Hurting To Feel (Carpool Dolls) (21 page)

Chapter
Twenty-Three

The
phone rang. Addison curled around the pillow clutched to her chest and stared
at her cell on the nightstand. She didn't have the strength to shut off the
phone.

She
couldn't shut off the phone. Because it was Nathan calling. She'd walked out of
his life, and yet she couldn't face not having any contact with him.

The
ringing stopped. She flung back the blanket and sat on the edge of the bed. There
was no reason not to go into work. Nathan was scheduled to be gone until
tonight. He couldn't stop her, and the dolls depended on her.

After
she completed the day, she'd hide in the house and prepare to face Nathan.
Sure, he had ways to get inside, but between now and then, she'd plan. Somehow,
she'd convince him that continuing down the road they were going was not a good
idea. For her or him.

She
walked straight into the shower, went through her routine and a half hour
later, walked out her front door dressed in a black cocktail dress despite it
being five o'clock in the morning. Her first customer wanted her dressed as if
she were going out for a night on the town.

None
of the dolls would question her heavy black eyeliner and letting her hair fall
wherever it wanted. She'd hidden her blotchy face and swollen eyes from crying
all night under her disguise.

Ten
minutes later, she walked into Carpool Dolls and spotted someone who put a
genuine smile on her face.

Joan
stood in front of her, hands clasped together, wearing a blue denim skirt,
above the knees but not quite mini, and an expensive silk pink blouse and pink
high heels. Her brown hair, trimmed and brushing the tops of her shoulders
softened the hardness around her eyes. Unless you knew Joan's story, the
skittish look that was always on the surface resembled shyness.

She
was perfect. The clients who wanted someone young and cute, would line up in
droves to hire her.

"Hey,
Joan," she said, smiling her pleasure. "You look wonderful, and the
outfit fits perfectly. How do you feel?"

"Nervous,"
Joan whispered. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do."

"That's
what I'm here for." She squeezed Joan's hand. "How's Lilly?"

For
the first time, Joan's shoulders relaxed and her mouth softened. "She's
enrolled in school. They have an afterschool program where she can stay until I
finish work. She was so excited this morning when I walked her to her
classroom. I think I was more nervous than she was."

"And
the clothes fit her?" she asked.

Joan
nodded. "Thank you again. She's never had brand new clothes before. You'd
think I gave her the best thing possible. You can take out what I owe you out
of my check…when I get one."

"No
thanks necessary. Every doll working for me gets the same treatment, and Lilly
is a mini doll, my princess. You'll see." She checked her watch.
"Let's walk out to the front. We'll be going together on the first ride.
Once we arrive in Portland, I'll help you find the client who hired you for the
trip from Portland back to Vancouver. Once he drops you off, you'll be four
blocks from the office. You can return to the building and wait for me. I
should be twenty minutes behind you. Does that sound easy enough?"

"I
think so…" Joan followed her into the elevator.

"You'll
do fine." She walked out onto the sidewalk at the same time an SUV pulled
to the curb. "Right on time."

She
opened the backdoor and waited for Joan to climb in, and then slid into the
passenger seat. "Hi, Quint."

"Addison,
you look beautiful as ever." Quint pulled the car away from the curb,
while looking in the rearview mirror. "How did I get so lucky to have two
dolls this morning?"

"This
is Joan. She's new and going on her first ride along this morning. I knew you
wouldn't mind." She glanced behind her and smiled. "Joan, this is
Quint Salles. He's been using Carpool Dolls for almost two years on a bi-weekly
basis."

"Hello,
Mr. Salles." Joan's cheeks flushed, but Addison was happy to hear her
speak loud enough Quint could hear her from the front seat.

"It's
a pleasure to meet you, Joan, and please call me Quint." Quint accelerated
onto I-5 and glanced at Addison. "Don't tell me you're going to stop
riding."

She
shook her head. "No, not at all. This is my favorite part of the job.
Besides, I'd miss my clients, and I need the break from all the paperwork at
the office."

Several
minutes went by. Addison viewed the stopped traffic exiting to Delta Park as
they zoomed down the carpool lane.

"So,
you're seeing Rafferty…" Quint set his cruise control. "Lucky
man."

Her
breath hitched. The pain of leaving Nathan after he'd left the house
resurrected. Not that it ever left.

"Thank
you," she said.

There
was no way she'd be able to explain her relationship with Nathan to Quint. She
couldn't decide if they were even together before she left him last night.
They'd expressed no love or warnings that they were falling in love. She knew
in her heart, she'd connected with him and he made her feel like she was in love.
Whatever they'd had, she wouldn't talk about it with others. Soon, she'd
explain that what they'd shared was over to anyone who asked.

Life
would go back to normal.

Fifteen
minutes later, she wished Quint a good day, and walked with Joan down to the
corner of Third Street and Alder. At this time of day, the streets were
semi-safe, but she'd taught all the dolls how to handle themselves in any
situation.

"Okay,
you've got ten minutes until your ride arrives. Every morning, you'll get a
print out of what kind of car, and the name of the client. Today, I'll fill you
in with the important information and oversee you." Addison hooked her
purse over her left shoulder. "Gerry Renolt drives a BMW, and has one of
the nicest mustaches you'll ever see on a man. He's quiet, so you'll only have
to introduce yourself and thank him when he drops you off in Vancouver. Just
relax, and you'll do fine."

"Okay,"
Joan said, fiddling with the pocket of her skirt.

"Now,
I'm going to walk down the street to the little café and grab me a coffee while
you wait. I'll be able to see you the whole time." Addison pointed.
"As you know, safety is important, so stand up straight, look around you,
and act like this is your right to be here. If anyone approaches you or asks
you for anything, you say, "No, thank you."

Joan
glanced away, smiling. "I can do that."

"Excellent."
She squeezed Joan's arm. "Remember you have a cell phone now. The number
for emergency services is clearly marked, along with my cell phone number.
Don't be shy about using either one. Your safety is our priority. I rather have
you call for no reason than to hesitate."

"I
won't need to call," Joan said.

"Honey,"
she said, lowering her voice. "I want you to know you no longer are
responsible for yourself. You're my responsibility. If nothing else, think
about Lilly. Give her what is normal, and show her how it's a good thing to
have someone you can rely on."

Tears
pooled in Joan's eyes and she nodded.

Addison's
chest tightened. Joan wasn't the first woman from the streets to realize that
being a Carpool Doll meant she was no longer alone. She understood the
confusion and reluctance that came with trusting another person. Someday, Joan
would come to rely on others out of habit and not necessity.

"Okay,
I'll see you back at the office." She turned and walked down the sidewalk.

Inside
Café Quick, her cell phone rang. She gazed out the window. Joan stood
confidently on the sidewalk without her phone in her hand.

Her
heart raced. Nathan hadn't called since before she'd left for work.

She
reached inside her purse and checked the screen. Not recognizing the number,
she pushed the button. "Hello?"

Silence.

"Hello?"
she repeated.

A
harsh breath came over the line. "You left," Nathan said.

She
closed her eyes at the onslaught of relief over hearing his voice, no matter
how angry. "I had to."

"Fuck
that." He exhaled. "I can't talk now. I'm walking into a meeting. Be
at our house tonight."

"I
can't," she whispered.

"You
will." Ruffling sound came over the phone and she could hear faint voices
in the background as if he covered the phone. "Addison. It's not
over."

"Nathan…"
She lowered her voice. "Give me a few days, and then I'll meet with you.
We can talk over dinner."

"No.
I'll find you," he said. "It's not fucking over."

She
pressed a hand to her stomach. "Please, I—"

He
disconnected the call. She held her hand in front of her and stared at the
screen. He wasn't going to give her time to figure out their relationship. He'd
taken her choice away, just like he'd threatened.

Her
legs trembled, and she reached for the nearest person.

A
twenty-something year old woman peered at her. "Miss? Are you all
right?"

She
managed to nod. "Y-yes, I'm fine."

Forgetting
about ordering her coffee, she walked back outside. Joan had already left on
her ride. She clenched her teeth. This had to end. Nathan would not distract
her from her work.

Carpool
Dolls remained her first focus, and she had others depending on her to keep
them in business. Nathan diverted her from what was important. She walked along
the sidewalk, going to meet her next client.

Each
step took her closer to Nathan. She knew without a doubt, she'd see him
tonight. Self-hatred swept through her knowing deep inside her soul, she looked
forward to him coming for her.

Her
weakness where he was concerned terrified her. She inhaled a shuddering breath.
Guilt over denying him what he needed killed any joy she'd received from
hearing his deep, calming voice. She'd seen the panic before he'd left, when he
thought he'd controlled the situation.

Even
all through the night and today, he'd called her out of fear, not control. He'd
put her first, before any meeting. She'd disturbed his work schedule.

God,
he's going to be livid with me.

Chapter
Twenty-Four

Nathan
refused to call Addison again throughout the day. He'd gone straight to her
house from the Portland airport, and found her house dark and locked. Instead
of feeling relief, believing she'd followed his directions and waited for him
at his house, the anger that'd festered the last twenty-four hours had him
speeding across the bridge until he whipped into his garage.

He
left his bag in the car and marched into the house. Inside his kitchen it
dawned on him that there were no lights on inside, no sound, no movement.
White, hot fury unleashed and he picked up one of the chairs at the table and
lifted it above his head.

"Nathan…don't,"
Addison said.

She
flipped on the switch, bathing the room in light. He dropped the chair, jumped
over the piece of furniture where it clattered at his feet, and strode straight
toward her.

He
stopped her from backing away from him. Unable to check himself, he hooked her
neck, holding her in place. He soaked in every detail about her.

Her
eyes, free from makeup. Her bottom lip wet and swollen as if she'd raked her
teeth over the sensitive skin all night the way she tended to do when worried.
The tendril of hair on the back of his hand was damp. His chest tightened and
he dragged her to his chest.

"Addy,"
he murmured.

She
fell against him sobbing. He stood there, holding her tightly, until even that
wasn't enough, and he had to pick her up. She wrapped her arms around his neck,
her legs around his waist. He accepted her kisses, finally capturing her mouth.

"I'm
sor—" She spoke against his lips. "Sorry. So sor—"

He
walked with her two steps, and couldn't wait. He took her to the floor, and
dragged off her clothes, rarely leaving her mouth as he showed her what he
wanted to do to her with his tongue. Without explaining, he stripped her of her
jeans. Then he wrestled with his pants with one hand, refusing to take his
weight off her, least she escaped.

In
seconds, he'd sunk deep into her pussy. The relief and power of possessing her
more phenomenal than anything he'd ever experienced. She belonged underneath
him, surrounding him, sucking the life from him.

Addy
came instantly. Her body seized, squeezing his cock. He violently thrust into
her, wanting to shed the turmoil she'd caused him. The worry that she'd
disappeared from his life as quickly as she'd entered fled. Together, he could
make sure she stayed.

His
toes curled. Pleasure rolled from his lower back, between his buttocks, and
nailed his balls as he shot his come deep inside of her. A savage groan ripped
from his throat. He had her, and she wasn't going anywhere.