I Do (3 page)

“That's right,” Josh's dad said as he gave me a hug. “You're part of the family now.”

“She's always been part of the family,” said Chloe.

Soon the eight of us were seated around a big table, and before long, Josh and I were retelling the story of the soggy picnic in the park. I actually think it gets better with each telling.

“Let's see that ring,” Joy said as our tale came to an end.

I extended my hand across the table and waited as she examined it, slightly worried that it might not pass the test. I mean, just because I think it's perfect…but what do I know about fine jewelry?

“Beanie helped Josh pick it out,” my mom explained in an almost apologetic tone. Maybe she wasn't too sure either.

“It's exquisite,” Joy finally said, and I sighed in relief.

“Have you kids set a date yet?” asked my dad.

“Not exactly,” said Josh. “I tried to talk her into eloping last night, but she told me to forget it.” He winked at me.

“I was thinking maybe June,” I said.

“Naturally, Caitlin wants to finish school and graduate,” added Josh.

“The only problem is that we'd both wanted to get down to Mexico in early June,” I told them. “And that kind of cuts into the honeymoon.”

“Maybe you could have your honeymoon down there,” suggested my dad. “Might save some travel time.”

“In Mexico?” Joy frowned at my dad, as if he'd just recommended we stay in a cheap motel in downtown Tijuana.

“They have some nice resorts down there,” my mom said with a slightly stiff smile. “On the beach.”

“I suppose.”

“I think a resort in Mexico is a great idea,” said Josh quickly. “I'll have to go on-line and look into the possibilities.”

“They've been having some real bargains lately,” offered my dad. “And if that doesn't work, I've heard that cruises are getting cheaper every day.”

“Not a cruise for the kids.” Joy firmly shook her head.

“That's for old people like us.”

“Sounds good to me,” said Stan.

“Now,” Joy said, turning her attention back to my mom. “We'll need to start planning for the big event right away.”

“Right away?” My mom looked skeptical. “But it's only October.”

“Well, a June wedding is right around the corner,” said Joy. “And there's so much to be done in just a few months. There are invitations and dresses and flowers and photographers and, of course, the reception.” She turned to her husband. “Stan, don't you think the country club would be absolutely perfect for a June reception? We'll have to book it right away.”

Suddenly my parents looked fairly overwhelmed, and I started to feel slightly guilty. We've never really talked about anything like this before, and I had no idea how involved they wanted to be in my wedding plans. I wasn't even sure how involved I wanted them to be. The truth is, this was all still new to me.

“Don't worry,” Joy said in a calm voice. “I helped my sister plan a wedding for my niece a few years ago. It's not terribly complicated if you start early enough. I think I still have a book that lists everything that must be done and when it's time to do it.” She smiled at me now. “Don't you worry about a thing, Caitlin. Your mother and I will have everything under control before you even know it.”

I think that's when I first started to worry.

Josh assured me that he'd get his mother to calm down about the wedding as he drove me back to college yesterday afternoon.

“I know she means well,” I said. “But isn't the bride's family supposed to handle most of the wedding plans?”

He laughed. “You know my mom. She loves to get her finger into this kind of thing. I still remember Aunt Kathy wanting to pull her hair out because my mom insisted on having these specially engraved wedding favors for all the guests, and they ended up costing a small fortune. My aunt still won't let her forget about that.”

“And you need to remember that my parents aren't as well-off as yours.”

“It's ironic too,” he said. “Because I'll bet your dad makes more than my dad. It's just that my family has inherited a lot of their money, and my mom's pretty good with investments. Plus, there's Chloe and all her recording contracts that get my mom to thinking we're millionaires.”

“But that's Chloe's money, Josh.”

“But she's a very generous girl.”

I wanted to get back to the wedding subject. “Well, anyway, I hope things don't get out of control. I'm not even sure what my parents can afford. Things might need to stay simple.”

“I'll do my best to hold my mom back while you're away,” he told me as we finally pulled up to my dorm building. “But we will have to make some decisions,
Caitlin. As far as finals and graduation go, look at your calendar, then e-mail me when you think you've got the date narrowed down.”

Then Josh walked me up the steps to my dorm, holding my hand more tightly as we reached the door. “I don't want to let you go,” he said as we stood outside and hugged.

“I don't want to go.”

“You sure you don't want to elope with me after all?” he teased.

I pretended to consider this, then firmly shook my head. “No way, Josh. I've waited a long time for this. I want a wedding with all the bells and whistles.” Then I paused. “Well, maybe not
all
the bells and whistles, and certainly not those expensive engraved guest gifts. But I definitely want the white gown and all my friends and family gathered to celebrate with us.”

He smiled and pulled me closer to him. “That's what I want too.”

“But I don't know about a reception at the country club.”

His face was close to mine now. “Me neither.”

And then we kissed. Believe it or not, it was only our second kiss since I'd agreed to marry him. One was on the porch at my house the previous night. And then tonight. But it was a long and passionate kiss and by the time we finished, I felt light-headed, like I could barely breathe. Then we hugged tightly for a long time. And
finally Josh sighed and just looked down at me. “I think it might be a good thing we're not living in the same town, Caitlin,” he said in a husky voice.

I smiled at him. “Too tough to resist me?”

He laughed. “It's always been tough to resist you.”

“Same back at you.” I reached up and touched his cheek, studying his face so I could dream about him tonight.

Just then the door shot open, and several girls came bursting out. They were arguing about where they were going for pizza, and it seemed pretty clear that our romantic moment was lost.

“I'll e-mail you when I get home,” said Josh.

I nodded, feeling sad to see him leave. “I'll miss you.”

“I love you,” he said in a quiet voice.

“I love you too.”

And then he was gone. I suppose he might be right about the distance thing. In some ways it is a relief knowing that we won't always be peeling ourselves off of each other. And despite the fact that I know he is the one and I fully intend to marry this guy, I still do NOT plan to sleep with him-or to have any form of sex with him-until our wedding night.

Call me old-fashioned or conservative or just a woman who's trying to obey God, but I am committed to this. Even so, I won't deny that those old hot-and-tingly feelings were rushing all through me. I'd have to be dead not to notice.

At the beginning of this school year, Jenny Lambert called to tell me that she had transferred to the university and was looking for a roommate. The timing couldn't have been better, since my old roommate Liz Banks had already moved in with her new boyfriend, and I was temporarily roommate-less.

And even though I was seriously bummed to lose Liz (despite all the challenges in the past), it was great getting to hang with Jenny again. I'd almost forgotten how much fun we'd had during our senior year in high school. And here we would be doing it all over again in our senior year of college. Not only that, but Jenny can be such fun. Whereas Liz can be dark and moody at times (plus she's not a Christian); Jenny is usually bubbly and light, and she's a Christian.

When I got home on Sunday night, Jenny had been out late, so I wasn't actually able to share my big news until
after classes on Monday. I decided to invite her to fish and chips, where I thought we could celebrate my engagement. But when I asked her, she told me that she wasn't really hungry. Now this kind of bothered me, since she seems to be “not hungry” a lot lately, and I guess I'm still a little worried that she may still be playing with the whole anorexia thing.

Now I haven't asked her about this specifically yet. I mean, we've only been rooming together for a few weeks, and it's possible that I'm just feeling overly sensitive since I'm still wearing the “freshman fifteen.” (It's supposed to only be five, but that's how many pounds I've put on since I started college!)

Okay, I'll admit that I was a little underweight at the beginning of my freshman year, but these extra pounds have been bugging me lately. Maybe even more so now that I'm engaged. I kept thinking I'd start working out or jogging, but I get so loaded with classes and stuff that I forget. And when I saw Jenny this fall, just as skinny as ever, well, I suppose I felt a little envious. And that might've been what made me suspicious about the whole anorexia thing again. Seriously, I hope she's not.

“But I wanted to go out to celebrate,” I told her.

“Celebrate?” She looked curious.

“Yes. Don't you think you could get hungry for that?”

She seemed to consider this. “I suppose I could eat a salad.”

Trying to put anorexia fears behind me, I agreed to
this, and we headed over to the fish-and-chip place. Then feeling too guilty to order fish and chips while I was with skinny Jenny who only wanted salad, I followed her lead and ordered light. But at least I had shrimp on my salad. After we got seated, I told her my news, and naturally she was very happy for me.

“Josh is a good guy, Cate.” She stuck a straw into her diet soda.

Hearing her call me Cate again, I had to smile. Somehow Jenny's always gotten away with that nick-name. “I agree,” I said.

“Even though he and I had some difficult times, you know, way back when…” she forced a little laugh. “I still think he's a great guy.”

Just as the waitress set down our salads, I suddenly remembered that Jenny and Josh had gone out during high school. I mean, it was only briefly, and so long ago…so much water under the bridge. It was almost as if I'd forgotten. Or like it had never happened.

But it had.

“I almost forgot,” I admitted to her.

She smiled. “Yeah, me too.”

“Does it bother you?”

Jenny shook her head. “No. Not at all.”

“Good,” I picked up my fork, relieved, but suddenly wishing I'd ordered fish and chips since I really was hungry. I could just imagine how good they'd be all soaked in vinegar.

“You two are so right for each other,” she continued. “I always knew you'd get married someday.”

“Really?”

“Sure. Everyone did.” She reached over and squeezed my hand. “I'm so happy for you, Cate.”

“Thanks.”

And okay, I think she meant it. But there's this part of me that's not sure. I mean, Jenny is so good at keeping a cheerful front. How do I know if she's really okay with this? And I watched her “eating” last night. She picked and picked at her salad, but by the time we left, she'd only consumed a few pieces of the lettuce.

I think I'll have to ask her about the anorexia thing. And if she really is struggling with this again, part of me is going to feel angry, and I know that's totally unfair. But when I agreed to be roommates, that's not what I signed on for. I don't want to have to confront her or watch her or worry about her starving to death.

To be honest, I just want her to be the normal, happy Jenny that everyone loves. I want her to be my buddy and maybe even help me make some plans for the wedding, because everyone knows that Jenny has really good taste. I want her to be glad that I'm engaged to the guy I love and to be supportive. Most of all, and I know this is totally selfish, I don't want her to rain on my parade. But really, how egotistic is that?

Even though Liz and I aren't rooming together anymore, I still believe that our friendship is good for the long haul. I mean, after all we've been through these past three years, I think we should be able to survive almost anything. Of course, I did my best trying to talk her out of what I thought was a totally stupid move on her part. But then Liz has always been a girl to make up her own mind, and, as sad as it is, she seems to enjoy learning things the hard way.

And so I must admit, I was pretty bummed when I found out about her and Leon. I really thought she'd gotten more open to God last year. I guess I actually felt it was just a matter of time before she would make some kind of commitment. Then Leon comes along (he's doing a master's program here), and he sweeps her off her feet. And the next thing you know, she's moved in with him. Now I'm not saying Leon isn't a nice guy. He actually seems rather thoughtful. But considering Liz's record with guys, it's hard to tell this early in the game.

“Don't worry, Caitlin,” she teased me, shortly after I'd heard their news. “I won't let Leon come between us.”

“But I'll still miss you.”

“At least you have Jenny now,” said Liz. I could tell right from the start that Liz didn't like Jenny.

“She's exactly what I thought you were when I first met you,” Liz told me privately, after I'd introduced her to my new roommate. It was one of those Liz double-whammy kind of insults. She's an expert at it.