Hurting To Feel (Carpool Dolls) (19 page)

"Fuck,"
he muttered. "I'll take him out."

"N-no,
you can't," she said.

"I
need—He undid the buttons on his jeans and fisted his cock—fucking distract me,
before I do something we'll both regret."

She
pushed his hand away and took him in her mouth. The desperation etched in the
way his hand shook as he caressed her cheek and the unforgiving stance was a
familiar one. His dick hardened in her mouth, filling the space, and the power
of being the one who brought him to the state of arousal empowered her.

She
could do this for him. He needed her. She had a feeling he had no idea how much—
behind his control, his temper, his dominance— she loved being able to give him
comfort. She had a hunch, not many people had ever seen him the way he was
right now, holding himself back for her. The change in him turned her on as
much as when he forced her to obey.

"Suck
me hard," he said.

She
drew him farther into her mouth, until her cheeks hurt and he filled her
completely. Unable to move, because Nathan directed the movement of her head,
she used her tongue, her lips, and her throat to bring him satisfaction. In a
way her brain couldn't process, she wanted to open herself until nothing
remained between them.

Every
secret told.

Every
desire freed from shame.

Every
barrier torn down.

Nathan
went to the balls of his feet and arched his hips forward. His hold, painful
and constant, pulled at her head, and she greedily accepted every bit of his
attention as if she'd starved her whole life and he was finally feeding her.
Saliva coated her lips, and she breathed through her nose, taking more of his
hardness.

"That's
it," he said, groaning his release.

Seated
deep in her throat, his come filled her mouth and she gulped to keep from
spilling a drop. She panted, heightened to an intoxicating level.

Nathan
pulled out of her and tucked his cock into his jeans, then picked her up. He
sat on the bed, and she wrapped herself around him. Face to face, entwined, she
gazed into his eyes.

The
tension around his brows and mouth gone, he smoothed the hair away from her
face and seemed lost in thought. She framed his face in her hands. Her whole
life she'd kept her secret. She swore to her mother she'd go to her grave never
telling a soul who her father was. For her own sanity, she wanted to divest
herself of the one thing that weighed heavy on her mind, and tell Nathan.

He'd
never let Curt Stewart hurt her.

She
knew Nathan would die protecting her.

"When
my mother became pregnant with me, the man—my father—denied he was the man who
got her pregnant." She stroked her thumb along his lips. "He became
so violent and ugly, my mother feared for her life. In fact, he said if my
mother tried to put any claim on him, he'd have her killed…and me too."

"What
are you saying?" His fingers dug into her hips. "Tell me you're not
talking about Curt—"

"Yes.
Curt Stewart is my father." She laid her finger on his lips. "He
doesn't know me. As far as I know, he doesn't have a clue I am Carly Flint's
daughter. That's why I ran before you could finish introducing me. He's never
seen me. My mother made sure I never went close to him and frankly, I never
want to be near the man. That's why I didn't want to go with you to the
meeting. I couldn't chance running into him, or I'd put you in danger too. Whatever
happens, you must promise me that you'll never tell him."

"Baby…"
He embraced her, holding her tightly. "I know Curt rather well. I'll talk
with him after I beat the shit out of him."

"No!"
She pushed against him and grabbed his shoulders. "You can't. I never
would've told you if I thought you'd go behind my back. I trust you. Please
don't break that trust, because I don't know if I can…if I can do what we do,
what we have together if I can't trust you all the way."

"There's
doubt?" he asked. "Fuck, doll. I brought you into my life. Does that
mean anything to you?"

"I
don't know," she whispered. "Everything happened so fast, and this
isn't normal for me."

His
mouth hardened and he continued to study her.

"Don't
get me wrong. I love it," she said on an exhale. "But, it also scares
me. After reading…I'm on information overload. One minute, I think I understand
why I let you—"

"Why
do you?" He lifted her chin. "Let me in. Tell me why you practically
beg me to put my hand to you."

She
leaned forward and put her lips to his ear. "Because no one has ever
touched me for the simple reason of giving me pleasure. I'm not even sure if
anyone has ever truly loved me before. When you focus all your attention on me
it's the best feeling in the world. When you make me feel, I know you've
touched me and I'm reminded of your touch with every sore muscle, bruise, mark
you put on my body even when you're not by my side and I feel like I'm no
longer invisible. I know deep inside myself, I belong to you. And, whether you
feel that way toward me or not, it doesn't matter because for that minute, that
hour, that day, you're the first and only person who has ever touched me."

His
throat muscles spasmed against her hand. "And what happens the next day?"

"I'm
scared to death and want to run away because I know in the end, when you tire
of me, when you realize I'm not good enough for you, I won't survive being
without you."

Chapter
Twenty-One

Addison
stood before Nathan with her hands on her hips, her breasts incredibly high,
and madder than he'd ever seen her. He leaned back in his office chair and put
his feet up on the desk. He'd ignored her for five minutes when she'd barged
into his office on the seventh floor and shut the door behind her.

But,
he was done disregarding her. She'd worn herself out, and he was highly
aroused. She had no idea how irresistible she appeared to him when she put on
her serious face, stuck her nose in the air, and tried to put him in his place.

"I
mean it, Nathan. Call your thug off or I'll cause a scene big enough your
employees will talk about it for months." She glared.

"Come
here," he said.

"No."
She looked away from him. "I'm perfectly safe while at work. There's no
reason to have someone watching the building. Today, I could've sworn the guy
you hired tailed me on a client run. Tailed, Nathan. Do you know what that
feels like?"

He
clasped his hands behind his head and stretched back farther. "Get over
here."

"You
infuriate me," she mumbled, stomping around to the other side of his desk.

"Sit
on the desk and hike your skirt up a little. I haven't seen you all day. I've
missed you." He moved his feet to the side.

Addison
slipped her heels off and jumped on his scheduling chart. "Please, let me
do my job alone."

"Widen
your knees," he said.

Her
gaze went to the corner of the room, but she spread her legs. He dropped his
feet to the floor and swiveled his chair until she was in reach. "Antonio
is taking care of what is mine."

He
slid his hand along the inside of her thigh. With no hesitation, he shoved her
panties to the side, and his finger entered her hard. She gasped and her hands
went back to brace herself on the desk.

"Now,
you can either quit going out with your clients or lock your building door
during the hours you work or deal with Antonio hanging around." Without
taking his finger out of her, his thumb found her clit. "Antonio has
instructions only to follow you if he's suspicious of anyone, and once he feels
comfortable with your safety, he eases back."

"I
don't think it's necessary to—oh, God." She briefly closed her eyes as his
middle finger joined the first inside her.

Damn
she was tight. And wet. And fucking sexy.

"I
do think. You're important to me, and I won't put your life at risk." He
wanted to fuck her on the desk, but with a meeting in ten minutes, enjoying
Addy more would have to wait. "Remember what I told you. No one is allowed
to harm you. You're mine."

She
panted, lost in the pleasure he brought her. He rolled his chair forward and
leaned between her legs. He pushed against her thighs with his arms and eased
his fingers out of her. She moaned a protest that was quickly replaced with an
oh-God-yes when his lips sealed around her clit.

The
enlarged bud peeked out of the hood and he swiped his tongue over her. Her
womanly scent sent his blood surging through him, leaving him lightheaded. He
could spend all day between her legs and never tire or become accustomed to the
heady high she gave him.

Her
legs trembled against his head. He hooked his arm around her hips, holding her
in place. His attention directed on the very part of her that'd bring her
release faster than she could control. He stroked, caressed, nibbled. Finally,
she stiffened, her thighs clamping down on him. He exhaled a sigh, lapping up
the added wetness between her legs.

When
her tremors slowed, he eased away and rolled his chair back. He stood and
entered the attached bathroom, washed, and returned to the office with a wet paper
towel.

Addison
stood next to the desk, her dress back in place. Color dotted her cheeks and
her gaze trailed him under eyelids that went half-mast. He approached and
kissed her, wishing they were home and he could share how addicting her flavor
was to him. But, he had a meeting and his cock, which demanded attention,
needed a distraction.

"Are
we straight?" He adjusted the crotch of his pants.

"Yeah,"
she whispered, quickly wiping herself before throwing away the used paper in
the wastebasket. "I don't like it, but I'll deal with it because that was
hot. Really freaking hot."

He
chuckled. "I need to get to a meeting across the street. I'll walk you
out."

"Okay."
She glanced down and a soft breath escaped her lips at the state of his arousal.
"Can I…?"

"No."
He put his hand on her lower back and led her to the door. "Tonight you
can take care of me. I'll pick you up at the office. Don't be late."

She
waited until they were in the elevator. "I'm going to be late."

He
frowned, wondering why she'd say such a thing, and saw the way her eyes danced.
"Then you'll be in trouble."

She
leaned into him. Her hand went to his stomach, and her mumbled reply had him
trying not to smile. She wanted to disobey.

The
elevator doors opened, and he slid his hand down and grabbed her fingers into
his palm. For the first time, she'd shown herself to him without any urging on
his part. Her admittance came freely and that pleased him.

On
the sidewalk, he lifted his chin at Antonio but direction his attention to
Addison. "Are you meeting a client?"

"Yes.
The last one for the day." She curled into the front of him and lifted her
face. "Would it be horrible if I kiss you out here where everyone can see
us?"

"Do
you think I'd beat you if you tried?" he asked back.

She
pursed her lips. "I don't think you would."

"Then
you don't know me very well." He wound his arms around her and slapped her
ass with his hand. "Don't tempt me, doll."

She
laughed. He smiled down on her face, enjoying the carefree emotions she showed.
He wanted to capture her spirit and keep it with him.

The
polar opposite of her, he couldn't remember the last time he'd laughed because
something or someone pleased him or a moment struck him as humorous. Yet, the
last two weeks, he'd become lighter. That was the only way to explain the way
the tension eased in his chest and he was able to inhale to completion.

He'd
marked the improvement in his own life on physically releasing the darkness.
Addison gave him his outlet. But for how long would he be content with what
they shared together before he needed more?

A
few spanks, a couple of slaps, and taking her as roughly as his body demanded
catered to his needs now. What happened when he'd grow immune and want to unleash?
He could end up hurting her, and he found out there was a difference in causing
her pain and wounding her soul.

"Get
going." He kissed her. "Let Antonio take you to your pickup."

"See
you later then?" She walked backward until he nodded, and then twirled
away with a smile, giving him a jaunty wave over her shoulder.

He
glanced at his watch.
Shit.

Five
minutes late for his meeting, he checked the street and took an opening in the
traffic. Jaywalking, he hurried toward the Stewart building. Wishing he could
go home with Addison and skip the meeting, he pushed through the doors, rode
the elevator to the fifth floor, nodded at the receptionist, and walked into
the conference room ready to throw down business and get the hell out of there.

"Afternoon,
gentlemen." He stood at the head of the table.