his
heat stroked her inside, letting her know she wasn't alone. For once, she gave
herself to someone else. To Nathan.

His
fingers dug into her upper thighs, not letting her get away. The reminder that
he controlled every move she made burned deep, scarring her for anything less.
She wanted proof that he'd be there, a reminder of where he'd taken her, and as
he dragged her back hard to meet his penetration, she came.

Every
inch of her cried in pleasure. Her voice filled the room. Her skin, hot and
tight, screamed out for more. Her insides exploded sending every high emotion
straight to her chest, and killing her in the most pleasurable way possible.

Barely
able to make a conscious thought, she closed her eyes and smiled as he released
his own pleasure inside of her. She wanted to tell him how she was feeling, and
reassure him she'd never ignore him again, but all she could muster up the
strength to do is whisper, "Yours."

But,
she wasn't sure if he heard her or she imagined the whole thing.

Chapter
Fifteen

Sometime
in the night, it was too dark and checking the clock was not a concern, Addison
had gone downstairs, leaving Nathan asleep in her bed. By the time daylight
filtered through the curtain and Nathan walked down the stairs, she was no
closer to making any sense out of her life.

In
fact, she wanted to hide and make every nasty and disgusting thing that
happened last night in the kitchen, and later in the bed and bathroom, go away.

Nathan
sat on the couch and pulled her onto his lap. She let him hold her close and
laid her head on his shoulder. Dealing with what happened seemed easier when he
was near. That fact frightened her.

Alone
and in the dark, she'd discovered how lost she felt. Whether that was because
of the wanton behavior he'd drawn from her or the thought she was sick in the
head for wanting him to strip her of all control and cause her pain.

"You
should've woke me," he murmured against her hair.

What
was she supposed to say? She needed time to herself without him owning her
thoughts or making her think differently than she'd always believed in. Knowing
she effortlessly gave up her control to say no, to stop, and instead acted as
if she couldn't live without him slapping her ass or fucking her hard enough
she felt every step down the stairway earlier.

So,
she remained silent.

"I
don't want you to think about what happened while you're at work today,"
he said.

She
stiffened. Work? God, how could she even go into the office, much less go in
the cars with other men?

She
pushed into a sitting position, but remained on his lap. "I need to shower
and get ready for work."

His
hand clamped down on her thigh, stopping her. She winched and a tiny surge of
pleasure she couldn't explain warmed her. He lifted the T-shirt she was wearing
and gazed down at her leg.

Three
fate bruises marred her skin. Barely anything, really. They'd be gone in a day.

One
by one, he settled three fingers over the discoloration, matching his hand to the
prints. She gazed down at his touch, barely breathing.

"I'd
hoped…," he whispered. "Until last night, I wasn't one hundred
percent sure you could handle me. You did."

She
nodded tightly, and moved to get off his lap. Distance would solve all her
problems. She'd gone through worst things than confusion, and would survive
today.

He
followed her out of the room. She refused to look behind her, and went up the
stairs. She hesitated on the third step. The muscles in the back of her thighs
quivered.