I Could Pee on This (5 page)

Read I Could Pee on This Online

Authors: Francesco Marciuliano

I miss everything that once was me

Before I climbed this stupid tree

CUTE BED JUMP

Cute bed jump

See yes yes

No don’t door

Ball ball couch

Yes chin ear

Got tail tail

Run food skid

I’m just three

Weeks old and

Not good with

Man talk yet

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

My deepest thanks to Emily Haynes, Scott Mendel, Emily Dubin, Becca Cohen, Emilie Sandoz and the fantastic people at Chronicle Books who made all this possible and let me keep the word “Pee” in the title.

And a very loud “Thank You!” for all the love and support from Mom, Dad, Marcello, Kim Lofgren, Ari Jaffe, Lena Verkhovsky, Maryanne Ventrice, Dan Piraro, “Alspaugh” and every cat who somehow managed to use a keyboard without typing “Thustewje cdtfxjhsyt kshs” for 120 pages.

FRANCESCO MARCIULIANO
writes the comic strip
Sally Forth,
which runs in 700 newspapers (and the webcomic
Medium Large,
which does not). He was Head Writer for the Emmy Award-winning children’s show
SeeMore’s Playhouse
and has written for
Onion News Network, Smosh.com, McSweeneys,
and The New York International Fringe Festival. It took him over 30 years to learn how to spell his entire name correctly.

ISBN 978-1-4521-1058-5 (digital)

The Library of Congress has cataloged the previous edition as follows:

Marciuliano, Francesco.

I could pee on this, and other poems by cats / by Francesco Marciuliano. p. cm.

ISBN 978-1-4521-1058-5

1. Cats—Poetry. I. Title.

PS3613.A7348C68 2012
811’.6—dc23

2011053152

The following images copyright © iStockphoto.com/photographer:
Joseph Luoman, (typewriter)
;
David Meharey (mouse)
,
(mouse)
;
sansara
;
Oleg Prikhodko
;
Anita Bonita
,
Anita Bonita
;
1001 slide
;
Ary6
;
Peterfactors
;
Dave Long, (passport)
;
dyachenko, (kitten)
;
Maria Pavlova
;
Loran Nicolas
;
S. W Krull Imaging
;
Eric’s Photo Lab
;
fotojagodka
;
Nailiaa Schwarz
;
Viktor Kitaykin
;
bibìkoff
;
Chris Leachman
;
knape
;
Spurious2
;
ktaylorg
;
Mehmet Torlak
;
Idmeveruss
;
spooh
;
DOConnelL
;
prill
;
deemac
;
Ben Heys
;
PK-Photos
;
Aptyp_kok
;
Cheramie Photo
;
Dixi_
; TheFingerS
;
Chic Type
;
Watcha
;
ATesevich
;
herreidH
;
Peeter Viisimaa
;
skynesher
;
kevinjeonOO
;
Serg Petrov (kitten)
;
fcdb (stamp)
;
spxChrome
.